I spent 15 years living in no-pets apartment complexes. A little over a year ago, I finally bought a house. I debated and debated getting a pet. (I'm never one to make decisions lightly, 15 years to get a house after all!) This past August, I finally went to the local Humane Society and adopted a four month old cat. It seemed like the easiest adjustment for my little guy, he seemed to think I was his mommy from the moment I brought him home. I struggled with my allergies, as I knew I would, but he was such an affectionate little lover, that every hive, every wheeze, every swollen eye was worth it. (I knew, eventually, I would become tolerant of the allergy to him, and within three weeks I was able to start tapering off the allergy meds.)

He really was the perfect match for me. I'd always thought black cats were so beautiful. And he was mine, from the minute I laid eyes on him, banging against his cage in the shelter to get my attention. He was the most pituful little thing, all full of dandruff, eyes weeping from an infection, sneezing all over the place, scratching his ears from the mites. But I fell in love with him from the moment I first held him. They assured me at the shelter that he would get over all the little ailments once he was out of the mutiple-cat environment.

And he did. His dandruff was gone in a day, though trips to the vet, or visits from children would set it off again. Everything else cleared up as well, even his very itch ears. The shelter hadn't nuetered him, like they said they had. So I had it done Oct 12th this year.

Tesla just never seemed to recover. He'd never been a huge eater, but it seemed to slow quite a bit. The weekend after the surgery he stopped eating all together, and only drank minimal water. I took him back to the vet Monday morning, and he'd gone from 6.4 pounds to 5.8. He had a fever of 103. The vet kept him a couple of nights, gave him fluids, antibiotics, and a shot to reduce the fever. He ate a little better at the vet's, and drank well. But when he came home, he stopped eating again, and drank very little. I tried every food I could think of, dry food, wet food, mashed food, his favote 'no-no' foods, cream, even baby-food. He started throwing-up, and was still loosing weight. The vet changed his anti-biotic, since the one he was on sometimes made cats sick to their stomaches. After two days on the new med, he was still throwing up, barely drinking, and would gag the minute I tried to put food on his tongue.

This past Tuesday we went back to the vet for the last time. He was diagnosed with FIP, Feline Infectious Peritonitus. It wasn't a terrible surprise. The vet had mentioned it as a possibility on Saturday, so I looked it up. My little Tesla had so many of the symptoms, including a swelling tummy from fluid build-up. Tuesday he started to seem like he was in a lot of pain, I held him all morning, and he couldn't get comfortable; he just cried and cried. FIP is fatal. And my Tesla was so sick. We had to put him to sleep Tuesday evening.

It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I never understood before, how much pain is involved in loosing a pet. I'd only had Tesla for three months, but I loved that little cat so, so much.

I lost my cat of 15 years but 3 months doesn't hurt any less when you love someone. I am so sorry for your loss. You gave that little guy a wonderful few months full of love and I'm sure that he is more grateful than you know. He had you, all to himself and found a warm, loving home for his last 3 months on earth. You did so much for him just by loving him (let alone taking care of him as well as you did). Know that your little one is no longer suffering and that you gave him the greatest gift you could have.....your love.

Take care and hang in there,
Kristie

Oh gosh, Denise, I am so sorry about Tesia. She was really beautiful. I know your heart is breaking. Please know and remember that had it not been for you, Tesia probably would not have had three months on this earth. You and Tesia did meet each other for some very special reason, I believe. Because of you, Tesia was loved and taken good care of. Tesia got to have a life, even tho it was so short, she got to have a life where she was beloved. (Please read Miss Mew's post entitled "Beloved" in this forum.)
Take care, Denise. Again, I am so sorry.

Tesla was a beautiful little furry boy. I am so sorry you lost him. He looks a lot like my Edgar - and you are right, black cats DO have a beautiful look to them.

Three months is NOT a long time - but it's long enough to fall in love. And since his whole life with you wasn't a lot longer, it's the most important three months Tesla had. And during those three months he had someone to love him, treat him like their own, and someone who took him into their heart.

