I lost my boy Hrudey, a red golden retriever, (pronounced Rudy) on Christmas morning as well... he was 14 1/2 years old, a blessing to have him for so long, he had cancer (hemangiosarcoma) when he was 9, and thru surgery recovered and obviously lived much longer than expected..yeah for that I am so grateful, he was my baby, our first child, completely spoiled, and sweet as the days are long, very dependent, my absolute shadow. He would come and give you a kiss after eating his dinner, a thank you!! We didn't know the cancer came back, probably didn't see the signs but really he was his usual self up the the weekend before Christmas, slowed by arthritis and being a senior but no other obvious signs, we went to our weekend home in the mountains, his favorite place, to swim and walk, and have freedom not allowed in the city, his health started to fail, poor appet*ite, weakness, but Sunday night he stopped drinking and was breathing very hard, we took him to an emergency vet the next morning, Thank goodness they were available, on Christmas morning and got the news we knew already, soo hard, I stayed with him, my husband could not, and held him, he went very peacefully. Watching the suffering the night before was so much harder than the final act, I was never so grateful to see the doctor that morning, they were very nice to us. Leaving him was the hardest thing I've done, as he usually comes home with me, over the years. I am so thankful to have found a place on this website to share my pain, my boy, my pal, my buddy...seems so strange, I am looking for him everywhere, I light a candle for him everynight and I tell him that we will be together again.....It's like a chapter in my life is over, and I don't want it to end...Thanks for listening out there!! You are all such special people, you understand. Much Love to you all, Tory

i can,t imagine anything worse than losing your dog christmas morning.i lost my german shepard on the 6th dec.everyday i take my spanial round the same field we walked for over 14 years,and everyday i have tears in my eyes and looking around everywhere as if i expect to see her.it just rips your life apart.she was never away from me.not much i can say to make it better.read my stories listed under: my dog:in this section,it might help you.it might all get easier to live with one day,but i can,t really see that.i had such a deep love and devotion for my girl,i can,t bare being without her.

Tory I am so sorry for your loss. I have just lost (30th dec) my preious boy Shep, an Old English Sheepdog of 14.5 years. I know all too well how bad you are feeling. Shep was my only baby and his loss in indescribable. Your Hrudey sounds just like Shep - he would come over to have his back patted for a burp after eating his dinner, and through the night after having a drink of water, would come and wake me by rubbing his soaking wet beard on my sleeping face. How that used to bug me, but what I'd give for that rude-awakening now.

I am like you - I don't want this chapter in my life to end either but I know there is nothing I can do about it - it seems so unfair that their lives are all too short. I'm sure this is so we appreicate them all the more - I mean, who would look after the way we do if we went before them? It sounds like your Hrudey enjoyed a fantastic life with you and you shuold try to console yourself with that. Take care.

Debbie
Sheps mama

Oh how I feel your pain! I watched my boy hurt all night too and that is the worst. We "cancelled" Christmas because he was recovering from surgery. I can't even imagine losing him on that day. New Year's Eve was bad enough.

Just know that you did the bravest, most unselfish, loving, and best possible thing you could for Hrudey.

V-Angel

Dear Friends, V Angel, Sheps Mom, and Lucky Thank you all for responding to my note, this is my first time posting, I am not too good at this. Thanks for your comments and support it really helps, we lost our 22 year old cat, yes that old, four years ago now, and we still cry for him as well, I am glad to have a place to share. My heart aches for my boy, and is still in a fog, I can't quite believe it happened, almost like a bad dream that you never wake up from, but because he was in such agony in the end, I am glad he is at peace, as I always said I could not ask any more from him, he had been through so many different health problems in his life, I just could not ask him to put up with anymore.

Anyway...thanks for listening, it really does help to hear from others who have been through the same pain.

Hrudey's Mom

Hrudey's Mom

Oh your Hrudey was so handsome! I know you miss him so much. You took such great care of him and you were so strong and loved him through his end. It's so hard to lose them. I know you know, you lost your cat too. I lost a 22 year old cat 10 years ago. Some days that still hurts, I still cry for him and miss him. My cat was Butch, what was the name of your's?

