Hi all, newbie here, I am deeply saddened and hurting all over and not eating well after just 3 days. My 8 1/2 year old sheltie has had many, many issues over the years and her vet and myself have always worked through each of them untill now. Sometime last October I noticed a difference in her urinating - she was squatting longer and seemed to strain alittle. The vet did some tests and we put her on antibiotics for 3 weeks with no improvement. Then we tried another antibiotic for 2 weeks and still no improvement. Now we needed to take x-rays and it was Thanksgiving week so we had to wait till next week. X-rays were negative for stones but noticed a smaller kidney. Could be kidney failure vet said we need to do an ultrasound. Ultrasound sound was done 3rd week in December and all looked good. Next step was to have Tufts university look at her and send a camera inside to see whats up. She had an appointment set for 12/22 and on Sunday 12/21 during a snowstorm she kept begging to go out every hour than every 1/2 hour then every 5 minutes and was panting and squatting everywhere with little coming out. I took her to Tufts at 1:30am during a snowstorm and also knowing she would have to be left there. (she has never been left alone anywhere). Tufts did the exploritory surgery Monday am and found she has cancer in her urethra. Tuesday they performed a surgery that would allow me to drain her bladder if she could not void herself and gave her about 2 months. She came home Christmas Eve with 4 different meds and it was touch and go for 7 - 10 days. Then she perked up and was ready to begin her final journey. I feel bad it was winter and cold cuz all she wanted was to be outdoors and go for walks but with the wind/snow/ice all made that a challenge. I did the best I could (at least I hope) for the weeks ahead giving her loves, treats, loves and more treats. Feb. 13th she stopped eating treats and started to act different and was no longer hungry but ate to please me I believe. We went to the vet and she said infections and tumor growth has doubled and it should be time. I needed one more night and I am sorry I fell asleep I wish I could have stayed awake. She took her final breath on Valentines Day 12:36pm with me sobbing and asking why,why,why me. I hurt just as much now as then and do not want to do anything because everything I did she was always one step ahead of me. Its so quiet in the house. Yesterday ups came to the door with a package and a biscuit and I felt like a fool breaking down telling him she was no longer here. Even though I knew she only had about 2 months I thought that would give me time to prepare myself - not so. I know she would want me to eat and move on. I feel like everyone else - just want to see and touch her again. I know this will get better but had no idea it could be this hard. Thank you for reading my story

I went through that with my Yorkie. We think we prepare ourselves, but I suspect if anything it makes it worse, because while we think we are getting ready to accept it, in the back of our minds, we have been dreading it all that time. Then all the suppressed feeling erupt when it finally happens. The first week is terrible. Thr first month is not all that great, either, but it does begin to dull a little...

Hi Robert,
I am so sorry for your loss. I am going through the same thing right now. My Roman died suddenly with NO warning on 2/11. It was a complete shock. I am thinking and praying for you. May we both get some peace. I think we have found the right place to be. The people on this board are incredible and they try to make you feel a little better. I will be thinking of you.

I am so sorry for your loss Robert. I too am dealing with the recent death of my beloved english bulldog Farley. He passed away on February 1st and it is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my life. Just know that it will get better. I am still feeling great pain at my loss but I must admit it has subsided somewhat since the day of his passing.

This has been a wonderful outlet for me as the people here are very understanding of the pain you are feeling. They have shared their stories and it makes me feel better knowing there are people out there who understand this pain.

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time. Take all the time you need to grieve as it is the healthiest thing to do.

Robert,

I am so very sorry about you losing your girl after only 8 1/2 years. Shelties are such gorgeous babies...do you have a picture of her you can post? We love to see pictures because they are our reminders of happier, healthier times and we need those good memories to heal. I must have missed seeing it...what was your girl's name? You certainly did everything possible to help her. That's all we can do. We know when we open our hearts and our home to these special ones, there is a day in the future they will have to leave but we always hope it is far, far away. No matter how long they are with us...it is never long enough. We miss that special personality, that special spark that only they uniquely each have of their own. Most of all, we miss that special unconditional love they shower us with every hour of every day we are with them.

