We went to get Nick's ashes and it was hard, I broke down when the woman handed us the box. I've been doing well otherwise, finding peace in the fact that I don't have to force heart meds down him anymore, listen to him cough and worry constantly. I grieved for months before losing him knowing that it was going to happen. I even feel a tiny bit of relief. I have to remember that no matter how much we love our pets and how well we take care of them, they just don't live as long as we would like. Just 2 short weeks ago this very evening he was sleeping underneath the Christmas tree, when I think of that it kills me. So I'm blocking that out of my mind and remembering the joy he brought us before he starting having problems. Boy this is tough, but I'll be okay. God Bless everyone who said things that helped when I was at my worse and I will pray for everyone that suffers a loss like I did. Mary

Dear Mary...My heart is with you, we haven't received our "box" yet and I am wanting it yet dreading it....I understand your feelings of relief, as we were trying to prepare for the end for so long too and the healthcare problems are over now. Its understandable....I lost my dog only over two weeks ago, seems like a lifetime in some ways, I know Nicki knows how much he was loved and is loved. Take Care, I will be in your place soon..... Tory, Hrudeys Momma

Mary,

I jumped out of bed on the cold foggy morning they told me I could come and get my boys ashes. I made my husband stay at home since he hates to see me cry, and I didn't want to feel I had to supress my tears. It was a dark and very foggy morning, so I told myself my fellow motorists would not see me crying either.
All I could think was I needed him home, it was time to bring him home,and the closer I got to the pet crematory the faster I drove.
A lovely woman with a respectful demeanor, gently placed the bag in my hands. It was warm, if not so warm as Mack was. It was velvet, but not so soft as his muzzle. It was oddly heavy for its apparent size, just as Mackie had been before his illness. And for the first time since the veterinary criticalist had tearfully told me, " it is in his lungs", I felt that I could breath. And for the first time since I noticed he was loosing weight I felt he was safe and no harm could come to him. And for the first time since I left the house, I did cry a few little tears, but they were as near to tears of joy as anything else, and this was the first time I had felt anything like joy for many long weeks, or am likely to feel for many more
I'm glad some part of precious, Nick is home at last.
Thinking of you and your loved one, and sweet Rhudy too.
Macks Mom,
Dayna

Oh Mary

I'm happy you are finding comfort in some small things. It just hurts so bad to lose them. I found the urn a comfort, something I could hold close to my heart. I knew he was home, that helped. It was silly but I put that urn in the places he loved and that was a comfort too. I even brought it in the bedroom so he could 'sleep' with us.

I'm so happy you found understanding and support here. I'm glad Nicky is home.

Love
Lori

Mary

I know how hard it must be for you, but it must be somewhat of a comfort to have Nicky "back home with you". My Alley is buried in my mom's yard under a flowery bush she liked to sleep under. Sometimes I wish I had had her cremated so that I could have her with me, since I won't be able to "visit" her often. At the time she got sick and I found out she was dying, I didn't even think of it, and had no idea it was so common to have them cremated. I was just frantic that they bring her home and not leave her at the vet.

I would get a nice urn for him and place his picture next to it. Someday it will bring your comfort, instead of sadness.

Paula