This is a bit off topic, but I didn't know where else to post it, and I could use a bit of advice/ support.

I put my dog Sadie to sleep about 7 weeks ago. At the time I honestly didn't know that I'd ever get another dog. Long story short, I adopted a rescue dog this afternoon. She's 3-5 years old and spent her entire life living in a house (by which I mean she didn't set a paw outside that entire time) with over 30 other dogs. I thought I would feel better having a dog that I could help, and I knew that I was adopting a dog who would be a challenge (we're talking no previous housebreaking training at all to work with, and a fear of outside), but I wanted to take in a dog who needed a home--Sadie herself came from a shelter and it just felt like the right thing to do.

But now... there's a strange dog in my kitchen, who has no house manners at all (she's already tried to jump from a kitchen chair onto the counter), and she's growled at my poor cat, who I thought would be happy to have a new companion-- she loved Sadie and has been missing her-- but instead looks terrified, and she was already a skittish cat.

I know that there's always an adjustment period (and I certainly didn't think that I'd bring her home and by tonight we'd all be sitting on the couch together, one happy and trained family), but I'm terrified that even though I thought this was what I wanted to do, and that I was ready, that maybe I made a huge mistake. Maybe my initial impulse about not knowing that I ever wanted another dog was the right one, and the recent feeling that it would help to help another dog was wrong. There's also the thought that maybe Sadie is upset that I brought in another dog, and did it so quickly after she died. This wasn't something I ever saw happening (adopting again and so quickly-- just a few weeks ago I was saying that I wasn't ready), but I did think about this-- I accidentally stumbled on her, and couldn't put her out of my mind, and spent a couple of weeks thinking about whether I really wanted to adopt her, how hard it would be to train her, how soon it was after Sadie's death, etc., and I honestly thought that it was the right choice.

Iwant this to work, but suddenly I'm panicking.

The best things in life are often things that we have to work at. As for Sadie, I do not believe that our animals are upset when we bring another animal into our lives. They are probably happy to see that we loved them enough to offer love to another; that means that they gave us enough love and joy (and vice versa) that we are willing to do it again, even though we might still be hurting.

Give the new dog a bit of time. She is in a new situation and this is still very recent for both of you. I think animals hate change more than we do. Be kind to both of you.

Hi,

I agree with Deedee that Sadie is probably very happy that you adopted someone else in her honor---someone to help.

You are awesome to want to help another dog. And only you and the cat will eventually know, and be able to decide, whether things will work out. But I'll send prayers your way that things do. By the way, what is the new dog's name?

All the best,

Kathy

Thank you deedee and Kathy.

The new dog is named Zillia, which I've already learned I'll be spelling every time I say it to someone for the first time (the poor people at the vets' office were already flustered by the cat's name-- Sappho) . I'll post a picture of her in the new beginnings section.

I know that this probably sounds stupid, but 1) bringing in a new dog really brought home that Sadie isn't coming back, and 2) made all these thoughts go through my head about whether it's disrespectful to her to adopt again so quickly. I got her when she was 5-6 yrs. old (so said the shelter; I think she may have been even older), so at best only had her for half of her life. Maybe wherever she is she's with whoever had her before me. I don't know how she got to the shelter-- maybe she truly loved her previous human(s). It would kill me if she decided she prefered someone else. But here I am with another dog, and I know that I'm not replacing her, and can't replace her, and that if there was any way I could have her back she's who I'd want... but it's like I decided to cut the mourning period short and move right on along (even though I know there is no set mourning time, and I also know that I'm far from moving 'right on along'). And I know that there are going to be issues when Zillia is allowed out of the kitchen-- where she's living until we get the housebreaking issue dealt with-- and wants the toys of Sadie's that I kept, or to be on the couch, which was Sadie's kingdom-- silly me to think that I owned my furniture. I want Zillia to be happy and have a good home, but I don't want to do anything to lose remembering what it was like to have Sadie. I miss her so much.

Thanks for listening.

Megan