Greetings from Miami Florida USA -

This has been a very sad year..........

I have always loved God's furry, scaled, shelled, and what have you critters! And I have always had wonderful companion animals in my life - from a horse to a couple of little tree frogs.

At the beginning of this year, I had two wonderful dogs as my buddies - B.B. and Ace. I got B.B. as a sickly 8 week old pup from the Northshore Animal League in NY. I went there with one purpose: to adopt a puppy for my then 18 month old son. She was a chestnut Lab mix with "flying nun" ears that were much to big for her. And she had three different parasites and required much care. After filling out a stack of forms and waiting for over an hour, we took her home and counted our blessings for having her in our lives. B.B. grew to be a fantastic guard dog and my very own precious shadow! Where ever I went, she followed without the slightest hesitation.

Nine years later, my husband came across a black lab-mix who seemed to be lost. He brought him home after the poor dog sat by his office door in the NC heat all day. He had a collar, but no tags. We put signs up for blocks of where he was found and an advertisement in the local newspaper. But no one replied. So what else could we do but to keep the lovable guy? Our vet said that he was about one year old and in pretty good health. We named him Ace, and he and B.B. became the best of buddies. That was nine years ago and so much has change this year after we moved to Southern Florida.......

B.B. developed severe athritis in her spine. Her vet prescribe pain pills and we fussed over her. She would walk around the perimeter of the backyard for hours and the vet said that was probably why she survived so long. She completely lost her hearing and her eyesight declined. She became incontinent and we had to keep her outside with her doghouse so she wouldn't be embarrassed by having accidents in the house. And we praised God for the warm FL weather. B.B. got to the point that she only recognized me - HER shadow! Wherever she went, I followed without the slightest hesistation. She lost weight even though she was eating well. Then, this April, her back hips and spine collasped and she could not get up........... I was devastated.

My husband convinced me that B.B. and I had to say good-bye. He insisted that she was only holding on for me. So after some prayer I agreed that he could take her to the vet's office - her final trip in the car, which she loved up to her last day. B.B. was 17 1/2 years old. I still miss her and I would have to write a novel to tell you of all the joy she brought to my family over the years. So Ace, my son, two cats and I said goodbye through showers of tears...............

The next month I noticed a lump growing on Ace's side. We took him to the vet's office on a Friday and he insisted that the lump be removed the following Monday. By the time we took Ace in for the scheduled surgery, the lump had grown from the size of half a golf ball to a softball. He pulled through surgery without any complications and recovered beautifully for a 10 year old dog! But the biopsy came back as MAST Cell Cancer - grade 3. The tumor that had been removed had a clean border, which was good. Although the vet was optimistic, I was still worried after doing some research into the matter, being that the cancer was grade 3. Ace never lost his spirit and every thing was going well until August......

That's when I noticed that the lump had come back. Ace had barely grown his fur back from surgery and he had another lump growing. So we took Ace back to the vet's office. I could tell by the vet's facial expressions of worry that it wasn't good. He scheduled him for another surgery immediately. And this time Ace had a very hard time recovering. The lab report came back with no clean tissue around the tumor and advise to remove more tissue. But the vet told me, with a tear in his eye, that he was up against ribs now and there was no more tissue to remove....... My heart sunk in my chest. The vet informed me about a steroid treatment that, in some dogs, could slow the cancer growth and buy some time. So we began the treatment.

Ace did not have the results from the steroid treatment that we had hoped for. He grew more tumors at the spot of the original tumor and started getting tumors on his feet. The vet also prescribed a medicine for the terrible itching that the chemicals from MAST Cell cancer produce. We kept Ace as comfortable as we possibly could and prayed.

This past week was horrible for all of us. Ace was miserable from itching, huge tumors growing on his side and digestive problems. He could no longer keep anything down. He laid around and it seemed an effort for him to even wag his tail. Monday morning he would not even take a milk bone - his absolute favorite thing in the whole wide world. When he looked into my eyes and I saw so much pain, I couldn't stand it. We took him to the vet's office and they knew why we had come before we said a word. The vet just looked at me and said "I am so very sorry.."

This has been a very sad year......

I don't know whether anyone will read this or not. But I just want to say that when my dog B.B. was growing old and actually going through a very natural aging process that even some of us humans will experience, I used to pray to the Lord to please take her home while she slept and remove the pain. I did not want to do His job! And as Ace's health so quickly deteriorated, I found myself praying the same prayer for him. And yet I, and my husband made the choice to remove the suffering from our dear beloved friends.

Today I came home from work with no dog to greet me at the door after over 18 years. I sit here sobbing because I miss them both so much. And yet there are three cats sitting all around me sharing in my pain. The oldest, Merlin, 7 1/2 years old, was up all night - calling and roaming through every room looking for the big black dog who has always been in his life since we brought the cat in as a tiny grey kitten abandoned to die in the streets. And there's the 6 1/2 year old gentle orange tabby reclining at my feet, Sir Lancelot, who we adopted at 9 months old to keep Merlin company while we were at work all day. Oh - and the newest member of our family, who is pouncing on my lap and chasing anything that moves on the computer screen! Lovely, the beautiful ocicat look-a-like kitten that my son found in the Redlands just 2 months after we said goodbye to B.B.; she is the baby of our family.

As much as my heart is broken, God has shown me this one thing - B.B. and Ace were blessings to our family! Had we not taken them in, what would have become of their lives? They were always well cared for and loved - in fact, they were right out spoiled with caresses and songs and toys and games! And our lives are so much richer for having brought them into our home. They gave so very much to us all. Their loyalty and adoration was a daily blessing to us. And I thank God for the privilege of caring for two of His wonderful creatures over all these years.

