I have created an online photo album as a tribute to my incredible, extremely special girl, who was put to sleep 10 days ago. For anyone who is interested, you can take a look at

http://Avril2814.bebo.com

I am still battling terribly with Shanti's death. I cannot stop thinking of her, and I miss her terribly. I am trying to get on with my life, but the pain and heartache is still so intense. I have cried myself to sleep each night, and am concerned that I am battling like this.

I know it will take time to heal. I guess I have been through so much, having made an international move all alone just less than 2 years ago. And now this ...

I am truly grateful for the wonderful love and support I have had from friends and family, all over the world, and that has helped keep me going when I feel down.

I need to be gentle with myself, I know, and slowly but surely try to move forwards with my life. Austin and Little Patch are being so very special, and are such a great help to me as I try to pick up the pieces of my broken heart

Thanks to everyone here for your wonderful support!!

Love

Avril

Hi Avril, I just went in and looked all the pictures of your baby Shanti. I could not help but cry as I looked at how bad off she was in some of them. I hate that pain and death touches us all and leaves broken shattered hearts behind. Even though it leaves scars on our hearts most of us had said we would do it all over again. I for one would suffer the pain all over to have that love from my girls again. I am glad Austin and Little Patch are helping you with your grief.
Ann

Thanks Ann!

Yes, it is so heatbreaking to see what she looked like just a year ago, and what she was reduced to in recent times. The hard thing for me, having cared for her through her illness, is that I need to try to get those "sick" pictures out of my mind somehow now, and replace them with the kind that I have included in this album, of when she was so bright, happy and beautiful. She was such a phenonenal animal, and losing her, slowly over time, has been so tragic and heartbreaking

Dear Avril,

Such a BEAUTIFUL furkitty!
Thank you for sharing her pictures with us. It is so heartbreaking to see how sick she became. You stuck with her and took SUCH good care of her, right to the end. That is what matters the most.

I know you are still in immense pain right now. You do have to be patient with yourself though. It will hurt until you release all your pain and tears and allow the healing to begin. There is no set time-table. As badly as it hurts, keep allowing yourself to feel the pain.

I understand the mental pictures that you carry in your mind right now. I kept picturing my Rachael near the end. She was too weak to walk and I kept picturing her laying on the floor trying to drink from her water dish that I kept close to her. I kept picturing her last breath when the vet ended her suffering. However, the good news is that with time and healing, those pictures will fade. I have to REALLY think about it now to picture those images. I can now sit and remember all the joy and love she brought to me. There will be a day, soon I hope, that your precious Shanti's image will be pleasant and bring a smile to your face.

Hang in there!
My thoughts are with you,
Cheri

Dear Shanti's Mommy -- Avril,
So sorry for your loss my heart goes out to you. Such a beautiful baby
I know your heart is breaking but know that we are all here for you my friend.
We are all here to keep each other going -- through our painful journey of grief.
Remember that in time it will get better but in the meanwhile keep unloading on these pages.
It will really help you in the healing process.
Hugs
Bernadette Duchess & Cocoa's Mommy

Avril, thanks so much for sharing the pictures of all three of your beautiful babies. Shanti seems to have suffered terribly, but with pure dignity and class... as she looks like one very classy little sweetheart!

She no longer has any discomfort... she's happy now and wants you to also be happy.

Hugs to you,

Pat

Dear Avril,

Shanti was beautiful. How devastating for you to have to see her suffer like that in the end. I'm glad you have your other precious kitties to bring you comfort. (That picture of Austin, Little Patch and Shanti together is beautiful.)

Thinking of you,

Hugs,
Lynn

Hi Avril:

Your sweet, beloved Shanti was beautiful, Avril................and now, you can picture her just as she used to be when she was healthy, full of life, and in no pain up at Rainbow's Bridge....

Everyone here at Lightning-Strike knows how awful it feels when our babies pass on..... All of the tears you cry ---
Know that they will heal you, and please, cry as much as you need to, Avril...



Just as you said, "Yes, you do need to be gentle with yourself.... For sure.... I am soooooooo happy that you have
Austin and Little Patch there to comfort you, to lick away your tears.....
Our babies are soooooo special.....they KNOW when we are not feeling well.....

Please keep coming here and pour your heart out....
We are all here to listen, and to help you.....
It does get better----Really, it does!!

God Bless You!!

Love, Denise

Avril,

I am so happy to see you have made such a wonderful album of your babies. They are all so very special. Take care, June