My sweet baby Gandalf has been missing from home since late on March 28th. I've walked the neighborhood calling him, I made flyers and put them in my neighbor's mailboxes, I put flyers up around the neighborhood, I gave flyers to the local vets, I ran an ad in the newspaper and I check the local shelters daily. No Gandalf...... I'm absolutely heartbroken.

Friskie my cat of 16 years died last July. He was sick but he fought for life until the last minute. Friskie's death was hard on me but I was comforted in knowing that he'd had a good long life. In August I adopted three kittens, Gandalf, Max and Sabrina. Right from the start Gandalf captured my heart. He was friendly when the other two were really standoffish. He brought me joy and I love him so much. Gandalf was last seen sleeping on a blanket under the table when I went to bed on March 28th.

I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. He wasn’t even a year old yet and had a great life ahead of him. I tried to keep them inside but we have a black lab and a doggie door and the kittens figured out how to use it. I've looked for him everywhere I can think. Logic tells me that he's not coming home but I just can’t give up hope. Somehow I feel like if I give up hope he’ll never come home. I can’t stop thinking about him and I’m in tears whenever I do. Not knowing whether Gandalf is alive and well, alive and suffering or dead is just killing me. It’s been 3 weeks and it still hurts just as much as that first morning he didn’t come for treats. Is there still a chance for him?

Heartbroken,
FurBabyMom

Dear FurBabyMom,

I'm so sorry that your sweet Gandalf is missing and I'm sure you're doing everything you possibly can do to find him.

Before you give up hope and think that something terrible has happened to him, could it be that someone saw just exactly what you saw in him and is unaware that he has a family and has him?? I know that doesn't help you in any way since, of course YOU WANT HIM BACK, but that's a very real possibility... that someone fell head over heels in love with him and is caring for him right now. I really do know how much you're hurting.

Keep the faith and don't stop asking/looking around. Hopefully, you'll find him.

Hugs,

Pat

Dear Furbabymom,

I am so sorry to learn your beloved Gandalf is missing. However, don't give up hope.
Cats travel in a clockwise direction. If Gandalf has never been outside before, chances are he's close by and hiding in places he feels safe.

I have a few questions:

Was he wearing a collar? Was he microchipped?

Is he neutered?

Have you placed an article of clothing or something with your strong scent on it on your porch or other place close to your doors? Cats respond to strong scents.

I know it's hard, but try to keep some dry food somewhere where he can access it at night. Cats are nocturnal. Your best time to coax him out of hiding would be after dark. Keep an eye out for neighbors with new cats. Perhaps someone took a liking to him and just doesn't equate your signs/posters with a missing cat (yes, people are often oblivious to signs).

Check your local shelters, rescue groups, and pounds every other day. You never know if someone may have found him, couldn't keep him, but didn't want to just abandon him and took him to a shelter. Check dumpsters at local restaurants at night. Check with personnel to see if they've noticed a cat fitting his description. Post his vital information on Lost/Found websites.

Losing a pet this way is like living hell. Your stomach never stops churning and the thoughts that race through your head cause you so much stress. I know this sounds off the wall, but hold a picture of Gandalf in your mind--safe and wanting to come home. Speak to him silently in your mind and tell him it's okay; that he can find his way back to you. Ask him to meow to you when you are out looking for him.

Dear, finding a lost cat is extremely stressful and difficult. If you make a commitment to continue looing for him for a minimum of three months, you increase your chances of accidently finding him yourself. If you throw up your hands and give up after just a month, that's letting him and you down.

Be diligently and be strong! It tears you apart, there's no mistaking that, but our thoughts are incredibly powerful. Think of our world and all that we've created. Every thing was once a thought. Let your thoughts be powerful, reasurring little messages to him. Hold onto the thought that Gandalf is alright, that you will find him and he will be so glad to be home again!

Please! When you get him back, let us know so we can celebrate your joy.

With great hope and love for his return,

--Susan
~ a voice for the voiceless ~

My in-laws have a cat who was gone for a whole month and then showed up one day, skin and bones, but alive, on their driveway. He wouldn't go near the door for ages afterwards. He doesn't have his claws so they were worried he wouldn't be able to survive. But he did! So keep the faith. Keep us posted. I really hope you find him.

((Hugs))
Jenny

First off.... Thanks for the quick responses. It's nice to feel understood. My Husband is trying to be understanding but I know he really doesn't get it. I try not to let my pain show too often because I don't want to make him feel bad or helpless.

Answers to Ladypurr (Susan):

No collar. (I'm still kicking myself for that)

Yes microchip and I sent in the registration and money when I first got him. I called them the day he went missing to notify them.

Yes Gandalf was neutered. I adopted him from the local SPCA. I only adopt shelter animals.

I hadn't even thought of putting out my scent. I'm going to try that when I get home.

There is food available he just needs to come back in through the doggie door. My instincts to protect the remaining two kitties by locking them in at night are conflicted because if I lock the doggie door then Gandalf can't get back inside.

I do check the local shelters and their websites. My daughter and daughter in law both work for a local vet who takes care of the shelter animals so they are looking also. I have posted Gandalf's information on as many local sites as I could find.

As for your off the wall suggestion.... I don't find it off the wall at all. I've been talking to him and imagining him alive since that first morning he wasn't there. It's been just over 3 weeks since I've given him loves and I just can't see him dead. Something inside me just can't let go of the hope he is still trying to come home.

