When I was in 4th grade I got my dog Sassy. She was an abanoned puppy my parents and I rescued. When we first got her she was scared and would growl and bite and did not want to be bothered, but as time went on she grew fond of us and became a part of our family. She had her own personality and yes, she had some issues with protecting herself probably because of her past, but she loved us and was so loyal to me and my family. She has been through so much with me. From being in elementary school to me moving away and going to college, she has been a wonderful part of my life for 11 years and so many memories have been created.
This past week has been a rough one for me. This past Wednesday my mom called me telling me Sassy had to go to the vet because she was sick and throwing up. The day before she was perfectly fine playing with my other dog and her toys but that night things changed. My mom woke up in the morning and saw my other dog sitting by the closet wagging her tail and all of a sudden she heard Sassy bark but it sounded raspy coming from inside her closet. She never went into the closet which made it odd and my mom realized something was wrong. When she got her to come out she ran into the the other room and drank a whole bowl of water which caused her to throw up after. My dad drove her to the vetas soon as it opened that morning. Later on the veterinarian called my mom and told her that Sassy had some bladder issues which could either be solved or could be the opposite and not be fixed at all. He told her h would call her first thing the next morning after he took blood tests. I cried all night inside my dorm and I hoped and prayed so hard that she would be okay.
The next day my mom called me and told me she had good news. The veterinarian said her condition was not life threatening and that he had seen dogs in worse conditions. However, he said she had a lot of other little problems with her health but that he would help her gain her health back. He told my mom it was her bladder and kidneys which was why she got sick. He said he was going to put her on some antibiotics and she would come home in a couple of days fine. Before all of this at home, Sassy always had to go pee. She would bark to go out, come back in, and 10 minutes later have to go out and pee again. My parents had taken her to the vet a few months back and they had said she had a bladder infection but they gave her antibiotics and a week later we took her back for a check up and they said she was fine. But even when they said she was fine, she was still barking to go outside every ten minutes. We thought she was fine so we figured she was mentally used to having to go pee because of the bladder infection that she used to have so she didnt really have to go now, but just thought she did. We were wrong. And that is what hurts me the most.
Friday I went home to keep my other dog company because she was not taking Sassy being gone very well. I told her that she was coming home and I promised my parents I would come home the following weekend again to see Sassy. That afternoon the veterinarian called. I heard the crying in my mom's voice from the other room which was when I realized what was going to happen. When she got off the phone she cried to me how the vetrinarian told her Sassy was not responding to antibitotics and her condition was getting worse and that his best suggestion was to put her down so she wouldnt suffer. We cried together as a family and I told my mom I had to go see her. My mom could not go because she did not want to have her last memory of her in pain at the vet's office. She said it would be too hard for her and she would not get over it. But I knew I had to say goodbye. When I went to the vet, they brought me into this room and they brought Sassy in on a towel. She looked at me with her ears up but was not even jumping or excited to see me. I know she was probably on meds to help the pain she was feeling which was part of the reason she was not her jumpy self, but when I looked into her eyes I saw how sick she was. The veterinarian came in and told me what had happened. He said that they thought she would be okay because dogs that had worse conditions took the same antibiotics and recovered. Sassy was one of the very few who turned the other way. He explained that her kidneys were failing slowly and painfully. I asked him if there was any other thing he thought I could do to save her and he said that we could try other antibiotics but the ones he gave her were already the best ones for her condition. I could tell in his voice that he knew she would not get better no matter what we did. I asked him, "Is she suffering right now?" And he responnded, "Yes she's definitely suffering. She doesn't feel good at all." The look on his face was so sad and real I knew I had only one option which was to let her go, because I loved her so so so much and could never let her suffer. I cried my eyes out and sat with her, petting her head and talking to her. I talked about all of our memories, and told her she was a good girl because at home being called a "good girl" was the absolute best thing she could be called. She stared at me the whole time and at times when I said certain things her little ears perked up. But the whole time she was looking at me I felt like she was trying to tell me how sick she felt. She kept looking at me and shutting her eyes but as soon as I said her name she would look at me again. I gave her kisses on her forehead which she would never let me do at home. When I would visit her at my parents' house she would always growl if I got too much in her face so I never really could say a full goodbye when I had to leave. But at the vet's office, I got the one kiss that meant so much. I gave her a big kiss on her nose and she stuck out her tongue and licked her nose. That is one thing I'll never forget.