May the Lord bless each and every one of you for your compassion and love and care of His beautiful creatures. And may He wipe away every tear from your eye when it's time to say good-bye.

- LaNett <><

LaNett
I'm so sorry for your losses. Our furbabies are such a huge part of our lives, real family members, that it's sooo hard when they have to go to the next place. I know the emptiness without them. I shed tears reading your story about your precious BB and Ace. They brought you many years of joy and happiness and that you gave them so much love and an amazing life. I know they thank you for that! Please write anytime. There are many wonderful souls here at LS that will lend a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on at this most difficult time.
Your in my thoughts and prayers
Libby

A bueatiful story of love you have written. I lost my boy of 9 and a holf yrs, a bueatiful blk lab, he was my shadow, he was hit by a car on Oct 14 and I had to put him to sleep Oct.15, I am going through the pain of trying to get used to My Moose not being here, it is a hard road to travel I have cried every day since it happened. I too am glad to have been given the gift of Moose, he came into my life at a time I was losing my parents and has been my best friend and companion up onto the day I took my eyes off of him and a horrible accident happened. My heart cries out to God in brokeness and sorrow...............and thankfulness for having him in my life. I am having a very hard time I honestly dont know if I can ever get used to him not being with me. Life is so bitter sometimes........I am so thankful for the encounters I have had on this web site, so many hurting hearts.........and so much love.....Moose's mom Pamela

Libby and Pamela:

Thanks for the kind words. Part of me wants to blame myself - if only I had fed them a different food, if only I had walked them more, if only I had not moved them from North Carolina to Florida....... but maybe it is just that all life here comes to an end and that's just the reality of Truth. We've just got to remember all the love our little friends so unselfishly gave and return that love to others who come within our lives - whether critter or human.

My mom, in New Mexico, had two little teacup poodles and the eldest of the two had a terrible stroke just about a month ago. They had no choice but to put her down because their vet said that the little dog would not be able to eat food at all. Her name was Sheba and she was 16 years old. Mom still has her sister from a different litter, Isis, who is 15. I just emailed her the link to this forum because it's been very hard for her and my step-dad to say good-bye to their little furry baby. Their remaining companion, Isis, is missing her sister, too.

Please keep them in your prayers. And I will pray for healing in your broken hearts, and anyone else who has lost a pet.

Thank you, once again, for your kindness.

- LaNett <><

LaNett,
That truly was a beautiful "love story." I am so sorry for all of your sadness and your losses. Poor little Ace. He was so very lucky to have you to love him and he was lucky he had a kind, caring vet. I know your heart is breaking. I too am familiar with "if only I hadn't moved." So many questions. So many things we wished we had done differently. "A different food. . ." You certainly did everything possible for your buddies.

It's just so overwhelmingly sad, so so sad. My heart goes out to you. I know how lonely it is there for you now. But you are not alone. We are here to help you through this.
Love,
Marcia

Once again, thank you just for being here. I was feeling so isolated in my grief. But after reading some of the posts in this forum I've realized that there are many going through what I'm going through. It make s such a big difference just knowing that I'm not crazy for having these feelings over a pet and I'm not alone.

Thank you!

- LaNett

LaNett, if you're crazy, then we're all crazy with you. We all loved our littlest family members, and the pain we feel when they have to go is the price we pay for the time we got to be with them.

LaNett,

As Pamela said, what a "beautiful story of love"... Thank you for sharing.

You are in my prayers!

Love,

Kathy

Dear LaNett,

What a beautiful story. I, too, took in a little lost puppy 5 years ago. Had I not taken her in, she would have been taken out and shot by the local dog catcher. She was a true blessing in my life. She so enriched my life with her presence and unconditional love. We had such a wonderful life together. Last April I was scratching her neck and noticed a lump. After numerous trips to the vet, antibiotics, and surgery, she was diagnosed with malignant lymphoma. I was devastated. I can totally relate to loosing your beloved friend to cancer. Shiloh lost her battle on September 17th of this year. When I drive up to my front door I still look for her happy little face in the window...each day I'm sadly reminded that she's not here. I miss her so much.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is such a wonderful website. Thank you for coming here and sharing your story.
Take care,
Kathleen

Hi LaNett,
I just wanted you to know I am sorry for your loss and your sorrow. Sometimes life can be so hard at the best of times but to lose our babies is horrible. My little Snookie has been so sick and we just lost my sons little 10 year old dog. I have been crying many tear too. I am thinking of you.
Ann

I went back to work today and managed to get through the day with only one outbreak of tears. The guys at work were very sensitive to what I'm going through. They were all asking me how I was getting along. A few of them shared with me about how they had lost beloved pets - one, Mike, had to put his cat to sleep after 19 years of having him as his best friend! He had tears in his eyes while telling me about his little furry buddy, even after a few years have passed.

The hardest thing was, again, coming home.........my cats came running to let me know that they were ready for some dinner. But it's still so sad not having Ace whimpering and acting cute to get attention first. He used to want to just get some pets and let me know that he missed me through the day.

Something that was really funny - every time I got on the phone to talk with my mom who's miles away, Ace would go to the pantry where his treats and food are and start barking and begging! Just like a little kid, my mom always said on the phone as she competed over his insistant begging, wait until mom's on the phone to see what he could get away with!!!

......................I miss him so much.

But it sure helps to know that I'm not alone. Thank you, every one, for just being here.

In His service - LaNett <><