Yesterday I couldn't cry,today I can't stop the tears. I think I'm starting to realize that she is gone. The tears are coming like a tidal wave .

I called the vet to see if I needed to bring a box when I picked her up Sat am. They put her in a small white plastic lined box and curled her up like she was sleeping with her paws covering her eyes

I had to put her to sleep on Tues then go to work so I had to leave her at the vet's and she's in the freezer.
God this is so unfair to her. I had to work all of this around my work schedule. She has been in the freezer for 2 days now waiting for me to pick her up and I have to work 12 hours tomorrow just so I can have Sat off to take her to be cremated.

I can't stand the thought of being without her. I just lost Emily to the same thing on May 6th and now I've lost Misty too.It hurts, the pain is unbearable right now but I know from experience that in time my pain will lessen.

I feel like I'm on autopilot. I'm going thru the motions but that's about it. I can't stand the thought of going to work ,I want to stay home and cry but I can't.
I feel like I'm going crazy....again.

Knowing that she is with all the other furbabies does make it a bit easier. At least I don't have to worry about her. I know she is safe and not in any pain.

Misty I'm so sorry for the way your life had to end.You were there for me thru divorce, death, when I remarried, relocation, thru the good and the bad and you never asked for anything.Please don't ever forget how much Mommy loves you and I promise we'll be together again someday.

I am glad that you are begining to cry. It will help you to get it all out. I am so sorry that you had to leave Misty at the vet's. I was lucky as the vet arranged transportation for Dugan to the place where he was cremated. I am so sorry for your loss and the fact that you have to do the gut wrenching act of picking Misty up and delivering her to the cremation place. I hope you have someone there that will help you. I just want to reach thru the screen and hug you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dugan's Mom
Krissyo

Emily's mom,
Cry as much as you need to! I could have filled an ocean with all of the tears I shed during Precious' illness and death. I still cry sometimes but not as much as in recent weeks. Time will heal you, and you will find room in your heart and home for another but do not rush it...you will know when the time is right. Patches (my new one) is such a sweet baby but "angel Precious" is still looking after his mom, I can feel it. That bond cannot be broken, even by physical death. I still hug and kiss his wooden urn several times a day, always upon waking and the first thing after I get home from work every day. Patches knows and has accepted that "number one" is still Precious but he doesn't mind. He still gets love and attention, almost as much as I gave Precious in life.
Precious' picture is still my computer wallpaper at work and at home! I get a great feeling looking at his sweet face and remember the good times and smile. My baby's doing just fine in his safe haven!!
Lisa

I'm so sorry for your losses!!! My heart is with you as you try to go on in this life. It makes it harder that most people can't begin to understand what this grief is like, so we don't get the support and understanding that we need. I'm just glad you found this site!

Maybe some day you could adopt another needy animal in Misty's honor? Whatever you do, remember that Misty loves you very much!

Sending you prayers of peace and comfort. You deserve lots of comfort. Please let us know how you're doing.

-Kathy

Emily's Mom,

I was frozen, or feeling dead to feelings, for about 2-3 wks. after losing our girl, Nissa. And although I still get 'pockets' of frozen times, I've finally started to cry, too.....but it's so incredibly painful that most times I can only allow a wee, little bit in before I have to shut it off again. From this, I know it's going to take a long, long time for me to get through my grief over her. Sometimes it's so bad that it truly feels like I will either go insane, or it will kill me....but not quickly as I'd hope!

I also wanted to share that we still have Nissa's body, at home in our deepfreeze, just as we'd done with her brother, a few years before. The casket we'd ordered still hasn't come and I believe I'll be waiting 'til next spring to even bury her. I don't plan on cremating either of them for a few years yet, after which we'll do both, separately. For now, though, they'll end up laying next to each other in our yard. I only want them eventually cremated for when we move, at some as-yet-undetermined time, as I could never leave their bodies behind.

My Little Nis' also got me through so many traumas and other passings ( her brother's, most significantly ), so I understand how impossible it seems to ever go on without them in our lives......it scares the bejeezers outta me, frankly! But I'm working on trying so hard to feel her still here.....just in the middle of reading "We're Their Heaven" by Allison Dubois, to be followed by Kim Sheridan's "Animals and the Afterlife", as I haven't gotten enough signs, or as strong ones, as I seem to need to REALLY see she's hanging around me still. ( didn't have this same problem with her brother, as his signs came thick, fast and BIG and have never stopped coming in all these years ) And yet, I DO believe they NEVER really leave us....I just need more proof from my girl, to know for absolutely certain, that SHE'S as okay as I know her brother is. But half the time I'm still in shock, so maybe that's dulling my senses somewhat.....I don't really know, but this isn't what I was expecting with her passing.

I don't think I've been much help to you here, but know that you're in my thoughts, and that my heart breaks for you, too.