Hello everyone, I'm Fabienne from Belgium and sadly I had to let my sweet Molly go last November due to cancer. We had tried chemo for 4,5 months but all of a sudden it took a turn for the worse and she just stopped producing white bloodcells.
I'm still completely heart broken about it and have been searching for kindred spirits and someone to talk to.
It is very sad that here in Belgium it is not done to grieve for a pet, you can't even grieve for a person for more then a few weeks...
I sought help at my doctor, but he just waved my sorrows away saying 'it was just a dog'.
I then tried to turn to a psychiatrist but there was also not realy much understanding for my grief (and it costs up to 75 EUR per session..)
There are no support groups here so I had no other option then to turn to you.
And I'm thankfull that this exists, altough it's on the other side of the world (thank God for the internet)
I miss my girl, she was always with me, I work from home so my babies are actualy seldom alone.
They are my family, friend, compagnons, my everything.
I got a new puppy after a few weeks and I love her to pieces.
She's also a very sweet baby but people always think that, when you get another dog, there is definatly no more reason to grieve the old one.
Why are people so rude and have no feelings?
I'm not used to this way of communicating so I'll leave it for now and hopefully there are some of you who respond.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Full Version: My Sweet Molly, Already 7 Months Gone
Hi, Fabienne, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Molly. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company.
Fabienne, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very painful. I am so sorry you have not been able to find the emotional support you need among your family, friends, and physicians. Not receiving the emotional support from people you know intensifies the grief. Although generally speaking the clincial professions now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, not all individual medical professionals and counselors - - and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally - - do not. I'm so very glad you found this wonderful forum where you will meet people who share your deep sorrow and know from first hand experience the ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds of this grief adjustment journey. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Speaking from first hand experience even though you have other precious companions in your home does not negate the deep sorrow in your heart as you adjust to the physical absence of your beloved Molly. And embracing a new companion is not a "replacement" for your beloved Molly. No other companion can ever "replace" your beloved Molly. Each of our companions has their own special place in our hearts, for the relationships we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal when you share with us "I miss my girl, she was always with me, I work from home so my babies are actualy seldom alone. They are my family, friend, compagnons, my everything."
It is obvious from what you share with us that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Molly a happy, healthy earthly journey. Your beloved Molly is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for her during her earthly journey, and you are now blessed with the honor of being her sole, and soul, heir to her eternal love. For love is eternal, Fabienne - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a hearbeat close to you.
I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Molly with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Fabienne, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that is filled with many different emotions that can overwhelm us all at one time which is why it is frequently referred to as horror roller coaster ride. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling and experiencing is very normal deep grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very painful. I am so sorry you have not been able to find the emotional support you need among your family, friends, and physicians. Not receiving the emotional support from people you know intensifies the grief. Although generally speaking the clincial professions now recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, not all individual medical professionals and counselors - - and sadly sometimes the people who are closest to us geographically and emotionally - - do not. I'm so very glad you found this wonderful forum where you will meet people who share your deep sorrow and know from first hand experience the ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds of this grief adjustment journey. Please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
Speaking from first hand experience even though you have other precious companions in your home does not negate the deep sorrow in your heart as you adjust to the physical absence of your beloved Molly. And embracing a new companion is not a "replacement" for your beloved Molly. No other companion can ever "replace" your beloved Molly. Each of our companions has their own special place in our hearts, for the relationships we have with each of our companions is uniquely individual. So please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal when you share with us "I miss my girl, she was always with me, I work from home so my babies are actualy seldom alone. They are my family, friend, compagnons, my everything."
It is obvious from what you share with us that you did everything in your power to give your beloved Molly a happy, healthy earthly journey. Your beloved Molly is eternally grateful to you for everything you did for her during her earthly journey, and you are now blessed with the honor of being her sole, and soul, heir to her eternal love. For love is eternal, Fabienne - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a hearbeat close to you.
I know so very well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Molly with us. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you Moon Beam for your kind words.
The reason why I don't find support is because I only have my parents, who are old and not open to this kind of grief.
I don't realy have many friends and I don't want to impose my grief on them because I don't want to see the look in their eyes of not understanding.
It means a lot to me to find comfort on this forum.
I am an introvert so I don't realy reach out to people in person, but behind my computer I feel more comfortable.
As I said before, my dogs (and cat) mean the world to me and when I got the news last year that my Molly had cancer, my world just fell apart.
I instantly notified all my costumers that from that moment everything would revolve around her and her illness.
I am a freelance secretary and I'm lucky to have great costumers who were very understanding.
I didn't leave her side anymore, and if I realy had to, my ex-boyfriend came to look after her.
Don't misunderstand, she didn't know she was sick, she was her own sparkling and happy self till the last week of her life, but I didn't want to leave her alone anymore.
They were a hard 4,5 months because I went to an oncologist in the Netherlands, which is about 32 km (I think that's about 20 miles) from home.
But I did it with love, she was getting better, the cancer became smaller and she only was sick from the chemo once in all that time.
I gave her everything she needed, went for extra walks, short but nice walks.
I tried to show her all the love I had for her and she came to comfort me when I was sad..
She was my special girl, I got her when I was single so the first year of her life it was just her and me.
Then I met my ex-boyfriend and after a while we got another dog, my boy Darko and that was all fine for her because she knew she was my special lady.
After 5 years my relationship enden (he is still my best and only friend) and when Molly got sick he was always there for us, going with us to the vet, getting grosseries because I wasn't able to leave the house.
He still comes over every Friday evening because he knows that's the time it's the hardest (she went away on a Friday evening) and understands my grief, but he can't help me, I need someone who doesn't stand so close to me.
Does that make any sense?
My little Tessa is also a great lady, very clever and also very sensitive, she comes to comfort me when she sees or hears me cry.
She is realy great and thanks to her I started to build a new kind of routine, walking my dogs, training them.
But as you say, the first year is always the hardest.
The 20th of June is her birthday, the 23rd of June we got the news that she had cancer.
The 3rd of July we started chemo...
I tried to add a picture but apparently it didn't work.
I'll try again.
The reason why I don't find support is because I only have my parents, who are old and not open to this kind of grief.
I don't realy have many friends and I don't want to impose my grief on them because I don't want to see the look in their eyes of not understanding.
It means a lot to me to find comfort on this forum.
I am an introvert so I don't realy reach out to people in person, but behind my computer I feel more comfortable.
As I said before, my dogs (and cat) mean the world to me and when I got the news last year that my Molly had cancer, my world just fell apart.
I instantly notified all my costumers that from that moment everything would revolve around her and her illness.
I am a freelance secretary and I'm lucky to have great costumers who were very understanding.
I didn't leave her side anymore, and if I realy had to, my ex-boyfriend came to look after her.
Don't misunderstand, she didn't know she was sick, she was her own sparkling and happy self till the last week of her life, but I didn't want to leave her alone anymore.
They were a hard 4,5 months because I went to an oncologist in the Netherlands, which is about 32 km (I think that's about 20 miles) from home.
But I did it with love, she was getting better, the cancer became smaller and she only was sick from the chemo once in all that time.
I gave her everything she needed, went for extra walks, short but nice walks.
I tried to show her all the love I had for her and she came to comfort me when I was sad..
She was my special girl, I got her when I was single so the first year of her life it was just her and me.
Then I met my ex-boyfriend and after a while we got another dog, my boy Darko and that was all fine for her because she knew she was my special lady.