We lost our Moustache kitty 2 months ago. I'm glad you found this place, we help each other.

Thinking of you and your Hrudey (great name)
Lori

Dear Moose's Mom Lori, thanks for asking about Fuzzy, his real name is Frank, yes he was my little pal, and its amazing to me how much I still miss him, I never knew cats before I met my husband, Frank was his buddy, anyway what a guy, he was a real character, an alley cat, and tough as nails, he was so sick in the end with about zero kidney function, and except for the subcu fluids we gave him, you'd never have known it, our vet was amazed by his strength, he was a big Tabby, with a constant smudge of grease on his forehead from sitting under parked cars, he managed to maneuveur them somehow...I am equally sorry for your loss as well, what a pretty cat you have, Thanks its a daily struggle isn't it, hard to make any decisions, I feel like I am leaving my guy behind, someone in an earlier note wrote about not wanting to face the future alone, thats a real issue I feel too. Anyway, you're very kind.

Also, Sheps Mom, I am sorry I didn't mention what a beautiful buddy your Shep, I know the feeling especially when they have been with you so long, I love the wet beard story, I know I love Rudy Boy's fuzzy chin, nothing better than scratching that fur face...its like you know every inch of their entire bodies... from head to toe, Thanks again ladies, you are awesome people, keep your chins up, and I will keep mine up as well. Thats what our guys would want......All the best, Tory

Tory

I just love big male cats with tough names. Butch and Frank, they just fit. Butch had been an alley cat but he was the biggest love. Your Fuzzy was a tough guy with a good nickname. So strong. I remember how much Butch wanted to stay with me. You never forget.

When we lose someone we love so much our reality changes. I don't think so much of 'leaving them behind' I think of it as learning to live in the new reality. Nothing is ever going to 'be the same' or 'go back to normal' and that's very hard. Give yourself time, not being able to think or make decissions is a part of grief. You are in a very new part of the process with Hrudey, at a month things got a tiny bit eaiser for me. At two months I can accept Moustache is gone, as much as I don't want to, and that is big.

Maybe it's not really 'going on alone' as much as going toward them, I know I will see my boys again, just as you will, somewhere, sometime.

Thanks for saying Moose was beautiful.

Love
Lori

This posting brought tears to my eyes, thinking of you losing your dear friend on Christmas day. But, it made me happy to know what a wonderful life you gave him and how he was able to leave this earth with you at his side, without pain or fur.

Is it better to know - probably not, since there is no way to prepare emotionally for such an event.

As to Christmas, your baby left on Jesus' birthday. To me, it seems like a sure sign, that he is safe with God's care, whose love is greater than any we can give.



Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy

Dear Lori, thanks for your words, you're right I am not leaving him behind, he is always with me, I feel that anyway, until we meet again right? I believe that wholeheartedly, in fact I have a feeling he is with my Grandmother an exceptional pet lover, I figure she is caring for all our angel pets right now. Those happy memories do help heal the pain...It is a little better everyday now....You're very kind.

Dear Daisy's Mom, now you brought tears to my eyes, you're right I do feel that the day being Christmas was an extra special one...at first it didn't matter the day, but when the vet tech mentioned that it was too bad, I told her that maybe it was a blessing to be on that day....I am feeling a little better but now feel a little bad about feeling better, more crazy feelings.... I even feel strange with his picture on the website, its makes it more of a reality.... but then again, I am so proud of him I want to share him with everyone....he was a very special buddy, my first child really, I got him before I was married, before I had a baby, he was the first, and let me tell you, spoiled, like crazy....every thing we did he was involved in the decisions, where we went for vacation, dog friendly and near water, how we went, car of course, where we live, buying our weekend house, we joke that it was for Hrudey boy, well, in alot of ways it was, he enjoyed it so much. Anyway, here I go rambling...thanks for listening, its helpful to read everyone's comments.. Take care to all of you...Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Tory,
You mentioned in a few other posts that your husband and daughter wanted to get a puppy. I know it's really hard for you to even think about it right now. Looking at dry photos on the internet isn't really going to put that spark in your heart. If they're really that serious I would suggest that you go -- without them -- to visit some dogs in a shelter or somewhere and don't tell them. Tell the shelter people exactly why you're there. The shelter people I spoke with today were so compassionate! Look around at the guys & gals in need. You might want to play with someone. Maybe that will help loosen you up a little. I'm not trying to sound pushy. It sounds like your husband and daughter already are really pushing this. I'm hoping to help you find a way to open up to the idea a bit. Better you do it yourself than to give in to nagging and end up resenting the new dog.