One saying I read here helps me during this time in grieving where you are: A "Mom" here wrote:
The pain of losing her will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing her.

That says a lot about feelings and for me I believe it to be true. When this time comes, our best friends are at peace, no pain, no suffering.....but when we lose that perfect physical presence...that's when our pain really begins..because we simply love them so very much and it is the missing them, the emptiness we feel without them.....that causes the pain.

It is okay to cry, to vent, to do what seems to help you feel a little better at the moment. Grieving takes time to heal and by healing, I don't mean we forget anything ....it means we take control back of our feelings and by doing that, the pain is made to be bearable instead of overwhelming.

Come here and write your thoughts and feelings anytime. Just know that you are not alone. We all know exactly what you are going through. We all share the pain and in sharing...that helps make it more bearable. Take everything one day at a time. The loss comes quickly but the healing never does....it is too great a loss to heal in a short time. And yours right now is only a matter of days.....

By coming here, you learn that no matter what your thoughts and feelings are....they will be very normal for what happened. Your girl was an important part of your life for over 8 years and she will always be a part of you. She is a beautiful angel who is still watching over you.

I wish you peace and healing and know your special bond can never be broken and will never be forgotten. She is in your heart and by your side forever.

Judy

I am so sorry for your loss Robert. Its so hard. We don't realise when we get a pet just how much we are going to love them and then the loss is terrible and shocking. It is so early on for you yet, Valentines day was only a few days ago. Don't put pressure on yourself to be okay yet, it takes time.
Its hard too when you lose a dog at an early age, my dog was 8 too and I felt so cheated.

Let out how you feel, cry when you need to and cope with this in your own way. We all understand how awful you feel and are here when you need to talk.

take care
Von

Robert,

I'm so very sorry and can really appreciate the pain you are feeling. Especially given all you did to try and make her better. It's obvious you did your very best. I'm experiencing the same here with my Allie being so very sick. I had no idea it would be so very, very difficult. My thoughts are with you and anyone else who may be going through an extremely difficult time due to the loss of your best friend.

Sandy

Hi, Robert, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Sheltie. Losing a beloved companon is never easy regardless of the cir%%stances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. In December 2006 I had to send my 6 year old number one kitty son Eli home to the angels due to end stage Lymphoma. He had been diagnosed in September 2006, went through 6 weeks of palliative chemo treatments, and we had two months together until it was quite obvious that his quality of life was no longer on this side of eternity. Euthanasia is never an easy decision to make, but it is the last gift of love we can give to our furkids - - at great sacrifice to us - - so that they can go home to the angels with their dignity still intact. This grief journey is both physical and emotional, Robert, so whatever helps you to get through this painful adjustment to the physical loss of your furchild is okay. I slept with my Eli's collar under my pillow and held onto his ashes when I needed to hold something of him to help me through the gut-wrenching sorrow. Hopefully in time you will come to know that your precious girl is still with you as she always has been - - your relationship with her has only temporarily changed to a different dimension. Perhaps in time you may think of a way to honor her memory - - like a scrapbook or a memorial garden or service - - or a donation to your local humane society in her name. But for now this grief journey is a one day at a time journey, and unfortunately there is no easy way through it, no way to fast forward through it. The good news is that you are not alone in this journey. Each of us here does understand what you are feeling and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us - - you are among friends here. Robert, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

I'm so sorry for your loss. We always expect the day will come and think we will be prepared, but I don't think we ever are. 2 days or 2mo, doesn't matter. It's never an easy journey to move on from. You did everythink you could and she was very lucky to have such love and care in her life. It will take time, but time will ease your pain. Post often and pictures when your feeling up to it. Take care. Hugs. Ann

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. We had to say goodbye to Casey on Nov 13 - two weeks after we found out he was suffering from lung cancer. He did not show any signs and the only way the vet was able to tell was with an xray - his blood work was fine. It sounds like you did everything possible to help your little girl. It is evident that you loved her very much. I know how hard it is, but sometimes there just isn't anything we can do. I can tell you it does get easier. I still think about my Casey everyday and feel sadness over losing him, but I know there wasn't anything we could have done to save him (the same applies to you). Give yourself time to heal and know that we all understand how you feel.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Karen