hi all
im a first time poster and never even knew pet loss forums exsisted until about 20 mins ago when i found this one. I was having what i would consider a panic attack, i think thats what it was, i felt the exact same way as i did when i heard picasso was injured... i had this scared, horrible feeling inside me.... I really need help, and understanding, please bear with me as some of the things i have to get out and say will sound a bit nutty, i logically know this but cant help how i feel
my dog Picasso, a 1 1/2 year old chihuahua/ Jack Russel mix, died September 29,2004, so a week ago yesterday. He was hit by a car. My dad didnt see the car coming, Picasso was across the road, my dad is really old so he cant hear, and he said Here Boy....and called him out right in front of a car......
i adopted Picasso July 31,2004 from a pound on his last day, he was scheduled to be put to sleep that night but i happened upon his picture on a internet site and went and got him. I saved him.
It was not a rash decision i had wanted a little dog for years but my dad would not let me have one . So i just took the plunge, it was i would save him or he would die, so i adopted him against my dads wishes, even though i have to live with my dad until i get married in december and my husband is here ( he is english , thats why i dont have my own place yet, we are saving money)
The first day i got my dog, my dad saw him and went nuts, said i would be sorry for getting him , went on and on, chewed me out for about 3 hours. My dad is very controlling , he is 83, i was born when he was 60, so weve never had much in common and he always finds something wrong with whatever i do
well i had to go to work the next day, i worked 9 hours a day, and it turned out Picasso didnt like being left alone, would cry and howl if he was left for even 10 seconds, so i paid my mother who does not live with my dad to babysit him at her house. My parents are not divorced, they are not divorcing, she had to move out to get custody of her grandkids, we didnt have room enough for them. anyways......
One day my mom was busy so he left my dog with my dad while i was at work, well my dad fell for my dog, fell completely in Love . From then on he monopolized all of my dogs time, and even when i had days off wouldnt let me spend much time with Picasso.
I didnt mind my dad loving Picasso, i figured it was better for my little dog to have someone who loved him watching him, and my dad did alot of good things for him, spoiled him . But the problem was, he took over my dog
I would be spending my day off with my dog and my dad would come and get him, and my dog liked my dad more then he liked me so he wanted to go with my dad, i was not going to force him to stay with me. On the rare occassion my dog slept with me instead of my dad, my dad would open my room door with his key at 6 am and my dog would go with him
about a month before my dog was hit by the car, i saw my dad not keeping him on a leash , when he went from his car to my moms house, well my mom lives next to a road and i told both of my parents, and all three of my neices that live with my mom, Picasso is a dog, he is smart, he can do every trick, but he is still a dog, he does not know cars are dangerous, i told them he is going to get hit if you dont keep him on a leash from the car to the house, and vice versa..... so they all promised they would
Well on September 29 my dad had my dog as usual ....i was sleeping in , i had been up sick all night.... it was about noon , i hear pounding on my door and screaming, my mother was screaming Amber get out here your dog has been hit by a car, so i put shoes on and went to the vet
Picasso looked happy to see me , i held him and told him it was ok, that i loved him, he looked ok, he looked like he was going to live
I didnt know it at first but Little Picasso was broken and bleeding ... his hip and back legs were broken, there was not a vet availible( i live in a dink, pathetic town) , a good samaritan who was there buying food for his pet, happened to be a retired vet,
he took over and started treating Picasso, tried giving him a Iv, couldnt get it in his leg, so they got one in his neck. While they were doing this i saw huge blood clots and blood run out of his Penis.....i knew then it was really bad
they treated him for shock, and put him on oxygen and on a heated table, the vet that was trying to treat him, ordered us to leave, so we went out to our car, he came out and was getting in his car, i jumped out of our car and said where are you going ......he was like.......its not good, his chances are not good....
i asked him, well begged him, to do surgery and stop whatever was bleeding, he said he thought picasso had ruptured his kidneys or his liver, his back legs were broken, and that his pelvis was broken .. ( he said you cant repair and stop that type of bleeding, even if you try they have to be stablized first) .... then he got in his car and left
I feel so angry , because the people who worked there, paged their normal two vets, one is the owner of the clinic, but noone ever showed up, after about 20 mins had gone by and no vet had arrived i started freaking out and i called every vet in our town, its hard to believe but not one vet was in their clinic or availible, i called cell phones, no one would help me
I went into the room where Picasso was, and told him i loved him, tried to comfort him, he was trying to move and making horrible little noises, i told him i was so sorry that this happened, and that he was the best dog that ever lived, that i couldnt have asked for a better dog
i went back out and started fighting with the receptionist woman, and she called to another town about 30 mins away, got a vet who agreed to meet us there, well we wrapped up Picasso, left his iv in , and myself and my dad drove like crazy trying to get him to a vet, but he died in my arms about 5 mins into the trip
I feel so cheated , and angry , im angry that there was not vet there, im angry that the man that started to help us just didnt tell me he is going to die anyways so i could have put him down and prevented him suffering another hour , im angry that my dad let him get hit by a car after i had warned him of the danger, and predicted this would happen a month before it did, im angry at myself for not taking more pictures of him, and most of all im angry at god because i feel he made a Huge mistake he cheated Piccasso......
He was just a baby, and he was taken, i dont understand why god would do this to Picasso, who had a whole family that loved him, everytoy a dog could want, he was fed Tuna or Sardines every day because he wouldnt eat dog food, Picasso had just started to see what a good life was........ there are millions of homeless, and suffering animals he could have taken and relived their pain ......why my Picasso?
Im mad at myself because I saved him from the pound, then i trusted him with stupid people and he suffered a horrible death
The only reason i didnt tell my dad off , and tell him its my dog, get your own, is i had to work long hours anyways, my dad is 83, has cancer, and they made each other happy.....but now i wish i had just told him off and my dog would still be alive ......
Most of all , i feel so bad for Picasso....... i know he hurt,was scared, suffered, and i was helpless...... now im left with my own grief, and my dads, he cries everyday, wont eat, is not at all dealing with it ......
he misses the little dog horribly, and feels guilty for calling him out infront of a car..i dont say anything about being mad to my dad, because i dont want to be cruel, and i couldnt make him feel anyworse then he does already anyways........
I feel worse for my dad then i do myself, which is hard because i feel extreme anger at him for not doing what i asked, keeping him on a leash by that road would have saved his life....... a simple request that they didnt do , and who suffered, Picasso
Im mad at the woman who ran him over, she saw him on the side of the road, she could have slowed down , or stopped so my dad could get to him , she stopped once she hit him, said sorry and drove off
I wonder if she realizes how many people she's hurt, the hurt she has caused by not showing a little caution and compassion is immeasurable ......
Im sorry this is so long, but im just absolutely grief stricken, and ive lost my faith. I feel either god cheated Picasso, so he is a ~~ty god, a cruel god , or there is no god at all and Picasso was just at the wrong place at the wrong time........
i hope someone can help me either feel better about my dog, or help me even in the smallest way to get rid of the hate in my heart for god
thanks in advance
amber
Full Version: My Dog Died, And I Feel Dead Inside Please Help
Amber,
I am so sorry you are having to feel all of this pain. It's one thing to lose a precious friend such as Picasso, but you are having to deal with so many other feelings. Know that you have found a safe place to share everything you feel and so many wise and wonderful, caring people to help you through this time. I came here 4 weeks ago and I was insane with grief and pain over losing my precious furbaby. Today I have moved through much of the grief and anger and am learning to live this new, forever changed life. Hang on, some of the wise members will be here soon and will post to you and you will see what I mean.
For now, know that all the feelings you have are normal and that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
{{{{{Amber}}}}
Thinking of you
Libby
I am so sorry you are having to feel all of this pain. It's one thing to lose a precious friend such as Picasso, but you are having to deal with so many other feelings. Know that you have found a safe place to share everything you feel and so many wise and wonderful, caring people to help you through this time. I came here 4 weeks ago and I was insane with grief and pain over losing my precious furbaby. Today I have moved through much of the grief and anger and am learning to live this new, forever changed life. Hang on, some of the wise members will be here soon and will post to you and you will see what I mean.
For now, know that all the feelings you have are normal and that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
{{{{{Amber}}}}
Thinking of you
Libby
Dear Amber,
Sorry seems to be so inaquedate a word to say right now for your loss and the nightmare that you have experienced this last week. I don't think the english language has a word that can express what I, and many others are feeling for you at this moment. There is so much I want to tell you and I hope that you permit me to return this evening when I have more time to compose my thoughts coherently. I just know that every person in this forum has experienced first-hand the raw grief and anger and guilt that is overwhelming you now, and many will shed tears with you. For now, all I can say is that I will think of you and Picasso often today, and I hope that later I can find a way to better tell you how much I care and that you are not alone .
Love, Nicole
Sorry seems to be so inaquedate a word to say right now for your loss and the nightmare that you have experienced this last week. I don't think the english language has a word that can express what I, and many others are feeling for you at this moment. There is so much I want to tell you and I hope that you permit me to return this evening when I have more time to compose my thoughts coherently. I just know that every person in this forum has experienced first-hand the raw grief and anger and guilt that is overwhelming you now, and many will shed tears with you. For now, all I can say is that I will think of you and Picasso often today, and I hope that later I can find a way to better tell you how much I care and that you are not alone .
