It is two weeks today that Rafer is gone from my life. I went to my son's home over Easter. I visited with my grandkids and son and daughter but all the while I still felt guilty leaving our home and Rafer's memory behind. I cried a lot at night, and I was sad during the day but managed to hold it together. My daughter-in-law gave me a beautiful sterling silver disc with a dog running. She had Rafer's name engraved on the back. I thought that was so kind of her. I can wear it close to my heart always. I have started crying again this morning. Today I pick up his ashes. I JUST WANT HIM BACK WHOLE AND BEAUTIFUL AGAIN. I want my Rafer. Will I ever get over this horrible lonliness? Everything I do that was done when he was with me brings me to tears. He followed me everywhere. I always felt protected and loved with him. When I would garden his would lay near me. If I was pulling weeds he would grab the clumps of grass or whatever and toss them around. It was so funny. I think he thought he was helping. He gave me such joy, from the time I brought him home at 11 pounds to his big grown-up self at 101 pounds. I was lucky to have had him in my life, but I still wish he were here. Rafer's mom forever.

Dear Idajean

I am thinking of you and sending hugs. I felt a bit better when we brought my darling Noushka's ashes back home, a sort of feeling of relief that she was back, but yes if only we could have them back whole and beautiful again, so that we could give them a great big cuddle. They are of course whole and beautiful and well again , with no pain or suffering and we must be thankful for that. I can just picture all our Angels playing together at the Rainbow Bridge, thats what gets me through this dreadful grief, that and the wonderful memories I have of all my Angels.
The little silver disc with Rafers name engraved on it is a lovely idea. I love that you say you can wear it close to your heart as thats where your darling Rafer will always be , in your heart and soul.

Love and hugs

Jan and my Angels and Pixie

Hi Idajean,

I am so sorry that you are feeling such pain. I think that it's important that you cry when you need to, I really do think that helps us with our grief.

I think the same thing when I think about my beautiful dog Callaway... I just wish he was whole again so I could give him a hug... I would never let go if I had the chance.

It's been 7 months for me and I still miss Callaway terribly, but I am better than I was. It does get better but it takes time and everyone is different with the healing process. I have recently had some guilty feelings crop up but I think that is more about other issues that I need to work on.

We love our pets so much and when we lose them it's like losing a child... in my opinion anyway. So, getting over losing someone you love takes time and you do eventually get over the intense pain. You will always miss Rafer but the constant crying will eventually stop, I promise.

Take care,
Rhapsedy

Thank you all for your wonderful thoughts. I will get through this with the help of friends and loved ones. Rafer's mom

Idajean, I'm sorry you've had a bad day. I hope that tomorrow will feel a little better. I sometimes think I'm stuck at that stage of saying, "I just want what I had back!". I keep thinking that as time passes, my mind will accept some things and move on but those thoughts just keep coming back. I don't want new - I just want my boys. My boys. I want to go back! I don't know when it will go away so I understand how you feel.
But, it's only been 2 weeks for you. It's gonna take more time, I think. It's just hard to let go of something/someone/a time in your life/whatever, that you simply don't want to let go of.
Again, I'm sorry you're hurting. My heart goes out to you tonight.
-Donna

Hi Idajean
I am so sorry you're hurting so much. There isn't much more that I can add to what everyone else has already told you. It will be 4 months tomorrow that Sammy is gone and I still miss her so very much. Never in a million years did I ever think losing a pet would be this painful. I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Sharon

Donna,

I know exactly what you mean! I want to have Callaway back so bad and wish I would have cherished every moment with him. It's kind of like you don't know what you got until it's gone. Don't get me wrong, I loved Callaway so much and showered him with love and attention but I just wish I would have appreciated what I had when I had it.

I think we will always miss our pets but that we will somehow learn to accept that they are not with us in the physical sense, I hope so anyway.

Take care,
Rhapsedy