I needed someone to tell me not to give up hope. Thank you Pat, Susan and Jenny!

Hugs,
Dawn
(FurBabyMom)

Are there any large dogs in your area? Are there any dogs in a fenced yard? My neighbor's cat went missing and was found up a tree in another neighbor's fenced yard, trying to get away from his dogs.

Look for areas with a lot of trees, he may have run up a tree and gotten scared to come back down.

I am so sorry your little Gandalf is missing and I hope you will find him. Everyone has given such wonderful advice. The only thing I might add is sometimes people will take them into their homes and keep them. I know my daughter took in around 6 stray cats over the past 7 years. I would tell her they might be someone's beloved babies but she said she could not leave them out in the cold. We did check the ads and also looked for any signs but never found the owners so she kept them.

Also her own kitty went missing for almost a month. We searched everywhere. Placed ads and that sort of thing. We looked under all the bushes and even went into other people's garages that were open. We checked the fields, looked up in all the trees and knocked on door for 4 blocks away.

My daughter had given up hope on him and I told her we would find him. Suddenly one day there he was on her front porch. He would not come into the house for a long time. I think the idea of putting food outside your home would be good. What if he was to afraid to come inside like my daughers baby was. Good luck I do hope he will come home.
Ann

Dear furbabymom,

I am praying at this minute for the safe return of your sweet Gandalf. I feel in my heart he will come back to you. If not, please come to us for support.

hugs, kimi

I am also sad to hear that your little Gandalf is missing.

My sister-in-law has a cat that wanders off for 3-4 weeks at a time but he usually comes home eventually. One time he was gone for almost 2 months and turned up 50km away at my mother-in-law's door one morning. They went outside to call in their cat and Salem just wandered in behind her. He had established hunting territory around their house from the times that he stayed with them when my s-i-l was away and we assume that he just wanted to have a visit.

Did the kittens you adopted come from a home nearby? If they ever let him outside and they live fairly close maybe he's gone back for a visit...checking their neighbourhood might be a good idea.

There's also a good chance that someone has taken him into their home. People tend to think that any cat hanging around their property late at night must be a stray especially if he had no collar (I know you feel bad about that....but don't feel too bad...my cats refuse to wear collars and take them off whenever I put them on so they are collarless also). Hopefully, they will take him in and give him a bite to eat and drink and then put him out again so he can find his way home.

There's a little ginger kitten that visits my backyard daily to play with my cats through the screen on the patio. He looks quite thin and not well groomed so I often slide a bowl of Riley and LeStat's food out to him with a bowl of water just in case he needs it but I won't take him into my home until I know for sure that he doesn't belong to my neighbours...many people will consider that and will put him out to see if he heads home.

Have you knocked on your neighbours doors asking if anyone has seen him? Once, in the middle of the winter (very cold night) I found a little beagle in my backyard wimpering and freezing. I took her in and warmed her up and kept her overnight since it was late anyway. I went around the block in the morning with her on a leash to see if I could find her family, called all of the local shelters and put up flyers with her picture on them. It took her family almost 2 weeks to find her at my house and they only lived 6 doors down from me on the opposite side of the street.

I know I'm just kind of repeating what everyone else has said but I just so hope that you find him...and soon!

Hang in there,
Kristie

I read your story, something alot of cat owners must face with babies that are not content staying inside. Let me tell you the story of frosty, in hopes you will not lose faith so quickly:
During my divorce, my pets were part of the settlement, and my ex kept my baby frosty out of spite, not because he wanted him, but to make me upset. I moved about 40 miles away from the home where we lived. Months passed and i settled in, wondering if frosty was still alive, if he had gotten rid of him, knowing i mite not ever know. I came home from work one day, and the kids rushed out to greet me, a fuzzy black cat hanging from their arms. Frosty had found his way home, he was sitting on our front porch meowing up a storm and when the kids opened the door, he walked in as if he had always lived there. I will never know if he found us from 40 miles away, or if he was dropped off, but he found us and that was all that mattered.
I know the "not knowing" is the hardest part, and i understand your pain. I have had so many animals threw the years i cant count. And it is like losing a child. Keep the faith, and remember whatever happens you did all you could.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I'm trying hard to be positive but sometimes it just doesn't help. This was a rough weekend for me. On Friday night my husband told me "Gandalf has found somewhere else to live so get over it and move on." I didn't know what to say to him. I'm trying to deal with this the best I can and I'm not doing very well at it. Not a day goes by that I don't cry for Gandalf.

This last year has been really tough for me and pets. I lost my 16 year old Friskie kitty on July 5, 2004. We adopted two kittens the middle of August and name them Gandalf and Dorian. Dorian died at the end of August when my daughter's dog killed her. It was violent but quick and I still have nightmares about it. I didn't want Gandalf to grow up alone so I found another kitten his age. This kitten came with a brother and the SPCA didn't want to separate them so I took them both. Sabrina and Max joined Gandalf and along with "uncle" Thor our black lab and we were a family again. Now our family is shattered again.......

I've put my scent out around the yard both front and back. I've put food out in the front yard and the backyard. The food in front is getting eaten but there are cats all over the neighborhood that roam. I checked at the local shelter again and he's not there and not listed on the DOA list either.

I want to keep hoping he'll come home and I do want him home more than anything but this is really killing me slowly. I wake up each morning hoping today is the day and fall asleep each night wishing for his little body curled up next to me.

Thanks again for all your support.

Hugs,
Dawn