Love, Nicole
Thank you both so much for taking the time to read my story and replying, i think the hurt and anger are both so raw with me right now i cant handle it well so anything helps i will keep checking back for your insight
Amber,
I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry for the way you lost your Picasso. A lot of us here have gone through pain, guilt, anger, and the what if's when we lost our furbabies. My heart goes out to you. Picasso is now at Rainbow Bridge running, playing and having fun with all his new friends. He is happy. He no longer has broken bones and no longer is in pain. He misses you and everyone that he loves, just as you and yours miss and love him. God has better plans for Picasso perhaps to be a special friend to another furbaby that needs him to be his friend. I hope your anger will subside toward God in the days to come and I do understand your anger. When my furkitty passed in June I turned to God and LS for the comfort I needed so desperately. (God is a big part of my life). People here helped me tremendously. Please keep coming here writing as often as you need to. It really does help!
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Wanda
I am so sorry for your loss and I am so sorry for the way you lost your Picasso. A lot of us here have gone through pain, guilt, anger, and the what if's when we lost our furbabies. My heart goes out to you. Picasso is now at Rainbow Bridge running, playing and having fun with all his new friends. He is happy. He no longer has broken bones and no longer is in pain. He misses you and everyone that he loves, just as you and yours miss and love him. God has better plans for Picasso perhaps to be a special friend to another furbaby that needs him to be his friend. I hope your anger will subside toward God in the days to come and I do understand your anger. When my furkitty passed in June I turned to God and LS for the comfort I needed so desperately. (God is a big part of my life). People here helped me tremendously. Please keep coming here writing as often as you need to. It really does help!
Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Wanda
Amber,
What a terrible, awful thing that has happened to all of you! I am so, so sorry. I can certainly understand your anger at everything and everyone, and I can imagine the pain you are feeling now. Your feelings are valid, of course. That man, the retired vet, I would be most angry at him and at all those who would not help you. That makes me very angry too. You and Picasso needed help, because there was nothing you could do for Picasso without some help (except what you did -- to tell him how much you loved him and to try to comfort him by your presence and your words. I am sure he was comforted by you. I just know he was.)
I can imagine the anger you feel toward your Dad too, but I feel as you do, that he probably hurts enough already. Your dad knows he should have used the leash, and I'm sure he regrets that he didn't so very much. You already know this, I see that and, since your dad is pretty old and sick as well, you don't want to do or say anything to him that you will later regret. With time, you will be able to forgive him, I'm sure. But now, you feel the way you feel, with good reason and I'm glad we are here so you can share those feelings with us.
You were so kind and generous, both to your father and Picasso, to let Picasso comfort your dad and to let Picasso stay with your dad so neither would be lonely. That was truly loving and unselfish of you.
I don't know, but Picasso was probably in shock, and maybe didn't hurt quite as much as he might have had he survived longer. Perhaps another professional whom you can trust can talk to you and give you some comfort about that. But what I do know is because of you (and your Dad), Picasso was saved from death at least once and you took him home with you. You saved Picasso and loved him and ya'll gave him everything he ever needed. You said yourself had it not been for you, Picasso would have died the day you saved him.
Sadly, it is true: Picasso was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was not your fault. Sometimes things just happen, and we don't know why, we cannot understand at the time. Picasso was young and had only recently begun to live the kind of life you wanted to give him. I do believe things happen for a reason though. Perhaps it has something to do with your Dad, Amber -- with the relationship between the two of you. You might think about that some, and you will know if that might be it. Some of the people here, as well as some psychologists, etc., believe that we learn to accept death first when we lose our precious animals, so that we can accept death when it comes to people we love.
I don't know, Amber, but I do not believe that God CAUSED or MADE that happen to Picasso. As you will see from many previous posts here, accidents do happen, and they happen all the time. I guess that's just part of life. Please do not blame yourself. You didn't trust Picasso with stupid people -- we all have lapses sometimes, and again, accidents happen in a split second -- just a split second, and it's too late.
Since you say you have lost your faith, that means you had faith so please, even tho you are angry at God, pray to Him for an answer, for help in overcoming your anger. You will need God during this terrible time. The other thing about God, Amber, is that we are all going to die some day. We usually don't know how and we rarely ever know when, but it's going to happen. We already know that. We have been told that. The death of a young one is difficult to understand, I know, but everyone and everything can't live to be old because the world is not big enough and there aren't enough resources, you know?
I hope I've helped some. I really do. There will be others to come here to "talk" to you and try to help too. You'll get some really good advice and lots of understanding here. Please take care of yourself.
Love,
Marcia
What a terrible, awful thing that has happened to all of you! I am so, so sorry. I can certainly understand your anger at everything and everyone, and I can imagine the pain you are feeling now. Your feelings are valid, of course. That man, the retired vet, I would be most angry at him and at all those who would not help you. That makes me very angry too. You and Picasso needed help, because there was nothing you could do for Picasso without some help (except what you did -- to tell him how much you loved him and to try to comfort him by your presence and your words. I am sure he was comforted by you. I just know he was.)
I can imagine the anger you feel toward your Dad too, but I feel as you do, that he probably hurts enough already. Your dad knows he should have used the leash, and I'm sure he regrets that he didn't so very much. You already know this, I see that and, since your dad is pretty old and sick as well, you don't want to do or say anything to him that you will later regret. With time, you will be able to forgive him, I'm sure. But now, you feel the way you feel, with good reason and I'm glad we are here so you can share those feelings with us.
You were so kind and generous, both to your father and Picasso, to let Picasso comfort your dad and to let Picasso stay with your dad so neither would be lonely. That was truly loving and unselfish of you.
I don't know, but Picasso was probably in shock, and maybe didn't hurt quite as much as he might have had he survived longer. Perhaps another professional whom you can trust can talk to you and give you some comfort about that. But what I do know is because of you (and your Dad), Picasso was saved from death at least once and you took him home with you. You saved Picasso and loved him and ya'll gave him everything he ever needed. You said yourself had it not been for you, Picasso would have died the day you saved him.
Sadly, it is true: Picasso was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was not your fault. Sometimes things just happen, and we don't know why, we cannot understand at the time. Picasso was young and had only recently begun to live the kind of life you wanted to give him. I do believe things happen for a reason though. Perhaps it has something to do with your Dad, Amber -- with the relationship between the two of you. You might think about that some, and you will know if that might be it. Some of the people here, as well as some psychologists, etc., believe that we learn to accept death first when we lose our precious animals, so that we can accept death when it comes to people we love.
I don't know, Amber, but I do not believe that God CAUSED or MADE that happen to Picasso. As you will see from many previous posts here, accidents do happen, and they happen all the time. I guess that's just part of life. Please do not blame yourself. You didn't trust Picasso with stupid people -- we all have lapses sometimes, and again, accidents happen in a split second -- just a split second, and it's too late.
Since you say you have lost your faith, that means you had faith so please, even tho you are angry at God, pray to Him for an answer, for help in overcoming your anger. You will need God during this terrible time. The other thing about God, Amber, is that we are all going to die some day. We usually don't know how and we rarely ever know when, but it's going to happen. We already know that. We have been told that. The death of a young one is difficult to understand, I know, but everyone and everything can't live to be old because the world is not big enough and there aren't enough resources, you know?
I hope I've helped some. I really do. There will be others to come here to "talk" to you and try to help too. You'll get some really good advice and lots of understanding here. Please take care of yourself.
Love,
Marcia
Hi Amber, I'm so sorry to hear about Picasso. He was so young and he hadn't been in your life very long, but it doesn't matter how long. The hurting and pain is still there for your buddy.
Anger is a perfectly normal grief reaction. It usually doesn't last for ever. You might want to check out the sub forum (above, support resources) and take a read of some of the articles. You'll find that your reactions are pretty 'normal' stuff under the cir%%stances.
I suspect that your dad was so adament against getting a dog because he had suffered the loss of an animal at some time in his long life and never allowed himself to have another pet. I'm just speculating from the information that you have given. The pain and emptiness is something almost unbearable and perhaps he didn't ever want to go through that experience again. When you brought Picasso home, he may have been overwelmed with old feelings. It sounds like he became very attached to Picasso, enough to possibly forget past hurts and spark the loving relationship that only a dog (or cat) can bring a person. He did not intentionally call Picasso to get hit by the car, it truely was an accident.
I too feel guilty about not taking enough pictures of my dog Ava. Most of my pictures are work related when she would wonder into a picture or I would use her as a 'scale' to show the size of ruts in the road or how big the stumps were. I took very few pictures of her at home. I do have some pictures tho, so I am not totally without which would have been even worse.
I lived in a small town many years ago (the same small town where I rescued Ava, population around 150 people) and I knew and/or worked with everyone in town. I was over at a friends having coffee with her, when one of my co-workers knocked on the door... he had just accidently run over my friends doberman... the dog limped into the house while he kept appologizing. The dog had a major gash in it's rib area with the flesh peeled back almost to the rib cage. Surprisingly it wasn't bleeding very much so we pulled the car around and I picked up the dog and put it in the back. He didn't bite me despite the amount of pain he must have been in, it was a concern that I would get bit trying to help. He was in shock. We had no vet of course so we had to drive for over an hour to the larger community with the vet. Both of us had been trained as paramedics but it's not the same working on your pet. We arrived at about 1am and the vet (in her house coat and slippers) was waiting for us seeing as we had phoned ahead. We helped clean the dirt out of the big wound on his side. The vet said that if this was the only problem, things should be okay. But the proof would be in the xrays which would be taken first thing in the morning when the xray tech showed up. We left to go home to our small little town at about 4am after the doby had been sedated for the night. The next morning the xrays were taken and it was not good. Lots of broken bones and internal injuries that weren't evident at the time we brought him in. Long story short, the doby had to be put down.
The driver that said sorry and then drove away... at least she said sorry and didn't just leave the site like so many people do this day and age. Your dad loved Picasso and would never have intentionally caused harm to him.
Take it one day at a time Amber. Things will get better. Your anger will subside given a little time. Take care of yourself in this time of grieving.
