My cat, Ubi, died this morning...she seemed just fine three days ago..then i took her to the vet because she had trouble keeping down food. The taxi ride to the vet will forever be in my memory. Ubi sitting up in the box looking out the window and putting her face in my hands...
When I got to the vet...the doctor said she has been poisoned by something and her liver has been damaged.
Poisoned? I couldn't believe it....
I decided to leave her in the clinic to start treatment for her liver...I left her there for two days...and everyday i went back I could tell that she was getting weaker and weaker.
She hasn't eaten and has developed Fatty Liver Disease...seeing that staying at the clinic wasn't doing her any good I decided to take her home with me where she would be more comfortable and will be comforted with my presence...
I didn't want to give up on her...I didn't want to euthanize her...I have another cat who was diagnosed with Fatty Liver Disease before because of a broken tooth that stopped him from eating. And with force feeding and round the clock care he came around and survived. So, I believed that Ubi would be able to survive if I cared for her in the same way.
For 48 hours, I did everything to make sure she got her medication and that she was warm and comfortable....but at 4am she started having seizures....then difficulty breathing...and finally gave her last breath....
I was so devastated I held her in my arms as she died....calling out to her and saying "I love you" over and over again
After she passed...I cleaned her up....wiped clean her face.....took off her bandages....and just held her until the sun rose....
I couldn't let her go....I held her and cried myself to sleep....
it was hours later before I could bring myself to start making arrangements...
It was so hard to say goodbye.....
I couldn't even wrap her up to bring her to the clinic to be cremated
It hurt so much just to see her...but hurt even more not to see her...
She has been everything to me......
It's especially hard for me now because im a student studying abroad and all my friends also foreign students have gone back to their respective countries for their summer vacation and im left alone to grieve without a shoulder to cry on...or a comforting hug...

It's so hard walking around my apartment...seeing all the places where she used to love to lie around and play...
her bowls in the kitchen...
her favorite seat on the sofa....
all empty....

i miss her terribly....and i havent stopped crying since this morning...
i dont know what to do....

I'm so sorry about Ubi. Your story is heartbreaking. We all hare can certainly relate to your pain. My little guy was the best friend that I have ever had. I work at home and we were together for probably 20 hours a day on average. The hole in my life is big enough to drive a truck through. The only thing that I can say is that the bouts of extreme despair seem to come a little less frequently now than they did in the beginning. Time does help a bit. I also understand the long held to practices that people have developed to memorialize those that have passed on. My advice would be for you to do something special to remember her forever. It has helped me somewhat.

I hope things ease for you.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your kitty, Ubi. I know exactly what you're going through. Last May I lost my sweet, beloved kitty, Hobbie, to fatty liver disease. I did everything I possibly could to help her...I even had my vet put in a feeding tube, but it was too late and Hobbie was too sick.

Try to focus on the fact that you were with Ubi when she passed away. I know that must have been very comforting to her. You gave her a wonderful life and you were with her till the very end.

Hugs,
Kathleen

thank you sidney's buddy and kathleen....
this is my first time ever to experience someone that i love passing away..
it is so very hard...
i cant really sleep...i pass out for about an hour then i wake up again sobbing...
its hard looking through the pictures i have of her....
hard to realize that i will never get to hold her again...

i've never felt this kind of grief before...
it's overwhelming...

I know how you feel. I regret that I didn't hold Daisy one last time and tell her goodbye, but I couldn't even stand to look at her because of the blood on her little ear. I just couldn't bear to see what had happened to her. I did have to pull her out of the road because I was afraid someone else would hit her. It was so painful. I hope that wasn't too much information. I just wanted you to know that you are lucky that you got to spend your final moments together. It does get better with time, but you can't rush it. Give it time. My prayers are with you.

today i was able to bring Ubi's ashes home...
The fact that a part of her is now with me again gives me some comfort
I've been talking to her ashes as if it's her....i donno...feels stupid but i just feel like i have to talk to her again...tell her things...about how i feel...

Even though i know she's gone....i cant help but to look for her in all her favorite places...everything reminds me of her...

i'm having a little problem.....im an atheist....but i so badly want to believe in a soul so that i can see her again some day....
is there any one on here that doesnt necessarily believe in a god but believe that after we die it wouldn't just be the end?

Another thought that is eating me up inside is that...what if Ubi is somehow angry at me for letting this happen to her...that i let her die....

When my little guy was really sick I gave him 100 straight kisses on his temple. He loved being kissed on his temple but I'd never given him anywhere near 100 straight kisses. I remember thinking to myself that one day I'd want some of those kisses. Boy would I love to have one or two of those today.

As long as you are alive a little of Ubi will be with you. She changed you, so her legacy continues. I, for one, will try as hard as possible to live up to the legacy that Sidney deserves. I will try to be the great person that he thought I was.

Now I cry and my life seems bleak but later I will laugh and remeber all of the good times and so will you.

I am so sorry for the loss of Ubi, losing a furkid is so difficult, and having to be the one to make the decision to bring your friend in is even worse. My husband and I just had our beloved Arlo euthanized 5 days ago. I know what it is like, the emptiness and lonliness. I keep expecting to see him come running down the hall, or sleeping on the chair in the office, or curled up in a drawer. God help me, I even bury my head in his favourite blanket, hoping to smell him. It was only 2 days ago I was able to bring myself to throw out what was left in his food bowl, and empty the litter.

Please don't deny yourself the grief you are feeling; it is only natural. My husband is the type of person who tries to keep his emotions in check, and even he allowed himself to cry. He held Arlo in his arms on our way to the vet; it was heartbreaking because Arlo looked so alert and interested in what was going on. We both stayed with him, petting him and kissing him and telling him we loved him.

My husband just phoned to let me know that his ashes are now at the vets office, waiting for us to pick him up. I am so glad we went with cremation rather than burying him.

Arlo was less than 3 years old, and he owned us for only a year and a half; it was like we had been together since day one. I have come back to this site day after day, reading everyone's stories, and crying with each one.

I will be picking out at least one picture (from literally thousands, thanks goodness for digital cameras!), framing it, and putting it with his ashes.

Be kind to yourself, and take care. The pain dulls, but doesn't go away completely. Arlo was our first cat, together, and will always be with us. He is watching over us, and you can bet that Ubi is watching over you as well.