I do not wish to share this post.

There is NOTHING wrong with you. Read that sentence over and over again. You are normal.

What you need is a big hug. Please understand that once having had Abby in your life, you will never truly be alone again. Inside of your soul there is a little, tail wagging spark that will be with you until you make the next step on your journey.

Although I know life seems pointless when we lose someone we love so much, this is the time when life is actually more important. We live for them. Dedicate every day, every minute, to Abby. Think of her all the time, smile at the memories of her, and know that no matter what happens in your life, no matter how bleak it may seem - you have had, and continue to have, beings who love you and care about you.

I am one of them. Hugs......

You sound perfectly normal to me after all your heart has been ripped out of your chest. All of us are in the process of trying to heal with a huge sore raw gapping hole where a heart used to be. I too geared my whole life towards my Snookie and my family. It is hard to change direction in your life after all those years of loving your baby and taking care of their every need and suddenly they are not there anymore. It just kills the heart and soul and we have to fight the sadness everyday just to put that one foot forward. We have to fight for the smile even if at times it does not reach our eyes.

Yes, the good memories will start coming and maybe we can smile again but with the smiles often the tears also flow. For in those wonderful memories is the longing to have them in our arms again. Even as we think about the lovely memories sometimes the pain is relentless and it makes us realize even more just how empty our arms are.

Sometimes I think my being 51 makes it harder to overcome the pain and the sadness. I have not found a whole lot of relief myself and I think my God if I have to have years of longing for my baby...... Well you know maybe this is not the kind of post I needed to write to try to comfort you and if you find it to much of a downer let me know and I will delete it off from her.

It seems like I am not doing much good for anyone lately and I don't want to pull anyone down. Perhaps in a couple of days I will back away from here altogether and give people a rest away from my posts and the sadness my heart feels. I know I have been making a lot of post lately. I just feel so old, tired, worn out, and half crazy from missing Snookie and Chili Bean so much. I don't want to cause anyone any more pain and sorrow than they already have from missing their babies so much. Please let me know if you want this post deleted.
Love, Ann

Dear Ann,
3 weeks ago I lost a kitten that my daughter had found due to a car accident. I had cared for the kitten for 7 weeks and cannot believe how much I miss him! Let me assure you...you will get thru this. I buried Jacque in our backyard near our golden retriever (Bear) of 13 years. Every night I would walk to Bear's grave under our maple tree. There I would cry freely, sit on the ground near him and speak to him. For 5 weeks I had the same ritual. I am now going thru this with my kitten. As painful as it is right now, I PROMISE you, soon there will be a day when you look at your pet's picture and smile. You will be SO thankful that he was a part of your life. I have recently decided to donate some time to our local humane society in memory of the pets that have been a part of my life. There are many different areas that you can be involved with that do not expose you to some of the sadder areas of the humane society. I have agreed to donate some time going into classrooms with another volunteer and educating children about pet care and the humane society. I will also go with other volunteers to Petsmart one Saturday per month the help find homes for abandoned animals. Petsmart is INCREDIBLE! Go to their website and read what they have done for homeless animals. They are amazing! Their empathy and giving makes me feel hopeful in a very self-centered world. I am considering working for them in their pet adoption area because I feel so strongly about pets being a part of the family. I know how hard this is right now. Go ahead and cry. Look thru pictures. Touch them, pet them and blow them a kiss. Much sympathy, Theresa

Thank you so much for wanting me to stay and I'm glad I didn't say anything that brought you further down. I really didn't want to go away but I wondered if maybe I was not giving enough comfort and maybe was pulling people down. I have been so sad and lonely for my girl and I have been feeling guilty about giving her foods that were not good for her diabetes. I just wanted her to keep eating and when she would go for days at a time without eating I would have given her anything she wanted if it would have let her be able to eat.

I can't seem to quit posting about my Snookie and how wonderful she is and how much I miss her. I wanted everyone to know the sweet baby she was. With all my post I look like I am a woman who can't shut up but it makes me feel better to talk about her. I didn't want people to think I was taking over this board but I don't feel like I am doing that because I do post to everyone who makes a post too. Thank you.
Love, Ann