Anger is a perfectly normal grief reaction. It usually doesn't last for ever. You might want to check out the sub forum (above, support resources) and take a read of some of the articles. You'll find that your reactions are pretty 'normal' stuff under the cir%%stances.
I suspect that your dad was so adament against getting a dog because he had suffered the loss of an animal at some time in his long life and never allowed himself to have another pet. I'm just speculating from the information that you have given. The pain and emptiness is something almost unbearable and perhaps he didn't ever want to go through that experience again. When you brought Picasso home, he may have been overwelmed with old feelings. It sounds like he became very attached to Picasso, enough to possibly forget past hurts and spark the loving relationship that only a dog (or cat) can bring a person. He did not intentionally call Picasso to get hit by the car, it truely was an accident.
I too feel guilty about not taking enough pictures of my dog Ava. Most of my pictures are work related when she would wonder into a picture or I would use her as a 'scale' to show the size of ruts in the road or how big the stumps were. I took very few pictures of her at home. I do have some pictures tho, so I am not totally without which would have been even worse.
I lived in a small town many years ago (the same small town where I rescued Ava, population around 150 people) and I knew and/or worked with everyone in town. I was over at a friends having coffee with her, when one of my co-workers knocked on the door... he had just accidently run over my friends doberman... the dog limped into the house while he kept appologizing. The dog had a major gash in it's rib area with the flesh peeled back almost to the rib cage. Surprisingly it wasn't bleeding very much so we pulled the car around and I picked up the dog and put it in the back. He didn't bite me despite the amount of pain he must have been in, it was a concern that I would get bit trying to help. He was in shock. We had no vet of course so we had to drive for over an hour to the larger community with the vet. Both of us had been trained as paramedics but it's not the same working on your pet. We arrived at about 1am and the vet (in her house coat and slippers) was waiting for us seeing as we had phoned ahead. We helped clean the dirt out of the big wound on his side. The vet said that if this was the only problem, things should be okay. But the proof would be in the xrays which would be taken first thing in the morning when the xray tech showed up. We left to go home to our small little town at about 4am after the doby had been sedated for the night. The next morning the xrays were taken and it was not good. Lots of broken bones and internal injuries that weren't evident at the time we brought him in. Long story short, the doby had to be put down.
The driver that said sorry and then drove away... at least she said sorry and didn't just leave the site like so many people do this day and age. Your dad loved Picasso and would never have intentionally caused harm to him.
Take it one day at a time Amber. Things will get better. Your anger will subside given a little time. Take care of yourself in this time of grieving.
Amber, it really made me sad reading your post. However, what struck me was that Picasso was such a brave dog, and you being there in his final moments would have meant the world to him. You made it easier for him.
I am truly sorry for what happened, it always makes us question if we could have done more. I don't know what to say, but listen to the members on here. They made it better for me to cope with losing my Barney and I know they will say inspiring things to you.
Please don't get angry with yourself, because you did exactly what Picasso needed you to.
I am truly sorry for what happened, it always makes us question if we could have done more. I don't know what to say, but listen to the members on here. They made it better for me to cope with losing my Barney and I know they will say inspiring things to you.
Please don't get angry with yourself, because you did exactly what Picasso needed you to.
Hi again Amber,
It has been said that the intensity of sorrow at losing a pet is equal to that of losing a child. You lost a furbaby and your Dad probably feels that he lost a fur grandbaby. Although you found it awkward to see how much Picasso liked him, it must also have been a relief on those days that you had to work long hours, to know that your sweet dog was not pining for human companionship.
I agree with an earlier post that Picasso was in shock after the accident and it is doubtful that he was in any physical pain. Perhaps what you thought was pain was a natural response to your distress.
The retired vet who first treated him tried to at least make him comfortable maybe hoping that he could be stabilized enough to treat.
Amber, you saved Picasso from the pound, and you sound like the kind of person who will let another companion into her life , when the time is right. Good, animals desperately need people like you, loving, caring and conscientious.You are young and can look forward to many years of wonderful animal friendships. Your Dad was probably flattered and motivated by Picasso's attention and some days I bet that litlle dog was the only reason he looked forward to his day. Our animals really are "love sponges" absorbing all the love we can give them , but don't you find that they give it all back, and then some?
Everything that happened after the accident was harrowing, of that there is no doubt. Many of us have gone through similar experiences totally on our own, often feeling like our pet's executioner. Your Dad was there with you, and it sounds like he is just as devastated as you are right now.
Could a simple gesture like a hand on his shoulder or just a few kind words help both of you through this ordeal?
Keep coming here and let us know how you and your family are doing.
Take care,
Nicole
It has been said that the intensity of sorrow at losing a pet is equal to that of losing a child. You lost a furbaby and your Dad probably feels that he lost a fur grandbaby. Although you found it awkward to see how much Picasso liked him, it must also have been a relief on those days that you had to work long hours, to know that your sweet dog was not pining for human companionship.
I agree with an earlier post that Picasso was in shock after the accident and it is doubtful that he was in any physical pain. Perhaps what you thought was pain was a natural response to your distress.
The retired vet who first treated him tried to at least make him comfortable maybe hoping that he could be stabilized enough to treat.
Amber, you saved Picasso from the pound, and you sound like the kind of person who will let another companion into her life , when the time is right. Good, animals desperately need people like you, loving, caring and conscientious.You are young and can look forward to many years of wonderful animal friendships. Your Dad was probably flattered and motivated by Picasso's attention and some days I bet that litlle dog was the only reason he looked forward to his day. Our animals really are "love sponges" absorbing all the love we can give them , but don't you find that they give it all back, and then some?
Everything that happened after the accident was harrowing, of that there is no doubt. Many of us have gone through similar experiences totally on our own, often feeling like our pet's executioner. Your Dad was there with you, and it sounds like he is just as devastated as you are right now.
Could a simple gesture like a hand on his shoulder or just a few kind words help both of you through this ordeal?
Keep coming here and let us know how you and your family are doing.
Take care,
Nicole
Dear Amber,
Well your post brings up alot for me. My significant other ran over my cat in our driveway. My significant other KNEW that Ginger had a tendency to make a dash for the garage when the automatic garage door opener was used. I had WARNED S.O. many times! Please watch out for my cat I would ask him practically every day!! The truck is really high up and we couldn't see in front of us--I MEANT to get out of the truck and make sure Ginger was accounted for--but I didn't and S.O. pulled forward. Ginger's injuries sound very much like Picasso's. I spent a fortune (and I am NOT kidding) keeping him alive at an emergency vets and he had surgery and died anyway. So I blamed everyone and everything in the beginning of my odessey and from time to time if I think about it hard enough I could easily start blaming again. But no amount of anger and blame brings Ginger back.
I feel so bad for your father--at age 83! His heart must surely be broken in two. The only major difference in your story is that your poor father is heartsick--my S.O. blamed my cat!! (it took me awhile to deal with my ANGER over that!).
With the type of internal injuries that Picasso and Ginger had there probably is no one on the planet that could have saved them. Ginger got blood transfusions for days before even being able to face surgery. The injuries were just too severe. I too wish someone would have and could have told me that but I was screaming like a banchee 1/2 the time so maybe they didn't have the courage to TRY to tell me...who knows. It would have helped me ALOT if someone had been really really straight with me about Ginger's chances. I think they wanted my money mostly.
Pablo Picasso was the most ingenious artist who was always able to reinvent himself. He was always able to acclimate to wherever he was--that is true for your wonderful friend Picasso the dog. He is now at the rainbow bridge and he is jumping for joy and romping with all our best friends (he has so much company!) He is waiting until he sees you and your Dad one day--in the meantime he is 100% happy and in bliss! Believe it! I know it is true--St. Frances made the animals our brothers and sisters--I know they have an afterlife--they are WAY more deserving of an afterlife than most people.
My heart goes out to you dear girl. Write anytime...we are here!
{{{{{{{{{{{AMBER}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Love
Patti
Well your post brings up alot for me. My significant other ran over my cat in our driveway. My significant other KNEW that Ginger had a tendency to make a dash for the garage when the automatic garage door opener was used. I had WARNED S.O. many times! Please watch out for my cat I would ask him practically every day!! The truck is really high up and we couldn't see in front of us--I MEANT to get out of the truck and make sure Ginger was accounted for--but I didn't and S.O. pulled forward. Ginger's injuries sound very much like Picasso's. I spent a fortune (and I am NOT kidding) keeping him alive at an emergency vets and he had surgery and died anyway. So I blamed everyone and everything in the beginning of my odessey and from time to time if I think about it hard enough I could easily start blaming again. But no amount of anger and blame brings Ginger back.
I feel so bad for your father--at age 83! His heart must surely be broken in two. The only major difference in your story is that your poor father is heartsick--my S.O. blamed my cat!! (it took me awhile to deal with my ANGER over that!).
With the type of internal injuries that Picasso and Ginger had there probably is no one on the planet that could have saved them. Ginger got blood transfusions for days before even being able to face surgery. The injuries were just too severe. I too wish someone would have and could have told me that but I was screaming like a banchee 1/2 the time so maybe they didn't have the courage to TRY to tell me...who knows. It would have helped me ALOT if someone had been really really straight with me about Ginger's chances. I think they wanted my money mostly.
Pablo Picasso was the most ingenious artist who was always able to reinvent himself. He was always able to acclimate to wherever he was--that is true for your wonderful friend Picasso the dog. He is now at the rainbow bridge and he is jumping for joy and romping with all our best friends (he has so much company!) He is waiting until he sees you and your Dad one day--in the meantime he is 100% happy and in bliss! Believe it! I know it is true--St. Frances made the animals our brothers and sisters--I know they have an afterlife--they are WAY more deserving of an afterlife than most people.