After 5 years my relationship enden (he is still my best and only friend) and when Molly got sick he was always there for us, going with us to the vet, getting grosseries because I wasn't able to leave the house.
He still comes over every Friday evening because he knows that's the time it's the hardest (she went away on a Friday evening) and understands my grief, but he can't help me, I need someone who doesn't stand so close to me.
Does that make any sense?
My little Tessa is also a great lady, very clever and also very sensitive, she comes to comfort me when she sees or hears me cry.
She is realy great and thanks to her I started to build a new kind of routine, walking my dogs, training them.
But as you say, the first year is always the hardest.
The 20th of June is her birthday, the 23rd of June we got the news that she had cancer.
The 3rd of July we started chemo...
I tried to add a picture but apparently it didn't work.
I'll try again.
hi, make sure the photo isn't too large in size or weight and is a jpg, gif, bmp, or png file. suggested size is 640x480 and under 100k.
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. It is not surprising that you are finding this time difficult in your grief adjustment journey as you share with us "The 20th of June is her birthday, the 23rd of June we got the news that she had cancer. The 3rd of July we started chemo..." These dates are painful reminders of "this time last year" when your Anticipatory Grief journey began, which is a roller coaster ride all of its own. So I'm very glad you have found this wonderful forum where you can share with us whatever is in your heart and on your mind without fear of rejection - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.
I also am an introvert by nature, and through my life I have been ridiculed for being the individual I am - - hearing a lot of how I "should be" to be "acceptable" to other people's whims. Sadly, most people consider introverts to be social "rejects" instead of being "jewels" with diverse talents to be embraced given genuine encouragement. Consequently, I have found my relationships with my precious and beloved companions to be a source of comfort to me as they accept me for who I am. So I perfectly understand how you feel when you share with us "I am an introvert so I don't realy reach out to people in person, but behind my computer I feel more comfortable." I am glad you still have the support and friendship of your ex-boyfriend, particularly during this difficult time of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Molly.
I hope the Administrator's instructions of how to post a picture of your beloved Molly are helpful. If you continue to have difficulty, don't hesitate to e-mail him to ask for his assistance. We look forward to seeing a picture(s) of your beloved Molly whenever possible.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I also am an introvert by nature, and through my life I have been ridiculed for being the individual I am - - hearing a lot of how I "should be" to be "acceptable" to other people's whims. Sadly, most people consider introverts to be social "rejects" instead of being "jewels" with diverse talents to be embraced given genuine encouragement. Consequently, I have found my relationships with my precious and beloved companions to be a source of comfort to me as they accept me for who I am. So I perfectly understand how you feel when you share with us "I am an introvert so I don't realy reach out to people in person, but behind my computer I feel more comfortable." I am glad you still have the support and friendship of your ex-boyfriend, particularly during this difficult time of adjusting to the physical absence of your beloved Molly.
I hope the Administrator's instructions of how to post a picture of your beloved Molly are helpful. If you continue to have difficulty, don't hesitate to e-mail him to ask for his assistance. We look forward to seeing a picture(s) of your beloved Molly whenever possible.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Click to view attachment
Hello Moon Beam,
I think I finaly got it how to insert a picture.
This one is from the last time we went to the beach, about three weeks before I had to let her go.
It's been a hard weekend again, every Friday it kicks in and stays with me for the better part of the weekend.
Although I do enjoy enormously the Sunday mornings when I go to dogschool with my little Tessa.
I must say there are more and more moment on which it seems to be going a little better but then out of the blue it just hits me again.
Next Tuesday I have an appointment with my vet. He is just such wonderful person, a real specialist in the field of oncology for pets and a man with such big heart even he was crying when he had to put her to sleep.
He knows I'm still struggeling and he wants us to sit together and talk, he is just so understanding.
I never thought a vet would be so compasionate.
When he treated her he insisted on receiving at least one mail a day to his personal mail address to hear about her progress.
He really kept us both going and even now, after 7 months, he is still there for me, understanding how much I'm hurting.
So yeah, how crazy as it sounds, I don't talk to a psychiatrist, I go and talk to my vet.
It's also been very hard on my health, considering that I kept on working throughout, canceling my vacation (it was in the time she had her first course of chemo), I did it without hesitation, she was my priority and would do it all over again.
I didn' sleep one night through once she started chemo, every sigh I looked if everything was ok.
But then when she passed I could only afford to take a few days off (seeing that I'm independant) and kept on working.
Also after a few weeks Tessa came and a puppy prevents sleeping through the night for a week or two.
I am truly gratefull that you guys exist, I was really at the end of my ropes, not knowing who or what to turn to anymore.
Thank you...
If this picture succeeded many more wil follow.
(I had a small private photo shoot last summer early when I knew she was sick)
Have a nice Sunday evening
Fabienne
Hello Moon Beam,
I think I finaly got it how to insert a picture.
This one is from the last time we went to the beach, about three weeks before I had to let her go.
It's been a hard weekend again, every Friday it kicks in and stays with me for the better part of the weekend.
Although I do enjoy enormously the Sunday mornings when I go to dogschool with my little Tessa.
I must say there are more and more moment on which it seems to be going a little better but then out of the blue it just hits me again.
Next Tuesday I have an appointment with my vet. He is just such wonderful person, a real specialist in the field of oncology for pets and a man with such big heart even he was crying when he had to put her to sleep.
He knows I'm still struggeling and he wants us to sit together and talk, he is just so understanding.
I never thought a vet would be so compasionate.
When he treated her he insisted on receiving at least one mail a day to his personal mail address to hear about her progress.
He really kept us both going and even now, after 7 months, he is still there for me, understanding how much I'm hurting.
So yeah, how crazy as it sounds, I don't talk to a psychiatrist, I go and talk to my vet.
It's also been very hard on my health, considering that I kept on working throughout, canceling my vacation (it was in the time she had her first course of chemo), I did it without hesitation, she was my priority and would do it all over again.
I didn' sleep one night through once she started chemo, every sigh I looked if everything was ok.
But then when she passed I could only afford to take a few days off (seeing that I'm independant) and kept on working.
Also after a few weeks Tessa came and a puppy prevents sleeping through the night for a week or two.
I am truly gratefull that you guys exist, I was really at the end of my ropes, not knowing who or what to turn to anymore.
Thank you...
If this picture succeeded many more wil follow.
(I had a small private photo shoot last summer early when I knew she was sick)
Have a nice Sunday evening
Fabienne
Click to view attachment
Here's my most beautiful picture, it really shows her character.
Always happy, always smiling and always eager to do stuff together.
God how I miss that beautiful sweet face...
Here's my most beautiful picture, it really shows her character.
Always happy, always smiling and always eager to do stuff together.
God how I miss that beautiful sweet face...
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for this wonderful pictures of your beloved Molly. Looking at her sweet face and the expression in her eyes she knows she is loved, and you now have the honor of being her soul heir to her eternal love.
I am so glad you have your veterinary care provider to talk to, Fabienne. He sounds like a very compassionate man. He recognizes that his responsibility is not just to his four-footed clients but also to their human caregivers. Counseling for the physical loss of a beloved companion requires specialized training which most professional counselors do not take. While some counselors are compassionate to be able to offer comforting support and encouragement to someone who is grieving the physical loss of a beloved companion without the additional training, some counselors just don't understand the need. Your veterinary care provider understands the deep eternal love bond you and your beloved Molly have, and I'm so very glad you have him to comfort you in your grief adjustment journey.