If you're looking for a certain breed of dog, there are breed rescue groups that take in purebred dogs that people don't want anymore. Usually it's for stupid reasons like the were unfamilar with the breed and didn't know the personality quirks. Or they wanted a hunting dog, show dog, herding dog, etc. and this dog wasn't going to work out. Or the dog barks or chew up a shoe or peed in the house or they just don't have time for it. Sometimes they pick them up from kill shelters so they don't get put down when no one claims them. And then there's the retired greyhounds, who are actually couch potatoes.

You're not going to find a dog like Hrudey because there's never going to be another dog like him. But you might find a really great dog that really really needs a loving home like the one Hrudey had. And I promise Hrudey will be happy to help a fellow out.

Good Luck!

Thanks V-Angel....for your ideas,

I think you're right going there alone to visit them, and a rescue is what I feel better about, a pal who really needs a home...my husband wants to give my daughter the puppy experience so I am hoping we can find a puppy thru a rescue program... I am really a dog/pet person and this time around we are having at least two because losing the only one is such a lonely horrible feeling,

I am afraid when I see a new guy or gal pal that I will hurt again because its not my boy.....I also worry about getting another Golden, maybe I shouldn't there are so many great breeds....you're right about the pressure issue from the family, it wouldn't be fair to the new dog, but I am trying to be open to the idea, it just kills me thinking about it, but sometimes is sounds worse than it is in reality.. Thanks for caring and writing back, and I am open to all the help that I can get at this point..let me tell you... Thanks!

Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Ewww, maybe you should get a baby brother or sister. The puppy experience isn't all it's cracked up to be. Housebreaking, teething/chewing, digging, puppy proofing the house, and having to come home every 4 hours. Kind of like having a toddler. Maybe it's just me. I've already thought long and hard about that one and decided I hate shampooing my carpet. I say teach your daughter to help the homeless. Whatever works for you guys though. Can you tell I've really got a thing going for homeless dogs right now?

But yes yes yes--please consider a rescue puppy!! If you want 2 dogs, how about a puppy and an adult? The adult will actually help train the puppy. I checked on Petfinder.com before I wrote this and there are over 2,000 Goldens. Some of them are adults and some are mixed, but they all need homes.

Have a long talk with your husband about your motives for wanting a purebred puppy. Are you going to show him/her? Obedience, adgility or hunting competion? Or is it just a status thing?
I'll tell why I have purebreds. My ex-husband and I trained 2 German Shorthaired Pointers and one Vizsla (my Copper) for pheasant hunting and show. None of them were rescue dogs because they were purchased for this specific purpose, not just as pets. They were all purchased from breeder with excellent reputations and had parents (NOT grandparents) who where show and/or field champions and/or had senior or master hunter t*itles. Our GSP Patton was the most promising but died as a pup from a bowel obstruction. Copper was gun shy and over-sized for show, so he was neutered. Our GSP Max one a few Best of Breeds in puppy matches, but his body shape changed when he got old enough to get his CH. He got his Junior Hunter t*itle, refused to retrieve to hand and couldn't be finished any further so he was neutered. THAT is what a RESPONSIBLE breeder does. Those who truly love the breed will NOT breed any dog who isn't t*itled. They do NOT look at breeding as a way to make money, but as a way to contribute to the best of the best and end up spending way more money than they could ever hope to make unless they are also professional trainers or manage to get a dog that is so good that it can consistantly win the high buck competions. Those dogs are few are far between, it's like hitting the lottery. Responsible breeders NEVER NEVER sell dogs to pet stores. Dogs in pet stores usually come from "puppy mills" (evil evil places). Now I'm looking for the show dog who wasn't good enough. Or the gun shy dog. Or the English Pointer, GSP, Vizsla, or Weimeraner that someone got because they wanted a "purebred" but had no idea the dog was bred to run in a field looking for birds for 8 hours straight. It's hard for rescues looking for the right homes for these dogs to place them because of that. I have 15 years experience with these types of dogs, know what they need, and am able to provide it. Penny IS a purebred rescue vizsla -- 6 months in foster care because she was very hard to place with her abusive background. Now I need a brother/sister for her who can keep up with her engery level.