My heart goes out to you dear girl. Write anytime...we are here!
{{{{{{{{{{{AMBER}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Love
Patti
My heart goes out to you Amber.
It is very unfair what happened to your dog. I understand how angry you are. I don't know why things happen to such innocent creatures. It isn't fair. You are right.
You should be happy that you gave Picasso the chance to have a life. You gave him more of a life than if you never would have adopted him. He had the chance to be loved and cared for instead of staying in a cage all day. He was probably more happy in the short time you had him than any other time in his life. He had no quality of life before you found him. You gave his life quality. So did your father. Accidents happen. Try not to hold it against your father.
I'm sorry you could not find someone with enough compassion to help Picasso. That breaks my heart.
I hope when you feel up to it you will adopt another animal. That might be the good that comes from this. You will find another friend to save and love. That might be Picasso's gift to you and another animal.
My best to you.
Jennifer
It is very unfair what happened to your dog. I understand how angry you are. I don't know why things happen to such innocent creatures. It isn't fair. You are right.
You should be happy that you gave Picasso the chance to have a life. You gave him more of a life than if you never would have adopted him. He had the chance to be loved and cared for instead of staying in a cage all day. He was probably more happy in the short time you had him than any other time in his life. He had no quality of life before you found him. You gave his life quality. So did your father. Accidents happen. Try not to hold it against your father.
I'm sorry you could not find someone with enough compassion to help Picasso. That breaks my heart.
I hope when you feel up to it you will adopt another animal. That might be the good that comes from this. You will find another friend to save and love. That might be Picasso's gift to you and another animal.
My best to you.
Jennifer
Hi Dear Amber:
I read your post earlier today (10/7), and I heard so much pain and sadness; you had been through so much trauma and are feeling desperately overwhelmed, I just didn't have enough time to sit down and write more than a few words - So, I wanted to wait until I could write more than a few words.....
I'm sorry for the delay....
As I was reading your horrible story - my heart was breaking for you, and for your dad....
July 31, 2004................what a happy day that was ---- You were going to save a wonderful life.... The life of your new furdog
, Picasso!!!! You did "save him", and I hope that you will always know how wonderful that was to hear!!!! God Bless You!!!!
I can honestly understand your dad "not liking a dog initially, (putting down his foot & all), living at home -- even though you'll be moving out shortly and getting married..................That's just the way (some dad's) are....."
And, I can also understand, your dad, at his age, falling in love with a sweet, loveable "furdog", like I'm sure that your Picasso was!!!! Our dad's can be "softies", even though they are from the "old days".....
Unfortunately, a car accident can cause SO MUCH DAMAGE that you cannot see with your eyes. Broken bones we can usually see..........but, if Picasso's back legs were bleeding, and you saw blood and clots coming out from his penis, chances are that he definitely had severe damage to his kidneys & bladder.
I CAN FEEL YOUR ANGER, NO QUESTION........ I would be quite pissed off myself that you tried & tried to reach a veterinarian to help you...............but, you couldn't get in contact with anyone!!!!!!!
Amber, please believe me when I say that your sweet, beautiful Picasso KNEW THAT YOU LOVED HIM, AND YOU LOVED HIM WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!
As you were holding him, comforting and loving him on your way to the vet 30 minutes away, you were with him, the person that Picasso LOVED MOST, even though your beloved Picasso passed away 5 minutes en route.
Picasso knew that you were with him and comforting him.....
I know and can imagine that even what I just said probably doesn't feel like much, or feel helpful to you........I wish it did...........
It sounds like everything during that time was sooooooooooooooooo damn overwhelming........
And, I am very, very sorry!!!! I am sorry that you had to go through all that stress & pain, Amber!!!!
I am sure that your dad feels absolutely alone & horrible..... He finally felt a bond with Picasso (my dad is 10 years younger than yours - and my dad is in a Nursing Home........), and I know my dad would feel just the same way your dad is feeling.
And, I couldn't get outwardly mad at my father.... I just couldn't...
I'm glad that you are "being kind" to your dad right now, even though you are extremely angry.....
He surely did not mean to call Picasso...... I think DEEP IN YOUR HEART, you know that!!
It was an accident............Accidents happen sooooooo often.... Even saying that doesn't mean anything right now - I know that, Amber!!
I glanced at some of your replies that you have received, and you have received a lot of helpful & wise advice. If you had to come to a pet grief site at all, (I say it all the time), but, I am very, very happy that you found your way here........
There's no question, as you say, "You are grief stricken"............. I don't believe that God made this happen to Picasso..........I really don't....
You said that you have lost your faith...........but, I believe that Faith is what will help you get through this awful time.
You are sooooooooooooooooooooo very, very angry right now...........and, I think you will be for quite awhile!!!!
We at Lightning-Strike, we are always here for you............to help you, as we have all helped one another....
Write in here..............as much as you want..........as long as you want.....
The most important thing right now for you is to GET EVERYTHING OFF OF YOUR CHEST...............
DON'T KEEP "ANYTHING BREWING IN THERE".... Okay????????
It isn't healthy at all to keep anger "all tensed up in your body......." Just write & write.....
Will you do that?????
I have to believe that the woman who hit Picasso is feeling quite badly and really didn't mean to do it. It was an accident..... And, it wasn't anyone's fault.....
Right now, that day will most likely be "the crappiest day in your life", thus far....
In answer to your last sentence regarding God..................
I truthfully believe that "our God" is a "very, very loving God!!!!!!
I believe (I had read this in a magazine), that when our "furbabies" go to Heaven, SOMETIMES they are there because
a human child has passed away, and God feels that they need a special playmate......
And, when a furbaby (or any of God's wonderful and miraculous creatures.....a hamster, gerbil, fish, ferret, etc., etc...), go to Heaven, little children and furbabies are introduced, and until such time that WE GET TO HEAVEN, TO MEET UP WITH OUR FURKIDS.......
God entrusts these little children with our furkids............To keep them company....To play with.....
And, when it's our time to go to Heaven.............(I know that your sweet, darling Picasso wants you to have a very, very long & beautiful life) -------- we will then be connected again with our "kids", where we will walk into Eternity together, forever.
Sometimes, that's how I like to think of it, when a child passes on to Heaven...
Amber, everything that happened is so very new & raw & painful........"feels like sharp cuts".....
You have been through sooooooooooo very much; Please try and be very kind and gentle with yourself right now, and also, with your dad. You have been very good to your daddy so far. He's feeling pain, just like you are.
You are in my thoughts and in my prayers,
Please, keep in contact here, and let us know how you are doing.... Okay??
Goodnight and God Bless you.
Love, Denise
I read your post earlier today (10/7), and I heard so much pain and sadness; you had been through so much trauma and are feeling desperately overwhelmed, I just didn't have enough time to sit down and write more than a few words - So, I wanted to wait until I could write more than a few words.....
I'm sorry for the delay....
As I was reading your horrible story - my heart was breaking for you, and for your dad....
July 31, 2004................what a happy day that was ---- You were going to save a wonderful life.... The life of your new furdog
, Picasso!!!! You did "save him", and I hope that you will always know how wonderful that was to hear!!!! God Bless You!!!!I can honestly understand your dad "not liking a dog initially, (putting down his foot & all), living at home -- even though you'll be moving out shortly and getting married..................That's just the way (some dad's) are....."
And, I can also understand, your dad, at his age, falling in love with a sweet, loveable "furdog", like I'm sure that your Picasso was!!!!
Our dad's can be "softies", even though they are from the "old days".....Unfortunately, a car accident can cause SO MUCH DAMAGE that you cannot see with your eyes. Broken bones we can usually see..........but, if Picasso's back legs were bleeding, and you saw blood and clots coming out from his penis, chances are that he definitely had severe damage to his kidneys & bladder.
I CAN FEEL YOUR ANGER, NO QUESTION........ I would be quite pissed off myself that you tried & tried to reach a veterinarian to help you...............but, you couldn't get in contact with anyone!!!!!!!
Amber, please believe me when I say that your sweet, beautiful Picasso KNEW THAT YOU LOVED HIM, AND YOU LOVED HIM WITH ALL OF YOUR HEART!!!!!!!!
As you were holding him, comforting and loving him on your way to the vet 30 minutes away, you were with him, the person that Picasso LOVED MOST, even though your beloved Picasso passed away 5 minutes en route.
Picasso knew that you were with him and comforting him.....
I know and can imagine that even what I just said probably doesn't feel like much, or feel helpful to you........I wish it did...........
It sounds like everything during that time was sooooooooooooooooo damn overwhelming........
And, I am very, very sorry!!!! I am sorry that you had to go through all that stress & pain, Amber!!!!
I am sure that your dad feels absolutely alone & horrible..... He finally felt a bond with Picasso (my dad is 10 years younger than yours - and my dad is in a Nursing Home........), and I know my dad would feel just the same way your dad is feeling.
And, I couldn't get outwardly mad at my father.... I just couldn't...
I'm glad that you are "being kind" to your dad right now, even though you are extremely angry.....
He surely did not mean to call Picasso...... I think DEEP IN YOUR HEART, you know that!!
It was an accident............Accidents happen sooooooo often.... Even saying that doesn't mean anything right now - I know that, Amber!!
I glanced at some of your replies that you have received, and you have received a lot of helpful & wise advice. If you had to come to a pet grief site at all, (I say it all the time), but, I am very, very happy that you found your way here........
There's no question, as you say, "You are grief stricken"............. I don't believe that God made this happen to Picasso..........I really don't....
