I lost my best friend in the world almost 11 years ago. I have talked of him often on the forum since I lost my Moose kitty. My Butch kitty left this earth in August 1996 at the age of 22. I wanted to post a couple of pictures of him now. It has taken me forever to get digital pictures of him.

Mommy loves you baby, I will NEVER forget you. I will love you all my life and beyond.

My favorite picture of him, I didn't take many, I don't know why not.


Here he is all dressed up. Looks like he is saying 'where is my dignity'? LOL


My Alex kitty was my 'other' kitty at the time. He died just 5 weeks after Butch. He mourned himself to death and I couldn't do a thing to help him. He was 15 years old. I'm sorry I wasn't a better mommy to you Alex.


I still miss them so much.

These pictures are so wonderful. It must have been hard to watch Alex mourn. It's hard enough for us as people to express our sorrow and have someone understand. I wonder how much harder it is for an animal and there is no way to console them. Anyway, all of your kitties were adorable. Thanks for sharing those pictures. They made me smile.

Tiffany

Thank you, I'm glad you got a smile. I know how much you are hurting right now.

It was so heartbreaking to watch Alex. He wasn't a 'people' kitty. Butch was his best friend. He stopped eating. I was frantic and the vet did what she could, he just didn't want to live, so he didn't. OMG it still hurts to think of it.

It's funny, you'd think I could post and talk about these guys without crying, but I can't. I think Moose passing is helping me mourn these guys. It hurt so much when it happened I pushed it away. Sounds good but the cost for that was years of depression. As much as it hurts, it's better to mourn now.

Love

Lori

They are both so beautiful. I know how much you miss them, especially your Butch kitty.

Like you, I never used to take many pictures. I guess it was different "back then" with no digital cameras handy. When I go home in May, I'm going to go through my mom's pictures and get at least one picture each of some of my childhood kittys.

I only have one picture of my Wiley (Alleys older brother who was killed on the road, 10 years ago this May). I wish I had taken more. I did have one other picture of him, but he was laying sprawled out on the floor and every time I looked at it, he looked just like he was laying on the road when I found him that day and I couldn't bear to keep the picture. Soon I will scan the one picture I do have of him. In it, you can see his one white whisker just like Alley also had. The only difference in them was he had short hair and hers was long.

I hope they are all together somewhere.

Very sweet pictures. Thank you for sharing them with us.

Best wishes,
Ken

Lori,

It's so GOOD to finally see a picture of your Butch! He's just beautiful! And I don't know if it's just this sorry excuse for a memory of mine or not (probably is), but I don't even recall your mentioning Alex before... a roly-poly cutie!

Regardless, that must have been so very hard for you, watching him pine away....like many of us seem to want to do. And so quickly after Butch, too....I can't even imagine, it's so heartbreaking! You have all my sympathies, for ALL your losses, no matter how long ago they were. That pain just never really dissipates completely, does it?

What exactly is that outfit you had your guy in there??? It also looks like he's wondering, OMG, what the heck is that Mom of mine going to do to me NEXT?!?!

Alleys Mama

Thank you for saying they were beautiful. To me, Butch was and is the most beautiful cat ever in the world. Not just his looks but his soul. He really was my soul mate.

Stupid not to have a lot of pictures of 22 years of love. I just don't have them. It's a blessing to have the pictures of Moose we have, I thought they were too many, now they are not enough. I would love to see Wiley. I'm so sorry you lost him that way. I know your Alley and Wiley are curled up together and happy somewhere.

Ken

Thank you.

Nissa's Mommy

No I don't talk much about Alex. Like I said he was my 'other' cat. Butch was my love, my soul mate, my very bestest friend. I was not good to Alex. He was my brothers cat and when he didn't want him anymore he gave him to my mom and dad, they were going to take him to a shelter. I didn't really want him but I couldn't see him sent to a shelter and maybe die. I kept him fed and warm, not much I know.

Cats pick their 'people' you know? Alex was CRAZY about my brother. Then he fell in love with my mom, who was NOT an animal person. After that he never could trust or love another person, he just got burned too much. He was only about a year when I got him, so he got burned a lot and very young. He lost two 'forever' homes in that year. I was too supid to really try to get him to bond with me. He loved Butch, he built his world around him. As long as Butch was around, things were okay. When Butch left he had no reason to stay here. I couldn't even mourn him much, I was hurting too much from losing Butch. I get comfort from thinking of them all curled up together like they always did.

He was a beautiful cat, he deserved to be loved a lot more than he got, he deserved a much better life. I'm working on forgiving myself for the way I treated him. Stupid that it takes losing them to understand how special they are.

No the pain doesn't go, you learn to live with it. There are still days when it hurts so much, but mostly it's better. I do know as much as it hurts I wouldn't have wanted to miss a minute with any of them.

Butch is wearing a very stylish leopard coat and hat from a big doll I had. LOL he was such a good kitty, he would let you do just about anything to him. His big fluffy tail us up in front of him. Do you believe he let me put that on him and prop him up in that chair, and take his picture? What a good boy.


ROFL he probably is wondering that! That day I dressed him in the same doll's dress, and a pair of pink PJ's. Bad mommy! The best one was the X-mas I got him a dog sweater. He let me put it on him, but he wouldn't move! He just laid down and looked at me till I took it off. I did things like that and didn't take pictures, where was my head? Now they are only memories, that will be 'lost in time, like tears in rain'. (quote from the movie 'Blade Runner'). Oh how I miss him.


Love

Oh, Lori.... I can just FEEL your pain over both Alex and of course, your darling Butch. Alex's story IS so sad, and I can see why you don't want to talk about him that much. I feel so sorry for both him and your battered conscience. Sometimes we do just do ignorant things, w/o realizing the consequences of our choices until it's too late to change things. Gad. It all goes towards learning, but those can be the toughest lessons to try and overcome!

I can certainly understand how you weren't able to give Alex much, if anything, after your dear Butch went, though. That's hard enough even when you totally love to pieces someone else who's still with you. One's heart is SO raw from pain that drumming up a lot of love just isn't possible at times. But I know I'd be suffering 'the guilts' just as you have, were I in your shoes. I DO hope you find comfort in knowing that both Alex and Butch are surrounded by Love of the Highest Order now, though, and I couldn't imagine that they wouldn't be together again, after having forged those bonds in earthly life.

I'm also sorry you don't have many pictures of your great love, Butch. I've felt the same about Sabin, though he wasn't here anywhere near as long as Butch was. Another one of those things we just have to slap ourselves upside the head about, eh?

No, I DON'T believe Butch let you put those outfits on him! "Bad Mommy" is RIGHT! My kids would have plotted to kill me, had I been so disrespectful and presumptuous! Good Lord, woman! TWO modelling sessions in ONE DAY?!?!? The LEAST you could have done would have been to dress yourself up in a cat-suit, to be fair about it! (now there's a picture I'd REALLY love to see!)

But pictures or not, those memories will NEVER be lost. Even IF you ever got dementia, they are preserved into eternity, for when you and Butch, Moose and Alex are reunited again. Love never dies, so how could the things that created that love be lost, either? They are all part and parcel of it, and will live on as creations of Love.

very cute pictures of Butch.......Alex too. Thanks for sharing.....

Lori

I do understand how you feel about Alex. I have the same guilt over Stinky who was always the "other cat". First I had Wiley, who was my sweet baby boy. When he was about 7 months old, I got Stinky who was his sister from a new litter. (unfortunately, these people never spayed their cats, didn't take good care of them, etc.). She just never had much personality and was pretty much a loner. After Wiley died, I got Alley (same parents, new litter) and she was my babygirl, my soulmate. I did love Stinky and tried to be close to her, but she just wasn't as receptive and didn't have the interest. I feel guilty that I didn't love her as much as I could have, and that I didn't properly mourn her when she disappeared. She got the same food and care as Alley and Wiley, she wasn't neglected, but I know I could have tried harder to be closer to her. She had a good life I know, same as your Alex did. Sometimes the animals themselves make it harder to create a bond with them, so please don't blame yourself. Sometimes it just isn't there. I will get Wiley's picture scanned this weekend so you can see how much he looked like Alley and how beautiful he was.

Nissa's Mom
I guess the worst part is that I know I could be a much better mommy to Alex now, he taught me so much. He was really the reason I started looking at alternative medicine which helped Moose so much. You live and learn. Thank you for your support it really helps. Love can't be lost, you are so right.

My Butch was the best natured kitty, I could do anything to him and he didn't plot revenge. He did get mad at me twice and he bit me good, I have to say both times I really deserved it. Once when he was 'put out' at me he pooped on my rug, right were he knew I'd step. LOL He was one in a million for sure. He took so many car trips with me, and loved them. He would ride with me in the car when I went to the drive up at the bank, they always gave him a dog treat. I guess they had never seen a cat in the car before. Of course he just turned up his nose at them.

Okay when I meet Butch at the bridge I'll let him dress me in a cat suit! ROFL

Misty's Mommy

Thank you.

Alleys Mama

I know you are right. Alex was such a problem. Now I know none of them are a problem really, just a learning experience. Alex didn't like his litter box, he much prefered the carpet. He was very quick with his claws and teeth. He wanted you to pet him, but he didn't want to stand to close to you... Ah well, he was well taken care of, like you said, I guess that is a lot more than the poor little strays and it will have to be enough. I'll make it up to him somehow when I see him again.

I tried to scan my picture of Wiley but it didn't work The picture is old and grainy and my scanner is even worse! If I can figure out somewhere to take it and have it scanned, I will try that.

Alleys Mama

I would love to see a photo of Wiley but I understand how hard it can be sometimes. If you figure out a way, too cool, but if you can't don't worry about it honey.

Love