There a ALOT of Goldens out there who are homeless just because they are active dogs and they shed. How disgusting is that? People get dogs because they think they're pretty. DUH! I think Goldens are very beautiful, but they're not on my list because I know I can't keep up with the fur! I'd love a dog that looks like your gorgeous Hrudey -- until it came time to get out the brush or vacuum. Sorry, but I've got a vizsla that needs at least 3 - 2 hour runs per week and it's tough keeping up on that. You gotta know your limits.

If you go with a new breed, read about them at akc.org. Then follow the links to the breed clubs and rescue orgs. and see what they say about them. The breed clubs are a good place to find a breeder if you decide to go that way. The people at the rescue org's and breed clubs will also be very helpful helping you decide if you're going with the right breed. Too many people will breed their dogs just because the dog has AKC papers and they want to make a quick buck. Remember, just because a dog has AKC papers doesn't make it a "quality" dog. Popular breeds are overbred and end up carrying "common defects" because of it, ie deaf dalmations, labs with bad hips, aggressive rottweilers. Dogs with t*itled parents are much much less likely to carry these traits. It's better off that the "backyard breeders" have to learn their lesson by ending up stuck with puppies they can't sell or end up losing money on so they learn their lesson.
Read this too:
How to find a good breeder

Reading all these stories of why some of these dogs end up in shelter or rescues has really been getting to me! Honestly! These jackazzez are getting dogs WHY?!?!?! Explain please?!?!?! Here we are missing our babies so much it's killing us while some idiots are getting a divorce and no one wants the dog! I almost had a custody battle over Copper! And don't EVEN get me started on the overpopulation of cats because people are too darned lazy and/or cheap to get them fixed! Ok, enough of that rant.
Hey, here's a thought. Have your husband watch Animal Cops on Animal Planet if he's not open to a rescue dog. That could turn him around really quick. Those poor furbabies go through hell at the hands of people and then some of them go on to be adopted into loving homes and become the best furbabies their new people have ever had. Oh how I wish they let the animal cops carry guns! They probably don't because it would be too tempting for them too shoot some of those people. I love it when the "people cops" show up and haul 'em away in handcuffs! I really love it when the people go to jail sometimes. Rot away I say! You might not want to though. Sometimes there's some pretty sad endings.
Now I'm done with the rant... I mean it this time!

Tory, this is very understandable. That's why I think you should go at a time that it's not really busy and tell them everything that's going on before you go in to see the dogs. Maybe even call first. When we went to the shelter yesterday, it seemed like all the volunteers knew our story within 5 minutes. Everyone was so kind. Remember, these people are animal lovers all the way. They'll understand just as much as everyone here does.

I get it Tory! I'm here for you! I support any decision you make (except going to a "pet store" Those come from puppy mills - the most evil places of all!)
WOW! I just realized what a long post this is! See, I do care. Ok, alot of it was my rant about homeless babies -- sorry. Anyhow, I am a fairly experienced dog person (and finishing my BS in psychology, not a professional though) so please feel free to ask me anything. I'll skip the rant next time.

V-Angel

I went to a pet store a couple weeks ago. I'm not allowed to have pets at my apartment, but I was so miserable and feeling bad because I couldn't be with Alley when she died, that I just had a great urge to hold a cat, pet one, feel its soft fur. It was too soon. I stood there petting cats through the cages, crying like a baby in the middle of the store and had to leave.