You said that you have lost your faith...........but, I believe that Faith is what will help you get through this awful time.
You are sooooooooooooooooooooo very, very angry right now...........and, I think you will be for quite awhile!!!!
We at Lightning-Strike, we are always here for you............to help you, as we have all helped one another....
Write in here..............as much as you want..........as long as you want.....
The most important thing right now for you is to GET EVERYTHING OFF OF YOUR CHEST...............
DON'T KEEP "ANYTHING BREWING IN THERE".... Okay????????
It isn't healthy at all to keep anger "all tensed up in your body......." Just write & write.....
Will you do that?????
I have to believe that the woman who hit Picasso is feeling quite badly and really didn't mean to do it. It was an accident..... And, it wasn't anyone's fault.....
Right now, that day will most likely be "the crappiest day in your life", thus far....
In answer to your last sentence regarding God..................
I truthfully believe that "our God" is a "very, very loving God!!!!!!
I believe (I had read this in a magazine), that when our "furbabies" go to Heaven, SOMETIMES they are there because
a human child has passed away, and God feels that they need a special playmate......
And, when a furbaby (or any of God's wonderful and miraculous creatures.....a hamster, gerbil, fish, ferret, etc., etc...), go to Heaven, little children and furbabies are introduced, and until such time that WE GET TO HEAVEN, TO MEET UP WITH OUR FURKIDS.......
God entrusts these little children with our furkids............To keep them company....To play with.....
And, when it's our time to go to Heaven.............(I know that your sweet, darling Picasso wants you to have a very, very long & beautiful life) -------- we will then be connected again with our "kids", where we will walk into Eternity together, forever.
Sometimes, that's how I like to think of it, when a child passes on to Heaven...
Amber, everything that happened is so very new & raw & painful........"feels like sharp cuts".....
You have been through sooooooooooo very much; Please try and be very kind and gentle with yourself right now, and also, with your dad. You have been very good to your daddy so far. He's feeling pain, just like you are.
You are in my thoughts and in my prayers,
Please, keep in contact here, and let us know how you are doing.... Okay??
Goodnight and God Bless you.
Love, Denise
hi all
am i suppose to keep typing in this thread or make a new one? im confused to how its suppose to work, also how do you guys put pictures of your pets by your name? i would put a picture of picasso up so you could see him if i knew how
I would like to thank everyone who have said kind words to me, i dont think i will ever "get over" loosing picasso, i think people who say u get over things like that, dont really love animals or understand the depth of grief that us true animal lovers feel
My dad is not doing any better, he bursts into tears constantly and talks about " his boy" , he called Picasso "boy" . Today i watched Er with my dad, i have been trying to spend alot of my time in the evening with him because my mom wont , and he has no one else, and i know he is terribly lonely without Picasso .
I want to get a new dog for myself and for my dad, i will get one for myself later david ( the man im marrying in december), he says once he gets to america we can go together and pick one out
I need to get my dad one, he is open to having a new dog, but the problem is my brother kasey brought him a chihuahua and its really shy, is nothing like our picasso,( plus picasso was a mix and had jack russel qualities) and my dad did not take to it , weve had her about 3 days now
i love all animals so i hate saying it, but the " new dog" is really not what my dad needed , she is shy, not vocal, was apparently kept in a backyard, never walked, she does not play, or know what toys are, she was completely neglected, she does not even know what wearing a colar or being on a leash to walk is
she is apparently a year old, but she is missing teeth, and acts beat down, so i am sure she has been beat silly by some sadistic horrible person ......so my mom has taken her over, and she has a good home now, im sure she will warm up in time
im glad she is with us now, she wont be abused and in time will have a really good life, once she is not scared all she needs is love
my question is, i dont really know alot about dogs, Picasso was my only dog, Ive been told he was jack russel, but other people say he is Rat Terrier , i dont know which he was, he looked alot like QuakerParrots dog Dexter, except he was shorter, pure white, and had a chihuahua's head....
i assume his personality, and the noises he made (he was Very vocal) were due to his breed so i need one of you dog " experts" to tell me exactly what he was so i can search the website where i found Picasso for one
I know the dog i end up getting for my dad is going to have to be just like Picasso or my dad wont take to it, if its housebroken, smart, vocal, friendly, plays with toys, does tricks, and will sleep on his lap every second of the day, it will be a perfect fit for my dad.....
so i dunno its impossible to replace Picasso, but i think he would be happy with a lapdog , who was smart and vocal, even if it didnt do the rest of the things, and i could work on teaching it things even if it didnt know tricks
To give you all a idea how friendly Picasso was, i live in a small town, he was totally popular, my dad use to drive up to the bank and Picasso would go to the window for his treat, well about three weeks before Picasso died my dad went to the bank, he walked in, and the women in the bank said wheres the little guy, my dad said in the car, and they asked him to bring Picasso into the bank so they could make a big deal of him, feed him treats and touch him
well the day after Picasso died, my dad went through the drive thru and one of the woman that loved Picasso said wheres the little guy, and my dad started crying and told her he was hit by a car and died, and the woman burst into tears
i need a dog that is so friendly that everyone loves him , and i dunno if its just this new chihuahua was abused and is not friendly, or if picasso was just more of another breed, his personality i mean ......
I was really amazed, the woman at the bank sent my dad a card that said sorry for his loss of " his little boy" , she didnt know it was my dog, she must have looked at my dads account and got his address....i thought that was so sweet im going to send her a thank you card , and im putting her card in the scrapbook im making full of Picasso's stuff
I only have about 9 pictures of Picasso, but im putting his adoption certificate, his shot record, and his neuter record in also. I normally take hundreds of pictures, i have about 8 books full of pictures of my cat Orlando, but i never expected Picasso to die so young , i thought i had time
On a up note, i found 5 small videos of Picasso i took with my webcam, they are only 9 seconds long each, and not great quality, but you can see him chewing stuff, i watch them everyday. atleast i get to see him alive again
They were taken Sept 9, so just 20 days before he died, my favorite one, im holding this little tiny Kermit the Frog toy, and Picasso is sitting on my lap, im jerking it back and forth and he is trying to get it , nipping at it and i say " Is that Kermit" ? and he goes arrrrrrrrrr lol its the only video that has his precious little voice on it , its my favorite thing in the world
It makes me miss him but it helps me so much to be able to see him moving, and hear him , i start crying everytime i watch them but i cant stop watching them , if i dont i feel worse, its a double edge sword i guess
im really kind of shocked, people who you think would send you a card, people im close to, they say nothing ....... and a total stranger sends one about him ..... to me that shows how he touched so many people, and im proud of him for that
well this is getting long, i will check back later for your responses, im going to go comment on some of your stories, i find reading your stories hurt me terribly, but it helps to talk to all of you on here because you understand, you all loved your pets as much as i loved Picasso...... so its not like talking to someone that thinks its Just a dog, or just a cat........ i get so mad when someone says that to me
well im off
thanks
amber
am i suppose to keep typing in this thread or make a new one? im confused to how its suppose to work, also how do you guys put pictures of your pets by your name? i would put a picture of picasso up so you could see him if i knew how
I would like to thank everyone who have said kind words to me, i dont think i will ever "get over" loosing picasso, i think people who say u get over things like that, dont really love animals or understand the depth of grief that us true animal lovers feel
My dad is not doing any better, he bursts into tears constantly and talks about " his boy" , he called Picasso "boy" . Today i watched Er with my dad, i have been trying to spend alot of my time in the evening with him because my mom wont , and he has no one else, and i know he is terribly lonely without Picasso .
I want to get a new dog for myself and for my dad, i will get one for myself later david ( the man im marrying in december), he says once he gets to america we can go together and pick one out
I need to get my dad one, he is open to having a new dog, but the problem is my brother kasey brought him a chihuahua and its really shy, is nothing like our picasso,( plus picasso was a mix and had jack russel qualities) and my dad did not take to it , weve had her about 3 days now
i love all animals so i hate saying it, but the " new dog" is really not what my dad needed , she is shy, not vocal, was apparently kept in a backyard, never walked, she does not play, or know what toys are, she was completely neglected, she does not even know what wearing a colar or being on a leash to walk is
she is apparently a year old, but she is missing teeth, and acts beat down, so i am sure she has been beat silly by some sadistic horrible person ......so my mom has taken her over, and she has a good home now, im sure she will warm up in time
im glad she is with us now, she wont be abused and in time will have a really good life, once she is not scared all she needs is love
my question is, i dont really know alot about dogs, Picasso was my only dog, Ive been told he was jack russel, but other people say he is Rat Terrier , i dont know which he was, he looked alot like QuakerParrots dog Dexter, except he was shorter, pure white, and had a chihuahua's head....
i assume his personality, and the noises he made (he was Very vocal) were due to his breed so i need one of you dog " experts" to tell me exactly what he was so i can search the website where i found Picasso for one
I know the dog i end up getting for my dad is going to have to be just like Picasso or my dad wont take to it, if its housebroken, smart, vocal, friendly, plays with toys, does tricks, and will sleep on his lap every second of the day, it will be a perfect fit for my dad.....
so i dunno its impossible to replace Picasso, but i think he would be happy with a lapdog , who was smart and vocal, even if it didnt do the rest of the things, and i could work on teaching it things even if it didnt know tricks
To give you all a idea how friendly Picasso was, i live in a small town, he was totally popular, my dad use to drive up to the bank and Picasso would go to the window for his treat, well about three weeks before Picasso died my dad went to the bank, he walked in, and the women in the bank said wheres the little guy, my dad said in the car, and they asked him to bring Picasso into the bank so they could make a big deal of him, feed him treats and touch him
well the day after Picasso died, my dad went through the drive thru and one of the woman that loved Picasso said wheres the little guy, and my dad started crying and told her he was hit by a car and died, and the woman burst into tears
i need a dog that is so friendly that everyone loves him , and i dunno if its just this new chihuahua was abused and is not friendly, or if picasso was just more of another breed, his personality i mean ......
