I had to have my beloved Australian Red Heeler Mix, Gramps, euthanized yestereday afternoon. He was 16 years old, and had mast cell tumors all over. I knew it was coming, but it's something you're never fully prepared for. He took a turn for the worse the night before; we got home, and he had vomited dark brown "guck" (blood, the vet told us yesterday.)
The vet said with mast cell tumors, the histamine can cause the lining of the stomach to ulcerate and bleed - hence, the bloody vomit. I was gone when Gramps threw up, but when I returned home, he was weak and staggered around, not steady on his feet. He went to get a drink of water, and I was sitting on the floor by his food bowl. After he got his drink, he nuzzled his head into my armpit - twice - as if to say "Mom, I don't fee good." I carried him down and laid him on my bed. He slept for a few hours, then woke me, trying to get off the bed. I set him on the floor, and he slept there until morning.
I have other dogs, and the usual routine is: when one is awake and up, the rest chime in. Everybody did so yesterday morning - except Gramps. He just laid on his doggie bed. I knew something was terribly wrong. I called my vet's office, but OF COURSE, Gramps' usual vet was off yesterday. The only vet in the clinic was one whose bedside manner leaves A LOT to be desired. I didn't want her touching Gramps. I did call our "usual" vet at home, but got his answering machine. I left a message, but never heard back (maybe he was out of town? I don't know....) Anyway, the day lingered on....Gramps did stand with my assistance and ate all his breakfast, and drank some water. After that, he laid down on his bed, and he never got up again (crying now).
At times, he would lift his head and look around, then it would fall back down onto his bed. About 2:30 both my boyfriend and I said to each other 'he can't go on like this - we need to do something.' I called a vet that a friend of mine uses. She was FABULOUS, to say the least. She came in even though her clinic was closed, and just did a phenomenal job with ever aspect of things: my grief, making sure Gramps was relaxed and sedated, talking with my boyfriend and me about our wishes afterwards (we chose cremation), etc. We were not rushed in any way. It's been a very long time since I've shed that many tears, and I can't tell you how many times in the last 24 hours I've burst into tears and just started to sob. We have other dogs, but there's one less on the living room floor, in the kitchen at feeding time, on the bed at night.
This is SO hard for me....it's just agonizing...I physically HURT...I feel a pit in my stomach, and feel nauseous and sad, and this overwhelming sense of loss.
I think my biggest thing is: will I ever see my dog again? Amazon had some GREAT books that I ordered a bit ago about life after death for animals; I'm eager for those to get here. I also came across some "religious" websites that pretty much, in effect, said: "sorry, animals have no soul and no spirit - you won't see your pet again." How CRUEL and hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but it just came across so harsh.......
THANK YOU, whoever reads this, and if you'd take a moment and remember Gramps and myself, we'd appreciate it.
Thanks again,
~Michelle
Full Version: Lost My Pet Yesterday; Hurting Badly
Michelle, I'm so sorry that your beloved Gramps is no longer with you. My precious Bruiser died in my arms on the 29th. I completely understand how you feel when you say that you physically hurt. The physical sickness and pain are almost as bad as the emotional.
I've read that animals have no souls. I don't believe it. I think our pets are waiting for us on the other side. How can there be no dogs or cats or any other animals in Heaven? Our pets give us so much love and affection. The God I believe in would want that to keep on in Heaven. You and your boyfriend are in my prayers.
I've read that animals have no souls. I don't believe it. I think our pets are waiting for us on the other side. How can there be no dogs or cats or any other animals in Heaven? Our pets give us so much love and affection. The God I believe in would want that to keep on in Heaven. You and your boyfriend are in my prayers.
Michelle
I am so sorry for your loss - it is a blessing that your friend was able to come and help you. I completely understand your sentiment about not wanting a particular vet to touch Gramps - it was a huge relief to me that Tam and I were able to see the only vet I trust (aside from my brother who lives hundreds of kms away and could only provide emotional support by phone).
