Punky's Mommy
Nov 12 2005, 08:27 PM
I'm not sure where this kind of post should go.
A lot of people, like me, have felt that the experience of losing their pet was worse than losing a human family member. I don't say this to impune the sadness and trauma that comes with losing a human loved-one. But it makes me want to wonder why we are so attached and grieve so strongly, and I came up with some theories. I'm sorry to put this in a clinical light. I have a scientific background, and I'm using it here to try to understand my (our) grief.
1) Our pets become our adopted - often surrogate- children.
2) They have child-like faces and personalities, which triggers a nurturing side to us that lasts for the entire life of the pet.
3) The act of nurturing releases comforting chemicals such as serotonin into our systems.
4) It is inherently "unnatural" for our children to die before we do. It goes against our biology.
5) We no longer get that warm fuzzy serotonin feeling once our fur babies have passed.
6) Reasons 4 and 5 could be part of why some of us take it so hard.
Seems that the only comparison can be losing your own human child. I don't know.
JenniferLynn
Nov 12 2005, 09:07 PM
If I may add to your thoughtful post, I think, for me at least, it is because my dogs are "better than humans". Long before my Freddy passed, I called him my "Eyes of God." I feel animals, dogs especially, are very special and love in a way humans are often incapable of loving--unconditionally and constantly, no matter what you look like, what kind of mood you are in, or what you do to them. Who else really loves you like that? Your mother maybe? God? The love shared between a devoted pet owner (and I don't even like to use the word "owner" ...guardian, perhaps?) and an animal is a divine and ultimate kind of experience and provides unparalled joy and happiness, so when it the physical essence of the animal is gone, the loss is especially deep and the abyss of grief seemingly endless.
Inessence
Nov 12 2005, 09:24 PM
In addition to all of the nurturing (this goes both ways), is the intense lonliness we feel after they're gone. At home, our furbabies practically spend every waking (and often sleeping) moment with us, and oftentimes in the car, for a walk, on vacation, etc.
karen424
Nov 14 2005, 10:11 AM
They love us "unconditionally" - they don't judge us, they live to be with "us".....we are their life.
Humans are incapable of giving that kind of loyal love...
QorquisDad
Nov 14 2005, 01:10 PM
... and if we're paying attention, we can learn from these amazing creatures to become more selfless and loving ourselves.
Cathi
Nov 14 2005, 11:45 PM
Yes, It is so wonderful to have some "one" to care for and about and to share those precious glances and quiet or fun companionship. It's the little things that matter. Oprah once said she was grateful just to look into her dogs' eyes.
And when that someone (fur baby ) is gone, it creates such a huge emptyness. I miss my Tico so much and have never grieved for a human like this. I think you are absolutely right.
Cathi
samhaincat
Nov 17 2005, 10:03 PM
Yes to all you said and I have to add that I prefer animals to many people. The animals aren't out there destroying the world, the environment, and each other for greed. Our pets represent unconditional love. We love our human families also but how rare is it when that love is unconditional, pure and without judgement and criticism? Our furry families continually offer us that and in exchange we offer them our love, our nurturing and whatever security we can. I have always been an animal lover and protector, whether it's the birds in the backyard, the deer in the front, the bunnies in both places and of course my beloved pets. They are all loved.
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