I'm smiling at you and your precious Tessa taking schooling classes together. She sounds like a real sweetheart, and there is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Molly guided your path to that moment in time when you and Tessa would meet, and you would know it was the right time to embrace a new soul into your heart and home. May you and Tessa have a long, happy, healthy earthly journey together.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so glad you have your veterinary care provider to talk to, Fabienne. He sounds like a very compassionate man. He recognizes that his responsibility is not just to his four-footed clients but also to their human caregivers. Counseling for the physical loss of a beloved companion requires specialized training which most professional counselors do not take. While some counselors are compassionate to be able to offer comforting support and encouragement to someone who is grieving the physical loss of a beloved companion without the additional training, some counselors just don't understand the need. Your veterinary care provider understands the deep eternal love bond you and your beloved Molly have, and I'm so very glad you have him to comfort you in your grief adjustment journey.
I'm smiling at you and your precious Tessa taking schooling classes together. She sounds like a real sweetheart, and there is no doubt in my mind that your beloved Molly guided your path to that moment in time when you and Tessa would meet, and you would know it was the right time to embrace a new soul into your heart and home. May you and Tessa have a long, happy, healthy earthly journey together.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hello Moon Beam,
It is nice to read your messages at breakfast (I always turn in quite early, I like the mornings so I'm always up and about around 5 o'clock).
I had a fairly good day today and yesterday, it realy helps knowing there is someone who understands and who I can talk to and tell my story to.
Click to view attachment
I added a picture of Molly and Darko from last year, they were at the hair dressers that morning so they look very fluffy.
Two days later I learned that she had cancer...
It's hard getting through some days, when it seems that everywhere I look something reminds me of her, and the sad thing is that, for now, the sad memories provail over the good ones.
Although I often think of the good times too, it seems that the first ones that come to mind are the sad ones.
I know I'll get through this, and I will be able to remind the good ones rather than the bad, but it's just soo hard at times.
What you said about Molly guiding me in finding Tessa, that is so true!
The first puppies I visited didn't give me any vibe at all, they were lovely and sweet but it didn't feel right.
In the week that followed I was searching the net and all of a sudden I saw a picture and my heart skipped a beat, that look in her eyes was just like Molly had!
Don't get me wrong, I do not and did not want a replacement for Molly, that is impossible, but the feeling I got when I saw that picture.
Even her pose reminded me of Molly, as you can see.
Click to view attachment
Also she was the last girl of the bunch and no one wanted her, exept for one but the breeder didn't like them so he didn't want to sell her to them.
So when I went there, he introduced me to her brothers and to her and after a few minutes she came and sat at my feet as if she belonged there.
So yes, I do believe my sweet Molly had a hand or paw in this matter and I am eternaly gratefull for that, as I am for her loving company during those wonderfull 7 years.
So thank you for your support, you really are great.
Have a nice evening,
Fabienne
It is nice to read your messages at breakfast (I always turn in quite early, I like the mornings so I'm always up and about around 5 o'clock).
I had a fairly good day today and yesterday, it realy helps knowing there is someone who understands and who I can talk to and tell my story to.
Click to view attachment
I added a picture of Molly and Darko from last year, they were at the hair dressers that morning so they look very fluffy.
Two days later I learned that she had cancer...
It's hard getting through some days, when it seems that everywhere I look something reminds me of her, and the sad thing is that, for now, the sad memories provail over the good ones.
Although I often think of the good times too, it seems that the first ones that come to mind are the sad ones.
I know I'll get through this, and I will be able to remind the good ones rather than the bad, but it's just soo hard at times.
What you said about Molly guiding me in finding Tessa, that is so true!
The first puppies I visited didn't give me any vibe at all, they were lovely and sweet but it didn't feel right.
In the week that followed I was searching the net and all of a sudden I saw a picture and my heart skipped a beat, that look in her eyes was just like Molly had!
Don't get me wrong, I do not and did not want a replacement for Molly, that is impossible, but the feeling I got when I saw that picture.
Even her pose reminded me of Molly, as you can see.
Click to view attachment
Also she was the last girl of the bunch and no one wanted her, exept for one but the breeder didn't like them so he didn't want to sell her to them.
So when I went there, he introduced me to her brothers and to her and after a few minutes she came and sat at my feet as if she belonged there.
So yes, I do believe my sweet Molly had a hand or paw in this matter and I am eternaly gratefull for that, as I am for her loving company during those wonderfull 7 years.
So thank you for your support, you really are great.
Have a nice evening,
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and the wonderful picture of your beloved Molly with her housemate Darko. I'm so smiling at them getting their pictures taken after their grooming. And I know how each picture brings a new reminder of "when" you received the cancer diagnosis of your beloved Molly. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is very normal deep grief when you share with us "It's hard getting through some days, when it seems that everywhere I look something reminds me of her, and the sad thing is that, for now, the sad memories provail over the good ones. Although I often think of the good times too, it seems that the first ones that come to mind are the sad ones. I know I'll get through this, and I will be able to remind the good ones rather than the bad, but it's just soo hard at times." Even though your adjustment journey is 7 months in progress, you are still experiencing many "first without" events which continue to trigger the sad memories and the ongoing grief roller coaster of emotions. This grief journey can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. Please know we are here for you to share the not so bad days, the not so good days, and the days when it feels your heart is breaking under the burden of your deepest sorrow. We are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Fabienne,
I'm so very sorry about the physical loss of your precious Molly! There is nothing like this kind of pain, and I will NEVER understand why some people don't understand it!
I'm so glad you found this site (yes, thank God for the internet 
).
I feel that Molly definitely guided you to Tessa.
I'm so glad the breeder caught on to not let Tessa go with the other people. Tessa has hit the jackpot with you!
Your wonderful vet! He sounds like an angel. Will you talk with him tomorrow? I'm so very thankful that you have him there.
The pictures are lovely. I am glad you have your precious Darko and Tessa, and your cat, there with you. Molly is there too --- just not in her physical form that you can see and hug. She will always be your sweet daughter, and you will be fully reunited when it is your time. In the meantime, she is just fine, and in bliss.
I will check back here and will be thinking of you!
Sending prayers of peace and healing your way!
Kathy
I'm so very sorry about the physical loss of your precious Molly! There is nothing like this kind of pain, and I will NEVER understand why some people don't understand it!
I'm so glad you found this site (yes, thank God for the internet ). I feel that Molly definitely guided you to Tessa.
I'm so glad the breeder caught on to not let Tessa go with the other people. Tessa has hit the jackpot with you!Your wonderful vet!
He sounds like an angel. Will you talk with him tomorrow? I'm so very thankful that you have him there.The pictures are lovely. I am glad you have your precious Darko and Tessa, and your cat, there with you. Molly is there too --- just not in her physical form that you can see and hug. She will always be your sweet daughter, and you will be fully reunited when it is your time. In the meantime, she is just fine, and in bliss.
I will check back here and will be thinking of you!
Sending prayers of peace and healing your way!
Kathy
Goodmorning Kathy,
Thank you for your kind message.
It really means a lot to me seeing that I'm not alone in this terrible grief and that it's ok to feel the pain.
I indeed have a great vet, alltough he's not near where I live, I wouldn't want to go to anyone else.
Tonight I'm going to talk to him, I think it will do me some good talking the whole circle through once more.
