Hello to all.
It has been a while since I have last posted on this site. Just wanted to update on my adoption of Cocoa. She has been with us for 2 months & 1 day and what began as a nightmare has turned into a blessing. When I lost my baby Duchess I was so distraut that I could not eat, sleep, talk, I just existed in a state of shock . She died from a sudden illness that took her within a week's time frame. It just knocked the wind out of me because I was not prepared for her death -- she died 3 weeks before her 5th birthday. Since I had been laid off from my job on 11/30/04 I had spent alot of time with Duchess so it was even harder on me because I lost my buddy. My husband gets up early in the morning and off to work while I stayed behind with Duchess. Not being able to find employment after being in this particular office for 17 yrs has really shaken my world since I am a creature of habit. So as the weeks turned into months I had alot of time to spend with my Duchess not knowing that my world was about to be rocked once more. Then it happened -- she was gone:(
My husband could not deal with my emotional state. It affected our relationship because I could not bring myself to talk about her for long before I would start to cry & it made me very very angry. I guess I took it out on him & some days would go by without much being said. It was about 3 weeks later that we adopted Cocoa after searching the web's various pet finder site's. At first I did not even want to deal with her & it stired up all my emotions. My husband felt that I ignored her ( and I must admit I did at first). In my mind I could not bring myself to even think about loving her because I felt that it would be a slap in the face to my precious Duchess. It took about 4 weeks before I started to interact with her. My God, she is such a good, smart, loving, adorable furbaby but I could not see through my grief. This 9 month old puppy has really helped me to get through the rough road I had been on. She has brought me so much joy that I thought I could never feel again. She is part Choc lab/ part Pit & I always felt afraid of Pit's but I was so wrong. She has the same sweet loving disposition that my precious Duchess (Black / lab shepard mix) did. So happy this puppy gave me time to get to love her as she would always come and lay next to me when I did not return her love. She has found her way into my heart which has begun to beat again because of her sweetness. I'll never forget my Duchess but am so happy to have the opportunity to share my love with my baby Cocoa.
Duchess & Cocoa's mommy

Oh I am so happy for you and for Cocoa! This is wonderful news. And your bond will only continue to grow stronger. The way I see it, loving a new one is actually a way of honoring your Duchess because this is what she would have wanted for you -you are carrying out her wishes! You will always love and miss Duchess and you will always be her Mommy. But now you can love two girls (but take care of Cocoa) while God takes care of Duchess.

Best of luck with your new little one!
Jenny

I am thrilled for you!!!!!
I have been wondering how you were doing. I am SO glad you finally gave sweet Cocoa a chance. What a beautiful love story!
Cocoa is about the same age as my Brandy and Ann's little Schnitzel.

PLEASE keep us posted and tell us more about your new baby. I would LOVE to see a picture of her if you get a chance.

I hope you and your husband have been able to bond again too!!!!

Cheri

What wonderful news! I am so happy for your family.

I'd also love to see a picture of sweet little Cocoa if you have one handy.....

All the best,
Kristie

Dear Kristie, Cheri, & Jenny
Thank you for your kind & beautiful words. I have finally found peace in knowing that I still have the love in my heart that I thought had died along with my Duchess. My husband & I are so very happy as this little one has helped to bring us closer together. Since I am still without employment this has given me a chance to bond with my little one. She loves to play in the yard & we go for many walks together. I am sure than when the time is right for me to leave her, a job opportunity will present itself. I've been tring to hard to find one & decided to just let it go for a while as it probably is not meant to be at the moment. So I will make the most out of this time we have to be together. As far as a picture, I would love to post one of Cocoa but do not know how so I will e-mail you each of you a picture of her.
Thanks again for your lovely thoughts

Happiness to you. I'm glad your "nightmare" has awoken to a sweet dream of reality.

Hugs,

Pat

Dear Duchess and Cocoa's Mommy,

So happy for you that you've bonded with your Cocoa. Your relationship with Cocoa won't be exactly the same as the one you had with Duchess and she will never take the place of Duchess but it will be just as strong and bring you much contentment. I'm glad that Cocoa is filling some of that empty space you had in your heart. These things take time since losing a precious pet causes us to feel so many gut-wrenching emotions. Again, good news for you, your hubby and sweet Cocoa. Duchess is looking down on her family very happpily now.

Hugs,
Lynn

You are so lucky to have found such a great dog. I know you will continue to bond with her and it will help you heal.

Sometime I would like to replace my cat Ashley but I am still not ready. I go to the shelter but I don't feel anything for the cats there. I just want my own back. My neighbors lost their cat around the same time and replaced him with in a week, but only because they heard of a cat who needed a home. If another animal needed me I would respond but I can't see actually going out and getting one. I have this feeling Ashley wouldn't like it. But I know from losing other pets that this feeling will change.

I am so happy to hear that you have formed a bond with Cocoa. I know you were having such a hard time with it after you got her. Sounds like it is real love in the making to me.

Like Cheri said she is close in age to our babies. Schnitzel just turned 8 months on the 16th. I too had trouble bonding with Schnitzel until Snookie came to me in a dream letting me know it was ok. Now I am so thrilled with my little girl, I loved her but until the dream of Snookie I was afraid to show it.

Getting through the puppy stage has been a little tough but Schnitzel is coming along just fine. No none of us will ever forget our fur children but it sure is good not to be alone.
Love, Ann