Yesterday, being the second day since I lost my little boy, I was a mess. I couldn't stop crying and was almost hysterical. Today I've cried a few times, but I feel like I'm going to be okay. This was a long time coming and not having to listen to him cough anymore is a little bit of a relief. It was 20 long months of caring for him, it exhausted me and messed with my health. I would have done it for another 5 years if I could have, but I think God thought I'd done it long enough. He's in heaven with my Mom, I have to believe that.

I enjoyed reading Daisy's mommy's messages about things people like to remember about their pets. I'm not quite ready to share in that, but I will one day.
This is one of the most painful things I've ever had to endure, but it was worth it. I just hope my husband comes around and feels the same. He says he doesn't ever want to go through it again. Right now I'm caring for my 88 year old father and his 2 shih tzus. They're wonderful dogs, but I don't have that bond with them. I really think in a few months I'd like to get another one. I miss a puppy running around. No one could ever replace Nicky, but I know he wouldn't want to see me this upset and I need to love again. Three dogs would drive me crazy, but one of my dad's dogs is Nicky's cousin, he's 12 and is just starting the heart meds that Nicky was on so I know his time is limited.

Thanks again to the responses I got, they really helped. In fact this whole website is wonderful. Mary

mary1100

I'm so sorry you lost your Nicky. It's so hard to lose our little ones. For me the first week was the hardest. Hang in there, and remind your husband of all the good times you had with Nicky. It takes a while to get to the place where you can think of a new baby, everyone is different. Just remind him of the joy.

We lost our Moustache kitty 2 months ago, he was a sick baby all of his 10 years, but I would have done anything to keep him with me.

Just know it takes time but it does get better, some. There is life after a much loved one passes. When a loved one dies, your reality changes. Things never get back to normal, you just learn to live in the new reality. Know that you will have days when you think, hey I'm doing good, and the next day is so bad. Grief is just like that. On good days take care of yourself and your loved ones.

If you have a picture of Nicky, I'd love to see it.

Thinking of you
Lori