Reading the messages here are also very helpfull and sometimes when it gets hard during the day I find comfort in reading them.
I'm going to start working now so I'm wishing you a very nice day.
I'll probably post some news tomorrow seeing that I will be talking to my vet tonight.
Kind greetings
Fabienne
Thank you for your kind message.
It really means a lot to me seeing that I'm not alone in this terrible grief and that it's ok to feel the pain.
I indeed have a great vet, alltough he's not near where I live, I wouldn't want to go to anyone else.
Tonight I'm going to talk to him, I think it will do me some good talking the whole circle through once more.
Reading the messages here are also very helpfull and sometimes when it gets hard during the day I find comfort in reading them.
I'm going to start working now so I'm wishing you a very nice day.
I'll probably post some news tomorrow seeing that I will be talking to my vet tonight.
Kind greetings
Fabienne
I will look forward to hearing how your talk with him went !
Will be thinking of you!!
Hugs your way,
Kathy
Will be thinking of you!!
Hugs your way,
Kathy
Hi, Fabienne, just adding my best wishes to our forum friend Kathy hoping that your meeting with your veterinary care provider went well. And I'm so very glad you are finding comfort, support, encouragement, and hope here as well as you travel your grief adjustment journey.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Goodmorning everyone,
Yesterday I went to the vet to talk about the loss of my Molly.
Although it was very hard and I cried a lot, it was a very good talk and I was very gratefull to him to have taken the time to listen and talk to me.
He pointed out that, altough she is gone, she still lives on in the things we do for the NKFD (that's a Dutch foundation for cancer in pets).
Also we would never have met and then we would never have known that this foundation existed.
He also said that he not often has the opportunity to treat dogs from wich the owners are so involved and go to such great lenghts to give their pet everything they can possibly need.
He reasured, once again, that there was nothing more we could have done for her and she got all the best care possible but often even that is not enough.
She died way too young, being only 7 years, and that is the biggest reason for my grief, we just didn't get the time together we deserved, we should have had at least another 5 years...
Johan, the vet, said he never saw such Groenendael, she was always happy and very friendly to everyone, even when she had to get several shots, she kept smiling and wagging her tail.
Even when the door to the exam room was a little bit open and she saw one of the other vets or assistants in the hall way, she just went over there and said hello.
In an odd way it gives me comfort that all of them, vets as well as assistants were very sad when Molly passed, after all, we had been there at least once or twice a week, some days even twice a day and the last week twice every day so we kind of got to know each other and bonded.
In every exam room there is a wall with pictures of the dogs and cats that were treated there, and my Molly is in the center of the wall of Johan's office and there she will remain.
He really had a soft spot for her and I will never forget how he cried when he had to put her down.
He told me that, whenever I needed to talk again, I could just call and we'd sit together and I could talk about her and how I miss her.
He totaly understands, seeing that my dogs are my family and I love them so much.
He too lost one of his dogs last February and it is still hard for him too.
He also said that, the size of my grief equals the love we had for each other and that it is quite normal to be hurting, even after 7 months.
After all, my whole world revolved around her once she got sick (before that too, but not so extreme), everything I did was for her, my day was divided in moments of giving medication, going for walks, hugging, making sure she had everything she needed.
Since she didn't realize most of the time she was sick she must of tought that I gone crazy and felt spoiled to pieces
And altough it gave me comfort talking to Johan, nothing takes away the pain I feel of not having her around anymore.
I know this pain will slowely become less overwhelming, and become just a part of me like breathing, for now it just kicks me in the head unexpected sometimes.
She will forever be in my heart.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Greetings
Fabienne
Yesterday I went to the vet to talk about the loss of my Molly.
Although it was very hard and I cried a lot, it was a very good talk and I was very gratefull to him to have taken the time to listen and talk to me.
He pointed out that, altough she is gone, she still lives on in the things we do for the NKFD (that's a Dutch foundation for cancer in pets).
Also we would never have met and then we would never have known that this foundation existed.
He also said that he not often has the opportunity to treat dogs from wich the owners are so involved and go to such great lenghts to give their pet everything they can possibly need.
He reasured, once again, that there was nothing more we could have done for her and she got all the best care possible but often even that is not enough.
She died way too young, being only 7 years, and that is the biggest reason for my grief, we just didn't get the time together we deserved, we should have had at least another 5 years...
Johan, the vet, said he never saw such Groenendael, she was always happy and very friendly to everyone, even when she had to get several shots, she kept smiling and wagging her tail.
Even when the door to the exam room was a little bit open and she saw one of the other vets or assistants in the hall way, she just went over there and said hello.
In an odd way it gives me comfort that all of them, vets as well as assistants were very sad when Molly passed, after all, we had been there at least once or twice a week, some days even twice a day and the last week twice every day so we kind of got to know each other and bonded.
In every exam room there is a wall with pictures of the dogs and cats that were treated there, and my Molly is in the center of the wall of Johan's office and there she will remain.
He really had a soft spot for her and I will never forget how he cried when he had to put her down.
He told me that, whenever I needed to talk again, I could just call and we'd sit together and I could talk about her and how I miss her.
He totaly understands, seeing that my dogs are my family and I love them so much.
He too lost one of his dogs last February and it is still hard for him too.
He also said that, the size of my grief equals the love we had for each other and that it is quite normal to be hurting, even after 7 months.
After all, my whole world revolved around her once she got sick (before that too, but not so extreme), everything I did was for her, my day was divided in moments of giving medication, going for walks, hugging, making sure she had everything she needed.
Since she didn't realize most of the time she was sick she must of tought that I gone crazy and felt spoiled to pieces
And altough it gave me comfort talking to Johan, nothing takes away the pain I feel of not having her around anymore.
I know this pain will slowely become less overwhelming, and become just a part of me like breathing, for now it just kicks me in the head unexpected sometimes.
She will forever be in my heart.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Greetings
Fabienne
Hi Fabienne,
I'm so glad that the visit with your caring vet was so comforting! And how wonderful that he said to get in touch any time you wanted to talk.
I understand about losing pets way too young -- my Dolly (kitty) was only 9 when I lost her to kidney failure in 2012. and my Mariah was only 3 when I lost her to pancreatitis in 1998. Heartreaking beyond what words can describe.
It makes sense that it would be comforting that the whole staff at your vet's was sad. They bonded with Molly and they continue to bond with you.
How special that the picture of your precious Molly hangs in the center on the wall !
Keep in touch. Continued prayers your way,
Kathy
I'm so glad that the visit with your caring vet was so comforting! And how wonderful that he said to get in touch any time you wanted to talk.
I understand about losing pets way too young -- my Dolly (kitty) was only 9 when I lost her to kidney failure in 2012.
and my Mariah was only 3 when I lost her to pancreatitis in 1998. Heartreaking beyond what words can describe.It makes sense that it would be comforting that the whole staff at your vet's was sad. They bonded with Molly and they continue to bond with you.
How special that the picture of your precious Molly hangs in the center on the wall !
Keep in touch. Continued prayers your way,
Kathy
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I just noticed the wonderful pictures of your new precious companion Tessa. She is indeed a real sweetheart, and it is so easy to see how she has already won a special place of her own in your heart.