I was really amazed, the woman at the bank sent my dad a card that said sorry for his loss of " his little boy" , she didnt know it was my dog, she must have looked at my dads account and got his address....i thought that was so sweet im going to send her a thank you card , and im putting her card in the scrapbook im making full of Picasso's stuff
I only have about 9 pictures of Picasso, but im putting his adoption certificate, his shot record, and his neuter record in also. I normally take hundreds of pictures, i have about 8 books full of pictures of my cat Orlando, but i never expected Picasso to die so young , i thought i had time
On a up note, i found 5 small videos of Picasso i took with my webcam, they are only 9 seconds long each, and not great quality, but you can see him chewing stuff, i watch them everyday. atleast i get to see him alive again
They were taken Sept 9, so just 20 days before he died, my favorite one, im holding this little tiny Kermit the Frog toy, and Picasso is sitting on my lap, im jerking it back and forth and he is trying to get it , nipping at it and i say " Is that Kermit" ? and he goes arrrrrrrrrr lol its the only video that has his precious little voice on it , its my favorite thing in the world
It makes me miss him but it helps me so much to be able to see him moving, and hear him , i start crying everytime i watch them but i cant stop watching them , if i dont i feel worse, its a double edge sword i guess
im really kind of shocked, people who you think would send you a card, people im close to, they say nothing ....... and a total stranger sends one about him ..... to me that shows how he touched so many people, and im proud of him for that
well this is getting long, i will check back later for your responses, im going to go comment on some of your stories, i find reading your stories hurt me terribly, but it helps to talk to all of you on here because you understand, you all loved your pets as much as i loved Picasso...... so its not like talking to someone that thinks its Just a dog, or just a cat........ i get so mad when someone says that to me
well im off
thanks
amber
Hi Amber, yes just continuing on with your thread (that's what these things are called within the forums) is just fine. It makes it easier to find responses when you don't have too many threads going at one time. Saves some confusion, or so I think anyway.
I've had serveral dogs but they have been medium to large, not necesarily what I would call lap dogs altho you couldn't have told that to them. I've made a few ovbservations through the years of owning and looking at dogs in general. Mutts are quite often better than a purebred... they just seem to be less high strung and less prone to hereditary problems and certainly alot less expensive to acquire in the first place. Small dogs in general (purebread or mutts) tend to be more on the vocal side. It's too bad the little dog that was given to you had been abused, normally chihuahuas tend to be 'yappy' (not a characteristic that I look for myself). Obviously a puppy will be out of the question with all the training requirements. Shelters will probably be your best bet. I have never looked any online pictures from shelters, perhaps a google search will come up with some links. You rescued Picasso, looks like you might be able to rescue another.
Oh and quite often, shelters have an adoption period, where you can take the critter home for a 'test drives' at home while you decide the compatibility issues. Check with the shelter on this one.
As far as your little picture by your name (called an avatar), there is a hard way to do it and an easy way... the hard way requires that you take your picture and crop or adjust the size so that it's 160x160 pixels and either upload to this site or have it uploaded to your own website (through your ISP) and then use a link to the URL. The easy way would be to get hold of LS Support and ask if they can do it. You can either PM (private message) LS Support or go to the techincal support forum and ask there. LS Support could probably add a larger picture to your thread if you have one. Hehe they might be able to host one of your video clips too but that might be pushing it
I've had serveral dogs but they have been medium to large, not necesarily what I would call lap dogs altho you couldn't have told that to them. I've made a few ovbservations through the years of owning and looking at dogs in general. Mutts are quite often better than a purebred... they just seem to be less high strung and less prone to hereditary problems and certainly alot less expensive to acquire in the first place. Small dogs in general (purebread or mutts) tend to be more on the vocal side. It's too bad the little dog that was given to you had been abused, normally chihuahuas tend to be 'yappy' (not a characteristic that I look for myself). Obviously a puppy will be out of the question with all the training requirements. Shelters will probably be your best bet. I have never looked any online pictures from shelters, perhaps a google search will come up with some links. You rescued Picasso, looks like you might be able to rescue another.
Oh and quite often, shelters have an adoption period, where you can take the critter home for a 'test drives' at home while you decide the compatibility issues. Check with the shelter on this one.
As far as your little picture by your name (called an avatar), there is a hard way to do it and an easy way... the hard way requires that you take your picture and crop or adjust the size so that it's 160x160 pixels and either upload to this site or have it uploaded to your own website (through your ISP) and then use a link to the URL. The easy way would be to get hold of LS Support and ask if they can do it. You can either PM (private message) LS Support or go to the techincal support forum and ask there. LS Support could probably add a larger picture to your thread if you have one. Hehe they might be able to host one of your video clips too but that might be pushing it
Hi Amber,
I think getting your dad another dog is a wonderful idea! I know many people have different feelings about getting another pet so soon. I want to get another female black lab puppy. The only reason I haven't done it yet, is because we are taking a cruise in December and I don't want to go off and leave a puppy when I have to travel. We currently have a black lab that is 3 years old now. He loves to play and I feel bad for him now that he no longer has company during the day while we are at work and he has nobody to play with in the yard. I feel we need to get another dog for him as well as for us. I think your father would feel the same. He misses the company of his "little boy". I don't think you'll find another dog with the same special traits that Picasso had, but each one has their own personality and traits. Try to research the different breeds on the internet. You are lucky because you already know what traits you want in a dog. I think Gort had a wonderful suggestion about visiting the animal shelters. They usually have a small history on the dog....likes kids, doesn't like other pets, etc.... I'm sure they would let you take the dog home for a trial period. Then, not only would you be bringing back joy into your dad's life, you would also be rescuing a dog that needed a good home. That would bring wonderful feelings too.
Cheri
I think getting your dad another dog is a wonderful idea! I know many people have different feelings about getting another pet so soon. I want to get another female black lab puppy. The only reason I haven't done it yet, is because we are taking a cruise in December and I don't want to go off and leave a puppy when I have to travel. We currently have a black lab that is 3 years old now. He loves to play and I feel bad for him now that he no longer has company during the day while we are at work and he has nobody to play with in the yard. I feel we need to get another dog for him as well as for us. I think your father would feel the same. He misses the company of his "little boy". I don't think you'll find another dog with the same special traits that Picasso had, but each one has their own personality and traits. Try to research the different breeds on the internet. You are lucky because you already know what traits you want in a dog. I think Gort had a wonderful suggestion about visiting the animal shelters. They usually have a small history on the dog....likes kids, doesn't like other pets, etc.... I'm sure they would let you take the dog home for a trial period. Then, not only would you be bringing back joy into your dad's life, you would also be rescuing a dog that needed a good home. That would bring wonderful feelings too.
Cheri
Hi
Amber--I can't write long this morning but I just wanted to say I agree it is a GOOD idea to get your dad another dog (normally I would say no--wait--but for gosh sakes your dad is 83)
I wouldn't try to "match" Picasso perfectly--that is just too tall an order--but your local pound is SURE to have a really friendly dog waiting for a 2nd chance!
send me the photo you want for your avatar and I can adjust the size for you--make sure it is saved as a jpeg or jpg. click on my name to email me
Amber--I can't write long this morning but I just wanted to say I agree it is a GOOD idea to get your dad another dog (normally I would say no--wait--but for gosh sakes your dad is 83)
I wouldn't try to "match" Picasso perfectly--that is just too tall an order--but your local pound is SURE to have a really friendly dog waiting for a 2nd chance!
send me the photo you want for your avatar and I can adjust the size for you--make sure it is saved as a jpeg or jpg. click on my name to email me
You're poor lovely picasso he sounds like a lovely boy im so terribly sorry for what happend to him and i know how you fell amber!
Just remember you saved his life at the begining and in a way you saved his life at the end he was loved when he died he wasnt alone, you was with him the whole way and he thanks you for that he loves you so much and he is with you!
Just rember the puupy you got youre dad you dont want him to be like picasso nothing could ever replace youre little baby all animals are individuals, sit down with youre dad and say would you really want youre new puppy to be like picasso, picasso is irplassible if you could get any dog and it would be like him picasso wouldnt have been special and himself and he was an adorbale and loving dog!
Picasso knows you love him and he'l never stop loving you!
Love Jaymie x
Just remember you saved his life at the begining and in a way you saved his life at the end he was loved when he died he wasnt alone, you was with him the whole way and he thanks you for that he loves you so much and he is with you!
Just rember the puupy you got youre dad you dont want him to be like picasso nothing could ever replace youre little baby all animals are individuals, sit down with youre dad and say would you really want youre new puppy to be like picasso, picasso is irplassible if you could get any dog and it would be like him picasso wouldnt have been special and himself and he was an adorbale and loving dog!
Picasso knows you love him and he'l never stop loving you!
Love Jaymie x
hi all
i need some advice, i got the shock of my life today, when the animal clinic that we took Picasso too sent me a bill for $118.11. The bill was not itemized, but im sure they have charged me for an emergency visit, which i dont see how they could when the man that tried to help Picasso was a stander by and didnt work for them.