Before the veterinarian came in I sat there making myself think she looked like she was getting better. Her nose was burning hot and her eyes were extremely glossy but I couldnt face reality. When the veterinarian came back in after my alone time with her, he looked at her and a tear dropped down from his face. I knew at that time that what mine and my family's decision was, was what was needed to be done no matter how bad I felt. I looked at his face and knew that if he had any way to help her, he would.
I stood there petting her head telling her how much I loved her and how much of a good girl she was. When he first started the process, she jerked and showed her teeth to him. That was when I broke down crying for him to stop because I thought it was hurting her. As he proceeded, she turned her face over to me and slowly rested her head down into my hands until she was gone. I sat there crying and my best friend who had been with me hugged me and told me she was not in pain and in a better place now. I don't even remember what was running through my mind but I knew that was it. I could not get over the fact that she growled and my best friend gave me a hug and said "Don't be sad, she left showing her full personality one last time. That was her number one trait- growling!" And it was true she growled at everyone that got too close and always reacted like that when she got her shots. She was one sassy dog, hence the name, Sassy.
When I got back to my parents's house my mom was in tears and my other little dog ran up to me sniffing me and wagging her tail because she could smell Sassy's scent on me. It broke my heart even more because Sassy would never be home for her to play with and be partners in crime with again. I cried so hard all night and ended up going back to my dorms because the feeling of being in my home without her was unbearable. That night I
did not sleep. I cried and kept picturing her with me, smelling her scent. I had to work the next day and I was even crying at work. Last night my mom called me and told me the veterinarian had called her. He asked her how we were doing and told her that he had looked over her blood test again. He explained to my mom the reason she was not recovering from the antibiotics was because she had a low blood count. He said that all of the signs were there and that it looks like she was headed for leukemia. After my mom called, I felt somewhat better. I knew she would never have to experience the pain of such a horrible disease that she was headed for. But then I kept thinking why? Why did she have to go through this? Was there anything I should have or could have done differently? For the past two nights, I have been sad. I feel guilty and I keep feeling like I betrayed her and hurt her when I should have protected her like she did for me. The tears keep falling and I feel as if I won't ever fully recover. I miss her so much and just knowing I'll never see her again kills me. I keep asking myself what if? What if we had taken her to the vet sooner? But we did and we truly thought she was okay because they had said she was the first time she had the infection. What if I was home more and not away at school? I feel as if I let her down. But then I look at everything we've been through as a family and all the funny things she used to do and we would do. I am scared to go home to see my parents in a house without her. I don't know how I will react. People keep telling me she is in no pain now and she's happy and she knows me and my parents love her, but I feel as though I don't have the reassurance. I keep calling my mom crying and she tells me how Sassy would not want me to be this way, depressed. And its true, she was one of those dogs that hated to see us hurt. Even if she growled at me a lot I knew she loved me and would protect me any day if I needed her to. I also feel as though I'm traumatized having flash backs of what I saw. But then I remind myself that being there was not for me, but for her. She entered this world with no one there and I would never let her leave without the love she deserved. I love her so much and I want to be happy, but I feel like I can't fully be happy without knowing that she is okay. I have so many mixed feelings but the guilt is weighing down the hardest on me.
I'll never forget her and all the times we shared. All of the times she would run down the hall, or come into my room randomly bark at me like she was telling me off. Or all of the times she attacked the window when the mailman came and how she followed my mom everywhere she went like her little sidekick. I'll never forget the weird noises she made and her growling at me when I tried putting my face near hers and all the times she used to steal all the bones from my other dog and run around in the yard without a problem in the world. I'll never forget the time I took her on her first walk and she got out of the leash and ran all the way home crossing EVERY crosswalk safely with me chasing after her, and the time she jumped into the front seat of my car when I picked her up from the groomers sitting in my lap awkwardly with her paws on the steering wheel. All of her energy, all of her grumpiness, all of the funny things she did, but most of all, I'll never forget the love she created for me to feel.
