Hi,

i joined today to add a link to the pet memorial section and started to browse, mostly because i think this forum will be a great help when the time comes and i lose a fubaby.

what i get worried about, is how i will handle it when i lose one of my furkids because even thinking about it breaks my heart, i remember i lost my eldest cat for two days and i cried the whole time, no-one understood of course except my husband, i guess because to most people she's just a cat.

so what i'd like to ask is, does it ever get easier when you lose a pet? because if i even think about it it upsets me....i can't imagine ever getting over losing a pet and if i get so upset about bonnie going missing for two days how will it be when i actually do lose her?


thanks


felicity

I think I may be able to answer your question. About a year ago, my door opened through the middle of the night because of strong winds and Meiko got out. I posted flyers, called the SPCA and the local vets, put an add in the paper hoping that I would get him back. I thought I was going to lose my mind, I cried nonstop and searched for him day and night for a week. Finally, about 8 days later someone called from one of my flyers saying that they caught him and were going to hold on to him for me. I was so relieved that he was found and brought him home immediately.
May 13th I lost him forever. The pain is so much worse because I have no hope of him coming back home. At least when he was missing, I had hope that we would find him and he would be okay. When I lost him, I thought it would be better to know that he was alive instead of wondering if he was killed by a car or something, then to have him missing. I was so unbelievablely mistaken. The pain of losing him has been the worst pain that I have felt in my entire life. I have lost loved ones, such as my grandparents, and nothing has ever ripped my life to pieces like losing him. He was a constant in my life and when he died, apart of me died that I will never get back. There is a constant void in my life that no one can fill. I can say that it has changed my life forever. It has been almost two months and I still cry all of the time. The pain does ease a little as time goes by but not because I am getting over it. I have had to teach myself to live my life without him, that has been incredibly hard. I still think about him everyday. I can still feel his fur and hear him coo. Sometimes I will actually call my cat that I still have Meiko because in the back of my mind he isn't gone.
I hope that this helps you a little bit. I would give just about anything to have just one more day with him, to hold him and tell him how much I love him. Treasure every moment that you have with your pet because he or she will eventually go to the Rainbow Bridge and no matter how many tears you cry or how angry you are, nothing brings them back. I honestly never knew what pain was until I lost Meiko. The days seem to be getting a little easier but I do not think anyone can truely prepare themselves for the loss of someone they dearly love.

When my son lost his hamster and I watched him grieve, it would bring tears to my eyes because I couldn't even imagine losing my 18-year-old cat Heidi. Well, it happened - when you love something so much you have to acept that reality that one day that soul will be gone, and I had the hardest time accepting that. I have a strong belief that part of Heidi is still here, for some reason, and it helped immensely to adopt another cat, (and after that 3 more, but that's another story). I lost another cat in December, and again a week ago yesterday. You can't prepare - just know it will hurt and let yourself feel that pain. I think of it as a wave - it crashes down on you, but it has to recede somewhat, and if not, there are people out there who will help to pull you through. I can't even begin to imagine losing anymore pets, but one day it will happen, and it will break my heart. One of my cats, at her young age of 5, has a heart condition, and it will shorten her life - I can't even think about it.

I don't know about your belief system, but I strongly believe that my pets will be waiting for me when I'm gone, wherever I go (and I don't believe in hell, either). In a way, it makes it easier to face death, which I've done before - haven't we all?

Either way, it will hurt enough to make you think you're going crazy (and I was on anti-depressants when I lost my last cat). You are not. We all feel that way, and we all travel down that road. I've found immense comfort and wise words here on this forum - don't lose touch with us.We've been there, and we care - Take care - Barbara