The only thing they were out on Picasso, was a Iv, a shot for shock, oxygen, and the heat from the exam table, i dont see how the bill could add up to $118.11. Please dont get me wrong, im not cheap
i have a cat that has been treated by that same clinic, his bills were over $600.00 , and i had it paid down under $300 on a payment plan, now my bill is back over $400.00 , so its not a matter of im not willing to pay for my pets care
its just i dont feel they have the right to charge me for a vets services which is what they must have done, when they didnt have a vet there.
also Picasso had medical Insurance, which i told them when i got there, i told them to do anything it took, he had insurance. I got the insurance for free for two months when i adopted him, and the two months were not up when he died.....
so he is covered, i would only have to pay the first $50.00 which is fair enough, that would probably cover his iv,shot,oxygen,and heat, which i truely do owe for, but i dont feel i owe this money no matter who is paying it , and im not going to allow them to frauduently charge a pet insurance company, because then it raises all of our pet premiums .....
so what should i do ? I know i need to see an itemized list first thing, but seeing the limited care Picasso got, i know what they have done, and im already heartbroken and furious that no one would help me that day ...i dont think i will hold my cool very well
i feel like telling them Picasso could have internally bled to death at home, and you have the gaul to try to charge me for it , anyways im completely shocked
also David the man im marrying in December is british, i have to work, and have good credit because he is dependant on me, atleast until he becomes a perminant resident and can work , and i really cant afford to get a bad mark on my credit as i dont think his credit from england makes a difference here.... so i would like to work this out without getting a bad mark if possible
But im not paying for services that Picasso didnt get, if a vet would have been there ,and been honest with me that Picasso had no chance , instead of saying he has to stablize and driving off , i would have had Picasso put to sleep.
i would never had let him lay there and bleed to death, im not paying for it on top of it ..... ive talked to david and he also agree's im not being dramatic and there is no way i owe that much .......
any idea's?
thanks
amber
i need some advice, i got the shock of my life today, when the animal clinic that we took Picasso too sent me a bill for $118.11. The bill was not itemized, but im sure they have charged me for an emergency visit, which i dont see how they could when the man that tried to help Picasso was a stander by and didnt work for them.
The only thing they were out on Picasso, was a Iv, a shot for shock, oxygen, and the heat from the exam table, i dont see how the bill could add up to $118.11. Please dont get me wrong, im not cheap
i have a cat that has been treated by that same clinic, his bills were over $600.00 , and i had it paid down under $300 on a payment plan, now my bill is back over $400.00 , so its not a matter of im not willing to pay for my pets care
its just i dont feel they have the right to charge me for a vets services which is what they must have done, when they didnt have a vet there.
also Picasso had medical Insurance, which i told them when i got there, i told them to do anything it took, he had insurance. I got the insurance for free for two months when i adopted him, and the two months were not up when he died.....
so he is covered, i would only have to pay the first $50.00 which is fair enough, that would probably cover his iv,shot,oxygen,and heat, which i truely do owe for, but i dont feel i owe this money no matter who is paying it , and im not going to allow them to frauduently charge a pet insurance company, because then it raises all of our pet premiums .....
so what should i do ? I know i need to see an itemized list first thing, but seeing the limited care Picasso got, i know what they have done, and im already heartbroken and furious that no one would help me that day ...i dont think i will hold my cool very well
i feel like telling them Picasso could have internally bled to death at home, and you have the gaul to try to charge me for it , anyways im completely shocked
also David the man im marrying in December is british, i have to work, and have good credit because he is dependant on me, atleast until he becomes a perminant resident and can work , and i really cant afford to get a bad mark on my credit as i dont think his credit from england makes a difference here.... so i would like to work this out without getting a bad mark if possible
But im not paying for services that Picasso didnt get, if a vet would have been there ,and been honest with me that Picasso had no chance , instead of saying he has to stablize and driving off , i would have had Picasso put to sleep.
i would never had let him lay there and bleed to death, im not paying for it on top of it ..... ive talked to david and he also agree's im not being dramatic and there is no way i owe that much .......
any idea's?
thanks
amber
Oh that is really out of order theyve charged you loads and they didnt even do anything to help you.
there either really poor at maths or there trying to con you!
How are you today?
remenber you can talk to us whenever you want to!
love Jay
there either really poor at maths or there trying to con you!
How are you today?
remenber you can talk to us whenever you want to!
love Jay
im ok
Hi Amber,
In order for you to handle this properly you need to write a letter to contest the fees to the veternarian. It needs to outline precisely how and why you are objecting to the costs. This is alot of work but necessary for you to do if you do not intend to pay part of the bill. Tell them in the letter what if anything you are willing to pay and send it registered mail. You could also tell them you are thinking of complaining to the medical examiners office for what you believe was incorrect handling of the emergency. After they have time to digest this they might send you an amended bill or keep on asking for the same amount. If you have a copy of the registered letter with the receipt you are protected. If they turn you over to a collection agency you must write to the collection agency a cease and desist letter* (again sending it registered) if you do all this you are protected and they can't ruin your credit.
* a cease and desist letter is a specific letter/form to inform collection agencies that you dispute the charges and will not deal with anyone but the veternarian's office.
In order for you to handle this properly you need to write a letter to contest the fees to the veternarian. It needs to outline precisely how and why you are objecting to the costs. This is alot of work but necessary for you to do if you do not intend to pay part of the bill. Tell them in the letter what if anything you are willing to pay and send it registered mail. You could also tell them you are thinking of complaining to the medical examiners office for what you believe was incorrect handling of the emergency. After they have time to digest this they might send you an amended bill or keep on asking for the same amount. If you have a copy of the registered letter with the receipt you are protected. If they turn you over to a collection agency you must write to the collection agency a cease and desist letter* (again sending it registered) if you do all this you are protected and they can't ruin your credit.
* a cease and desist letter is a specific letter/form to inform collection agencies that you dispute the charges and will not deal with anyone but the veternarian's office.
hi
thanks for the info on the official way to go about this. i will get right on it .
i have another question for you guys.....
i had a weird experience , i went into a bead store with my cousin valerie, i do not bead, i was just with her, there were rows and rows of beads, there has to be millions....... well i started walking around and my eye caught a bead....
so i went over , it was the first thing i looked at ....... it was a pink shaped heart bead with brown around the edges....... and then i looked at the name ....it was called "Picasso's Heart" .......now i think my dog sent me to that bead, so i bought two of them and my mom is going to make me earrings out of them ......
i mean maybe its a coinincidence......but ..... i think that would be hard to believe since there were millions of beads, and the name Picasso is fairly rare , atleast i think it is ...... not that widely used........
anyways my family thinks im crazy ....they say the dead know nothing........and my dad does not even believe animals have souls......... just humans do he says......... so i got into this huge arguement because it was just too random not to be contact from my dog ........
have you guys had any thing like that happen to you ......? do you believe animals can contact you ? Also tomorrow in my town a woman is coming ....she claims to be a witch/psychic........do you think she could possibly contact Picasso if i went ........
I told david i wanted to go but he said its a scam and they just lie to you and asked me not to go because they would just upset me . but i dont see how it could be a scam as the woman is coming into town to give a free educational talk, and is not charging anything ......so why would she lie ? Do you guys think i should go?
ok
thanks
amber
thanks for the info on the official way to go about this. i will get right on it .
i have another question for you guys.....
i had a weird experience , i went into a bead store with my cousin valerie, i do not bead, i was just with her, there were rows and rows of beads, there has to be millions....... well i started walking around and my eye caught a bead....
so i went over , it was the first thing i looked at ....... it was a pink shaped heart bead with brown around the edges....... and then i looked at the name ....it was called "Picasso's Heart" .......now i think my dog sent me to that bead, so i bought two of them and my mom is going to make me earrings out of them ......
i mean maybe its a coinincidence......but ..... i think that would be hard to believe since there were millions of beads, and the name Picasso is fairly rare , atleast i think it is ...... not that widely used........
anyways my family thinks im crazy ....they say the dead know nothing........and my dad does not even believe animals have souls......... just humans do he says......... so i got into this huge arguement because it was just too random not to be contact from my dog ........
have you guys had any thing like that happen to you ......? do you believe animals can contact you ? Also tomorrow in my town a woman is coming ....she claims to be a witch/psychic........do you think she could possibly contact Picasso if i went ........
I told david i wanted to go but he said its a scam and they just lie to you and asked me not to go because they would just upset me . but i dont see how it could be a scam as the woman is coming into town to give a free educational talk, and is not charging anything ......so why would she lie ? Do you guys think i should go?
ok
thanks
amber
Amber,
First I want to say that I really feel for all you've been through. I'm so sorry!
You did all the right things, and Picasso knows that. You did the right things for him and for your Dad. You are truly a wonderful person, and very very mature to be able to treat your Dad with such compassion even though you're naturally angry and have every right to be. I'm glad you have each other to get through this. And as others have said here, Picasso took great comfort that you were with him. He felt it, I know.
Animals have souls, I have no doubts. Picasso is still with you because his soul is very much alive, and there is no time and space in the realm he's in. Also, as Patti said, he's 100% in bliss---no emotional or physical pain. When it's your time, you'll be fully reunited. And the same when it's your Dad's time (then he'll find out that animals have souls!
).
I definitely believe that Picasso led you to that heart. I have had several things like that happen since my Little Girl passed on in March (I think I wrote about one or two of them in a thread entitled "Pain and Comfort").
I believe he will help lead you to the "right" furdog to adopt, and your eventual love for this new soul will be in honor of your forever love for Picasso. Picasso knows the new one isn't a replacement; he or she will be another needy soul to be rescued and will comfort your Dad immensely.
As far as your experiences with the vet go, try what Patti has advised. I have had a couple of horrible experiences with vets (lack of compassion toward me and my pet, and downright cruel billing incidents) and I really empathize with what you're dealing with.
We are all here for you!! Keep writing.
Love and prayers coming your way,
Kathy
First I want to say that I really feel for all you've been through. I'm so sorry!