RIP Sassy. I'll love you forever <3
January 2000-March 11, 2011
Full Version: I Miss Her So Much.
QUOTE (Animall0ver91 @ Mar 14 2011, 04:32 AM) 
When I was in 4th grade I got my dog Sassy. She was an abanoned puppy my parents and I rescued. When we first got her she was scared and would growl and bite and did not want to be bothered, but as time went on she grew fond of us and became a part of our family. She had her own personality and yes, she had some issues with protecting herself probably because of her past, but she loved us and was so loyal to me and my family. She has been through so much with me. From being in elementary school to me moving away and going to college, she has been a wonderful part of my life for 11 years and so many memories have been created.
This past week has been a rough one for me. This past Wednesday my mom called me telling me Sassy had to go to the vet because she was sick and throwing up. The day before she was perfectly fine playing with my other dog and her toys but that night things changed. My mom woke up in the morning and saw my other dog sitting by the closet wagging her tail and all of a sudden she heard Sassy bark but it sounded raspy coming from inside her closet. She never went into the closet which made it odd and my mom realized something was wrong. When she got her to come out she ran into the the other room and drank a whole bowl of water which caused her to throw up after. My dad drove her to the vetas soon as it opened that morning. Later on the veterinarian called my mom and told her that Sassy had some bladder issues which could either be solved or could be the opposite and not be fixed at all. He told her h would call her first thing the next morning after he took blood tests. I cried all night inside my dorm and I hoped and prayed so hard that she would be okay.
The next day my mom called me and told me she had good news. The veterinarian said her condition was not life threatening and that he had seen dogs in worse conditions. However, he said she had a lot of other little problems with her health but that he would help her gain her health back. He told my mom it was her bladder and kidneys which was why she got sick. He said he was going to put her on some antibiotics and she would come home in a couple of days fine. Before all of this at home, Sassy always had to go pee. She would bark to go out, come back in, and 10 minutes later have to go out and pee again. My parents had taken her to the vet a few months back and they had said she had a bladder infection but they gave her antibiotics and a week later we took her back for a check up and they said she was fine. But even when they said she was fine, she was still barking to go outside every ten minutes. We thought she was fine so we figured she was mentally used to having to go pee because of the bladder infection that she used to have so she didnt really have to go now, but just thought she did. We were wrong. And that is what hurts me the most.
Friday I went home to keep my other dog company because she was not taking Sassy being gone very well. I told her that she was coming home and I promised my parents I would come home the following weekend again to see Sassy. That afternoon the veterinarian called. I heard the crying in my mom's voice from the other room which was when I realized what was going to happen. When she got off the phone she cried to me how the vetrinarian told her Sassy was not responding to antibitotics and her condition was getting worse and that his best suggestion was to put her down so she wouldnt suffer. We cried together as a family and I told my mom I had to go see her. My mom could not go because she did not want to have her last memory of her in pain at the vet's office. She said it would be too hard for her and she would not get over it. But I knew I had to say goodbye. When I went to the vet, they brought me into this room and they brought Sassy in on a towel. She looked at me with her ears up but was not even jumping or excited to see me. I know she was probably on meds to help the pain she was feeling which was part of the reason she was not her jumpy self, but when I looked into her eyes I saw how sick she was. The veterinarian came in and told me what had happened. He said that they thought she would be okay because dogs that had worse conditions took the same antibiotics and recovered. Sassy was one of the very few who turned the other way. He explained that her kidneys were failing slowly and painfully. I asked him if there was any other thing he thought I could do to save her and he said that we could try other antibiotics but the ones he gave her were already the best ones for her condition. I could tell in his voice that he knew she would not get better no matter what we did. I asked him, "Is she suffering right now?" And he responnded, "Yes she's definitely suffering. She doesn't feel good at all." The look on his face was so sad and real I knew I had only one option which was to let her go, because I loved her so so so much and could never let her suffer. I cried my eyes out and sat with her, petting her head and talking to her. I talked about all of our memories, and told her she was a good girl because at home being called a "good girl" was the absolute best thing she could be called. She stared at me the whole time and at times when I said certain things her little ears perked up. But the whole time she was looking at me I felt like she was trying to tell me how sick she felt. She kept looking at me and shutting her eyes but as soon as I said her name she would look at me again. I gave her kisses on her forehead which she would never let me do at home. When I would visit her at my parents' house she would always growl if I got too much in her face so I never really could say a full goodbye when I had to leave. But at the vet's office, I got the one kiss that meant so much. I gave her a big kiss on her nose and she stuck out her tongue and licked her nose. That is one thing I'll never forget.