I had not heard that some religions do not think animals have souls or spirits - like Chrissy B, the God I believe in created all creatures (including men and women) and we all have souls. However, I couldn't feel Tam's spirit for about 36 hours after he went to sleep - in those 36 hours I began to wonder if my beliefs were wrong (the other spirits who I feel regularly are my Nanna and a dear Aunt so I knew what it would be like if he was there). Then, on Sunday morning he was there (quite fitting that it was the feast of the Epiphany:-). I am sure Gramps will be with you too. Part of me thinks Tam's spirit "supervised" his cremation to make sure I really do get his ashes back as well as a fur sample. Whatever happened in that time, maybe Gramps is in the same phase - I pray that he joins you soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your boyfriend and Gramps.
Margie
I am so sorry for your loss - it is a blessing that your friend was able to come and help you. I completely understand your sentiment about not wanting a particular vet to touch Gramps - it was a huge relief to me that Tam and I were able to see the only vet I trust (aside from my brother who lives hundreds of kms away and could only provide emotional support by phone).
I had not heard that some religions do not think animals have souls or spirits - like Chrissy B, the God I believe in created all creatures (including men and women) and we all have souls. However, I couldn't feel Tam's spirit for about 36 hours after he went to sleep - in those 36 hours I began to wonder if my beliefs were wrong (the other spirits who I feel regularly are my Nanna and a dear Aunt so I knew what it would be like if he was there). Then, on Sunday morning he was there (quite fitting that it was the feast of the Epiphany:-). I am sure Gramps will be with you too. Part of me thinks Tam's spirit "supervised" his cremation to make sure I really do get his ashes back as well as a fur sample. Whatever happened in that time, maybe Gramps is in the same phase - I pray that he joins you soon.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your boyfriend and Gramps.
Margie
Hi, Michelle, please permit me to add my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Gramps. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our beloved companions - - at great sacrifice to ourselves - - so that they can be restored to the former youthfulness in the company of the angels.
Unfortunately, many organized religions promote the belief that only humans are in heaven. I have never believed this, and have been severely ridiculed by many people in various different religious denominations, including members of my own family, who believe that only humans have any worth both in this life and in eternity. Several years ago I did a Scripture research on creation and God's desire for all of His creatures. As a result of this research my personal beliefs were reinforced - - much to my surprise. I prepared a two-page summary of my research and would be glad to e-mail it to you, and anyone else, who would be interested in having it in the hopes that it would give you hope and comfort - - NOT to convert anyone into believing as I do.
The bottom line is: Yes, you will see your beloved Gramps again when it is your appropriate time to join him in eternal joy. Until then, Michelle, your precious Gramps' sweet Living Spirit will continue to be with you as you continue your earthly journey sharing your life just as he always has, and always will. The love bond we share with our beloved companions is eternal, Michelle, and nothing can ever take this away from us.
Michelle, this grief journey is both physically and emotionally devastating. This sorrow is the deepest we will experience on this side of eternity. This grief journey has so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds that can overwhelm us all at one time, and it is often referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. This is why, among so many other reasons, it is important for you to know you are not alone in your journey. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you for as long and as often as you need us.
Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your precious Gramps with us. Perhaps in time you will feel up to posting a picture of him and sharing some of your memories with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Michelle, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
Unfortunately, many organized religions promote the belief that only humans are in heaven. I have never believed this, and have been severely ridiculed by many people in various different religious denominations, including members of my own family, who believe that only humans have any worth both in this life and in eternity. Several years ago I did a Scripture research on creation and God's desire for all of His creatures. As a result of this research my personal beliefs were reinforced - - much to my surprise. I prepared a two-page summary of my research and would be glad to e-mail it to you, and anyone else, who would be interested in having it in the hopes that it would give you hope and comfort - - NOT to convert anyone into believing as I do.
The bottom line is: Yes, you will see your beloved Gramps again when it is your appropriate time to join him in eternal joy. Until then, Michelle, your precious Gramps' sweet Living Spirit will continue to be with you as you continue your earthly journey sharing your life just as he always has, and always will. The love bond we share with our beloved companions is eternal, Michelle, and nothing can ever take this away from us.
Michelle, this grief journey is both physically and emotionally devastating. This sorrow is the deepest we will experience on this side of eternity. This grief journey has so many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds that can overwhelm us all at one time, and it is often referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. This is why, among so many other reasons, it is important for you to know you are not alone in your journey. Each of us are here for you, with you, and beside you for as long and as often as you need us.
