It's been one month to the day that I lost my best friend. I'm still struggling
daily to get thru this mightmare. Pukka ( Pooka) was only two years old.
She seemed perfectly healthy one day, the next day we were told she was
in very bad shape at the emergency vet. After alot of tests, the vets best diagnosis was severe pancreatitis, we told the vet to do whatever they could to save her , no matter what it cost. On the fourth day she began to bleed internally,
I walked in to see her, to find her bleeding from her nose and mouth. No one prepared me for what I saw that day. We were told there was no hope.
She died on March 7th 2005.

I'm so angry, she was just a baby, I feel like I should seen some type of sign
that she was sick, but I play it over and over in my mind, and there were no
outward signs. She just went from seemingly normal, to being put down in four days.
Also, my last image is of her laying in a puddle of her own blood..I will never get over that, no matter how long I live. ( crying again)

I have talked to numerous vets, and they say it is nothing we did ( she was in great shape, hardly any people food etc..) i just don't understand how this happened or why.

Thanks for letting me vent..will post a pic soon, she was a beautiful rottie/lab mix
my truest friend, my most faithful companion, my child..I just hope she knows that her Mommy will never ever forget her and that even though we got cheated
by only having two years together, I wouldn't trade those times for anything in this world.

I Love You Pukka-girl!!!





.

I am SO so sorry that you have that horrid visual in your head. I wish you never had to see that and they were very wrong not to warn you prior to entering that she was having this problem.

The vets already said it, but I'll also say it. There's not one thing you could have done to prevent her illness nor is there anything you could possibly have done to have caused it, so that's a thought you need to get rid of if you have it.

Know that we feel your pain with you and feel your heartbreak in mass. We're all in this together and we're all going to get through it together with our mutual love and support. My wish for you is peace of heart.

Hugs to you,

Pat

I am so sorry that you had such a heart-rending experience with your darling Pukka. It must have been so shockingly tragic for you. One minute to have a young, strong and healthy dog and then suddenly for her to have developed something so severe as pancreatitis. Please don't blame yourself though, or feel in any way that you could have prevented this from happening. It is a silent condition, very sudden very violent and usually fatal, both in humans and in animals. Thankfully it's pretty rare. But in no way could you have foreseen it or prevented it.

I am so sorry that her ending was so heartbreaking for you and to be left with those sort of images is something that must be so very difficult to live with. She is at peace now though, and sometimes after a difficult passing as she had, it can help just a little to try to remember that she is not suffering now, her suffering is over now, she has passed into the spirit world. You are the one who is suffering now and I am sure she wouldn't want for her mommy to be beset with those final images.

I hope that soon you will be able to remember the happy memories of the times you had with your beautiful girl. I look forward to seeing a picture of her very soon, she sounds so adorable.

My thoughts are with you
with love
jilly

I am SO sorry for your loss. I cry as I type this because I had a very similar experience almost 3 weeks ago. My dog Jasmine was fine one mine, and then not. I rushed her to the emergency vet but she passed right as we got there. It all happened in about 45 min. I didn't have an autopsy done but the vet told me she believed it was a hidden tumor that affected a major organ. She had internal bleeding as well.
I don't have a pleasant last memory of my baby alive, but mine wasn't quite as bad as yours. My last image of her is the vet tech carrying her off into the ER area and her head falling to the side and her tongue falling out of her mouth. So I understand not having that last calm and happy memory. It's horrific to me that you had to go through that. I can't even imagine what a nightmare it was for you.
I did get to see her one last time after she died. THey brought her out and I spent some time with her. I could tell her spirit was gone but I needed to just kiss her one more time.
I also had those thoughts...how could I have not known something was wrong? I took excellent care of her (and my other dog). She was healthy and happy...and then gone. But the vet assured me there was NOTHING I could have done. There was no way for my regular vet to know because she was always so healthy. I share your guilt but please try to let that go. You did the best you could for your baby. She lived a great life because of you and she knew it. You gave her a great life. Unfortunately that's more than a lot of dogs get. She sounds beautiful and I look forward to seeing her picture.
Take care.
Audrey

I am SO, SO sorry that you lost your Pukka girl so young.
I know you keep hearing this, but you must NOT feel guilty!!!!! Your grief and pain is enough to deal with, you don't need to add guilt on top of it. You gave your precious girl the very best life, and that is all you can do. Unfortunately, we can't protect our furbabies from disease and illness. It's all part of life.

I have read SO many stories like yours. Many people have suddenly discovered an illness in their furbaby when it is too late to treat. I, too, suffered the same experience. My Rachael seemed so healthy and fine one day, then suddenly one day she appeared too weak to even get up. It was only another day or two that she stopped eating and then drinking. The vet told us she was bleeding internally from a cancerous tumor. We only had three days with her before we had to make the decision to end her suffering. I was told in this forum (and I really do believe it) that animals won't show ANY weakness as part of their survival instincts left over from the wild. By the time they show signs, their little bodies have just become too weak to hide it anymore.

I am also VERY sorry that you have such a terrible image in your mind of Pukka. I KNOW you won't believe this, but I promise you that image will dull in time. My experience wasn't as terrible, but it felt just heart wrenching to hold my little girl and watch her take her last breath and grow limp in my arms. For the first month, that was the only image I could think of. It haunted me day and night! After a month though, the image began to fade some. At this point (6 months) I have to stop and really think about it to remember that image. Yours may take more time since it was so shocking and terrible for you, but I PROMISE you that in time you will be able to remember more of her GOOD times. That devasting moment shouldn't represent her whole life for you. I pray you will find peace with this someday and be able to cherish your wonderful memories without this nightmare image getting in the way. Please don't think I am implying that your sweet Pukka didn't suffer. I just want you to cherish the happy times.

My thoughts are with you!
Cheri

I am so sorry your lost your precious Pukka. It is just so hard when we do everything we can to provide the best of care for them, and then something happens that we have no control over. I am so sorry that you were not prepared to see your baby bleeding. Someone should have prepared you for that.

I too saw over and over again me holding Chili Bean being put to sleep when I was so unprepared for it. The image stayed with me for a long time but now I rarely see that anymore. I am beginning to see all the wonderful things she did throughout her life. Then there was my darling Snookie who left this world at home. It too was horrible and she let out a sound that sounded like something out of a horror movie just before she died.

Please come and talk to us often we all help each other so much. It really helps to have support through this terrible journey.
Ann

I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words, believe me, it means so much to know there are sme wonderful people out there who truly understand the depth of my pain.
Today, is gonna be a tough one for me. I own alittle cottage in Ocean City, Md.
It was Pukka's absolute favorite place in the world. It will be the first time I've
been there since she passed. All of her toys will still be there, not to mention
all the memories. It's gonna break my heart . I just can't imagine her not being there.
Your right, the vets should have warned me that she was bleeding internally/externally..they did apologize, but it doesn't erase the image. I hope in time, that will fade, but I don't think it will be anytime soon.
I just miss her so, and feel like she was my protector, and in the end I couldn't protect her, I know the guilt I feel is probably not justified, it's true, animals will hide a sickness for as long as they can, but we were so close, practically
inseperable, maybe I missed something?

Hugs to all,
Tam

Dear Tam,

I'm so sorry for your loss of Pukka. Your experience sounds so terrible...I'm so sorry both you and Pukka had to experience that.

I know how angry you're feeling about losing Pukka at such a young age. Shiloh was not quite 5 years old when she was diagnosed with lymphoma. Even though we did chemotherapy, she still didn't make it. I know how it is to feel so helpless and that nothing you do can help your baby.

It sounds like you gave Pukka 2 wonderful years.

You're in my thoughts.
Kathleen