I'm very glad your meeting with your veterinary care provider went well, and I'm glad you are continuing to have his support and encouragement as you travel your grief adjustment journey. Like you, and our forum friend Kathy, I can also truly relate to the deep sorrow of losing two feline companions at a very young age (both 6 years old) due to different cancers. It is always heartbreaking losing a companion - - for it really doesn't matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company it is never long enough - - for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime with them. The blessing is knowing that they are forever with us in our hearts both during their earthly journey and after they transition home to the angels.
I can so relate to your observation about this grief journey when you share with us "altough it gave me comfort talking to Johan, nothing takes away the pain I feel of not having her around anymore. I know this pain will slowely become less overwhelming, and become just a part of me like breathing, for now it just kicks me in the head unexpected sometimes." Just when we think we have "turned the corner" on our grief, when we think we have come through the worst of it, indeed "something" can happen - - we hear a song, remember a particular memory, etc., and it can feel as though we are transported back to that first moment in time when our beloved companion is no longer physically with us - - and our hearts are filled with enormous sorrow once again. So please know you are among friends here who truly do understand how you are feeling, and know that we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief journey.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, along with your precious Darko, Tessa, and other companions, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I'm very glad your meeting with your veterinary care provider went well, and I'm glad you are continuing to have his support and encouragement as you travel your grief adjustment journey. Like you, and our forum friend Kathy, I can also truly relate to the deep sorrow of losing two feline companions at a very young age (both 6 years old) due to different cancers. It is always heartbreaking losing a companion - - for it really doesn't matter how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company it is never long enough - - for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime with them. The blessing is knowing that they are forever with us in our hearts both during their earthly journey and after they transition home to the angels.
I can so relate to your observation about this grief journey when you share with us "altough it gave me comfort talking to Johan, nothing takes away the pain I feel of not having her around anymore. I know this pain will slowely become less overwhelming, and become just a part of me like breathing, for now it just kicks me in the head unexpected sometimes." Just when we think we have "turned the corner" on our grief, when we think we have come through the worst of it, indeed "something" can happen - - we hear a song, remember a particular memory, etc., and it can feel as though we are transported back to that first moment in time when our beloved companion is no longer physically with us - - and our hearts are filled with enormous sorrow once again. So please know you are among friends here who truly do understand how you are feeling, and know that we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief journey.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, along with your precious Darko, Tessa, and other companions, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi everyone,
I had a very hard and confusing day yesterday.
Altough Wednesday was a very nice day where I took a great walk with Tessa while Darko was in training and we enjoyed the beautiful weather, yesterday was quite the opposite.
Even though yesterday morning went very well, I worked for a few hours before having to go out to costumers.
Then my mother arrived (she's my dog sitter) and I left for my first costumer.
There everything still went great, I felt great, we had a few laughs and I started on my way to my doctors appointment before having to go to my other customers.
And then it happenend, while I was driving on the highway, it suddenly hit me that my face wasn't the last thing my sweet girl saw before she went, it was the face of my ex-boyfriend who was standing in front of her.
I was sitting behind her, wispering in her ear that it was all right to go to sleep now, that I would always love her and I was caressing her.
But still, I wasn't the one she saw when she closed her eyes (I'm crying again now I'm writing this down...) and I just started crying and screaming and got totaly hysteric about it.
It just hurt so much and I felt so sad and guilty and helpless because there is nothing I could do to change that, she didn' t see me when she passed.
One moment I just couldn't cope with the pain anymore and I called my ex, who told me to stop the car and try to calm down but I didn't have time, I had to be at the doctor and my customers...
And that's how all my grief has been, certainly when it comes during the week, I have to push it away because I need to work, I need to earn my money.
But the pain I felt yesterday seemed so much bigger then I've felt since the day she left, and altough it came to mind before that I wasn't standing in front of her, it never hit me this hard.
I just don't know what to do anymore to cope with this pain.
My doctor gave me the time to tell my story and cry and calm down a little, she understands how I feel, and she gave me a new remedy (she's a homeopathic doctor).
I just miss her so much and I just can't handle her not being with me and I feel guilty for a lot of things, although I shouldn't, but this is just eating me up, she didn't see me anymore...
I'm just so very lost...
I had a very hard and confusing day yesterday.
Altough Wednesday was a very nice day where I took a great walk with Tessa while Darko was in training and we enjoyed the beautiful weather, yesterday was quite the opposite.
Even though yesterday morning went very well, I worked for a few hours before having to go out to costumers.
Then my mother arrived (she's my dog sitter) and I left for my first costumer.
There everything still went great, I felt great, we had a few laughs and I started on my way to my doctors appointment before having to go to my other customers.
And then it happenend, while I was driving on the highway, it suddenly hit me that my face wasn't the last thing my sweet girl saw before she went, it was the face of my ex-boyfriend who was standing in front of her.
I was sitting behind her, wispering in her ear that it was all right to go to sleep now, that I would always love her and I was caressing her.
But still, I wasn't the one she saw when she closed her eyes (I'm crying again now I'm writing this down...) and I just started crying and screaming and got totaly hysteric about it.
It just hurt so much and I felt so sad and guilty and helpless because there is nothing I could do to change that, she didn' t see me when she passed.
One moment I just couldn't cope with the pain anymore and I called my ex, who told me to stop the car and try to calm down but I didn't have time, I had to be at the doctor and my customers...
And that's how all my grief has been, certainly when it comes during the week, I have to push it away because I need to work, I need to earn my money.
But the pain I felt yesterday seemed so much bigger then I've felt since the day she left, and altough it came to mind before that I wasn't standing in front of her, it never hit me this hard.
I just don't know what to do anymore to cope with this pain.
My doctor gave me the time to tell my story and cry and calm down a little, she understands how I feel, and she gave me a new remedy (she's a homeopathic doctor).
I just miss her so much and I just can't handle her not being with me and I feel guilty for a lot of things, although I shouldn't, but this is just eating me up, she didn't see me anymore...
I'm just so very lost...
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is a very normal part of this grief adjustment journey. It is not a straight line from A to Z but rather a journey of our hearts, and minds, reconciling the physical absence of our beloved companion on different levels at different times. Things that we thought were not significant at the moment they were happening can suddenly wrench our hearts into deep sorrow. Although you were not standing in front of your beloved Molly when she transitioned from this earthly realm, she felt your loving embrace and heard the sweet sound of your voice comforting her as her sweet Living Spirit joined the angels in eternal joy. Fabienne, I hope in time you will be able to find a peace in your heart that your beloved Molly didn't need to "see" you to know that you love her with all your heart, soul, and being - - she KNOWS that you love her, and her sweet Living Spirit is always a hearbeat close to YOU. And hopefully in time you will be able to find comfort in knowing that now from her heavenly realm she DOES see you - - her Forever Mom - -, and the sound of your voice is still like sweet music lifting upward to her in eternal joy.
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, along with your precious Darko, Tessa, and other companions, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you kindly, Fabienne, along with your precious Darko, Tessa, and other companions, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi everyone,
It's been a hard weekend.
Darko turned 6 Saterday and we had a nice day.
At night he started vomiting and I rushed to the vet because he really was very poorly
He had a fever but x - rays and urine check didn't reveal anything.
He got shots against vomiting an nausea.
Sunday he vomited once more and he ate just a little.
He only pooed after I took him for a little walk and it was hard, not his normal.
Today he didn't vomit but when he eats something he just starts druling heavily after a few minutes.
ya clear sign he nauseous.
The vet suggest ultrasound if he is not ok by Wednesday.