Before the veterinarian came in I sat there making myself think she looked like she was getting better. Her nose was burning hot and her eyes were extremely glossy but I couldnt face reality. When the veterinarian came back in after my alone time with her, he looked at her and a tear dropped down from his face. I knew at that time that what mine and my family's decision was, was what was needed to be done no matter how bad I felt. I looked at his face and knew that if he had any way to help her, he would.
I stood there petting her head telling her how much I loved her and how much of a good girl she was. When he first started the process, she jerked and showed her teeth to him. That was when I broke down crying for him to stop because I thought it was hurting her. As he proceeded, she turned her face over to me and slowly rested her head down into my hands until she was gone. I sat there crying and my best friend who had been with me hugged me and told me she was not in pain and in a better place now. I don't even remember what was running through my mind but I knew that was it. I could not get over the fact that she growled and my best friend gave me a hug and said "Don't be sad, she left showing her full personality one last time. That was her number one trait- growling!" And it was true she growled at everyone that got too close and always reacted like that when she got her shots. She was one sassy dog, hence the name, Sassy.
When I got back to my parents's house my mom was in tears and my other little dog ran up to me sniffing me and wagging her tail because she could smell Sassy's scent on me. It broke my heart even more because Sassy would never be home for her to play with and be partners in crime with again. I cried so hard all night and ended up going back to my dorms because the feeling of being in my home without her was unbearable. That night I
did not sleep. I cried and kept picturing her with me, smelling her scent. I had to work the next day and I was even crying at work. Last night my mom called me and told me the veterinarian had called her. He asked her how we were doing and told her that he had looked over her blood test again. He explained to my mom the reason she was not recovering from the antibiotics was because she had a low blood count. He said that all of the signs were there and that it looks like she was headed for leukemia. After my mom called, I felt somewhat better. I knew she would never have to experience the pain of such a horrible disease that she was headed for. But then I kept thinking why? Why did she have to go through this? Was there anything I should have or could have done differently? For the past two nights, I have been sad. I feel guilty and I keep feeling like I betrayed her and hurt her when I should have protected her like she did for me. The tears keep falling and I feel as if I won't ever fully recover. I miss her so much and just knowing I'll never see her again kills me. I keep asking myself what if? What if we had taken her to the vet sooner? But we did and we truly thought she was okay because they had said she was the first time she had the infection. What if I was home more and not away at school? I feel as if I let her down. But then I look at everything we've been through as a family and all the funny things she used to do and we would do. I am scared to go home to see my parents in a house without her. I don't know how I will react. People keep telling me she is in no pain now and she's happy and she knows me and my parents love her, but I feel as though I don't have the reassurance. I keep calling my mom crying and she tells me how Sassy would not want me to be this way, depressed. And its true, she was one of those dogs that hated to see us hurt. Even if she growled at me a lot I knew she loved me and would protect me any day if I needed her to. I also feel as though I'm traumatized having flash backs of what I saw. But then I remind myself that being there was not for me, but for her. She entered this world with no one there and I would never let her leave without the love she deserved. I love her so much and I want to be happy, but I feel like I can't fully be happy without knowing that she is okay. I have so many mixed feelings but the guilt is weighing down the hardest on me.