It will be a month tomorrow since Alley's passing. I know that I will never find another cat like her. She was special and always will be. However, I've been looking at shelter ads on the internet, etc. and I feel so bad for the little kitties that need homes. I know it wouldn't be the same but I also know that I could give some little kitty a good loving home (as soon as my lease is up and I move somewhere that allows pets). Now I'm looking forward to that time. Not because I've "got over" Alley, that will never happen. I would rather have her than any pet in the world but that doesn't mean I couldn't love another little one, almost as much.

So take your time, visit a shelter alone to see how you handle it. It WILL hurt because the dogs you see are not your boy, but maybe you will also feel that sense of responsibility that I do, because some dog out there really needs a home, and you have a wonderful home to give them.

Tory



Oh wow, that thought would comfort me, thanks grandma. Thinking of her with all the little ones with her, so nice.

I hope you do find a way to get a new furry friend soon. V-Angel is full of great advise.


I so agree with you, that is why we do have a new baby. I was so afraid after my Moustache died that something would happen to our Autumn kitty, who is just a couple of months older than Moose was. I knew if we lost her, and there was no one to come home too, I couldn't come home. I'm wishing you all the best.

Love
Lori

V... you are so amazing, I love your passion, and do not worry I am completely aware of the puppy mill issue, I have never or would ever get a dog from a pet store....I guess we went with a breeder because I wanted to have some assurance on his health and temperment and am afraid of not knowing all the parts of a mixed breed dog, we want the fun loving, active, swimmer is a must, good with kids etc...temperment a must....but again now that I am older and hopefully wiser a breed specific rescue would be perfect, definantly an older and a younger....I think,

well we have some household (may be moving to another state) issues to resolve before we can actually adopt so, I may be crying before I need to...I just miss him like crazy. Today was my first day back at work, without taking him for the morning walk, going back home after dropping child at school without making his breakfast, no music left on for him, no need to....I even leave the back door open, it was for him, and I am of course since some of you have had after life experiences, yes I am envious, hoping "he" will come in, again I am nuts,

I will most certainly take your advice to heart, you are obviously experienced with hunting dogs, you must live in an area conducive to the running and training etc... oh and funny about the golden issues...you're right about the infernal brushing and bathing, don't forget the flea issues and allergies resulting in more lotions, potions, shampoo's special dry skin treatments, he had more hair products than I do... and about a 45 minute blow dry, forget the hair, you just live with it, everywhere...but that's okay what I would give to use the anti lint roller, we are pretty much dogs on the couch kind of people, burning out the vacuum frequently...but I love a furry dog, fur-less, I got a problem with, that is so silly I know I was brought up with collies, shelties.... and springer spaniels, I guess I have dog fuzz on the brain..I appreciate your help and great ideas...you're funny about the puppy issues, we forget don't we, and please at 47, the only babies in our house are going to dog babies, well you made me laugh... thanks for that and I will be back for more advice I assure you... :-)

Dear Alley's Mama, I know honey I see people walking their dogs and it tears me up...when you're ready right? how do you know when you are?.....

Dear Lori, Thanks for noticing my note about my grandmother, we called her Nama, and I am telling you she was such a dog lover, had many of her own, and lost many obviously too...she had a story of her old spaniel who got separated from her in the country, I can't remember the details, I believe he was with my uncle, a gun club guy, (targets only....this was back in the day) and as V mentioned I believe he was gun shy and may have run off, well, he was about 20 miles out in the country, out of the city where they lived...well to make a long story short, it was two weeks later they figured he was gone for good, here comes this poor bedraggled soul, full of thorns, mud, paws raw, walking down their street, it was Laddie he had found his way home..not kidding you...anyway, her heaven is with her dogs, and I know she would love my buddy too, you know there are some people, and pets you can feel are still around, and she is a soul who is still around, and influencing everything. She loved flowers, music, art, books, her family and probably most of all her dogs...thanks for letting me share that, it means alot to me.. :-)

You are all so cool...thanks so much!!
Tory Hrudey's Momma

Tory -

how do you know when you're ready... I wish I knew. But I do know that somday, somewhere out there, will be a little furball, perhaps sent by Hrudey, just for you. There's no way to know when or where it will be, but when you meet him, you will know. I understand about the moving issues also. I can't have any pets until I move from my apartment and the lease is not up until July so maybe by then, I will be ready to love again.