I m so scared, he has a predisposition for stomach cancer and there are signs pointing in that direction.
It was only a year ago twoo weeks from now that I got the diagnose for my Molly
I just couldn't cope going through this again, knowing I am going to loose him because it's a cancer that can't be healed.
I m slowely loosing every perspective.
I can't loose my sweet boy soo soon too, not again...
It's been a hard weekend.
Darko turned 6 Saterday and we had a nice day.
At night he started vomiting and I rushed to the vet because he really was very poorly
He had a fever but x - rays and urine check didn't reveal anything.
He got shots against vomiting an nausea.
Sunday he vomited once more and he ate just a little.
He only pooed after I took him for a little walk and it was hard, not his normal.
Today he didn't vomit but when he eats something he just starts druling heavily after a few minutes.
ya clear sign he nauseous.
The vet suggest ultrasound if he is not ok by Wednesday.
I m so scared, he has a predisposition for stomach cancer and there are signs pointing in that direction.
It was only a year ago twoo weeks from now that I got the diagnose for my Molly
I just couldn't cope going through this again, knowing I am going to loose him because it's a cancer that can't be healed.
I m slowely loosing every perspective.
I can't loose my sweet boy soo soon too, not again...
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you, and your precious Darko, are doing. I'm so very sorry he is not feeling well, and I can certainly understand your concerns. If you feel the need to have him undergo an ultrasound sooner than Wednesday, then I recommend you follow your intuitions. YOU know what is happening with your precious Darko because you are with him 24 / 7 whereas his veterinary medical providers are not. I know you are very worried about him, and rightfully so. Please know we are here for you, and your precious Darko.
Please know you and your precious Darko, and precious Tessa, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your precious Darko, and your precious Tessa, are doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Please know you and your precious Darko, and precious Tessa, are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your precious Darko, and your precious Tessa, are doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Fabienne,
I just saw your post about your precious Darko !
I agree with moon_beam about following your intuition.
This is so scary and I am sorry that you are having to go through this !!
I am praying that all will be well with your sweet boy. Please keep us posted.
Intense prayers coming your way!!
Kathy
I just saw your post about your precious Darko !
I agree with moon_beam about following your intuition.
This is so scary and I am sorry that you are having to go through this !!
I am praying that all will be well with your sweet boy. Please keep us posted.
Intense prayers coming your way!!
Kathy
QUOTE (Fabienne1970 @ Jun 13 2016, 02:19 PM) 
Hi everyone,
It's been a hard weekend.
Darko turned 6 Saterday and we had a nice day.
At night he started vomiting and I rushed to the vet because he really was very poorly
He had a fever but x - rays and urine check didn't reveal anything.
He got shots against vomiting an nausea.
Sunday he vomited once more and he ate just a little.
He only pooed after I took him for a little walk and it was hard, not his normal.
Today he didn't vomit but when he eats something he just starts druling heavily after a few minutes.
ya clear sign he nauseous.
The vet suggest ultrasound if he is not ok by Wednesday.
I m so scared, he has a predisposition for stomach cancer and there are signs pointing in that direction.
It was only a year ago twoo weeks from now that I got the diagnose for my Molly
I just couldn't cope going through this again, knowing I am going to loose him because it's a cancer that can't be healed.
I m slowely loosing every perspective.
I can't loose my sweet boy soo soon too, not again...
It's been a hard weekend.
Darko turned 6 Saterday and we had a nice day.
At night he started vomiting and I rushed to the vet because he really was very poorly
He had a fever but x - rays and urine check didn't reveal anything.
He got shots against vomiting an nausea.
Sunday he vomited once more and he ate just a little.
He only pooed after I took him for a little walk and it was hard, not his normal.
Today he didn't vomit but when he eats something he just starts druling heavily after a few minutes.
ya clear sign he nauseous.
The vet suggest ultrasound if he is not ok by Wednesday.
I m so scared, he has a predisposition for stomach cancer and there are signs pointing in that direction.
It was only a year ago twoo weeks from now that I got the diagnose for my Molly
I just couldn't cope going through this again, knowing I am going to loose him because it's a cancer that can't be healed.
I m slowely loosing every perspective.
I can't loose my sweet boy soo soon too, not again...
Hi everyone,
Thank you for your kind and supporting words.
In the mean time all is well with Darko again, he just needed a few days to get through this and now he is his old happy self so that is a great relief.
Since I feel that I don't seem to get a grip on my grief, and it even feels like it's getting harder and harder, I have an appointment with a psych tomorrow.
Hopefully we get along and I can get help there too.
I'm trying to keep an open mind, after all they aren't all the same, and I'll see what happens.
It's so confusing at times, and indeed I feel like grief puts on another mask every day since everything can change very fast from fairly happy to immense pain to not believing to just feeling so lost...
I must say, talking to you guys helps me through my most difficult moments, and your comments do me a world of good.
But I think it won't be a bad idea to try some professional help.
My appointment with my homeopath last week helped a lot to and the new remedy I'm taking seems to smooth out the most rough edges.
However, next Monday would have been her eight birthday and I just know that day will be hell.
As you say, it is always 'the first withouts' that make it hard.
I will honor her that day and even take at least half that day off so I can let everything come over me without having to push it away because I have to work.
This weekend I'm going to go out for with Tessa and Darko on a great walk and try to set my mind at ease so at least I can get some rest then.
Thank you again for your responses.
I'll keep you posted.
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
Thank you for your kind and supporting words.
In the mean time all is well with Darko again, he just needed a few days to get through this and now he is his old happy self so that is a great relief.
Since I feel that I don't seem to get a grip on my grief, and it even feels like it's getting harder and harder, I have an appointment with a psych tomorrow.
Hopefully we get along and I can get help there too.
I'm trying to keep an open mind, after all they aren't all the same, and I'll see what happens.
It's so confusing at times, and indeed I feel like grief puts on another mask every day since everything can change very fast from fairly happy to immense pain to not believing to just feeling so lost...
I must say, talking to you guys helps me through my most difficult moments, and your comments do me a world of good.
But I think it won't be a bad idea to try some professional help.
My appointment with my homeopath last week helped a lot to and the new remedy I'm taking seems to smooth out the most rough edges.
However, next Monday would have been her eight birthday and I just know that day will be hell.
As you say, it is always 'the first withouts' that make it hard.
I will honor her that day and even take at least half that day off so I can let everything come over me without having to push it away because I have to work.
This weekend I'm going to go out for with Tessa and Darko on a great walk and try to set my mind at ease so at least I can get some rest then.
Thank you again for your responses.
I'll keep you posted.
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. I'm so very glad your precious Darko is doing better. I know this takes a huge worry off your mind.
Seeking professional counseling is always a good idea when life's experiences become so overwhelming you find it difficult to cope. Many years ago for different traumatic reasons I also needed the assistance of professional counseling. Unfortunately the first counselor to whom I was referred was quite unsatisfactory and actually contributed additional trauma to what I was already dealing with. Thankfully I was able to have a referral to another counselor who compassionately helped me work through the effects of the traumatic event that permanently turned my life upside down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I hope the new counselor you will be seeing will be able to help you, Fabienne. Please let us know how you're doing - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.
The "angel-versaries" can be very difficult, so it is perfectly understandable that your beloved Molly's birthday would be especially difficult. I'm glad you will be able to take some time off that day just to spend it however you need to.
