Hi everyone,

I am trying to comfort myself, because my sweetheart, Oreo, ALWAYS worked SO hard to comfort me, even when she herself didnt feel good (my precious angel!!!!!! i miss her SO......;'( ;'( ;'( ;'(.......................................i want to HONOR her, the love, devotion, and comfort we gave each other, and our neverending love bond!!!!!!!!!

I have alot of health problems, chronic pain, and anxiety disorders.................i have been really missing the actual physical comfort Oreo gave me so unconditionally and selflessly, as well as the stress relief and peace................she also reduced my physical pain!! (my best friend, how i love and miss her!!! ;'( ;'( ;'( ;'( She was not only my BEST friend, but my ONLY friend, as well, because i'm not able to "get out" and socialize really right now or work because my treatment for my illnesses is so intense...................

I went with my mom to the humane society yesterday, just because i wanted to be around some animals again AND i wanted to give some love to homeless furbabies there...............also i thought it might comfort me a bit (in keeping with my honoring/loving Oreo by trying to allow myself to feel comfort)

I went to look at the dogs, and 2 of them touched my heart..........a 5 yr. old english ##er spaniel who is a stray...........and an 8 yr. old australian shepherd whose "family" didnt care for an ear infection, and he lost his one ear and is dumped at the shelter now........................;'( they both were kissing me, and loving on me alot...........so gentle and sweet (of course not AS as my baby girl, Oreo, but..............................................

I just hate to see suffering in animals.........my mom loves them too, so today i think the whole family is gonna go look at them together.........................

I am terribly conflicted though............... I am still reallyyyyyyyy grieving my Oreo ;'( ;'(......................but it's been 17 years since i havent had a furbaby in the house.............we got our precious bunny when i was in like 8th grade, and Oreo a year before Baby went to heaven.

i promised my babies, Oreo and Baby, that i would NEVER get another bunny or guinea piggie-to honor my LOVE for them and THEIRS for me!!!!!!!! *sigh* but, ive never had a dog.............i just dont know what to do...............................

Oreo went to heaven on Oct. 13............................would having a dog or dogs help me to cope a TINY bit better with my grieving?? is it too soon????? am i being DISLOYAL or HURTING my best friend and soulmate and sweetheart, Oreo, by even CONSIDERING this??????? ;'( ;/ ;/ OF COURSE, NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!! will EVER "replace" my Oreo baby girl or my Baby little boy- THAT IS JUST A GIVEN...........................

what does everyone think???? thanks for ANY insight you can give me.......................

I don't think it's disloyal at all to want another furbaby. No one will ever replace your beloved Oreo or Baby, and I think it would honor them for you to share your heart with another pet. Only you will know when the time is right to adopt another furbaby, but you have so much love to give, and there are so many animals out there who need a loving home.

I totally agree, if you find an animal that touches you Oreo and Baby would not be upset. And would know that you haven't forgotten them. Just follow your heart.

xxJaz

OreosMama,

Although it certainly isn't disloyal to welcome another furry soul into your life, I have to wonder if you're truly ready for this step, as you said yourself:


Even though you need to take care of yourself and your needs, it is also, in my opinion, of utmost importance to consider the needs of the one who will be adopted. If you find, after the fact, that your heart's not really ready to care for another, that animal would then have to be returned to the stresses of the shelter, after having gotten his/her hopes up of having a new family...and that wouldn't be fair to them. If, however, your mother would be willing to be the main caregiver and emotionally bond with another animal, even if you're not up to it, then at least this animal would still be given a lifetime of love, and you could be more like a friend, but w/o all the responsibilities. Then if your outlook and heart changed later, you could still develop a deeper bond with this animal. I just don't think it's wise to experiment via someone else's life (if you're not forced into a situation) w/o careful consideration of their needs, too.

So I'd suggest you talk about this possibility in advance with your mother (and family, if applicable) and also try to gauge whether you're really ready first, or if you're only really hoping to avoid fully feeling the pain of your grief and the length of time it may take to journey through it. (it is so often very scary to face such intense pain, especially when it takes so long to go through!) If there's any way you could possibly care for an already-owned animal for a short stint, this might be one way you could assess more easily how you might react and feel if you had your own again.

If you'd read any of my own posts about my recent story regarding the stray cat who landed on my doorstep, you'll see how conflicted I was, too...but after HAVING to tend to this little guy for about 1.5 wks, it made me readily aware that I was NOT ready to take on that kind of responsibility and level of emotional attachment before I'd taken as long as needed to fully grieve my Nissa's loss. Yes, it was so comforting to hold, stroke, kiss and sniff this guy...but the harder and necessary OTHER ingredients (healthcare, schedules, constant emotional availability) weren't going to be easy enough for me to handle, so I had to let him go elsewhere, for BOTH our sakes.

I hope this other perspective might help you in deciding and looking into your heart more closely. I'm quite sure you can find the answers you need there if you do your 'homework' first Best of luck and let us know what you decide.

Hey Laura

Of course you are not being disloyal or hurting your Oreo or Baby. You are not replacing them nor forgetting them, that will never happen, you will love them forever.

Ask yourself if Oreo ever wanted to see you in pain and upset and you know your answer. Oreo would want for you whatever would help. Oreo loved you. Love is love and helping out another fur baby is a loving thing to do. Just be very good to your new baby because you are honoring Oreo and Baby's teachings of love. They taught you how to love a furbaby. Love the new guy in memory of them.

I have my physical and mental challenges too, and I never feel better than when I am taking care of my babies.

Love
Lori

Hi, OreosMom

When I lost Sherman, I swore I would never get another pet. Guess what?
Last Saturday I got a little pug. His name is Bandit. He in no way replaces Sherman, but he has been a real comfort to me. This is my first experience with pugs. I have always had miniature schnauzers. Christmas just was not going to seem the same without a little furbaby. I can not advise you one way or the other but I can tell you that I now look forward to Christmas again. I have already purchased Bandit's Christmas stocking.

It's not disloyal to love another baby. You don't stop loving your others, and they know that. When it's right for you, and you can take care of the new baby, you will know. There are so many babies needing homes. I went to the shelters and tried to comfort the cats. It was so hard to see them there and for selfish reasons. People are so cruel to animals. If someone who can love them is willing and able to take them in, it's a good thing. Your other babies would want that too. You'll know when it's time.

I believe that the final gift that we can give our beloved pets, after they leave this earth, is to be happy again. That is what they want for us. It is not disloyal to get another pet. In fact, I believe that if you get an animal in need from a shelter, it is a wonderful way to honor your departed furbaby. What better way to say how much he or she meant to you than to save another animal in his/her name.

I even think that your furbabies would understand if you got another guinea pig, or even two (or two rabbits) since both guinea pigs and rabbits are herd animals and like the company of their own kind, as well as human company. Just make sure they are both females, or you will have too many pets. Rather than feeling betrayed, your furbabies would know that they made you love guinea pigs or bunnies so much that you cannot live without the company of those darling little animals. (So few people really appreciate how loving these little animals are!)

Just remember that love is limitless. Getting new pets, when you are ready, will not make you love or miss Oreo or Baby less. The new pets will not replace them. Your love will encompass all of them.

Best wishes,

Daisy's Mommy