Hello Friends,

I took my cat Cosby to the vet this Tuesday because I thought he looked too skinny. I thought he would give me some advice on how to change his diet. Well, he gave me more info than I bargained for. He felt two masses inside his stomach. He did xrays and bloodwork to confirm. We decided to have an ultrasound on Thursday. They allowed me to come in the back and view the sonogram. There were two large black masses on the monitor. Cosby just sat there like a good boy while they rubbed the machine over his tummy. The vet said it's lymphoma and has attatched to the kidneys. I thought I was going to passout when they told me. Tears poured from my eyes. Cosby is 16 years old. My parents gave him to me when I was 8 years old, I am almost 25. We have been through thick and thin together. It's so hard to think about life without him. Today is Sunday and I have seen a rapid progression of the disease. His appetite was good up until today. I am hand feeding him baby food. He has been hiding in the closet for most of the day. He is getting weak. I just hate seeing him disintegrate each day. I feel totally helpless.

Nicole

Hi Nicole, I am so sorry about the illness if your sweet Cosby. I just hate to hear when someone has a sick baby. Yes it gives you a very helpless feeling to watch them decline. It all feels so hopeless when you do all you can and still you know there is nothing the vets can do.

Your baby has been with you almost all you life and I know the pain you must feel. The death of our babies just devastate and rock our world and we have to learn to live all over again. The pain is the worst I have every know. It feels like you can not live through it but the heart keeps beating. Somehow we learn to live without them beside us. Come and talk often about your precious baby.

My Snookie went through almost 11 months of illness. I knew my little girl was ready to go when she could not eat or drink, she wanted to be alone and her eyes told me it was time. Those beautiful eyes that I adored had a look in them I had never seen before. It was like her soul was speaking to mine and I just knew!

You just know.

We don’t quite know how but we just go into auto mode and help them out of their pain.

I helped Jude for months and even though her eyes were still bright I just knew that the time was right, she was in pain during the night and her back legs had gone.

I booked the appointment (they came to my home) for the next day, then changed my mind but the next day I knew that I had to go ahead with it.

Im sorry you have to go through this it is a hard time but you will come through it and we will help you.

Love Sue

Nicole,

I am sorry to hear about your sweet cosby. My best friend Bubba was 14 1/2 when he started spiraling down. When they stop eating and can no longer function it is time to think about letting them go. It is the hardest decision I have ever made in my life, but to watch him suffer so much was heartbreaking. You will know in your heart when the time is right. Your cosby had a long life with you, shared with lots of love. I know that when it is time for them to go, the amount of time they have spent with us is never enough. I still grieve for Bubba every day, but I know he isn't in pain anymore, and his spirit lives on.

My thoughts are with you.

Kim

Thank you all for your input and kind words. Today is the second day that I can't get Cosby to eat. He is driking lots of water. I took him outside in the backyard this morning. It's so refreshing to see him out there exploring and smelling the plants. I can't get him to eat food but he was nibbling on the grape leave plant. He even had the strenght to use the edge of a large stone as a scratching post. He was looking at the birds with curiousity. He even gets that look in his eye about my parrot like he wants to get his hands on her. Then he comes inside and retreats back to the inside of my closet. It just doesn't feel right yet to put him down. I am so drained, I am saving my tears for the big day.

Nicole

Dear Nicole,

I am so sorry you have to see your sweet Cosby like this, but I'm so glad he enjoyed his time outside with the birds and the plants. Cherish this time you have with him. I know it's not the same as it would be if he were well, but try to accept the last days as a precious gift from God. What I wouldn't give to have had a few days left with Allie after she got sick. But she was gone by the next morning.

Let Cosby know how much you love him. I think that's what many of us here would have done if we'd had more time with our babies. Again I am so sorry Cosby is not well. I am praying for you both.

((Hugs))
Jenny

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry. When the time comes you will know it and begin the same journey we all have taken. Actually your journey has already began. I lost my Moose suddenly 24 hours. My main kitty girl "Summer" she was 16 when I had to make the decision. One day I woke up and went into auto piolt and let her go. I couldn't think about when...I just knew that morning when I woke up.
You need to know that we understand here and this is a good place to write your emotions down. A good place to let the agony of it pour from your fingertips. Again Nicole, I am sorry about your baby being sick. Pamela

dearest nicole and cosby,
i'm sending you strength and peace right now as you take this journey. i know how incredibly sad it is. i helped my 16 year old cat Jupiter 2 months ago today. Please know that your love will carry you along, in ways that you may not be able to see right now. as everyone has said, you will "know" when the time is right to help your beloved cosby step out of suffering, and i would add that the "knowing" has a large range in that there are many variables. you can trust your heart, and your vet, and your dear cat's spirit to help you.
I've been reading about animals being very undisturbed by euthanasia, in fact "they" say that it's the one thing they wish we knew more about and accepted.
am sending my love to you...

Nicole,
I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my Friskie on July 5, 2004. He had been sick for a little while and I knew the end was coming but not when. About 1 week before he died he stopped coming out to greet me when I came home, he didn't bug me for milk and didn't eat much. Then he started sleeping a lot. I knew the time had come when he couldn't move his back legs anymore. Friskie was so happy in life that he fought until the end. Since my daughter and daughter in law work for my vet I was able to have them come to my house and give Friskie the injection. I really didn't want him to die anywhere but at home where he lived his whole life.

Even when you know it's coming it's still hard. I am happy that he's not sick anymore and I know he's chasing butterflies and waiting for me to join him.

Give Cosby as much love as you can and make his last days as happy and comfortable as possible.

Hugs,
Dawn

Dear Nicole,

I almost didn't see your post. Now you know what I am talking about and all the wonderful people here who will help you. I only wish I had known about this place before I had to say goodbye to Ayla. I am not very good with words, that is why I wanted you to come here. It takes all my strength to write sometimes and make sure I am saying the right thing.

Please continue writing me as it also gives me comfort.

Love and hugs to you and Cosby

Kimi