I have never been here before but I needed someone to tell my story to. I had a wonderful loving old friend, whom I had to put to sleep last night. My old girl, Akasha was 15 years old and has seen me through so much. She was a wonderful cat and took such good care of me. She was always there for me when I was sick or upset...she always knew when something was wrong. When I was pregnant with my son she slept beside me every night, always checking to make sure that I was ok. And now she is gone and I don't know what to do.
Akasha had terrible arthritis in her back legs and as of two weeks ago she could barely walk. She began to lose bladder control around the same time and began unirnating all over the house. I put her out on to the enclosed patio yesterday, she loved it out there where she could watch the birds in the backyard, and when I came home from an errand she had peed everywhere including herself. She seemed bright and quite happy but when I went in to clean her up I noticed blood in her urine and feces everywhere. I took her to the vet last night and they told me that her kidneys had failed, her legs were gone, her hair was falling out...it was time. They said that she probably wasn't in any pain...she seemed quite content, so it was better to put her down now before she began to suffer too much.
I miss my cat. Things aren't the same with her gone. I have two other cats who know something is up....the one has been with Akasha for his whole life and now I'm afraid that his health will take a down-turn as he grieves for his sister.
I haven't stopped crying since it happened...I can't even get myself together enough to play with my baby boy. I am so sad without her...she made such a difference in my life.
I just wanted it in writing. I love my cat Akasha. She was wonderful in life and I will remember her with all my love forever.

Thanks for listening
Kristie

Hello Kristie

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Sounds like Akasha and you had a wonderful life together. You've found a good place to come and talk with others that are or have suffered through this terrible ordeal. It's sooooo difficult to lose our buddies no matter if it is age related or an accident. Take care of yourself and family in this time of grief. The tears you are shedding are healing tears. Time will ease the pain you are suffering.

Dear Kristie,

I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty, Akasha. You did the right thing for her and she had a great life with you. You both were lucky to have each other to share your lives with. Just know that she is happy now.

Vicki (Stymy's Mom)

Dear Kristie:

Please accept my sincere condolences for the loss of your beloved Akasha.
I do understand the pain, the lonliness and the sadness that you are feeling, etc., etc.... There are soooooo many more emotions that you will go through, after losing such a close furbaby....

If you had to find a pet-grief site, Kristie, I am very happy that you found your way here, to Lightning-Strike. There
will be many people who will answer your post, and grieve with you -- also, give you helpful advice....

You gave your sweet Akasha a very, very unselfish gift, by having her put to sleep....
You helped her do, what she couldn't do on her own.

I know that it has only been 2 short days since your beloved Akasha has been gone ---- I was just wondering,
how are you doing now??

I have heard it said that "for every year you own "a pet", it takes one full month per year "to get over" the pain."
I'm not sure that we "ever really get over it".........but, I can assure you with all honesty that "it really, really does
get easier".
The pain you are feeling won't always feel "this raw".

Our Ernestine was put to sleep on February 7, 2004......at the age of 19 years and 10 months....
In the beginning, I just couldn't do anything..... Thank you God that I found this site in the early morning hours
of 2/8/2004........I don't know what I would have done......

I came here, and I just kept writing, writing and rambling....... I wasn't sure that I was making sense to anyone;
but all of the kind people that wrote back to me, they "understood" everything that I was saying....
Because, they had all been through this pain......Or, they had just lost one of their furkids, and were going through
this pain with me....

I will forever be grateful to this site!

Your middle paragraph REALLY tells me just how "bad off" your sweet Akasha was becoming.... And, it is very, very painful to watch. I am happy that you were strong enough to help her pass on; it was very, very brave of you
and I know that Akasha would thank you!

Do you have family/friends, etc....., who could come by and take care of your little boy, while you have an hour or two
a day, to yourself............to just rest, grieve, cry????

If not, please do come here often..........and just talk and talk, to get all of this pain off of your chest......
Will you do that?????

Your other two kitties, of course they will feel sad without their sister/housemate..... Animals "can feel" too...

(As you could tell when Akasha used to come up to you when you were upset or sick --- our sweet furbabies "just
seem to know".....)
What a gift that is!!!!
I'm sure that Akasha would be very sad knowing THAT YOU ARE SOOO SAD!!!!

She doesn't want her mommy to be sad.....

That's just how our furkids are.... Even in death, A LOVE THAT STRONG....THAT BOND.... IT CAN NEVER BE BROKEN!!!!

Right now, Akasha is up at Rainbow's Bridge....... It's a place where all animals go when their time here on earth is
all over........
All of our furkids that are up at Rainbow's Bridge..........they have brand new bodies, where they are not in any more
pain........
Akasha doesn't have arthritis in her legs anymore, and she is running free through the grassy, meadows...
She is just perfect now.....
She has lots of new friends to play with, and there are never ending bowls of crunchies and full bowls of water..

The greatest thing that we have are memories........And, THEY CAN NEVER BE TAKEN AWAY!!!!!!
THEY ARE YOURS TO KEEP...

As Gort said,
That is very, very true.....

And, one day......out of no-where....you will be thinking of your girl with happy and fun memories.... And, you'll
find that your eyes might still be moist......, but.....you'll be smiling..... That will happen, I assure you!!

Take Good Care, my new friend....

Love, Denise

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I am so glad that I found this website. I have been reading other posts and have been touched by so many stories...thank you for taking the time to read Akasha's.

We burried her last night....it was so hard. However, the night was lovely and warm and there was a beautiful lunar eclipse, it was a nice night for her.

After we came inside and the strangest thing happened. I sat down on the couch, still crying, when my (now) oldest cat came up to me to say hello. He is a scaredy-cat and NEVER jumps into anyone's lap but last night, for some reason he jumped into mine. It was EXACTALLY what Akasha would have done had she still been here. He lay down and started to purr like mad...looking up at me with so much concern in his eyes. It's almost like he's taken over my care now that Kash is gone. I'm so lucky to have him and the kitten.

Thank you again for the kind words...I know I will be alright. I just had no idea how much of a hole would be left when she was gone.

You are wonderful people...Kristie

Dear Kristie,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Akasha. She sounds like a wonderful kitty and friend. How lucky you both were to have had each other for 15 years! At some point you'll find comfort in all your fond memories of Akasha, but for now, surround yourself with the love of your other two kitties...you'll be amazed at how comforting they can be. Since Shiloh's passing, my 3 kitties have followed me everywhere...I think they understand how much I'm hurting and want to help me feel better.

Take care,
Kathleen