Paula

Oh good! I was thinking they wanted to go right away to look at dogs. That gives you more time then. Even so, I still vote for the rescue dog! You might also be interested in the Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever if you like Goldens. Actually, there are quite a few breeds of water retrievers and spaniels (like water spaniels) that might work out for you, so don't limit yourself.

Yes, I live in Wisconsin. We live in a city, but are only 15 minutes away from a state park that has water fowl and upland bird hunting and training grounds as well. So I've also hung out with the spaniels, wirehairs, labs, goldens, and Chessies and got to know those breeds also.

I had a ##er Spaniel and spent more time on his hair than mine. And that was in the 80's when hair took forever! I swore after that there'd be no more. So when I got into the Sporting dogs, the shorthaired breeds were a natural choice.

Now I have to eat those words......
Like I said, don't limit yourself. Someone might surprize you!

Love
V

Tory

Welcome, the stories about Nana were wonderful. My mom passed in 2005, but she was NOT a pet lover. I hope my guys found someone like Nana to be with. Your guys are lucky.

Love
Lori

Hi Moose's Mom, Alley's Mom, and V,

I had a difficult day today, I have been trying to reach Hrudey's regular vet for about a week..to tell her about his passing, (it was with an emergency vet out of town) and it has been very hard to do emotionally, and also difficult to reach her as well, I tried again today, with all our crazy family business, moving and giving my notice today, and trying to actually work, we played phone tag, the last call I missed I called her right back, well she was gone for the day, the receptionist, kept asking "what's the message," "what can we tell her" etc, I kept saying just tell her to call me.....I didn't want to tell her this way but finally I just blurted it out, "my dog was put to sleep on Christmas", well then I felt like crap, she'll feel badly, and also that I can't devote enough time right now to my grief, I just put the phone down and cried and cried. My boy is gone is all I know, and I can't imagine "moving on" without him..

Tory, Hrudey's momma

Oh Sweetie!

Just yesterday I had to do the same thing myself. My vet didn't get the final report on Copper because there was no staff in the surgeon's office that day and nothing was ever sent to her. So when we went in for shots I had to tell her everything I could remember and the best I could do was D.I.C. and hemo-something-sarcoma. Under normal cir%%stances she would have been the one to have done the surgery but because her clinic was going to be closed for a week we had to go somewhere else. Then I did my whole thing about Buckwheat was going to die at any minute. But you know what? She was compassionate and understanding about everything. And I'm sure your vet will be too.

I know the thought of moving on without your best guy is tough. Take it day by day, a little bit at a time. Granted it's so hard to do, but you'll get there.

Love,
V

thanks V, you and gang of great people here are always there for me.... I know that vets deal with this everyday...it feels like you want the world to stop for your crisis, but it doesn't and really its part of the healing process as well I think...I think its a combination of everything going on, leaving my job of 18 years as well as leaving my boy within a short amt of time is just hitting home.

On the news last night I saw a story about a huge group of dogs and cats that had been rescued from a rescue group due to mistreatment.., they have been staying at good place in Long Beach but their time is running out, their little faces inside those cages just kills me...what is the matter with this world.

Hope your buddies are all well... and your worries as well. Best Wishes,
Tory, Hrudey's Momma AKA Hrudey's Hrescue Hranch...location Colorado.

Tory,
I saw on another post that your vet was very hurried when she called you back and it didn't go so well. I'm so sorry to hear that. She should have waited for a quiter time in her office to call you. Maybe that was the only time she knew she could reach you? For what very little it's worth, some vets wouldn't have even called back. Even so, big mistake on her part in my book!

