Despite my belief that our furbabys' souls are safe with God, despite all the things I have said in this site about our furbabys' having had wonderful lives, the bottom line is that I miss Daisy and want her back.

It is amazing what a big hole such a little creature can leave. Nothing can fill it. Nothing can make it better. She is gone and she isn't coming home again, and that's just how it is.


Still grieving,

Daisy's Mommy

believe me, you are not alone. I feel exactly the same way. With all the insensitivity out there for people who have lost a pet, I kep telling myself that even if a million people cared, it wouldn't bring Misty back. And that is the bottom line.

I don't know what else to say to ease your pain, accept acknowledge it. It's totally valid. I am so sorry you have lost Daisy.

Misty's Mama

Dear Daisy's Mom,

I know how you feel. No matter how much we try to tell ourselves things to make ourselves feel better, we miss our babies so much that all we want is to have what we had before: them with us. This is so normal and I want you to know that I fully understand how you feel. I often feel the same way. When I lose a pet (and I've lost many these last few years, mainly because many of my pets are little rodents who only live two to three years, but I attach to them as much as my cats and dogs, etc.) I tend to feel this horrible, numb disbelief; then comes the full grief, the crying, the going to all the familiar places and touching the blankets or spots where they played and slept; then comes the thoughts of how much I miss them, and finally, a kind of resigned acceptance that I can't change what has occurred; so all I can do is celebrate the love I shared with them and be thankful that we had what we had; but I often find myself looking at photos and touching their image in the photo and wishing that I could recapture that moment in time.

What you're feeling is a natural part of grief. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Of course you miss Daisy; you loved her as much as she loved you. That love will always exist between the two of you. Only time will help heal the grief enough to become bearable.

My thoughts are with you at this difficult moment.

Daisy's Mom

I truly understand what you mean. I like to think that Alley is somewhere safe and happy with endless grass to play in and endless pillows to sleep on but like you said.. I want her with me. There is a hole in my heart that nothing and no one else can ever fill. I will eventually have and love another cat again, but there will always be something missing. Alley and I had a bond like never before. My mom used to say she was just like me and vice versa! She was my true soulmate and I will miss her always.

Daisy's Mommy

I think one of the hardest things we do is come to the acceptance that they are gone. It's so like a nightmare we can't wake up from. Just to hold them and kiss them. Just to be able to take care of them again. I wish for that too.

It's true, the hard fact is they are gone and not coming back, no matter what we do. It sucks but there it is. The emptyness they leave and the hole in your heart that nothing can fill, they are things we just find ways to live with.

Thinking of you and Daisy

Daisy's Mommy,

I feel the same way, too. All the ways we try to get through the pain still don't change the basic fact that we now have to live with, somehow, some way. I think ratlover said it best ~ a sort of "resigned acceptance" at some point long down the road.

I've been waking up each morning lately (at 5 months into this) SO depressed I can't stand it. I'm still not accepting that it's all just....over, and that there will BE no repeat of all those heavenly years with my guy and gal. I will never even experience anyone's kittenhood again, because at my age, I'd never be comfortable getting anyone so young again, to possibly outlive me, or even if not that, my ability to provide well enough for them if they were still young and I wasn't. But the truth is just too hard to truly accept. I reel against this new reality pretty much every waking moment, despite trying as hard as I can to use whatever means at my disposal to get beyond feeling so despairing.

I don't know what to tell you, either, because I have no answers I feel confident enough in to really be of use. So all I can say is underneath all the 'bravado' and attempts to heal, I share in the same feelings you're having. THIS is the worst part of the REAL, dirtywork of grief....the place we don't ever want to really go to, or feel, even if it's the most necessary part.

Holding you close in heart,
F.'s Mom

Hi Daisys Mommy,
I'd pretty much like to mirror what the guys above me have said, and I kinda detect a little Ggggrrr! from you in there too, I may be wrong but I think we all get a little Ggggrrr (mad, angry whatever) and why shouldn't we! Cuts doesn't it? That feeling of utter loss, of not being able to change what has happened no matter how much we want to, no matter what we would give to have our little ones back. Right now I've kinda accepted that Tan had to leave and if I could change just one moment in time it would be his last. I'd do whatever I could to make his passing easier...but it's too late, like you said it's just the way it is! I want him back as you want Daisy back, we miss em all the time right?! I beat myself up everyday trying to visualise coming home to see him waiting and I know it only hurts all over again when I walk in and he's not there. But we still do it. And we still will for a while to come...then one day as we gear ourselves up to face the sadness again we will stop...think...take a moment and realise they wont be there and from that moment on each time we think of them it will be with love, a smile, maybe the odd tear but no more Ggggrrr! I long for that day, I can't see it yet, but I hope its there somewhere. I hope its coming for you too sweetheart. Until then I, as everyone else here is too, will be thinking about you and sending you our love. Be strong hunny, be strong.

Dear Daisy's mum,
You are so right - nothing can ever fill the whole they leave. I think of Furry so much every day - every time I wake up in the night, & that's a lot, on & on all day long. No matter how much I try to " take my mind off it" nothing works. I now just accept that this pain will never go away & it's the price I have to pay for loving & being loved so deeply by her. Losing her at only 12 years is some kind of punishment for me, but I don't know why I was punished.
Judith