Michelle, thank you so much for sharing your precious Gramps with us. Perhaps in time you will feel up to posting a picture of him and sharing some of your memories with us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Michelle, and will look forward to knowing how you're doing.
Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
I am so sorry for your loss and, sadly, understand how terribly you are hurting right now. I lost my beloved companion of 13 1/2 years on 12/23 and the grief continues to overwhelm me at times.
I find myself on Petfinder.com just reading about the different dogs available in my area - not because I'm necessarily thinking of adopting right now ... just trying to keep my heart open ... which seems very difficult at times.
The one thought this activity gave rise to ... and the one thought that I hold on to when my heart is breaking ... I was so lucky to have found my little Spooky. She made me a better person and truly brought me so much joy. I am so grateful for all the time I had with her. I doted on her ... she let me love her and I'm so grateful. We adopted each other and she was so loved. I read so many listings for dogs whose owners passed away - dogs that had been with their owners since puppyhood and find themselves scared and alone ... the one thought that seems to bring me comfort ... is that she never had to experience the loss/sadness of losing her human. I hate that I'm feeling what I am feeling ... I hate it so much I want the world to stop sometimes ... but I will carry this sorrow with me and be grateful I could take care of her and love her for her whole life.
I'm sure my words are little comfort for your broken heart ... it is such a tremendous loss.
Please take care of yourself.
I find myself on Petfinder.com just reading about the different dogs available in my area - not because I'm necessarily thinking of adopting right now ... just trying to keep my heart open ... which seems very difficult at times.
The one thought this activity gave rise to ... and the one thought that I hold on to when my heart is breaking ... I was so lucky to have found my little Spooky. She made me a better person and truly brought me so much joy. I am so grateful for all the time I had with her. I doted on her ... she let me love her and I'm so grateful. We adopted each other and she was so loved. I read so many listings for dogs whose owners passed away - dogs that had been with their owners since puppyhood and find themselves scared and alone ... the one thought that seems to bring me comfort ... is that she never had to experience the loss/sadness of losing her human. I hate that I'm feeling what I am feeling ... I hate it so much I want the world to stop sometimes ... but I will carry this sorrow with me and be grateful I could take care of her and love her for her whole life.
I'm sure my words are little comfort for your broken heart ... it is such a tremendous loss.
Please take care of yourself.
I read your post last night just after I registered here. I am so sorry for your loss. I have also just lost my little dog who was only 3 yrs old, so I am experiencing some of the same feelings you are. I have to believe that all of the support here will help us heal. I felt so alone until I found this site last night. I hope you are also feeling the love and support from the people here.
QUOTE (MichelleB @ Jan 3 2011, 07:13 PM) 
I had to have my beloved Australian Red Heeler Mix, Gramps, euthanized yestereday afternoon. He was 16 years old, and had mast cell tumors all over. I knew it was coming, but it's something you're never fully prepared for. He took a turn for the worse the night before; we got home, and he had vomited dark brown "guck" (blood, the vet told us yesterday.)
The vet said with mast cell tumors, the histamine can cause the lining of the stomach to ulcerate and bleed - hence, the bloody vomit. I was gone when Gramps threw up, but when I returned home, he was weak and staggered around, not steady on his feet. He went to get a drink of water, and I was sitting on the floor by his food bowl. After he got his drink, he nuzzled his head into my armpit - twice - as if to say "Mom, I don't fee good." I carried him down and laid him on my bed. He slept for a few hours, then woke me, trying to get off the bed. I set him on the floor, and he slept there until morning.
I have other dogs, and the usual routine is: when one is awake and up, the rest chime in. Everybody did so yesterday morning - except Gramps. He just laid on his doggie bed. I knew something was terribly wrong. I called my vet's office, but OF COURSE, Gramps' usual vet was off yesterday. The only vet in the clinic was one whose bedside manner leaves A LOT to be desired. I didn't want her touching Gramps. I did call our "usual" vet at home, but got his answering machine. I left a message, but never heard back (maybe he was out of town? I don't know....) Anyway, the day lingered on....Gramps did stand with my assistance and ate all his breakfast, and drank some water. After that, he laid down on his bed, and he never got up again (crying now).