I'll never forget her and all the times we shared. All of the times she would run down the hall, or come into my room randomly bark at me like she was telling me off. Or all of the times she attacked the window when the mailman came and how she followed my mom everywhere she went like her little sidekick. I'll never forget the weird noises she made and her growling at me when I tried putting my face near hers and all the times she used to steal all the bones from my other dog and run around in the yard without a problem in the world. I'll never forget the time I took her on her first walk and she got out of the leash and ran all the way home crossing EVERY crosswalk safely with me chasing after her, and the time she jumped into the front seat of my car when I picked her up from the groomers sitting in my lap awkwardly with her paws on the steering wheel. All of her energy, all of her grumpiness, all of the funny things she did, but most of all, I'll never forget the love she created for me to feel.
RIP Sassy. I'll love you forever <3
January 2000-March 11, 2011
This past week has been a rough one for me. This past Wednesday my mom called me telling me Sassy had to go to the vet because she was sick and throwing up. The day before she was perfectly fine playing with my other dog and her toys but that night things changed. My mom woke up in the morning and saw my other dog sitting by the closet wagging her tail and all of a sudden she heard Sassy bark but it sounded raspy coming from inside her closet. She never went into the closet which made it odd and my mom realized something was wrong. When she got her to come out she ran into the the other room and drank a whole bowl of water which caused her to throw up after. My dad drove her to the vetas soon as it opened that morning. Later on the veterinarian called my mom and told her that Sassy had some bladder issues which could either be solved or could be the opposite and not be fixed at all. He told her h would call her first thing the next morning after he took blood tests. I cried all night inside my dorm and I hoped and prayed so hard that she would be okay.
The next day my mom called me and told me she had good news. The veterinarian said her condition was not life threatening and that he had seen dogs in worse conditions. However, he said she had a lot of other little problems with her health but that he would help her gain her health back. He told my mom it was her bladder and kidneys which was why she got sick. He said he was going to put her on some antibiotics and she would come home in a couple of days fine. Before all of this at home, Sassy always had to go pee. She would bark to go out, come back in, and 10 minutes later have to go out and pee again. My parents had taken her to the vet a few months back and they had said she had a bladder infection but they gave her antibiotics and a week later we took her back for a check up and they said she was fine. But even when they said she was fine, she was still barking to go outside every ten minutes. We thought she was fine so we figured she was mentally used to having to go pee because of the bladder infection that she used to have so she didnt really have to go now, but just thought she did. We were wrong. And that is what hurts me the most.
Friday I went home to keep my other dog company because she was not taking Sassy being gone very well. I told her that she was coming home and I promised my parents I would come home the following weekend again to see Sassy. That afternoon the veterinarian called. I heard the crying in my mom's voice from the other room which was when I realized what was going to happen. When she got off the phone she cried to me how the vetrinarian told her Sassy was not responding to antibitotics and her condition was getting worse and that his best suggestion was to put her down so she wouldnt suffer. We cried together as a family and I told my mom I had to go see her. My mom could not go because she did not want to have her last memory of her in pain at the vet's office. She said it would be too hard for her and she would not get over it. But I knew I had to say goodbye. When I went to the vet, they brought me into this room and they brought Sassy in on a towel. She looked at me with her ears up but was not even jumping or excited to see me. I know she was probably on meds to help the pain she was feeling which was part of the reason she was not her jumpy self, but when I looked into her eyes I saw how sick she was. The veterinarian came in and told me what had happened. He said that they thought she would be okay because dogs that had worse conditions took the same antibiotics and recovered. Sassy was one of the very few who turned the other way. He explained that her kidneys were failing slowly and painfully. I asked him if there was any other thing he thought I could do to save her and he said that we could try other antibiotics but the ones he gave her were already the best ones for her condition. I could tell in his voice that he knew she would not get better no matter what we did. I asked him, "Is she suffering right now?" And he responnded, "Yes she's definitely suffering. She doesn't feel good at all." The look on his face was so sad and real I knew I had only one option which was to let her go, because I loved her so so so much and could never let her suffer. I cried my eyes out and sat with her, petting her head and talking to her. I talked about all of our memories, and told her she was a good girl because at home being called a "good girl" was the absolute best thing she could be called. She stared at me the whole time and at times when I said certain things her little ears perked up. But the whole time she was looking at me I felt like she was trying to tell me how sick she felt. She kept looking at me and shutting her eyes but as soon as I said her name she would look at me again. I gave her kisses on her forehead which she would never let me do at home. When I would visit her at my parents' house she would always growl if I got too much in her face so I never really could say a full goodbye when I had to leave. But at the vet's office, I got the one kiss that meant so much. I gave her a big kiss on her nose and she stuck out her tongue and licked her nose. That is one thing I'll never forget.