I hope you, Darko, and Tessa will enjoy your time together this weekend, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Seeking professional counseling is always a good idea when life's experiences become so overwhelming you find it difficult to cope. Many years ago for different traumatic reasons I also needed the assistance of professional counseling. Unfortunately the first counselor to whom I was referred was quite unsatisfactory and actually contributed additional trauma to what I was already dealing with. Thankfully I was able to have a referral to another counselor who compassionately helped me work through the effects of the traumatic event that permanently turned my life upside down physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I hope the new counselor you will be seeing will be able to help you, Fabienne. Please let us know how you're doing - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.
The "angel-versaries" can be very difficult, so it is perfectly understandable that your beloved Molly's birthday would be especially difficult. I'm glad you will be able to take some time off that day just to spend it however you need to.
I hope you, Darko, and Tessa will enjoy your time together this weekend, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi everyone,
I just got home from my appointment with the counselor.
It was a very nice lady and it was a very good talk but it was just an intake talk so now she has to present my case to the team and see how and who will be able to help me.
Whatever the outcome, there is no help to be expected soon, there is at least a half year waiting list...
Rediculous, how can they let anyone who is in need of support dangle for at least 6 months.
O well, I'm thankfull for you all, at least here I get support whenever I need it and there is always someone answering my messages.
You see, to get help in Belgium for this kind of problem is not a simple as it sounds.
Sending a bigg "thank you" hugg.
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
I just got home from my appointment with the counselor.
It was a very nice lady and it was a very good talk but it was just an intake talk so now she has to present my case to the team and see how and who will be able to help me.
Whatever the outcome, there is no help to be expected soon, there is at least a half year waiting list...
Rediculous, how can they let anyone who is in need of support dangle for at least 6 months.
O well, I'm thankfull for you all, at least here I get support whenever I need it and there is always someone answering my messages.
You see, to get help in Belgium for this kind of problem is not a simple as it sounds.
Sending a bigg "thank you" hugg.
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Does Belgium have a national health plan? Believe it or not even here in the United States a referral can take several weeks and months before a patient is seen by a specialist - - be it a doctor or counselor. So I fully empathize with your situation. Although we're not professional counselors, each of us have experienced the grief adjustment journey and know first hand how painful the journey is. So please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Fabienne, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Moon Beam,
Belgium has great health care and plan except for everything concerning psychiatric help.
That's not included for the simple reason it can't be proven or does not show on x-ray, blood tests etc.
How crazy is that.
It is indeed a great comfort being here with you all knowing and feeling you understand what I am going thru.
I'll keep you posted.
For now it is a bit hard being Friday evening again.
But it get better, slowly but steadely so...
Have a nice loving weekend with your loved ones.
Fabienne
Belgium has great health care and plan except for everything concerning psychiatric help.
That's not included for the simple reason it can't be proven or does not show on x-ray, blood tests etc.
How crazy is that.
It is indeed a great comfort being here with you all knowing and feeling you understand what I am going thru.
I'll keep you posted.
For now it is a bit hard being Friday evening again.
But it get better, slowly but steadely so...
Have a nice loving weekend with your loved ones.
Fabienne
Hi, Fabrienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Provision for mental health needs here in the U.S. is no better even with private health insurance. There is still a misguided perception - - both socially and professionally - - that people can control their mental illness and the best way to do that is to ignore it as though nothing is wrong. One of my nephews suffers terribly with schizophrenia paranoia, and sadly, my brother who has serious medical health problems of his own to deal with, is forced to continue to provide care for his adult son who becomes more agitated as he gets older, and more of a physical risk to his dad who my nephew has already assaulted on at least one occasion requiring police intervention. This country has done away with its residential provision for people like my nephew with the misguided thinking that he is better at large in the community than in a structured safe environment - - both for himself as well as his dad and family, and the other residents of his community. Also, my nephew has the legal "right" to refuse care / services including taking his medications because the law cannot compel anyone to accept care / services as doing so is a violation of their civil rights.
I know your situation is thankfully far better than my nephew's, but your needs to have professional counseling are still as vital as his. I hope you will be able to receive the counseling you need sooner than later, Fabienne. Please let us know how things go, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I know your situation is thankfully far better than my nephew's, but your needs to have professional counseling are still as vital as his. I hope you will be able to receive the counseling you need sooner than later, Fabienne. Please let us know how things go, and please know we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Moon Beam,
Sorry to hear about your nephew, it must be hard seeing someone you love selfdestruct like that and not being able to help.
This is better over here, once you seem to be a danger to yourself or the community you are commited to a psychiatric hospital where you are treated (wether you want to or not).
That is also included in our health system.
It's more the "minor" problems that aren't (burn-out, depression...) recognised.
Today is my girl's eight birthday and she's not here with me to celebrate, I'm so lost, been up since 3 this morning because she wandered into my mind and wouldn't go away.
I am working for the moment but at noon I stop and take the time to remenice and look at pictures and allow myself to grieve for my baby.
I know things will get less painfull once a year has gone by but for now I know there are so many steps to take for the first time without her by my side.
Thank you for being there for me, it helps me a lot.
Click to view attachment
Here's another picture of her and me from the photo shoot we had shortly after she was diagnosed.
She looked just so very happy...
It's just so very unfair..
Kind greetings
Fabienne
Sorry to hear about your nephew, it must be hard seeing someone you love selfdestruct like that and not being able to help.
This is better over here, once you seem to be a danger to yourself or the community you are commited to a psychiatric hospital where you are treated (wether you want to or not).
That is also included in our health system.
It's more the "minor" problems that aren't (burn-out, depression...) recognised.
Today is my girl's eight birthday and she's not here with me to celebrate, I'm so lost, been up since 3 this morning because she wandered into my mind and wouldn't go away.
I am working for the moment but at noon I stop and take the time to remenice and look at pictures and allow myself to grieve for my baby.
I know things will get less painfull once a year has gone by but for now I know there are so many steps to take for the first time without her by my side.
Thank you for being there for me, it helps me a lot.
Click to view attachment
Here's another picture of her and me from the photo shoot we had shortly after she was diagnosed.
She looked just so very happy...
It's just so very unfair..
Kind greetings
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of you and your beloved Molly. I'm so glad you are being able to take time off from work to give yourself the opportunity you need to grieve on this angel-versary of your beloved Molly's birthday. I do so understand how you're feeling when you share with us "It's just so very unfair." It doesn't matter how much tiime we have with our companions for we will always want just one more minute, one more hour, one more day, one more lifetime with them. Thankfully we have the hope of being reunited with them in eternal joy when it is our appropriate time - - and then there will be no more separations to endure. For us as we continue our earthly journey the physical separation from our beloved companions feels like an eternity for sure. But we are blessed with their sweet Living Spirit to comfort us with the reassurance that they are always and forever a heartbeat close to us. I hope in some way this also brings comfort to you, Fabienne.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi everyone,
It's been a week since I last posted how I felt but I was going through a rough time and could not realy find the words.
Last Monday on her 8th birthday I mourned and took the time to alow myself too.
But then on Tuesday Darko didn't seem to be himself, he acted different and it worried me.
So I went to the vet who said it could be just a little stress because he needed to adjust to being with my ex during the weekend (we are trying to get him used to that because he can't go with me when I go on vacation).
But now since yesterday it's been going even worse so tonight I have another apointment with my vet for a thourough check up, blood tests and eventualy an ultrasound.
