Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum and have really been needing some support. My boy Magic is 17 years old (we adopted him at 6 weeks) and has basically stopped eating. He was diagnosed w/ diabetes & kidney disease over 4 years ago and overall, has done pretty well. We noticed a change in his behavior a couple of months ago and he seems to be going downhill quickly. This is SO stressful. I feel guilty about not being a perfect cat mom but I know I've given him a lot of love over the years. How my day goes now is based on how he is doing. When he eats, I have a good day.

I know the time for Magic to move on is drawing near. I cry off and on during the day but I know the big flood is yet to come. It's so hard to imagine life without him. He is the sweetest and most mellow cat I've ever known. He is very affectionate and sometimes seems more like a dog than a cat.

I am scared and on an emotional rollercoaster. I am trying to keep it together at work, but it's hard. I just started a new job. I don't have children, so my pets are my kids.

If anyone can relate or has any suggestions, I would really appreciate hearing back. Thank you so much for listening.

Hi, catgal, please permit me to offer you my sincerest empathies in the medical crisis of your precious Magic. What you are experiencing is very normal, and it has a name: it is called Anticipatory Grief. This journey is a roller coaster ride all of its own for you know your and your precious Magic's earthly journey is coming to an end, yet your heart cannot cannot help but hope for a miracle to happen that will restore your precious Magic's health so that you can have more time together. Contrary to what our society tries to convince us otherwise -- there really is no way that we can ever "prepare" ourselves for the inevitable physical separation from our loved ones - - INCLUDING our precious companions.

I do have a question for you: Have you taken your precious Magic in for a health status check recently, and if so, do you feel comfortable with the advice your veterinary care provider is giving you? Sadly, once our companion's appetite fails and they stop eating, this does usually mean that they have begun their transition journey from their physical body. At some point in time you may want to ease your precious Magic's transition journey home to the angels, but only you can make this decision.

I do so know from first hand experience how painful the Anticipatory Grief journey is. Just like the inevitable grief adjustment journey, the only way to navigate the Anticipatory Grief journey is one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, spending as much time you and your precious Magic can together.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Magic kindly, catgal, and that you will have a very peaceful evening together. Please know you and your precious Magic are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Im sorry your Kitty has lost his appetite. 17 years is a long time to have had him by your side.
My cat was only 10 when she passed away.

From when I found out she had heart disease to when she passed was only 2 weeks!

Her appetite went, and she stopped drinking water as well. I know what you mean when you say your day is good or bad based
on his appetite. I to have been through the same as you.

It is heart breaking seeing your sweet cat in decline. I broke down in front of my boss in un uncontrollable sob.
I am a walking Post lady in New Zealand, and the amount of times I was out there sobbing while I delivered the mail was countless.
The only thing that got me out of bed was having to go to work.

I still have belts of sadness and crying even after a month. I am reading different posts here and they have helped knowing that
others have gone or are going through it.

I often wonder what life is all about when we have to see our furry babies go. I live alone too, and my beautiful girl Gizmo was like
my child also.

I have to say that seeing her in decline over the two weeks was just as bad as when she had passed. I think that you have already started
to grieve once you know they are on their way out.

Im still paying off my credit card from all the vet bills - but she was worth it, and I would of payed ten times over if I had to do it again.

Give Magic lots of cuddles even though you are sad.

Teresa