Before the veterinarian came in I sat there making myself think she looked like she was getting better. Her nose was burning hot and her eyes were extremely glossy but I couldnt face reality. When the veterinarian came back in after my alone time with her, he looked at her and a tear dropped down from his face. I knew at that time that what mine and my family's decision was, was what was needed to be done no matter how bad I felt. I looked at his face and knew that if he had any way to help her, he would.
I stood there petting her head telling her how much I loved her and how much of a good girl she was. When he first started the process, she jerked and showed her teeth to him. That was when I broke down crying for him to stop because I thought it was hurting her. As he proceeded, she turned her face over to me and slowly rested her head down into my hands until she was gone. I sat there crying and my best friend who had been with me hugged me and told me she was not in pain and in a better place now. I don't even remember what was running through my mind but I knew that was it. I could not get over the fact that she growled and my best friend gave me a hug and said "Don't be sad, she left showing her full personality one last time. That was her number one trait- growling!" And it was true she growled at everyone that got too close and always reacted like that when she got her shots. She was one sassy dog, hence the name, Sassy.
When I got back to my parents's house my mom was in tears and my other little dog ran up to me sniffing me and wagging her tail because she could smell Sassy's scent on me. It broke my heart even more because Sassy would never be home for her to play with and be partners in crime with again. I cried so hard all night and ended up going back to my dorms because the feeling of being in my home without her was unbearable. That night I
did not sleep. I cried and kept picturing her with me, smelling her scent. I had to work the next day and I was even crying at work. Last night my mom called me and told me the veterinarian had called her. He asked her how we were doing and told her that he had looked over her blood test again. He explained to my mom the reason she was not recovering from the antibiotics was because she had a low blood count. He said that all of the signs were there and that it looks like she was headed for leukemia. After my mom called, I felt somewhat better. I knew she would never have to experience the pain of such a horrible disease that she was headed for. But then I kept thinking why? Why did she have to go through this? Was there anything I should have or could have done differently? For the past two nights, I have been sad. I feel guilty and I keep feeling like I betrayed her and hurt her when I should have protected her like she did for me. The tears keep falling and I feel as if I won't ever fully recover. I miss her so much and just knowing I'll never see her again kills me. I keep asking myself what if? What if we had taken her to the vet sooner? But we did and we truly thought she was okay because they had said she was the first time she had the infection. What if I was home more and not away at school? I feel as if I let her down. But then I look at everything we've been through as a family and all the funny things she used to do and we would do. I am scared to go home to see my parents in a house without her. I don't know how I will react. People keep telling me she is in no pain now and she's happy and she knows me and my parents love her, but I feel as though I don't have the reassurance. I keep calling my mom crying and she tells me how Sassy would not want me to be this way, depressed. And its true, she was one of those dogs that hated to see us hurt. Even if she growled at me a lot I knew she loved me and would protect me any day if I needed her to. I also feel as though I'm traumatized having flash backs of what I saw. But then I remind myself that being there was not for me, but for her. She entered this world with no one there and I would never let her leave without the love she deserved. I love her so much and I want to be happy, but I feel like I can't fully be happy without knowing that she is okay. I have so many mixed feelings but the guilt is weighing down the hardest on me.