He has the tendency to go lie somewhere by himself, is not really responsive to things he normaly likes, he seems too quet...
These are all signs that Molly showed last year so you can image me being quite upset.
I hope we'll know more tonight and it's just an infection of some sort or some minor problem.
Anyway, it wasn't a good week and I seem to feel more and more exhausted, I'm counting the days for my vacation but I dread it too because, in the worst case scenario that Darko is really ill, I'll probably have to cancel my vacation again this year.
And I really don't know how to cope another year without any time for myself to get better and to go through the same ordeal with my sweet boy as last year with my darling Molly...
Hope to be able to post some better news next time.
Kind greetings from Belgium
Fabienne
It's been a week since I last posted how I felt but I was going through a rough time and could not realy find the words.
Last Monday on her 8th birthday I mourned and took the time to alow myself too.
But then on Tuesday Darko didn't seem to be himself, he acted different and it worried me.
So I went to the vet who said it could be just a little stress because he needed to adjust to being with my ex during the weekend (we are trying to get him used to that because he can't go with me when I go on vacation).
But now since yesterday it's been going even worse so tonight I have another apointment with my vet for a thourough check up, blood tests and eventualy an ultrasound.
He has the tendency to go lie somewhere by himself, is not really responsive to things he normaly likes, he seems too quet...
These are all signs that Molly showed last year so you can image me being quite upset.
I hope we'll know more tonight and it's just an infection of some sort or some minor problem.
Anyway, it wasn't a good week and I seem to feel more and more exhausted, I'm counting the days for my vacation but I dread it too because, in the worst case scenario that Darko is really ill, I'll probably have to cancel my vacation again this year.
And I really don't know how to cope another year without any time for myself to get better and to go through the same ordeal with my sweet boy as last year with my darling Molly...
Hope to be able to post some better news next time.
Kind greetings from Belgium
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how you, and your precious Darko, are doing. I'm so sorry he isn't feeling well, and it is perfectly understandable how upsetting this is for you - - at any time - - and especially so soon after the physical loss of your beloved Molly. Please know your precious Darko, and you, are in my thoughts and prayers that his veterinary practitioner will be able to find out what the problem is and offer treatment that will help him, and you, to feel better. Please let us know how things go.
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is a very normal part of this grief journey when you share with us "I seem to feel more and more exhausted." Grieving takes an enormous amount of energy, so it is perfectly understandable that you are feeling exhausted. It is important that you find time to rest as much as possible so that you can "recharge" your energy levels and immune system.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Please let me try to reassure you that what you are feeling is a very normal part of this grief journey when you share with us "I seem to feel more and more exhausted." Grieving takes an enormous amount of energy, so it is perfectly understandable that you are feeling exhausted. It is important that you find time to rest as much as possible so that you can "recharge" your energy levels and immune system.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Went to the vet yesterday evening, took X-rays and blood but nothing came up in there.
However, he did feel something in his stomach so today we have an appointment for ultrasound.
I'm so nervous and anxious, my sweet baby boy...
I do so hope that all will be well and I was just worrying for nothing.
These are very stressfull hours, we have to be there by 11:15 to that's another 3 hours of stress.
I started working this morning at 5:30 and the most urgent matters were finished so now I'm going to snuggle up with my babies on the sofa and just enjoy these moments.
I'll keep you posted.
Fabienne
However, he did feel something in his stomach so today we have an appointment for ultrasound.
I'm so nervous and anxious, my sweet baby boy...
I do so hope that all will be well and I was just worrying for nothing.
These are very stressfull hours, we have to be there by 11:15 to that's another 3 hours of stress.
I started working this morning at 5:30 and the most urgent matters were finished so now I'm going to snuggle up with my babies on the sofa and just enjoy these moments.
I'll keep you posted.
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so much for sharing with us how your precious Darko, and you, are doing. I can feel your apprehension about today's ultrasound. Hopefully - - if there is something discovered - - your precious Darko's veterinary practitioner will be able to help him feel better. Please know you and your precious boy are in my thoughts and prayers, and look forward to sharing your news as to how things go today.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko and Tessa kindly, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hello Moon Beam,
Very good news! No tumor to be found, so not cancer at all!
I was so relieved I just started crying, and the vet and the doctor who did the ultrasound were so happy too, knowing that exactly a year ago I was there with Molly..
The issues he has will most probably have to do with his stress, he doesn't seem to be able to relax at all.
So I was refered to a vet specialised in behaviour issues so she can try to determine why he is so tense all the time and once we know that we can start working to solve that problem.
I'm glad we know how to proceed and I'll make an appointment with her after my vacation, since he'll be having some stress while I'm away anyway so better to start when everything turns back to normal for him.
It's good to have some nice news for once, it did me a lot of good, it's as if now I know it's not always bad when you have to see the vet.
And, believe it or not, it's as if my cat became jealous of all the attention and doctors visits, he started vommiting last night and kept me up most of the night because of it.
So, that means, another appointment tonight to go with my cat this time...
Sometimes I wonder if this cycle will ever end..
But for now, I'm doing quite fine, and I've learnt that I have to take it step by step and enjoy the moments in which I feel fine and accept the ones where I don't and allow myself to feel that way.
Thank you Moon Beam,
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
Very good news! No tumor to be found, so not cancer at all!
I was so relieved I just started crying, and the vet and the doctor who did the ultrasound were so happy too, knowing that exactly a year ago I was there with Molly..
The issues he has will most probably have to do with his stress, he doesn't seem to be able to relax at all.
So I was refered to a vet specialised in behaviour issues so she can try to determine why he is so tense all the time and once we know that we can start working to solve that problem.
I'm glad we know how to proceed and I'll make an appointment with her after my vacation, since he'll be having some stress while I'm away anyway so better to start when everything turns back to normal for him.
It's good to have some nice news for once, it did me a lot of good, it's as if now I know it's not always bad when you have to see the vet.
And, believe it or not, it's as if my cat became jealous of all the attention and doctors visits, he started vommiting last night and kept me up most of the night because of it.
So, that means, another appointment tonight to go with my cat this time...
Sometimes I wonder if this cycle will ever end..
But for now, I'm doing quite fine, and I've learnt that I have to take it step by step and enjoy the moments in which I feel fine and accept the ones where I don't and allow myself to feel that way.
Thank you Moon Beam,
Have a nice day,
Fabienne
Hi, Fabienne, thank you so very much for sharing with us how your precious Darko, and you are doing. I'm ecstatic in the very good news that no tumors were found during the ultrasound. I can soooo understand the total emotional relief you felt when you received the good news. I am keeping your precious Darko in my thoughts and prayers that the specialist will be able to help him with his stress. Please let us know how he's doing, and how things go with him.
There is a saying "When it rain it pours" and it certainly sounds like you are having a deluge with your precious cat now needing to see the doctor. I am keeping your precious kitty, and you, in my thoughts and prayers that whatever the problem may be it is easily taken care of. Please let us know how things go with your kitty.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko, Tessa, and kitty kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
There is a saying "When it rain it pours" and it certainly sounds like you are having a deluge with your precious cat now needing to see the doctor. I am keeping your precious kitty, and you, in my thoughts and prayers that whatever the problem may be it is easily taken care of. Please let us know how things go with your kitty.
I hope today is treating you and your precious Darko, Tessa, and kitty kindly, Fabienne, and that you will have peaceful evenings blessed with your beloved Molly's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.