I have been posting about our feral cat Iona in the new beginnings section for a couple of months. They took out the pin in her arm but her appetite went down so we took her to the vet. She was running a fever and they put her on antibiotics. She did not improve and when we took her back to the vet again they said she had apparently picked up a bacteria when the pin was put in and it had been growing and was systemic. They gave her a shot of gentomycin and Iona suddenly collapsed and stopped breathing. The vet thinks she reacted to the drug because of her weakened condition and perhaps because she was genetically sensitive to it. I gave her CPR while she was on oxygen and the vet tried to stimulate her and also gave her a shot of Benadryl but nothing helped. She gave a couple of small spasms and then her heart stopped. I am sure she had been unconscious those last few moments and did not feel any pain.

Karen and I are crushed. I had worked so hard with Iona for the past couple of months to turn her from a vicious feral cat with a broken leg to one of the sweetest cats I have ever seen. She loved to play with the other cats through the baby gates and even did this a little bit that last evening by pawing with Sam even though she was not eating. She loved to be petted and loved on as well so I did a lot of that those last few days.

The only consolation is that she was able to walk on her bad leg near the end and she had a loving home for a short time in her life and plenty of food. She also learned to play with toys and other cats, something she did not know how to do. Perhaps her life will have meaning by showing others that all feral cats can be tamed with a huge amount of patience and love.

I know she would have died outside with a broken leg and dislocated shoulder so I am not sorry we tried to help save her life. I only wish things had happened differently. I wish the vet would have done bloodwork to try to catch infections early but with her worm infestations the results probably would not have been clear. Her white blood cell count would probably have been high anyway so it may not have done much to help stop the infection. I don't blame the vet for giving her gentamycin since she had been on 2 other antibiotics and they did nothing to help. He had no way to know she was sensitive to it and that her condition was so fragile. I would have probably given her the same drug under those circumstances when we realized she had an advanced infection in the bone and probably systemic as well. It was a last ditch effort that failed.

Iona is buried in the front yard near a lemon tree. My health and nerves are wrecked. I had such a close bond with Iona that afterwards I developed eczema. The dermatologist said it was the worst case he had seen in his 40 years of practice. He gave me a cortisone shot, prednisone pills, and a strong steroid ointment. I have been slowly recovering from this and maybe it was a blessing to take my mind off of losing Iona.

I have only been able to write about her death now because it tears me up so much to even think about losing her. It has shaken my religious convictions and moral foundations. How could a God allow something like this to happen? Iona deserved better than this after her rough early life. She had so much promise and was just starting to enjoy the world for the first time in her 10 months of life. She went from having vets afraid to go near her to a loving and playful little girl. There is something inherently wrong with a universe where something like this happens to such a sweet little girl. She is at peace now but we miss her so much it hurts.

Sorry this is so rambling but the lack of sleep and bruised soul makes it hard to concentrate coherently. Don't feel pity for us. Feel pity for poor Iona who trusted us. We failed her. We will always love her.

I am so sad to hear this news.................. I know you are crushed as she made such progress.

You did not fail her

You do so much for the forgotten ones. I only hope you will be able to continue when you feel ready. It is obvious you are a very caring person and others may need you also.

With hugs for Iona, under the Lemon Tree.

Oh Ken,

I am deeply saddened for you loss!! You always do such a wonderful job and help us all so much!!! Now it is our turn to help you!!

You gave much needed love to Iona and I know she thanks you very much for that. You took her in when she needed you!!

As already statede--YOU DID NOT FAIL HER!!!!!

Would write more but headed out door for work, but had to at least post to you.

Hugs tou you, karen, and furangel Iona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I read your story I kept saying to myself what wonderful people to take in this feral cat and give her such a wonderful life! You gave her the medical care that she needed and taught her to love. It also sounds like the vet did everything to try to save Iona. Nobody could have known that she would have a reaction to gentamicin. Gentamicin is given as treatment of susceptible bacterial infections so I think that any vet would have tried the same drug to get rid of the bacteria.

Trust me I understand your feelings all too well. I had to put my soul mate Callaway to sleep 5 months ago and still feel like I should have done more and wonder if I would have made different choices if he would still be here today. I also feel that I failed Callaway in some way. However, I have learned that these feelings are all a part of grieving. You and I both tried the best we could to help our furbabies. We would have done anything for them and we did. We just have such a strong bond with our animals which is amazing when they are with us but when they die the pain is overwhelming and it leaves a huge hole in our heart.

Please know that you did not fail Iona in anyway. From reading your story I can honestly say that you did everything right and sometimes doing everything right can still have a bad outcome.

I pray that you and Karen find peace soon. You will always miss Iona but I hope that you soon realize that you gave her so much and that she will be forever grateful to you for taking her in and loving her so much.

Rhapsedy

Thank you for the kind comments, guys. The wife Karen bounced back quickly from Iona's death but since I was so close to her I am finding it much more difficult to work through the grief. I miss her so much. I was so proud of how far she had come, and then it all had to end so horribly for her. She deserved a better and much longer life than we were able to give her. I think Iona really appreciated what we did to give her a good home. I was looking forward so much to spending years with my sweet little girl and I think she was enjoying life more than she ever had the opportunity to do while she was feral. Here is the last photo taken of Iona.

Dear Ken
What a beautiful photo of your darling Iona. I have been following your story over the last couple of months and was so sad to hear of your loss. You gave Iona the chance to know how it feels to be loved and cherished. It was amazing how much you accomplished with her, just so sad that you didn't get to share more time together.
Thinking of you.

Jan and my Angels

What a beautiful girl!!!! Love those eyes.............. I know she knew how lucky and how loved she was and still is.

Ginger

What a gorgeous kitty. I love those eyes too...it looks like a photo by Annie Liebowitz for a Vanity Fair cover! I am so sorry that you lost her...

Margi and Ladywolf