I'll never forget her and all the times we shared. All of the times she would run down the hall, or come into my room randomly bark at me like she was telling me off. Or all of the times she attacked the window when the mailman came and how she followed my mom everywhere she went like her little sidekick. I'll never forget the weird noises she made and her growling at me when I tried putting my face near hers and all the times she used to steal all the bones from my other dog and run around in the yard without a problem in the world. I'll never forget the time I took her on her first walk and she got out of the leash and ran all the way home crossing EVERY crosswalk safely with me chasing after her, and the time she jumped into the front seat of my car when I picked her up from the groomers sitting in my lap awkwardly with her paws on the steering wheel. All of her energy, all of her grumpiness, all of the funny things she did, but most of all, I'll never forget the love she created for me to feel.
RIP Sassy. I'll love you forever <3
January 2000-March 11, 2011
Dear Animall0ver91,
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved Sassy. I lost my beautiful Peggy 2 weeks ago and am still crying when nobody's around. I think it's wonderful that you were with her when she passed. I was with Peggy and also had to make the decision to end her suffering so I know how difficult that can be. I also know what it's like to keep bringing your loved one to the vet and have them unable to figure out the true root cause of an issue. However, you did everything in your power to ensure she was well cared for. It's not reasonable to think your expertise are more extensive than the Dr's and if they couldn't find the problem sooner, there is no possile way you could have, so please try to release the guilt. You did everything possible to keep her healthy and happy and it sounds like she knew that. The fact that she allowed you to kiss her nose for the first time suggests she realized it was time to go and she wanted you to know how much she loved and trusted you. Based on her past, she was not a dog that trusted easily so showing you how much she trusted you before she passed shows that she knew you only had her best interest at heart - and you were strong enough to not allow her to pass alone, which she clearly appreciated.
I know how difficult this time is and I wish I could tell you how to make it easier, but I'm still trying to figure that out myself. Just know that she's in a better place and out of pain. Happily growling at every opportunity and I'm sure, missing you. You are not alone and you and Sassy will be in my prayers.
Take care,
Peggy
Hi, AnimalLover, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Sassy. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can once again be healed to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
AnimalLover, this grief journey is filled with so many different emotions that can be overwhelming all at one time, and unfortunately, guilt is one of these emotions. Although normal, it is one of the hardest grief emotions to reconcile. Guilt is a product of the hindsight - - the "what ifs" "why didn't I's" "why did I" "if onlys" and on and on and on. Unfortunately we do not have the gift of foreknowledge, only the "wisdom" of hindsight. Neither are we omnipotent. We can only make decisions to the best of our ability based on the information we have at any given time, particularly information provided to us by professionals - - such as our beloved companions' physicians. Hopefully as the deep grief eases, AnimalLover, you will come to realize that you did the very best for your Sassy at all times and in all circumstances, and equally important, that you will know your precious Sassy is eternally grateful to you for being with her and for giving her the gift of the human voice she loved so much to hear as she left her earthly journey to meet the angels. There is no greater love than this, AnimalLover, and this kind of love is eternal.
AnimalLover, many people think that suppressing the pain of grief makes the grief journey easier to bear, but clinical studies show that suppressed grief eventually causes both medical and emotional challenges. So, please do not feel embarrassed by your tears, or fearful of how easily they flow. This is normal -- it is NOT depression. It is very healthy, for they are truly healing tears. And yes, going home again may be difficult knowing that your precious Sassy's physical presence is no longer there, but her sweet Living Spirit is still there, as it is with you now at college. She is with you wherever you go and whatever you do, she is always a heartbeat close to you. Her presence with you is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space, AnimalLover.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Sassy with us, AnimalLover. She truly is a sweetie. Please know you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, AnimalLover, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
AnimalLover, this grief journey is filled with so many different emotions that can be overwhelming all at one time, and unfortunately, guilt is one of these emotions. Although normal, it is one of the hardest grief emotions to reconcile. Guilt is a product of the hindsight - - the "what ifs" "why didn't I's" "why did I" "if onlys" and on and on and on. Unfortunately we do not have the gift of foreknowledge, only the "wisdom" of hindsight. Neither are we omnipotent. We can only make decisions to the best of our ability based on the information we have at any given time, particularly information provided to us by professionals - - such as our beloved companions' physicians. Hopefully as the deep grief eases, AnimalLover, you will come to realize that you did the very best for your Sassy at all times and in all circumstances, and equally important, that you will know your precious Sassy is eternally grateful to you for being with her and for giving her the gift of the human voice she loved so much to hear as she left her earthly journey to meet the angels. There is no greater love than this, AnimalLover, and this kind of love is eternal.