At times, he would lift his head and look around, then it would fall back down onto his bed. About 2:30 both my boyfriend and I said to each other 'he can't go on like this - we need to do something.' I called a vet that a friend of mine uses. She was FABULOUS, to say the least. She came in even though her clinic was closed, and just did a phenomenal job with ever aspect of things: my grief, making sure Gramps was relaxed and sedated, talking with my boyfriend and me about our wishes afterwards (we chose cremation), etc. We were not rushed in any way. It's been a very long time since I've shed that many tears, and I can't tell you how many times in the last 24 hours I've burst into tears and just started to sob. We have other dogs, but there's one less on the living room floor, in the kitchen at feeding time, on the bed at night.
This is SO hard for me....it's just agonizing...I physically HURT...I feel a pit in my stomach, and feel nauseous and sad, and this overwhelming sense of loss.
I think my biggest thing is: will I ever see my dog again? Amazon had some GREAT books that I ordered a bit ago about life after death for animals; I'm eager for those to get here. I also came across some "religious" websites that pretty much, in effect, said: "sorry, animals have no soul and no spirit - you won't see your pet again." How CRUEL and hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but it just came across so harsh.......
THANK YOU, whoever reads this, and if you'd take a moment and remember Gramps and myself, we'd appreciate it.
Thanks again,
~Michelle
The vet said with mast cell tumors, the histamine can cause the lining of the stomach to ulcerate and bleed - hence, the bloody vomit. I was gone when Gramps threw up, but when I returned home, he was weak and staggered around, not steady on his feet. He went to get a drink of water, and I was sitting on the floor by his food bowl. After he got his drink, he nuzzled his head into my armpit - twice - as if to say "Mom, I don't fee good." I carried him down and laid him on my bed. He slept for a few hours, then woke me, trying to get off the bed. I set him on the floor, and he slept there until morning.
I have other dogs, and the usual routine is: when one is awake and up, the rest chime in. Everybody did so yesterday morning - except Gramps. He just laid on his doggie bed. I knew something was terribly wrong. I called my vet's office, but OF COURSE, Gramps' usual vet was off yesterday. The only vet in the clinic was one whose bedside manner leaves A LOT to be desired. I didn't want her touching Gramps. I did call our "usual" vet at home, but got his answering machine. I left a message, but never heard back (maybe he was out of town? I don't know....) Anyway, the day lingered on....Gramps did stand with my assistance and ate all his breakfast, and drank some water. After that, he laid down on his bed, and he never got up again (crying now).
At times, he would lift his head and look around, then it would fall back down onto his bed. About 2:30 both my boyfriend and I said to each other 'he can't go on like this - we need to do something.' I called a vet that a friend of mine uses. She was FABULOUS, to say the least. She came in even though her clinic was closed, and just did a phenomenal job with ever aspect of things: my grief, making sure Gramps was relaxed and sedated, talking with my boyfriend and me about our wishes afterwards (we chose cremation), etc. We were not rushed in any way. It's been a very long time since I've shed that many tears, and I can't tell you how many times in the last 24 hours I've burst into tears and just started to sob. We have other dogs, but there's one less on the living room floor, in the kitchen at feeding time, on the bed at night.
This is SO hard for me....it's just agonizing...I physically HURT...I feel a pit in my stomach, and feel nauseous and sad, and this overwhelming sense of loss.
I think my biggest thing is: will I ever see my dog again? Amazon had some GREAT books that I ordered a bit ago about life after death for animals; I'm eager for those to get here. I also came across some "religious" websites that pretty much, in effect, said: "sorry, animals have no soul and no spirit - you won't see your pet again." How CRUEL and hurtful. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs, but it just came across so harsh.......
THANK YOU, whoever reads this, and if you'd take a moment and remember Gramps and myself, we'd appreciate it.
Thanks again,
~Michelle
Hi Michelle,
I am so sorry at the loss of your Gramps. He had the same problem my Poppy had with he Mast Cell tumors and behaved the same way his last day on earth. I feel your pain and I cry with you at your loss.
Please know that I do believe pets go to heaven. I am a Christian and in the Bible (in Genesis) God speaks of animals having a living soul and shows His love for all His creation. So do not believe any "religious" person that tells you otherwise. The one thing I ask God is that I may see all my fur babies in heaven when my time comes. I truly believe they will be there waiting for me and we are all going to be reunited.
Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.
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