You did all the right things, and Picasso knows that. You did the right things for him and for your Dad. You are truly a wonderful person, and very very mature to be able to treat your Dad with such compassion even though you're naturally angry and have every right to be. I'm glad you have each other to get through this. And as others have said here, Picasso took great comfort that you were with him. He felt it, I know.
Animals have souls, I have no doubts. Picasso is still with you because his soul is very much alive, and there is no time and space in the realm he's in. Also, as Patti said, he's 100% in bliss---no emotional or physical pain. When it's your time, you'll be fully reunited. And the same when it's your Dad's time (then he'll find out that animals have souls!
).I definitely believe that Picasso led you to that heart. I have had several things like that happen since my Little Girl passed on in March (I think I wrote about one or two of them in a thread entitled "Pain and Comfort").
I believe he will help lead you to the "right" furdog to adopt, and your eventual love for this new soul will be in honor of your forever love for Picasso. Picasso knows the new one isn't a replacement; he or she will be another needy soul to be rescued and will comfort your Dad immensely.
As far as your experiences with the vet go, try what Patti has advised. I have had a couple of horrible experiences with vets (lack of compassion toward me and my pet, and downright cruel billing incidents) and I really empathize with what you're dealing with.
We are all here for you!! Keep writing.
Love and prayers coming your way,
Kathy
Hi Amber,
I hope you are feeling better. I think getting a new dog for your father is a wonderful idea, he really needs a little buddy to spend his days with. I love Jack Russells, which I believe you said Picasso was. They are so full of energy and so very smart. We had a Miniature Schnauzer, which has many of the same traits as Jack Russells, so if you come across one at your local shelter, have a look, I promise you won't be disappointed
About animals having souls, I too had been struggling with this. I am a Christian and belive in God and the teachings of the Bible, but just wasn't sure where animals stood in the grand plan. After much searching and talking with friends and family, who truly believe that animals were sent from heaven in the first place, I believe they are in heaven and will be waiting on us when we journey from this life!! I also purchased a book, through a link on this website to Amazon.com, called "Cold noses at the Pearly Gates". I've only begun reading it, but can recommend to anyone having doubts about this very thing.
I KNOW that your Picasso sent you to those beads and love that you are having earrings made. I had a strange and comforting thing happen which I posted under the Memorial thread called "Comfort in strange places". I know it was a specific sign, since I've been struggling with the "do dogs go to heaven" question. Keep posting, it really helps to talk about your feelings with people who understand.
Thinking of you!
Libby
I hope you are feeling better. I think getting a new dog for your father is a wonderful idea, he really needs a little buddy to spend his days with. I love Jack Russells, which I believe you said Picasso was. They are so full of energy and so very smart. We had a Miniature Schnauzer, which has many of the same traits as Jack Russells, so if you come across one at your local shelter, have a look, I promise you won't be disappointed
About animals having souls, I too had been struggling with this. I am a Christian and belive in God and the teachings of the Bible, but just wasn't sure where animals stood in the grand plan. After much searching and talking with friends and family, who truly believe that animals were sent from heaven in the first place, I believe they are in heaven and will be waiting on us when we journey from this life!! I also purchased a book, through a link on this website to Amazon.com, called "Cold noses at the Pearly Gates". I've only begun reading it, but can recommend to anyone having doubts about this very thing.
I KNOW that your Picasso sent you to those beads and love that you are having earrings made. I had a strange and comforting thing happen which I posted under the Memorial thread called "Comfort in strange places". I know it was a specific sign, since I've been struggling with the "do dogs go to heaven" question. Keep posting, it really helps to talk about your feelings with people who understand.
Thinking of you!
Libby
hi all
im sorry i have not responded in several days, ive been really missing Picasso, and the thought of coming here and being reminded of him was too much for me. He was already on my mind so much, and reading of all the other losses, i just couldnt do it for a few days
i dont feel much better about the whole Picasso Death issue, i am actually probably doing worse. I cant get over feeling he was cheated, my anger and basic attitude has caused me problems with my fiance david.
David does not believe in god, so trying to speak to him about picasso having a soul, or being in heaven is pretty impossible, although to his defense he always says to me Picasso is in doggy heaven , and has a soul, but i know he does not believe it deep down so as greatful as i am for his trying to help me, it feels fake and empty
i feel completely empty, i have since the moment Picasso died, i feel im not the same person .....
Ive been really argumentative, and we did not get along very well the last week, because i just pick fights, and yesterday while i was on the phone with david i figured out what my problem is
i think i am pushing david away , because i felt god would kill him too , just to be nasty to me ........ ive told david this, and he's been great, says there is no god, so that will never happen ...... then he said......even if there was a all powerful being, would he be that petty , i dont think so.......
which makes good sense, you would think god would have better things to do, but if that was the case, and god decides when you die, he should have known it was not Picasso's time
As far as David he is being as patient and nice as anyone could be, im horrible to him everyday, but i just feel cold towards everything, including him, i cant help it , i feel like ive lost my soul , i dont feel the same way about anything...... with the exception of my cat orlando, but im completely paranoid about his dying now ......
Orlando had two surgerys in august....... he is siamese....... had this genetic problem where he could not pee, they removed all this male organs, made him female virtually ..... and now he can pee, but it failed the first time........
so now i wont leave him, i stay with him every second, i dont want to leave town for 5 days in December to get married, which is why the issue with david came up , he said to me ...... were going to have to live our whole lives around that damn cat now .......
david and i have always travelled together (we got orlando together on our last trip to Florida) , so this is a real issue....... ive been out of the country 7 times in the last 2 years.........so ....... with orlando having this problem, and my being so paranoid, im not willing to leave at all .......so david is very annoyed.........
but my biggest problem is ...... i keep hearing all the little noises Picasso was making when he was getting his iv, and well dying ....... they were cute, because they were in his voice, but i could tell he was hurting ......and they keep replaying and replaying in my head........
And im really miserable about him being dead still ........ everytime its a wednesday i think well thats another week , and im haunted all day long , thinking , had he been with me , had i not fell back to sleep, if they had him on a leash ......
i feel like im going crazy, i know logically there is nothing to be done, i have to just get over it ......but i dont want to get over it........ i want to feel miserable forever because picasso shouldnt have died that day , and im mad at everyone in my family for acting like they feel better about it
in a way i feel really stupid being so upset, its not like i cant deal with death, ive had atleast 20 pets die before this, most of them cats, so its not like i only lost fish or something ......... ive lost great animals before........ its just i think with my other pets, they were sick, or old, or it was more there time......if there is such a thing
well im sorry this is long, and i know i didnt really ask any questions this time i just rambled
bye for now
amber
im sorry i have not responded in several days, ive been really missing Picasso, and the thought of coming here and being reminded of him was too much for me. He was already on my mind so much, and reading of all the other losses, i just couldnt do it for a few days
i dont feel much better about the whole Picasso Death issue, i am actually probably doing worse. I cant get over feeling he was cheated, my anger and basic attitude has caused me problems with my fiance david.
David does not believe in god, so trying to speak to him about picasso having a soul, or being in heaven is pretty impossible, although to his defense he always says to me Picasso is in doggy heaven , and has a soul, but i know he does not believe it deep down so as greatful as i am for his trying to help me, it feels fake and empty
i feel completely empty, i have since the moment Picasso died, i feel im not the same person .....
Ive been really argumentative, and we did not get along very well the last week, because i just pick fights, and yesterday while i was on the phone with david i figured out what my problem is
i think i am pushing david away , because i felt god would kill him too , just to be nasty to me ........ ive told david this, and he's been great, says there is no god, so that will never happen ...... then he said......even if there was a all powerful being, would he be that petty , i dont think so.......
which makes good sense, you would think god would have better things to do, but if that was the case, and god decides when you die, he should have known it was not Picasso's time
As far as David he is being as patient and nice as anyone could be, im horrible to him everyday, but i just feel cold towards everything, including him, i cant help it , i feel like ive lost my soul , i dont feel the same way about anything...... with the exception of my cat orlando, but im completely paranoid about his dying now ......
Orlando had two surgerys in august....... he is siamese....... had this genetic problem where he could not pee, they removed all this male organs, made him female virtually ..... and now he can pee, but it failed the first time........
so now i wont leave him, i stay with him every second, i dont want to leave town for 5 days in December to get married, which is why the issue with david came up , he said to me ...... were going to have to live our whole lives around that damn cat now .......
david and i have always travelled together (we got orlando together on our last trip to Florida) , so this is a real issue....... ive been out of the country 7 times in the last 2 years.........so ....... with orlando having this problem, and my being so paranoid, im not willing to leave at all .......so david is very annoyed.........
but my biggest problem is ...... i keep hearing all the little noises Picasso was making when he was getting his iv, and well dying ....... they were cute, because they were in his voice, but i could tell he was hurting ......and they keep replaying and replaying in my head........
And im really miserable about him being dead still ........ everytime its a wednesday i think well thats another week , and im haunted all day long , thinking , had he been with me , had i not fell back to sleep, if they had him on a leash ......
i feel like im going crazy, i know logically there is nothing to be done, i have to just get over it ......but i dont want to get over it........ i want to feel miserable forever because picasso shouldnt have died that day , and im mad at everyone in my family for acting like they feel better about it
in a way i feel really stupid being so upset, its not like i cant deal with death, ive had atleast 20 pets die before this, most of them cats, so its not like i only lost fish or something ......... ive lost great animals before........ its just i think with my other pets, they were sick, or old, or it was more there time......if there is such a thing
well im sorry this is long, and i know i didnt really ask any questions this time i just rambled
bye for now
amber
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