For a long time, it was just my husband, Daisy and me. We were a little family of three with Daisy holding a very important position. It always made me sad to think that it was likely, given dog's lifespans, that she would be the first to leave our little group. I didn't really believe that it would ever happen. I thought that she would be with us forever. I know she did not want to leave, but when God calls ....

Anyway, shortly before her death, we adopted a beautiful little boy. He is a gentle baby and always smiled at Daisy. So, we are still three and people say that the baby should make up for the loss of Daisy. But, nothing can make up for Daisy. My joy in our baby, does not in any way lessen my grief for the passing of my dearest friend, my first child.

I look in his crib and I am so glad he is here. I look at the marble case containing her ashes and the pain is as great as the day she passed.

How does one deal with endless grief, a loss that is unbearable?


Daisy's Mommy

I think it helps to remember that this is just how life is. Everyone and everything and every pet dies one day. It's just something that has to be accepted, no matter how much we don't like it. To me, life is about 90 percent problems, heartache, work, no fun, etc and about 10 percent good, fun, pleasure. Life is also about change and saying "Hi" and "Bye" to things and pets and people. Everything changes and nothing stays the same. It's just the way it is and always was and always will be--for everyone and everything.

In time, if you process your grief (rather than deny or suppress it), the unbearable eventually become bearable, and the loss of your pet becomes one more transition in life - as BooBoo's Mom says. I lost my 20-year old cat Pavlov in March '05 and my 13-14 year old cat Ginger in February '06. The loss of two cats in 14 months felt unbearable at times. Nothing will ever replace the love that I felt for my cats. In my case, I dealt with the grief through crying, using this website, talking with a counselor, and doing activities that nurtured me spiritually (spending time in nature with wildlife). I am starting to realize that the loss of my cats represent a major transition in my life. Pavlov lived with me from 1986-2005 and Ginger from 1994-2006. They are gone now, and I will never have those years back. During my cats' lifespans, I passed from being a young woman to entering middle age. The seasons of life moved on - my cats passed to the Rainbow Bridge and I grew older. I have loved and I have lost. I have life's scars and battle wounds and do my best to make it from one life transition to the next. I will be forever grateful for the love that I shared with my cats, and for the support that they gave me for so many years. They were truly my guardian angels in feline form.

I hope that something I have shared provides some comfort to you.

Take care,

Sandy