I am shocked and grieving, in so much pain. I took my six month old kitten in today to get neutuered. He had been diagnosed with a heart murmer. When I went in, the vet said it would be OK. They were doing a special surgery that used less anestic and was supposed to be safer. I got the call at 10:00. Nemo had two heart attacks and died. I feel so like this is my fault, because the anesthia killed him. How do I deal with this? How do I accept this? If I hadn't got him neutuered him might still be alive... please help.

I'm so sorry. I think all that has really gotten me through loosing my dog- is the thought that that was just his plan. I have to find meaning in all of what happened, but as my husband said- perhaps Leon was sent to us and all we had was those 7 years with him to love him and be loved by him. I think I condensed all my love for him into the 7 years we had with him. I know this might not give you too much comfort, but maybe your kitten just had 6 months from the start. No doubt, you gave your kitten all the love condensed into those 6 months. I'm still working through so much myself, but I hope you can find some peace.

I am so sorry.. Stay here, you'll find that so many people here are very helpful.

-Rebecca

Dear Nemo's Mom,
You shouldnt feel guilty over Nemo's death. Like Rebecca said, perhaps it was simply his time. I know that its easier to blame yourself over something like this, but its something that you shouldn't do. Dwelling upon the "what ifs" will simply eat you alive. Belive me I know. By bringing him to the vet, you were being a responsible parent. Try and remember him with loving and happy thoughts in your heart. Take each day at a time and cope as best you can. It will get easier.

Take Care,
Cynthia

Dear (((((Nemo's Mommy))))):

I am so sorry to hear about Nemo ...

I believe that Rebecca & Cynthia are correct in that lil' Nemo was meant to be here on earth for 6 months. That was his plan. I sincerely feel your pain, and I know that it hurts something awful .... It is heartbreaking...

But, I know for that 6 months, you showered that lil' guy with love, hugs & kisses & treats, and in return I know that you received so much love & acceptance & joy, etc..... (so much more......)

I believe that on the day I was born, it is already known by God when I will be going back to Heaven for eternity; and, I will surely go by Rainbow's Bridge and my sweet Ernie-Bird and I (and all of my other furkids) will be together again.

It's just something that I've always believed in. Some people tell me "I don't believe that", (and, that's their prerogative), but it is what I believe and I wanted to share it with you.

You did what almost all furbaby owners do, and that is to neuter or spay your child.
That's being a responsible owner.

Please stay here with us......You will receive so much love & support from everyone here.
This is where I stayed for a long, long time - and, it is comforting to be "around" friends who really understand the sadness & any emotions that you are feeling.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.....

Love, Denise

Dear Nemo's Mommy,

I am so sorry that you have lost your Nemo.
Time is all relative. Would you loved him any less had you known that 6 months was all you were going to get with him? No, you would have loved him the same!

Everything in this world is meant to teach us something. Nemo's passing is no different. Your heart may have broken, but it will heal except for a tiny crack that will always be there. Lossing my Seth taught me that every moment, every memory, is special and to never take it for granted. Your 6 months was special. And even with all the heart break, those 6 months are something you would never give back!

Don't be mad at yourself, you were being responsible!
You took every precaution that you could.

Both our little boys are in Rainbow Bridge right now. Play as hard as they can, with strong hearts that beat properly!

"Sometimes you can do everything right and it still doesn't work in the end."
My vet told me these words when Seth first got sick and i was angry because i had bought the best cat food, i had kept him in the house, i exercised him regularly, i always took him to his check-ups. Him getting sick at only 4 1/2 years old was not fair, i had done everything right! Why him, why now? Heart failure in a 4 1/2 year old healthy cat? What could i have done differently? How could i have prevented this from happening? Our vet's are amazing! They gave us an extra 71 days with Seth and they phoned every day for updates if i didn't phone them first. They cried when we cried and cheered with us when we had tiny victories. But those words, spoken to me when i felt the way you are feeling now, still come back to me!

You did everything right! You didn't fail Nemo! You loved him and cared for him! What more could anyone ask for?

Late at night when you are sleeping, he will be watching over you! Just remember to tell him you love him in your dreams!

