We had to unexpectedly put our 10 yr. old shar pei/ lab dog, Montana, to sleep on Christmas Eve Day. To make matters worse, that was also my son's 6th birthday. Montana had oral cancer, a large tumor in his throat, but we had been taking him for radiation treatments and were so hoping to shrink the tumor so he could live a little longer and fuller life. He had stopped eating a few days ago, but would still eat from my hand. (A vet had told me pets sometimes live for their owners, and I can see now how true that is, although I didn't see it for what it was at the time.) Anyway, Montana collasped ten minutes before my son's birthday party was to begin. He was still alert, but couldn't seem to get up, and had some blood coming from his mouth. I tried calling all the vets in town, but no one was answering, due to the holidays I'm sure. Finally we reached one an hour away, and asked to bring Montana in to be put to sleep. My husband offered to bring him, thank God, and we just tried to downplay things so that my son wouldn't have a terrible birthday. Christmas festivities followed, and I am just fully absorbing now what truly happened.

It was a terrible day for him to die, and so stressful. However, I do feel blessed that Montana made it so clear to me that he needed to go. I was worried about how I would make that final decision for him, and how I would endure the agonizing final hours before I brought him to the vet that last time. At least having him go this way eliminated all of that. It was also a blessing that the commotion of the festivites kept my children from noticing what was happening. In fact, they still think Montana is at the vet because he is sick. I didn't want to ruin their Christmas. I will tell them tomorrow. Does anyone have suggestions for me? They are six and seven. It will be hard for me to tell them without breaking down, but I know I need to be strong for them. They have never known life without him.

We still have another dog, Mozart, who is Montana's brother and also ten. He is very lonely right now. I would also appreciate any suggestions that anyone has how I can keep him from being miserable, especially during the day when everyone is gone all the time and he will be alone.

Good bye Montana. You were a good dog, and I love you. You will be missed.

I am so sorry you had to have this happen on what should have been a happy day. Montana was indeed lucky to have had you all as his family for the past 10 years. Also, Montana made that last final decision for you, so you can be certain that you did everything right. I grieve for you and your family. Perhaps in the future (You will know when the time is right), you will be able to get another furbaby to keep Mozart company. Sometimes new puppies can help to keep the older dogs "young" and happy. You will have your hands full trying to comfort your little ones. I suppose the only advice I have for you is to be truthful. I know we want to remain strong and protect our children from ever having to experience sadness, but death indeed is a part of life, even though it is a part that is extremely difficult for even adults to understand. I will pray for you to have the strength to get through the next few days, and also to have that empty hole in you heart healed. Blessings to all... .

I'm sorry for the loss of your dear Montana. I can't imagine going through that on Christmas Eve and having to put on a happy face for everyone when you are hurting inside. There is a good book for children called "For Every Dog An Angel" that might be comforting to them.

I'm worried about Mozart, too. Maybe it is hardest on him loosing his dear brother. Poor guy. Even though us humans may need time to grieve before thinking about adopting another fur-baby, it seems to me that an animal who is grieving might find comfort in getting a kindred spirit (don't get a puppy that steals all the attention, though). It's heartbreaking seeing an animal grieving.

I hope you are finding some peace this new year to comfort you after missing your Montana. He will be missed.

Dear k,

Very sorry for your loss of Montana. Being new to grief myself, I'm somewhat at a loss for things to say; but wanted to share some thoughts with you.

The decision to give a loved & beautiful pet euthanasia is one of the toughest ones we can make. A friend made it easier for me when she explained it was the last great service we could do for a pet - a gift, to end their suffering. Odd as it seems it is in our ability to do this for our pets and take away the pain they have been enduring, as you said, seemingly for our sake because we don't want them to leave us.

As for the timing, it seems ironic; but it was also a time the family was together: giving & sharing, celebrating. Maybe that's when Montana wanted a peaceful exit, maybe there is something spiritually significant (only you would know). As for telling your children, which I assume you have by now, I think they may be more perceptive than you realize. Kids seem to sense the truth so it would be good to discuss it openly and let them mourn & celebrate Montana's life in their own ways.

May you be blessed with strength,
Tre