I get it about wanting the world to stop. Me too! School started yesterday. Yikes! I was thinking of picking up another class, but now no way! And I'm involved in student government and vice president of a student organization. There was a student organization fair so I had to split my time between recruiting new members and political BS. On top of all of that, I'm doing a radio show on campus this semester and yesterday was my very first one. I had no idea how to work the equipment. It was somewhat of a mess. I left there yesterday thinking how on earth am I going to do this? Not quite leaving a job of 18 years and moving to a new state, but I hear ya!

Usually when they show the faces of dogs and cats in serious need in a big city or near a big city, people come in and scoop them up. At least that's what always happens around here. So it could turn out to be a blessing in disguise for those guys. Even so, how on earth did that first rescue group get a license in the first place?!?!?!

Love,

v

HI again V., You sound like you have alot on your plate as well, yikes and double yikes, and yes the doc was pretty short. Its a good example of the big city for you, and one big reason for leaving, everyone is just so busy, no time to explain things, no time to talk....I am just tired of it.....I guess because he was at the end of his life...granted a long life, she was pretty matter of fact...and see I hate to tell this story because I know many dogs didn't survive this problem and I don't want others to feel badly about their situation, but he was diagnosed with that same cancer at age 9, and a huge tumor was removed, (10 lb) and no spreading noted, no chemo nothing was needed....and he survived since that time, he really was a miracle boy, in so many ways I am grateful and always have been for the extra time. Anyway...I did get a beautiful poem from the emerg vet in Big Bear, when I have some strength I will share it with everyone, it was very nice, so oh well right... we go on and think of those poor little souls rescued twice. Who knows how these things happen? It does help to channel your care in a direction that can benefit....

Hope your day at work is better tomorrow. I am really nervous now about the move, but I just keep thinking that when we move we can buy an actual house and have as many pets as we want, its helping the motivation, along with the lifestyle change.

I have a friend in Colorado who has a very cute golden named Kodi Ray, I so love the name...anyway I am afraid I will just throw down and spoon him immediately... it's a hug thing, okay? only if he['s okay with it... there is no better hug, then I will get some mighty strange looks.

Peace and Love to you, and everyone out there tonight. Tory, Hrudey's Momma

Tory,
Don't feel guilty that Hrudey survived cancer even though Copper didn't. Nothing in life is fair right down to the fact that dogs don't live to be 50.

I know what the spoon thing is... I say go for it! Then bury your face in his fur and have a good cry!

Love,
V

I still have some difficult days. Just when I think its safe to wear mascara again, I turn some corner and run headlong into some fresh grief.

Yesterday the mailman brought the last statement for Macks' Carecredit bill, and I handled that okay, but then I broke down in the petfood isle at Costco.
We hadn't been there since just before Macks illness. On that day C and I stood there along time discussing if he needed a new bed, if so what kind, blah...blah blah. And last night all I could think was " is this where I was when cancer stole into my house to rob me of my boy? " I had to go out to the car. I couldn't stop blubbering, C had to finish our shopping by himself.

I' thrilled to hear that sweet Hrudey survived his cancer. By doing so he struck a blow for Mack and Copper.

Thinking of you all today,
Dayna

Spoon that Goldie angel for me.

HI V and Dayna,

Thanks for the continued kind words, I had an equally emotional weekend, we closed up our Big Bear house, Hrudey's favorite place, because we are selling it, normally I would have been so sad but without him it took some of the pain out of leaving, but I took his three dog blankets to the vet there who took care of him at the end, to donate, it felt good to pass some comfort to other dogs I remember how he seemed to rest easier when the vet tech gave him a blanket, he closed his eyes, and I figure knew he was going to be taken care of...anyway I got in the car and just lost it all the way home, seems like I can't cry hard enough and afterwards feels empty anyway, like how did it help anyway, he's still gone. Its a strange combination of feelings...yes we're a mess right now. I found the actual vet bill with the euthanasia solution written on it, stung my heart forever....my only comfort is that since we are packing up to move, he is not around to see it because you know how they react to moving, its so hard on him, he would have been so nervous..not fair to put him through that at his advanced age. Peace to you both, and watch out I am looking for a dog to spoon!!..... :-)

Tory, Hrudey's Momma