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Put down my best friend and constant companion "Bailey" on 9/18/16. She had lymphoma which had gone from liver to sinus cavity and was bleeding from nose. Although the cancer had spread she was only in mild distress and "I" made the decision to have her euthanized. Since then I cannot get the look of her loving and trusting eyes out of my head and I can't forgive myself for having her put down. It's been almost 3 weeks and it's still unbearable. She was the sweetest, kindest animal I have ever known and the complete emptiness I feel will not go away and I am devastated by this. I never thought I would feel this bad about anything in my life and am hoping by posting this it will ease the pain. I love and miss you Bailey. You were my best friend, my heart and the best of me. I would give everything to have you back. Forgive me.
Full Version: Trying To Cope
Hello... I am so sorry that you are going through such a painful time. 
My situation was very similar to yours 7 years ago on September 16.
My dog Callaway had Lymphoma, or all of the symptoms, I didn't get him tested because he hates going to the vet and I didn't want to put him under.
He was good for about 6 months. I treated him like a king, cooked his meals for him, spoiled him and loved him even more than usual, then one day he couldn't get up and I decided right then that I would euthanize him the next day.
That next day he was still having issues getting up but when my vet came he jumped right up and greeted her but I still euthanized him. I struggled so bad for months because I questioned my decision.
You and I both decided to euthanize out of love for our animal. No matter when we did it I think we would question it.
Please don't torture yourself like I did, I was a complete mess, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and it affected my health. You will grieve and there is no way around that but please don't blame yourself for your decision, you didn't want her to get worse so you made the loving decision to let her go before she was in pain.
Bailey knows how much you love her and that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
I know the pain that you are feeling but just remember that you made that decision out of love and Bailey knows that.
My situation was very similar to yours 7 years ago on September 16.
My dog Callaway had Lymphoma, or all of the symptoms, I didn't get him tested because he hates going to the vet and I didn't want to put him under.
He was good for about 6 months. I treated him like a king, cooked his meals for him, spoiled him and loved him even more than usual, then one day he couldn't get up and I decided right then that I would euthanize him the next day.
That next day he was still having issues getting up but when my vet came he jumped right up and greeted her but I still euthanized him. I struggled so bad for months because I questioned my decision.
You and I both decided to euthanize out of love for our animal. No matter when we did it I think we would question it.
Please don't torture yourself like I did, I was a complete mess, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep and it affected my health. You will grieve and there is no way around that but please don't blame yourself for your decision, you didn't want her to get worse so you made the loving decision to let her go before she was in pain.
Bailey knows how much you love her and that you wouldn't do anything to hurt her.
I know the pain that you are feeling but just remember that you made that decision out of love and Bailey knows that.
Hi, Bailey's Guardian, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Bailey. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Bailey's Guardian, as our forum friend Rhapsedy has already so comfortingly shared with you, there is no doubt you did the absolute right thing for your beloved Bailey. Your beloved Bailey knows that you love her, and you proved this to her by releasing her from her frail, failing physical body with dignity even though your heart is breaking with the deepest sorrow of no longer having her sweet physical presence with you. The good news in the midst of your deepest sorrow is that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit is always a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Bailey's Guardian, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is important for you to know you are not alone in your grief journey - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Bailey with us, and this wonderful picture of your sweet girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Bailey's Guardian, as our forum friend Rhapsedy has already so comfortingly shared with you, there is no doubt you did the absolute right thing for your beloved Bailey. Your beloved Bailey knows that you love her, and you proved this to her by releasing her from her frail, failing physical body with dignity even though your heart is breaking with the deepest sorrow of no longer having her sweet physical presence with you. The good news in the midst of your deepest sorrow is that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit is always a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.
Bailey's Guardian, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. It is important for you to know you are not alone in your grief journey - - we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Bailey with us, and this wonderful picture of your sweet girl. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi, Bailey's loving Guardian,
Rhapsedy and moon_beam said it so well. Their words of love and wisdom to you echo my own feelings. Rhapsedy's assurance, "you didn't want her to get worse so you made the loving decision to let her go before she was in pain..I know the pain that you are feeling but just remember that you made that decision out of love and Bailey knows that." "
And what moon_beam said: "there is no doubt you did the absolute right thing for your beloved Bailey. Your beloved Bailey knows that you love her, and you proved this to her by releasing her from her frail, failing physical body with dignity even though your heart is breaking with the deepest sorrow of no longer having her sweet physical presence with you. The good news in the midst of your deepest sorrow is that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit is always a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you."
.
Please try to hang on to those wise words. And please let us know how you are doing.
Prayers of understanding and peace coming your way,
Kathy
Rhapsedy and moon_beam said it so well. Their words of love and wisdom to you echo my own feelings. Rhapsedy's assurance, "you didn't want her to get worse so you made the loving decision to let her go before she was in pain..I know the pain that you are feeling but just remember that you made that decision out of love and Bailey knows that." "
And what moon_beam said: "there is no doubt you did the absolute right thing for your beloved Bailey. Your beloved Bailey knows that you love her, and you proved this to her by releasing her from her frail, failing physical body with dignity even though your heart is breaking with the deepest sorrow of no longer having her sweet physical presence with you. The good news in the midst of your deepest sorrow is that love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Bailey's sweet Living Spirit is always a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you."
.
Please try to hang on to those wise words. And please let us know how you are doing.
Prayers of understanding and peace coming your way,
Kathy
QUOTE (Dog_Lvr @ Oct 6 2016, 02:07 PM) 
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Put down my best friend and constant companion "Bailey" on 9/18/16. She had lymphoma which had gone from liver to sinus cavity and was bleeding from nose. Although the cancer had spread she was only in mild distress and "I" made the decision to have her euthanized. Since then I cannot get the look of her loving and trusting eyes out of my head and I can't forgive myself for having her put down. It's been almost 3 weeks and it's still unbearable. She was the sweetest, kindest animal I have ever known and the complete emptiness I feel will not go away and I am devastated by this. I never thought I would feel this bad about anything in my life and am hoping by posting this it will ease the pain. I love and miss you Bailey. You were my best friend, my heart and the best of me. I would give everything to have you back. Forgive me.
Put down my best friend and constant companion "Bailey" on 9/18/16. She had lymphoma which had gone from liver to sinus cavity and was bleeding from nose. Although the cancer had spread she was only in mild distress and "I" made the decision to have her euthanized. Since then I cannot get the look of her loving and trusting eyes out of my head and I can't forgive myself for having her put down. It's been almost 3 weeks and it's still unbearable. She was the sweetest, kindest animal I have ever known and the complete emptiness I feel will not go away and I am devastated by this. I never thought I would feel this bad about anything in my life and am hoping by posting this it will ease the pain. I love and miss you Bailey. You were my best friend, my heart and the best of me. I would give everything to have you back. Forgive me.
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