Even though he was only 13 weeks,through the wonderful people on this board and the grieving process I have learned a few things that make me sad but validated about my devestation.

First Tim and everyone that agreed with him helped me to see that it was an "all at once" relationship. I fell in love with Stewart(still hard to say his name..) the first day I met him and everyday after that I fell more and more... He became more than just a puppy he was this little person to me. Never having pets as a child I was amazed at how smart they were and also how loving and loyal they become. I found it wonderful and couldn' wait for more. Which brings me to the next part of my grief.

Second as someone else on the board said my dreams I had of living a life with this wonderful puppy were cut short in the matter of 18 hours. I loved him as a puppy but was looking forward to everythin that lied ahead. Like him being ther when my daughter went to college (she is 10) and my son playing baseball with him in the back yard (he is 8). ALso my youngest son ( he is 4) growing up with him. I would never see him go from a playful pup to a "wise golden retriever".
That, along with the grief, makes me feel incredibly dissapointed... I pictured my children getting older with the puppy and my husband and I having more time to enjoy him as an adult.

Third and last I felt it so unfair that my precious puppy did not have the chance to live a long healthy life. Sitting beside his tiny body while they put him to sleep made me sad but now I somewhat feel angry. I feel as thouh both him and I were cut short of a life of love,loyalty and the feeling of true love between both him and I. There must be a stage of grief that involves anger..

Lasly I want to say I am so sorry to everyone on this board who has lost a beloved pet. I can imagine the pain it must be to lose the best friend that you spent years with as a confidant,best friend and love of your life. My deepest condolences. If this had never had happened to me I would never had totaly understood the tremendos grief that goe along with it.

Thank you for sharing all odf your stories. After i lost Stewart I started thinking that I never wanted another pet becaus of the terrible feeling of losing them. But reading all of the wonderful stories of the great times that were shared between you and your pets have made me realize that the joy that they bring into our lives leaves us with memories that last a lifetime.

I guess its like that old saying " it is better to have loved an lost then to never haved loved at all " again thank you for all your sad but wonderful stories of hope they have made a world of difference to me that I cannot express.

Melanie (Stewart's Mommy)

Dear Melanie,

I think your anger is a very normal stage of grief. Even though I had Shiloh a while longer than you had Stewart, I felt her life was cut short by the cancer she had (she was only 5 when she died). I went through a phase where I was very angery...I fought so hard to my Shiloh with me for a little bit longer, but nothing helped. It didn't seem fair, and I got very angry. I'm past that stage now, although sometimes I still ask why.

Hang in there.
Hugs,
Kathleen

Your story really touches me...

I can relate--my puppy Beasley was only 7 months old when he was killed by a pitbull this past Saturday. My husband and I are so sick w/ grief & overwhelming sadness because we loved him and love him still so deeply, and we feel so terrible that he didn't get to live a full life and grow old. He was just a little guy, only about 4 pounds--an adorable yorkie-maltese with big pointy ears and the most adorable little eyes. I can't even stand to think about his sweet face because I know I won't get to see him again.

The pain is overwhelming, & I definitely understand what you're going through. Losing our loves, no matter how it happens, is never easy, but I can't help but feel guilty that I couldn't stop the pitbull attack & my dear Beasley's life was cut very, very short because of it.

We love our puppy more than anything, and our hearts are breaking. Please stay strong and know that there are others out there who have suffered similar things in many the same ways. Your relationship with your puppy, no matter how short of time, was special and will definitely last forever. You are very lucky to have had the time with Stewart just as we're lucky to have had Beasley, though it will never feel like enough.

Take care & know that we are all thinking about you.
kel (beasley's mom)

Melanie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I too felt cheated that my Rush would not be there to see his sister off to college and lots of other things that I had looked forward too. I was blessed to have him the 10 years he spent with us, but I also had feelings of anger that I'm working through.
I read a book that proposed that we each choose our life's path before we come here to live it and later, after we die, we can see the "maps" if you will of all those we encounter and understand why they came into and out of our lives. Maybe your baby knew all along his time here would be brief, but chose to spend it with someone who could appreciate all that he had to give in such a short time. He was blessed to have your family to love him.
I hope that time helps to heal your pain.

Rushie's Mom