I just got the call from the vet's office that Buster's cremains are back and can be picked up. I'm glad they will be back home, and that does bring some comfort, but on the other hand I feel heavy-hearted too....such mixed emotions. I can't help but remember how his body felt when I held him in my arms, all big and soft and fluffy and now he'll be in this small tiny box.....reduced to ashes. I know I'll start crying again when I hold that box in my hands

Karen

karen--the whole remains thing is very bizarre.
My heart goes out to you.
I will tell you however, that having Ginger's remains
has been a wonderful comfort to me. At first I cried oceans
just looking at the tin--the whole thing seemed so surreal
and I just wanted the world to swallow me up--NOW however,
I light a candle every night right next the the beautiful container
that I got for Ginger--and I write a note to my angel kitty
every single night...a ritual in front of a shrine--I am sure other
people would think I am nuts!! but too bad because
it has really helped enormously--for one thing when I look back
at the notes I see the progression--from tears to smiles.
It is almost all smiles now.
Let us know what special message you get from your dear
Buster--because you will get one!
Love
Patti

Karen,
I know I am simultaneously dreading and looking forward to the day when I can bring home Christopher's remains. At least he will be with me. I like Patti's idea of a "shrine" of sorts and having a daily ritual tied to it. It seems like a nice way to set aside time to spend with your loved one. Maybe if you plan some sort of daily moment to spend with Buster, it will become something you look forward to eventually. The bottom line is that he is with you...not only in a tin sent home from the vet, but in spirit as well. Take care.
Lisa

Thank you Patti & Lisa,

I just couldn't bring myself to picking him up tonight....I wanted my husband to do it for me but
he didn't get the chance to go over there. But I know what you mean about the "shrine".....I
already have his picture with a candle by it. I talk to him all the time and I keep seeing him
out of the corner of my eye. When I get down on the floor and actually talk to him, his
brother Max seems to be looking at the spot where Buster would be, not up at me, but at
his level and it really is something! Maybe Max see's him, I don't know. I also know what you
mean about people thinking you're nuts.....I should know better than to think I'd be viewed
as that on this board, but I still feel funny sometimes the way I gush on about him.....I
just miss him so much....my life is a different place without him.

Love,
Karen

Karen,

No, you're definitely not "nuts"..!! And you're among true family here.

Let us know how it goes when you pick up sweet Buster's cremains.

I really like the other ideas here on writing and on lighting a candle.

God bless,

Kathy

Well, my husband picked up Buster for me today. I was really surprised that also included
(from the Vet's office) was a plaster plaque of his little footprints with his name on it! I
think that was so sweet of them to do that for me! I'll be lighting a candle tonight next to
his little box and footprints......

Karen

karen---nice touch from the vet's office! I too got a tuft of fur and some inked paw prints (that were nearly impossible to deal with emotionally at first!) but I bought a locket and put some of the fur into it and I wear it non-stop. I am glad you all like my "shrine" lol--I never discuss any of this type of thing with anyone else but you folks! well, my S.O. did ask me one night what I was doing and I simply said paying my respects to Ginger. I am healing enough that a couple of nights I almost forgot to do it (almost) I used to tuck him in everynight--so writing the note at that same time is the nicest thing. It's like he is still here with me.
Let us know karen what special "thing" if any you do in a ritual way with your Buster. I highly recommend it for the healing aspect!

Oh, how I wish I had one of those plaster casts of Carlyle's foot. But I just remembered. I have an envelope somewhere with some of her whiskers in it. I had saved them a few years ago so I'd have something of hers when she was gone. I'm so glad I did that. Now if I could only find them.
Another idea I came up with is to make a scrapbook of Carlyle. I already have oodles of pictures (of course) but I will add stories that I'd like to remember.
Jackie

The plaster impression of his little paw is so cute, and his name
is written into the plaster as well. At first I thought the vet's office did it, but actually the
place that cremated him did it.

Jackie, a scrap book is really good idea! I want to put a picture collage together. I
was looking through my photo albums of Buster last night. I had to dig these albums out
of the back of the closet in the basement so I hadn't seen them in a long time. Gosh he
was cute little baby kitten! I have one of me holding him and looking at the picture it
feels just like yesterday. I took as many pictures as people take of their kids! But then
I don't have kids so he was mine

yep karen--I don't have children either so Ginger was my "kid"---that is why it was so hard!! I will be honest, I do not
think after my next "kid" ("Ruggles") goes to the happy hunting ground that I will ever have another "kid"--because I can't handle the grief.
are you going to or have you gotten another kitty?

Hi Patti!
It's nice when people understand the bond that childless women have with their beloved pets - I'm not saying that women with children don't understand, but it's a little different for us I have Max and he's about 13 and on subcutaneous fluids for Renal Failure so I'm hoping that I'm blessed with some more time with him. It was caught early, but each cat progresses differently so we'll see. Max belonged to an old neighbor of mine and he kept running away and coming over to my house so eventually she just said "would you like to just keep him?, he seems to like it better at your house." That was 7 years ago. It does help to have him, it really does. But Buster was my first "baby" and I had him from the time he was 8 weeks old so there was a very special bond there.
I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I'll ever have another kitty when Max is no longer with me. I would like to go to a shelter and find the oldest kitties there and adopt two of them. You know, the ones that most people don't want and will more than likely be put to sleep. I feel that I still have a lot of love to give to little furbabies and so I will probably do it again. What's funny, and don't get this wrong, but even though I love Max to pieces and I would love any kitty I adopt, Buster and I had this connection that I don't think I will ever feel again. You know what I mean?

Hugs,
Karen

Hi again Karen! I sure do. I feel the same--Ginger was a cranky cat--very very mean--I think he had been abused (The girly name was given to him before I knew he was a he and I kept it because it suited him--besides, he came when he was called and his full name was "Gingersnap" because he'd bite ya! lol) anyway he "chose" me. He only liked me and trusted me. it made me feel really special--sort of like a lion tamer. He was really BIG and would sit in front of a door and everyone would come get me to move him because I was the only person "allowed" to touch him. I don't know why he chose me--but I lavished him with love because I felt someone had been mean to him. It breaks my heart that he isn't still here. I really won him over. Well, he really won me over. It was a mutual thing.
and I know what you mean about wanting an "older" kitty. I hear ya! I was 1/2 tempted to go to the shelter to ask for the "meanest" cat! lol lol!! (they probably don't even have any because they get euthanized for being un-adoptable). Well, I know I would never be able to re-create my relationship with Ginger. I feel like he is still with me though--do you feel that way about your kitty?
I have felt kinda stooopid about making my kitties into "children"--but it really is sort of inevitable isn't it--I mean unavoidable--when my Ginger was in "ICU" I was on jury duty and I told the juror my cat was in intensive care at the vet hospital and that I had no children---"oh-oh" she said. oh-oh, no kidding, oh-oh.
I am not sure but I think all this could get worse as we get older. lol

Patti, I'm going to send you a private message......

karen your kitty in your avatar looks a little like my one remaining kitty--do you have any larger photos I can see and compare? he looks like a real cutie

Hey Patti,
Yes, there is a big picture of him under my original post (on page 2) "The Day I Always Feared"....

Love,
Karen

what a DOLL! and so big--yep both my boy cats were BIG--texas sized. lol--buster was so beautiful!! he sure filled the room I can see that.