hello, my name is cindy and i just became a member today. on december 15th, 2008 my precious dog winston was hit by a truck and killed; and i unfortunately was a witness to this tragedy. winston was the best dog ever!!! he was my bestfriend...he made me laugh, he gave me lots of kisses, and he loved me as much as i loved him. i am having so much trouble going on with my life without winston; i miss our morning walks, the mid-afternoon trip to the dog park, and coming home after work to his welcome of kisses and hugs. i can't sleep because the image of him being hit flashes constantly through my mind; and i am constantly thinking what if i did this or that differently, would i still have my winston. winston was there for me when my sister past away last year. he kept me company when i was in bed crying or on the couch just staring off into space. he was so young at only 15 months - he deserved to have a long and happy life. as i am writing this, i am bawling. i just wonder why god would give me this wonderful gift to only take it away from me so violently. my heart is broken into a thousand pieces; i ache so much. when winston died, a part of me died with him.

We will never know the reason some of these terrible things happen.

You were given to Winston to love him and and THAT YOU DID!!!!

It is such a tragedy. We don't get the chance to say goodbye. He knew you loved him tho.

Guilt, the what if's and why's is all a part of the many stages you will go through.

I lost my Sissycat over 6 months ago to an accident with a vehicle. If it were not for the kind people here I don't know what I would have done.

We are here for you!! To listen to your stories, look at pictures, if you wanna cry, or gripe, or read your posts to Winston. Whatever goes here. So anytime day or night please come back if you'd like.

By the way what a beautiful face!!!!!!

Hugs to you and your new angel Winston!!!!!!!!!

Cindy--------You are at the right spot here on this forum.We understand your agony.Stay on this forum for as long as you need and we will be here for you.I have been here since sept 2008.It has saved me.Literally.I you have not already,may I suggest googling 'The Rainbow Bridge'.It will get you started on this new journey and will help you plan ahead for your reunion with Winston.God bless baby Winston.
Bubba...............

I am so sorry this has happened to your beautiful baby Winston. I lost a young dog the same way years ago. It is awful to witness it but it is also very swift so you know he didn't suffer. It's tragic and so fast we almost can't believe it has happened.

We miss everything about them. It is just not the same to come home with no happy little face to greet us. And I can see what a happy little thing he was in his picture. A part of us does die with them it seems. Try to think what a wonderful life he had with you for his short time here. He was chosen to be with you for that time. Maybe his life was intended to be short and you were chosen because you needed him to see you through the loss of your sister. His job was done.

He is the cutest little thing and I know you will miss him.

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss of Winston; and that you had to go thru witnessing it. I can't imagine. I've often asked the same question myself. That wonderful gift only to be taken away. Someday we find our answers. In the meantime, we have to be thankful for joy we had with them..We all understand your pain. My heart breaks for you. Winston is so beautiful. He will be forever watching over you. We're here to walk this journey of grief with you.. Post pict and stories here anytime you want or need to vent. Your not alone..Hugs..Ann

Hi, Cindy, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the loss of your beloved Winston. Losing a beloved companion is never easy regardless of the cir%%stances or how long we have been blessed with the privilege of their company. Because they give to us their unconditional love and undivided attention, we surrender ourselves to them completely without reservation. When they die they do indeed take a part of us with them - - the better part of us that belonged only to them. The grief journey we travel in the loss of a beloved companion is as hard as when we losed a human family member or friend. It is a one day at a time journey that unfortunately cannot be rushed, but definitely not traveled alone. Each of us here knows first hand the ups and downs and twists and turns and highs and lows that go along with this very unpredictable journey. Grieving is also physical as well as emotional, so you must be sure to do what is comforting for you to help you through the very difficult moments. And please know you are among friends here. We are with you each step of the journey for as long and as often as you need us. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, Cindy, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

thank you everyone for your comforting words of empathy and encouragement. knowing you know how i'm feeling helps me alot, that i'm not alone or crazy for feeling this way. this might sound crazy, but i think my winston knew that his time was up with us a week before the accident. he was always an affectionate dog, but a week before it seemed like he needed to be as close to us as possible. if i was on the computer, he scratched my legs until i would let him on my lap; or when watching tv, he would snuggle up as close as he could; and at night when we went to bed, he would sleep between my husband and i all night long instead of sleeping in his bed like he usually did. i don't know why he had to leave, but i am glad that we had him even though it was for only a short time.

You are definitely not alone or crazy in how you are feeling. Winston is your special boy and will always be with you as part of your heart.

It is interesting what you said about him acting differently....makes one wonder what do these babies know that we don't? I am so sorry he had to leave so young. Everyday we have them is so precious. I don't know why they are taken when they are...that seems like the cruel part of life we can't prevent.

I know it is so hard when you witnessed what happened....try to concentrate on the happy times you had together and push the sad moments aside.

You mentioned being glad you had him even though it was a short time. That reminds me of a saying one "Mom" here said of her baby: The pain of losing him will never ever be greater than the joy of knowing him.

