I had to put my dachshund pet of 6 years to sleep after total paralysis set in. I was very sad but understood that her quality of life was gone. I waited two months and knew that I wanted another pet. I searched breeders and finally found this tiny little mini doxie last week. I brought her home and spent many hours with her beginning training. Two days ago I was out with my little puppy (she weighed 2 lbs). some of my neighbors came out and played iwth her. It was time to go inside, she had gotten so excited with all the attention. I had a piece of paper in my left hand so I picked her up with my right hand and as I was bringing her close to my chest, she wiggled and jumped out of my hand. She landed on the ide walk. She died within 30 seconds. I feel so bad and I cry all dy long. I feel so stupid that I should of known to pick her up more securely. Even though all my friends and family tell me it was an accident. I feel that I kileed my puppy. Everyone reading this is a pet lover so please forgive me for what I did

I,m sorry for both your losses.
You are not alone in your saddness , My little starry is only 9 months and 5 lbs.
They have figured out the cause of her meningoencephalomyelitis is caused by a toxoplasmosis. which means it can come from a parasite like from raw meat or cat feces.
I remember once when she was a puppy I went to a upscale pet store and they talked me into giving her raw meat medalions. I think I gave her the disease and every day I hold her and ask her to forgive me.
I am so mad at myself and should have known better. I am old enough to know better, and get mad at myself and God for me being so STUPID!!!
They will not confirm this IS the cause as it can come from the mother. I am confused if I have all the medical facts straight on this and feel like the Dr's get annoyed at my brainpicking of trying to find out all the info since her diagnosis's are so complex.
I told my long story here bc I understand how frustrating losing a pet is no matter what the reason and I forgive you.
At least she did not suffer long if that helps..
Take care and don't be afraid to let another pet love you, Starry's mom

JMS, I'm so sorry for your loss. I know you must be at wits end at the situation. No need to apologize to us as it was an accident and could have happened to anyone. There are many postings on here from people who made mistakes that caused the death of their fur baby. It is tragic but the thing to remember is it was an accident. You can play the coulda/shoulda game but in the end it won't bring her back. Hopefully soon you'll be able to feel ready to give your love to another puppy and start over again.

Take care -

Chris

Hi,

I'm the Loss of Jezebel poster and, after my housemate finally got back home this past Sunday morning, we buried her on Enchanted Forest Trail on Lookout Mountain here in Colorado. Burying her in such a beautiful shady spot with other birds chirping away as we did it helped the healing a lot.

I'm like you in that I'm pretty certain that I was responsible for her passing most directly and I don't expect feeling that way to change, so I'm hoping that you'll also give yourself credit and not just blame. You're among the special people who choose to go outside the human boundaries and open your heart to others. You do the best you can to give them a good life and I'm certain they know that when they're alive and also when they're gone.

Do spend some time thinking about all the good things you've done and how good your heart and intentions are. I've spent nights trying to feel comfort reminding myself of all the things I did to care for her and it has left me missing her, but also knowing that I didn't do her wrong. I'm sure it is the same with you.

I think a lot of folks here hold themselves in some way at least partly if not completely responsible for the loss of a pet, at one time or another. I beat myself up every day wishing I'd left some water out for Groucho the day he died - it was hot and I just assumed the canned food I gave him had enough moisture in it to hold him off, plus he'd always preferred drinking the dirtiest water in the area instead of the clean water I gave him, so again I just assumed I could put it out later. Everyday I tell him in my heart and pray that I didn't contribute to his death - but I'll never know. There are other things that have happened with some other pets that I can't even bring myself to think about, because then I start condemning myself, get depressed, and feel like I've just committed heinous crimes against animals I loved - well, I don't want to get in to that, cause it hurts too much to even touch on the subject. In short, please know that you're not alone in your feelings, and it's essential for your mental health and psyche to forgive yourself, because I have no doubt, knowing the manner of most pets, that your little one has already forgiven you. Pets just sometimes do things we don't expect, and you had no intention of hurting her. If you've read some of the other posts on this site you'll see that a lot of us blame ourselves in some way or another for our losses, whether or not we actually were responsible. It's a normal reaction, the guilt, and in some ways it's the hardest part of the loss to accept. Please know that where your pup is, and knowing the forgiving and unconditional love our furbabies give us, she's not blaming you.

You have my deepest sympathy on your loss. Please come back and let us know how you're doing. You'll find many, many people who can empathize with your pain. I myself have found so many words of wisdom and comfort here - I think you will, too. Take care - Barbara