Tesla isn't really gone - he's just around the next corner. You and I just haven't walked quite far enough yet to catch up.

HUGS

Denise!

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your precious Tesla. It DOES sound like a match made in heaven. I get the definite sense that you 2 were destined to be together, like a soulmate bond. And now that Tesla is all-spirit, he's right around you, in a blissful realm where I believe there's no concept of time or space.

What a wonderfully special Mom you are. And when it's your time, you and Tesla will be fully reunited. In the meantime, Tesla wants you to be okay and to have faith.

I hope you write some more. I'm glad you're here. Sending you prayers of comfort and peace,

Kathy

Oh what a beautiful baby your Tesla was and such a pretty name, he knows you took such great care of him. I am sorry you lost him but it is good to hear that you filled his life with love and he brought you so much joy. As far as the no no foods I do the same thing with my Snookie but when we are desperate for them to eat we will try anything. My heart is with you.
Ann

Thank you everyone for your support. I've been fortunate to have friends around me who are all pet lovers, and who have all lost pets so they understand what I feel. I just think about him all the time. And I just want tot alk about him all the time too. Sometimes I find myself talking things Tesla does, as if he was still here. Then I catch myself, and remember he's not.

I like the thought of him still being here, sometimes I want to put my hand down just to see if he'll nuzzle it.

People keep telling me that eventually I should get another cat. But I don't see how I could ever bear that. Or ever love another cat so well.

DENISE,
I AM GOING THRU THE SAME THING, MY BLK LAB MOOSE WAS HIT BY A CAR 3 WKS AGO, IT WAS MY WORST FEAR COME TRUE, IT BROKE HIS BACK, THROUGH HIS SCREEMS WE GOT HIM ON A BLANKET AND TO THE VET, THE NEXT DAY THEY SAID THEY HAD TO PUT HIM DOWN. HE HAS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND FOR TEN YEARS, MY PAIN SOMEDAYS IS JUST UNBARABLE, I AM SO LONLEY WITHOUT HIM. MY MORNINGS START WITH TEARS BECAUSE I WAKE UP AND KNOW HE IS NOT THERE, YOU SEE HE WAS MY CUDDLE BUG AND I COULD'NT HAVE LOVED HIM MORE IF HE WE'RE MY OWN CHILD. IT HAS BEEN A ROUGH 5YRS FOR ME, MY FAMILY WAS MY CAT OF 16 YRS, SHE ONLY HAD ONE EYE AND NO TEETH, SHE WAS MY COMFORTER, I HAD TO HAVE HER PUT DOWN 3YRS AGO ALONG WITH MY DAD'S POODLE SPIKE WHOM HE LEFT IN MY CARE WHEN HE DIED, SO MY DOG MOOSE AND I CONTINUED ON.....UNTIL OCT 15. I REALLY CANT IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM, I CANT EVEN GET INTO MY CAR WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN CAUSE HE IS SOPPOSE TO BE THERE. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I HURT TOO SO SO SO BAD. PAMELA

I am sorry for your loss. It doesn't matter how long we have our fur-friends. It is never long enough.

Awesome name, by the way.

dee dee

Dear Denise:

I am soooooo sorry, Denise. Please.....accept my condolences for the passing of your sweet, beautiful furkitty,
Tesla.......
And, please accept my apologies............I never saw your post, which is why I didn't answer it.....
I am sorry.....
Perhaps at that time in November, I wasn't feeling well........and, hadn't gone into my computer.....

Though you and your precious Tesla didn't have much time together here on Earth.....You saved this beautiful
fur-kitty from living in the Humane Society....

From what is "supposed to be a routine procedure, it really goes to show all of us that with any type of
surgery, there is always a risk"!!

How have you been getting along?? I was happy to read your post of 11/6/2004 @ 10:34am, where you said that
you have friends who are pet-lovers and understand what you are going through....
I think that having people in your life who understand does help...

After reading your post, and knowing that your Tesla has only been at Rainbow's Bridge since 11/2/2004.......I want to
make sure that you are doing well.....

You are in my thoughts!!

Peace & Love,

Denise