Amber

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. My eyes are so sore from crying today, I can't seem to stop. I just cry all the time. There are so many unanswered questions. Everyone tells me not to blame myself, but it is hard not to. I have so many "what if?" questions. It's hard not to feel it is my fault.

When the vet called me to tell me Nemo passed away, they told me he had a heart murmur of 3. When I talked to my breeder last night, she said they should have never operated on him with a heart murmur of 3. That just disturbs me so much. She said that they should have told me to wait till he was an adult to get him neutured. So I feel like if I had been more informed this was something I could have prevented, but I will never know. The guilt is consuming me. I don't know if he had cardiomyopathy, or if he was getting worse with his heart murmur and was going to die anyways. I'll never have those answers, and I am not sure how to move past his death without those answers. It's just tearing me up that I could have waited until he was an adult and maybe? he could have been OK. But I will never know.

How unfortunate for his life to be cut so short...... his toys are everywhere. I slept with his blanket last night, and that gave me some comfort, but I am back to being miserable again.

I am so sorry to hear about Nemo. It is very hard to accept the death of a pet especially when they are so young. May I ask what kind of cat your special kitty was? I lost one of my abyssinians at a young age to anesthetic. I had taken him to the vet for a teeth cleaning. I found out later that my breed of cat was very sensitive to ketamine. I was heartbroken. I think that my cat had a kidney problem that didn't come forward till it was to late.

Don't blame yourself for Nemos death. You were being a responsible mom by taking him to the vet to be neutered. It was a underlying illness that came out during surgery.

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of Nemo. Whether we have our best friends for 7 months or 7 years, the end is nothing but difficult. I must echo the words of the posters above: You were just being a responsible parent. When my Sheltie Bailey passed all too soon at the age of ten, a very wise person told me, " I know you wanted her longer, but 'she had other plans.'" As people, we always try to find a reason for everything. Some things just happen. I know your grief is unbearable right now, but it will get better. Please come back here and tell us some cute and funny characteristics of Nemo when you feel like it. Posting on this board the night my Bailey died helped me keep my sanity...total strangers showing so much concern. Even as I am reading your post, I have tears in my eyes. Take care of yourself.

My kitty was a Sphynx. I am also so sorry to her about your abyssinian, I didn't realize death by anesthia was more common than I thought. I have been reading on the internet that some cats do have troubles with Ketamine, and I am wondering if that affected his death. I am mainly just looking for answers in a tragedy that leaves so many questions. I have other cats that are due for a teeth cleaning but I don't think I will ever be able to take the risk of having them put under again.

I realize his time on earth was so short, and it rips me apart, but like pamurchu said, he had other plans. I am thankful for the time I did get to spend with him, and I will cherish it. It is missing his little cute face that I will miss so much.

I brought one of his little toys to work today and I have had it in pocket all day, just so I would have a part of him next to me. I wish I could tell him just how deeply he was loved, but maybe he knew it? I really hope he did.

I was very hesitant to take my cats to the vet for teeth cleanings, neutering etc, and was a basket case the next time one of them had to go under anesthetic. I did however learn from the whole experience that ISO(gas) is way less dangerous for our little felines. Ketamine seems to be the drug that really is hard on their kidneys,liver and their body functions. ISO is a little more expensive but I did notice when they came home from the vet they did not show signs of being so drugged up.

Nemo was a very special little guy, and he will always be with you in spirit. I believe these four legged creatures who enter our lives, are little angels with wings. I have learned so much about love from my cats than I could from alot of human beings. They have taught me what unconditional love is.

Peace be with you

Nemo's Mom,
You did absolutely nothing wrong. You were trying to be a responsible pet parent and the unthinkable happened. I pray that my PK, Fella, and Garfield will take special care of him at Rainbow Bridge for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers at this time of loss. My God bless you.
Steve

Thank you for your beautiful thoughts. I do hope is being well taken care of at Rainbow Bridge, and playing and being the happiest little kitty he can be. I am so thankful for the short time I did have with him, and he will never be forgotten. I think each animal that comes into our lives changes us for the better, helps us see the world in a more innocent and loving way. He certaintly did that for me.

Nemo's Mommy
~ in my heart forever~
~love is not bound by time or space~