I just can't stop thinking of the tragic way that Rusty was killed. I can't talk to my husband about this (he was driving the truck that hit Rusty), but I just can't stop replaying it over and over in my mind. Rusty had been known to crawl up into my husband's truck (engine) and get stuck there, we would have to lift open the hood and let him out. I was obsessive about making sure the truck was never started without knowing where he was (except for last Sunday morning). If it were not bad enough that my husband ran him over with the back tire of his truck (he had no idea where he came from...that is why my mind won't let go of this), I keep imagining that he was scared and trapped in the truck for an hour while my husband ran errands and when he was yards from home, he fell out and was run over. I feel like I failed him! I feel like a horrible pet owner for not making sure that he was in the house before my huband left. I ache for the pain that he must have gone through. He found me and I feel like I failed him...

Rusty knew you would in no way jepordize his safety - this was a horrible, sad, and tragic accident, and it was NOT your fault.
It wasn't anyone's fault at all.
I know how much pain you must be in right now - but the what ifs will not bring Rusty back, and they will cause you unnecessary pain. He wouldn't want you to beat yourself up like that. You gave him love and a wonderful home for the time you had him, and he knows that. Forgive yourself - you must - and remember the good times Rusty had because he found you.
Your friends,
brandy and soshi.

This is what we do when we are grieving, we feel that we have failed because someone we love has left and it brings home the reality that there is nothing we can do about it.

Our brain goes over every minute detail to pick fault and criticize, be honest when was the last time you complemented yourself, we just don’t do that.

You have to find a way to forgive yourself, I know you didn’t do anything wrong and if we were talking about someone else you would know that too but when we are talking about ourselves that old ego thing loves to loom its ugly head and push us down even further.

Be kind to yourself.

Love Sue

I am so sorry for your loss and what you have been going thru and continue to go thru. I have had a similar experience this past week. I was always very careful to be sure Suzie was safe, my husband and I watched her every move. On Tuesday we took our eyes off her for 5 minutes and she fell in the pool and drown. I wont even go into the horror of trying to revive her. I let her down, she trusted me and I was not there for her. I know that it was an accident and things happen, I am also having a very, very hard time living with what has happened. I can tell you that you did nothing wrong, and I believe it completely, I cannot do the same for myself.
You are in my thoughts and I hope things get easier for you in time.
April

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to your baby. I know exactly how you feel. I won't retell my story because it's posted already. But I also have a tremendous amount of guilt for not saving my baby Gizmo. I can't eat, sleep, and especially can't get the horrible image of what happened out of my head. It's amazing how our furry friends become like our children in such a short time. Only an animal lover would understand. I hope that if you need to talk, you know you can reach out. I share your sorrow 100%.