My dog, Ewok passed away unexpectedly this past Mon. We took him in to be creamated and recieved the ashes in an Urn yesterday. In the days between, I had to wash his favorite rug he layed on when we went to bed, and completely lost it. I also cleaned around here, and re-arranged the Urns of 3 other dogs of ours that have passed.
I wake up every morning, and start to get up to let Ewok out, but then remember he's not here. When I come home and expect to see him greet me by the door, I walk in to an emptyness. It's so hard. I got him when I was 14, and I'm now 31, so he's been a huge part of my life. Anyways, here's a pic of him, and the pic underneath of him is a pic of Krissy, our other dog who passed away a couple years ago. They were really tight, and hope that someday if I find the right woman for me, that I have the relationship like Krissy and Ewok. Under the pics will be a poem I wrote for Krissy about a year and a half after she passed.

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y26/Gothi.../KrissyEwok.jpg
''I Didn't Get To Say Goodbye"
Maybe if I would have known, you would still be here. I try and tell myself that your still here with me, but guilt reminds me of that time passed. In times of my tears, you were there with your resonating light. Now I’m here, with a piece of you missing in my life. I thought I understood things when you were here, but now your gone, and loneliness has made me ignorant to what once was
Words that should have been said, linger within the guilt of my regrets.
I still think of you, to this day, but I can’t go back.

There are times, I feel you, but your not here.
There are times the loneliness pulls me down
But when I grasp the memory of you in my mind,
And it feels like your right here with me.
But then I open my eyes and realize,
I didn’t get to say goodbye.

If I could look in your eyes, one more time and bring these feelings to words, maybe I wouldn’t feel the shame of your abandonment. Maybe the guilt would die, fading away into nothingness. But your not here anymore, and try as hard as I may, you won’t ever be coming back.

Your babies are so beautiful and I am so sorry for you loss. Thanks for sharing the pictures and the poem, come and write as often as you would like. We all try to help each other walk this terrible journey that none of us want to walk. I too found myself thinking I had to take my Chili Bean and Snookie out when I lost them. It was a terrible feeling to wake up to.
Ann

I am so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful thing to love your dear ones so much ~ and with such compassion and caring ~Your words here ==>" In times of my tears, you were there with your resonating light. " They are so beautiful and also so true in defining how our pets grace our lives ~ Their light still shines for us ~ this is how we stay close to each other ~ the light is still resonating and decorating our souls ~ and illuminating the way ~ the new way ~ that we must be together now ~ we are now sharing light and love ~ I believe that we have been given the forever gift of being made more caring and more loving because of it ~ I think that the next thing we do is learn how to open our hearts to prepare a golden space for them come to ~ so that they can help us the rest of the way ~ It's the light they brought to us that never goes out ~ It's the love in that light that never dies ~ I hope this helps you ~ Peace Be With You ~ You are not alone ~ Kathryn, Angel Amber and C.C.

I am so sorry for your loss of Ewok and Krissy. I know the feeling of thinking you have to take Ewok out and then realize he's not there. Our 12-yr old dog, DJ, passed in Feb and there's times I'm thinking I have to take DJ out and then realize he's not here. It's hard. Ewok and Krissy are beautiful and Thanks for sharing your poem.


Wanda

Precious babies.....I say again..the everyday...getting used to them being gone is the worst, but somehow given time we adapt to it. Now, you could not have told me that just a few short months ago.....because I DIDN'T WANT TO ADAPT to a life with out Moose. But it happens anyway, it's part of our makeup. BUT, that doesn't mean I don't still long deeply for my boy and still cry from deep within but my mind has accepted that he is gone. That has been the hardest part of this whole thing.
So, keep the faith!! It is only saying goodbye for a little while. Pamela

I'm so sorry for your loss. My dog Jasmine passed away suddenly too....it will be 3 weeks this coming Monday. Wow, it feels like longer than that. I understand not being able to say goodbye as I didn't get too either. It hurts a LOT but we have to know that every day they were alive meant so much. And if you're like me, you said goodbye everyday you left the house. We will see our babies again some day...so it's not really goodbye I guess.
Take care
Audrey