You just echoed those words beautifully. I find a lot of comfort and strength in those words. And, I, too, am grateful for every day my boy was part of my life.

Hugs and peace and healing. Write your thoughts here anytime. Post more pictures when you want to. We understand exactly how you feel. That's why here..you can never feel alone.
It is a pain we all share and we know it is the happy memories that lead to healing ..in time.

Judy

Cindy, I am so very sorry that you lost your beloved pal Winston. Thank you for sharing his picture with us. He has now joined many other fur babies, and is an angel watching over you. I hope that the happy memories you had with him, will help ease your pain. I wish you peace as you go through the grieving process.

Dearest Cindy, I'm so sorry for your tragic and untimely loss of precious Winston. He is so beautiful. I know in my soul that he's only just a breath away and right there by your side. He'll never leave you and you'll see him again someday. We'll all see our most cherished and beloved fur and feather kids again to be reunited for eternity.

Remember this: You carry his heart in your heart always!

Winging many loving Angels to you and Winston to soothe and bring you Peace!

Big Comforting Hugs!

Always,
Dottie xoxoxox

Hi Cindy

Reading your post just made my heart ache. I could have written that word for word 3 years ago. We lost our dog Jack (aged 8) 3 years ago in a tragic accident too and I have gone through all of the what if's but you know there is nothing we could have done.

We dropped Jack off at my mum's and went to work as usual. Within an hour we were called home. Jack had been out in the back garden, must have got spooked by something and ran to go back inside. But he crashed into the patio door not realising it was closed. We had dropped him off early that day so it was quite dark. What if we had gone to work at the usual time, would he still be here? What if I had told mum to make sure she pulled the blinds across? What if I had made more fuss of him that day? I tortured myself. But the fact remains he's gone and theres nothing I could do about it.

Jack too got us through so many hard times. We could be so low but he would do something to make us laugh. he was like my first baby. Nobody understood the bond that I had with him. I loved him so much.
I could not even go to work for 2 weeks after I was in such a state. And this was made harder by many people thinking I was strange for being like this over a dog. At least with a person, people understand and sympathise.

It was well and truly the worst time of my life and to be very honest, it got worse before it got better. But the pain does ease I promise you. Just speak to those who understand for now and avoid those who don't.

Something happened some months later that made me believe Jack was there and watching over us. We had been going through fertility treatment for years. We were also house hunting as we could not stand to stay in the same house with our memories of Jack. One night I had a vivid dream about Jack coming back to me. I woke up and said to my husband, "We are going to buy the house we're looking at this afternoon and I'm going to get pregnant this month" We had looked at so many houses and been trying to have a baby for 2 and a half years.
Anyway, we bought that house and I got pregnant that month.

Try and feel Winston around you because this may give you some comfort. I'm sure he's still watching over you.

I remember screaming at my mum "I hate god for taking Jack from us" But later I realised that we have little control over what happens in life.

Winston is so beautiful. I really feel your pain and all I can say is that life will get easier but for now, just take one day at a time.

That Winston looks so beautiful, I wonder did he get that way from all the love you gave him, he looks so so special.
It's so hard losing them, take care and may his ongoing love soothe you when you need him most.

Cindy,

I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our Woody to a car on 09/21/08. Woody was only four years old. My wife and I felt all of the same things that you are feeling right now. My wife was taking Woody for a walk and he pulled the leash from her hand and ran into the street. Steph, my wife, had the same trouble sleeping as you are having now. She kept seeing the accident over and over and over. I can't tell you why they have to leave us so soon but I can tell you that with time, your heart will start to heal. We have accepted that Woody is gone. We still cry and we still miss him but he is gone. Woody gave us little messages that he is okay and if you watch carefully you will see messages from Winston. They are subtle but they will be there (if he hasn't left messages already). I was angry with God for taking Woody from us but I read a book called "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates" and it helped me to realize that God didn't snatch him away. You will always love and miss Winston just as we will always love and miss our Woody. No one can take that away from us. All I can tell you is to visit here often and express how you feel. And don't be afraid to cry. I cried so much that my head hurt but it helped me. Believe me, the pain does ease up but it takes time. The only thing that helps is time. Once again I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. When I look at Winston's picture I can see that he was a very special boy.

Steve

Cindy--

I hope you are doing better--I can really understand--as I lost a cat almost 2 years ago thru a terrible accident---it really was hard and I can now say--that I am doing better--I think of her and my heart still aches because of her untimely death and the way she died--

It will take time and you will get better---I am very sorry that you had to go thru this--

Mary

Cindy,
So sorry to hear of the tragic loss of your precious Winston. I, too, have, experienced the same loss. My westie, named Zoe, was hit by a car as well. The pain and grief you are feeling is normal. I think we love our pets more than anything or anyone in our lives, due to the unconditional love they give us. They are truly a gift from heaven and that's where we'll get to see them again.
Keep Winston in your heart, he is with you.
Take care of yourself, feel free to tell stories and show more pictures....he was so adorable.
Much love and support. You are not alone.
Deanna