Hello Members,
When I'm writing this thread all my physical and mental strength is almost dried out. The devil of guiltiness, the yelling of puppy all these succumbed my mind.

2 days back when i was returning to home in my bike a puppy ran across the street when the puppy's owner came at the other end of the road. he ran to reach his owner when i accidentally hit it with my bike.
I have not drove over the puppy but something so strong hit its head i think, i suddenly stopped the bike after realizing the situation and ran to it, it was yelling so loudly and i tried to take it to hospital but the puppy's owners not allowed me. as i live in India many people do not think taking dog to hospital as a necessity but luxury.

helpless'y i waited there and it yelled for sometime i saw little blood in its throat but no injury can be seen in its head or other parts of its body.
after some time it stood up and walked into its owner's home.

without knowing what to do, i returned to bike and started to drive to home.
from that moment the memories are just killing me like hell. the moment i hit the dog it just keeps buzzing on my mind, the yelling of that beautiful puppy keeps coming to my mind.
the same night i went to that puppy's home to inquire if he is okay but no one is there.

next day the dogs owner was there but im very afraid to ask to him, because if he tells something bad about that puppy i felt that i could not bear the pain.

I want to recover from all these pain but i couldn't, i don't know how long this will affect me i feel very weak mentally and physically. I have pet of my own and i love him so much. After this incident whenever i saw my pet (his name is bruno) that puppy's memories are occupying me.

Please tell something that can help me recover.

Hi, prakash, please permit me to try to offer you some words of comfort, support, and encouragement as you cope with this traumatic event.

First and foremost, prakash, what happened here is entirely an accident. Both you and the puppy just happened to be in the wrong place (or right place) at the wrong time. The fact that you stopped to try to offer help is a credit to your genuine heart - - not many people would do that - - not even here in the United States. It is sad that the puppy's caregivers did not accept your gracious offer to take their puppy for emergency veterinary care. When they refused, YOUR responsibility ended, although the trauma of the event still remains in your heart and mind.

Throughout my life I, too, have experienced close encounters on the road with both domestic and wildlife critters who have run out in front of me. Because of traffic situations there were times when I had no choice but to hit them, and my heart and a part of me would die knowing that I was responsible for either seriously injuring or killing an innocent creature.

Clinical studies show that, when a person experiences a traumatic event, the event literally becomes imprinted in the memory, and the brain continuously replays that event in an attempt to try to make some sense out of what happened and reconcile the pain. Examples of this are people who have survived traumatic events such as the events of Pearl Harbor, war veterans, earthquakes, tsunamis, tornadoes, - - and hitting innocent creatures who cross the road in front of us at the very moment when we can do nothing to avoid them.

The good news is that, with time, the deep pain of the trauma does ease. Many years ago I experienced a very traumatic event that totally changed my life, and one which I needed professional counseling to help me deal with the lifetime effects of PTSD and Survior's Guilt. One thing he taught me about dealing with the flashbacks was very helpful. It took a concerted effort on my part to make it work: When you begin to recalll the accident, force yourself to think of something else more positive - - such as focusing on your precious Bruno. This won't take the memory away from you, but it will help you to desensitize yourself from the torture of the memory.

One of the many emotions we feel when we have experienced a traumatic event is guilt / remorse - - even when the circumstances are truly not of our choosing. Please believe me when I share with you that you are not to blame for what happened to the puppy. And I know the puppy would not want you to blame yourself, either - - nor would he want what happened with him to in any way detract from the loving relationship you have with your precious Bruno. What happened was entirely an accident.

I know sometimes there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the deep sorrow that is our hearts. I can only hope that somehow you will find some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope in the words I share with you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Bruno kindly, prakash. Please know you are among friends here who do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you and your precious Bruno are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam