Today marks 7 long years since my beloved boy had to go, back from whence he came. Over the last couple of years, I barely had time to devote much to his anniversaries, what with Nissa's continual care/needs. But this time, I've got all the time in the world ....to stop and pause, to remember my boy. And his loss seems that much worse, without his dear sister here to keep me centred in the present, and with her loss still so fresh, adding to the loneliness. I can't believe it's been this long already! I recall a few particular lines from a poem (for dogs) we have hanging in a frame....
" ....The years went by so fast, somehow." (Nancy Brevak)

So today I remember once again, my heart heavy, the first biggest loss of my life....my Boo-Boo, my Bud, my soulmate and greatest teacher...Sabin. If not for him, we all would have missed out on the best and most precious years of our lives. It was his earnest insistence to leap into my husband's arms that clinched the 'deal' for me, to welcome BOTH him and his sister into my heart and our home. His presence was huge, from the very first day. He was the fearless leader, the caretaker of all of us, the wise old soul who made me grow, loved me so completely and boundlessly and awoke something in my soul that had been dormant for so long in my life. He never stopped giving of his heart, even up to the last moments of his life, when he chose to fight his terrible pain to come out of hiding and be with me, his Mom. I will never forget the last, deep gaze into each other's eyes, when I told him I loved him....there was nothing more needed, our hearts so full with our intense love for each other. Our eyes said it all.

7 long years.....and yet, wasn't it just yesterday?....

Oh, my Black Bud,
My Little Black Bud,
Black Bud will follow me,
Wherever I may go.
I'll die with my Black Bud,
Lickin' my soooooulll....
And off together we'll go, we'll go.
And off to Heaven we'll go.

I love you so much, Boo-Boo, still, always. I hope I can feel you with me today, as powerful and calming as you ever were. I'll always need you by my side.

(The tribute I wrote for him, back in '00, is now posted in the Tributes section here if anyone wants to read it.)

FK's mom

What a sad anniversary for you, made even more so by the more recent loss of your beloved Nissa. Since I've been coming here, reading all the stories about Nissa and Sabin, I feel as if I have come to know them, and love them, too. I know the signs have been few and far between for you, but I do know that your sweet Sabin and Nissa ARE together and they are both looking down on you with such love in their little hearts.

I will light a candle for Sabin tonight. He will be in my thoughts, as will you and Nissa.


Paula

I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered TWO such losses. I really can't imagine the pain you feel today, with both gone and an anniversary too.

Sabin looks so much like Misty I swear they must be related. I still need to get with my H on how to post pictures. He was black also, and used to roll over the same way at our feet. ( ihave no idea how to add pictures here)

Anyways, please know my thoughts with you today....they both were so lucky to have you as a Mom!

Misty's Mama

Paula,

That's so sweet of you to say you feel like you know and love them, too. They'd like that, especially my boy, as he was so sociable.

I bought a black pillar candle and some new flowers (pink ones for Nissa and purple ones for Sabin; tulips, to represent the two lips of each of my kidlets, both smoochy {Sabin} and kissy {Nissa}) for Sabin's day and we took some pictures of these sitting beside my framed pics of them both. You can see Sabin's smoochy lips quite well in this pic. You can also see his tiny, white tip at the end of his tail, which is usually hidden in most of his pics.

I thought about him all day and it was tough because I can't think of one w/o thinking about the other....a new experience that makes me feel ill.

Misty's Mama,

Thank you for the condolences and empathy....and compliment! Yes, I think we were ALL pretty lucky, to have each other. But I still can't wait for the day when we'll have each other in even bigger and better ways, again. I keep walking around this house, still unable to really believe that it's cat-personless. It will probably never seem right.

But I'm looking forward to whenever you get some of your own pics up here, of Misty. If they did look so alike.....well, what gorgeous kids they both were, eh?! Too much beauty to fit in one room!

Sabin and Nissa's mommy

It's so hard, every year thinking about them. The joy they brought, the love, how they changed us. It's like one day you wake up and...7 years are gone. For me it's 10. How did so much time go by and how did I live through it? Made harder by being so sad about Nissa still. What a great picture! Sabin was just so, so handsome!

Misty's mommy

I hope you get the photos figured out soon, I would love to see your Misty. After we lost our Moustache kitty, we got a new black boy.


Love

Thanks, Lori. Yes, I have to admit, I just BEAM with delight, about how good-lookin' my boy (and girl) were! Well, they suited MY tastes perfectly, anyway! If there's to be a next-time-'round for us in this lifetime, I hope I can envision them into being even MORE captivatingly gorgeous than before! But then I wonder....how can you improve upon perfection already achieved?