AnimalLover, many people think that suppressing the pain of grief makes the grief journey easier to bear, but clinical studies show that suppressed grief eventually causes both medical and emotional challenges. So, please do not feel embarrassed by your tears, or fearful of how easily they flow. This is normal -- it is NOT depression. It is very healthy, for they are truly healing tears. And yes, going home again may be difficult knowing that your precious Sassy's physical presence is no longer there, but her sweet Living Spirit is still there, as it is with you now at college. She is with you wherever you go and whatever you do, she is always a heartbeat close to you. Her presence with you is no longer restricted to the physical laws of time and space, AnimalLover.
Thank you so much for sharing your beloved Sassy with us, AnimalLover. She truly is a sweetie. Please know you are not alone in your grief journey. Each of us here do understand what you are going through and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, AnimalLover, and look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Thank you both so much. It truly means so much to me to have your support. After writing on here and telling my story I cried last night but when I woke up this morning I felt a little more at peace. Reading what you had to say today really made a difference and made me feel so much stronger about the situation. I have cried a few times today but I've also been able to smile. I will always have a peice of her where ever I am and the memories will always be here. However, I will let time heal me and accept what has happened. Thank you again you are truly amazing people for understanding and being here to give support.
Hi, AnimalLover, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. While I wish with all my heart that none of us ever had to travel this grief journey, it is an honor to be a part of this wonderful forum, and for the privilege of trying to help comfort you in your grief. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, AnimalLover, and look forward to knowing how you're doing whenever possible.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Hi Animall0ver91,
I wanted to add my deepest sypathy on the loss of your Sassy. It's so hard to say goodbye. I had to do the same thing 2 weeks ago with my girl Myah. You can read her story, mainly I wanted you to know I understand making that decision. It certainly isn't an easy one.
I know I found everyone here so gracious and caring, I hope it helps you to be able to share your feelings.
Thinking of you,
Doe
I wanted to add my deepest sypathy on the loss of your Sassy. It's so hard to say goodbye. I had to do the same thing 2 weeks ago with my girl Myah. You can read her story, mainly I wanted you to know I understand making that decision. It certainly isn't an easy one.
I know I found everyone here so gracious and caring, I hope it helps you to be able to share your feelings.
Thinking of you,
Doe
QUOTE (Animall0ver91 @ Mar 14 2011, 07:09 PM)
Thank you both so much. It truly means so much to me to have your support. After writing on here and telling my story I cried last night but when I woke up this morning I felt a little more at peace. Reading what you had to say today really made a difference and made me feel so much stronger about the situation. I have cried a few times today but I've also been able to smile. I will always have a peice of her where ever I am and the memories will always be here. However, I will let time heal me and accept what has happened. Thank you again you are truly amazing people for understanding and being here to give support.
Hi Animall0ver91,
I'm so glad you're feeling a little better today and thank you for finding the time to post about it. Your adorable little Sassy, with the big personality will always be with you and hopefully that's a comforting thought when you're feeling sad. I am happy to hear that you're winning the war with guilt. You truly have nothing to feel guilty about. You did everything possible to help her, although I know it can be challenging to convince your heart to accept that truth. Just keep in mind that nobody could have loved Sassy more than you and your family, and she knew that. And she was obviously in love with all of you. The way you described her, you clearly loved and accepted her for who she was and in this world, that means everything. No wonder she loved you so much!
I will pray that your heart continues to lighten and that happpy memories of Sassy bring only smiles to your face.
Take care,
Peggy
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