I want to tell my story it may even be taken off from here but it will tell of my love for my Snookie too. Some may find it to hard to read but it makes me who I am and how I came to have compassion. I will try to make it as short as I can but it will be long.

I came from a broken home and by my birth mother I was beaten, locked in closets, pushed down stairs, burned with cigarettes, had many bones broken, called horrible names and things like that. I barely had any thing to eat and I cried myself to sleep each night, sometimes locked in the closet to spend the night and sometimes I slept out on the streets.

I told myself if I was lucky and she didn't kill me I would grow up and and never be this way to my children. Back in those days child abuse was not something they did much about. When I was 7 1/2 years old someone turned her in and I along with 2 brothers and a sister was taken out of that torture. We were put in a home for unwanted children.

A couple came and took me to live with them just after I had turned 8. They adoped me when I was 9 and mom was the most gentle woman upon the face of the earth. You can read my web page and what she meant to me so I can shorten this a little. She was so full of love and compassion and she taught me to love and she taught me about God and His love. Yet it was hard for me to trust hardly anyone and in that department I fall short of trust and it is sad to feel that way.

I met my dear sweet kind gentle loving understanding Clair and marriage to him has been the best for all these years. Our 4 beautiful children are the love of my life I have never laid a hand upon them. They grew up to be lovely children and they all say I am so gentle, kind and sweet. We now have 6 grandchilren.

What I didn't learn from my family I learned the rest from Snookie. She trusted me with her life and I trusted her with mine. Snookie wanted to be by my side every second of the day and night. We had long walks together and played tug of war, ball and all kinds of games. She would be there to listen to all of my secrets and she would lick away my tears. I would sit holding her and think life couldn't get any better than this.

Snookie was such a gentle girl and even sometimes Chili Bean would try to rule the house and would nip at Snookie and she would come running to me. They were so close to the same age and each one wanted to be top dog. Yet a couple of times if Snookie thought I was in danger I saw her keep them at bay and they asked me to call her off. After I told them to step away and walk backwards she left them alone.

Snookie was the love and joy of my life, my little girl, the one who I could trust more than anyone in this world. I have never before saw a look of love that I saw in her eyes and I'm sure I will never see that look any where again. I miss her so very much and now part of my heart is forever empty.

Loving Snookie and my family has been a blessing, a gift from God, and I am thankful beyond words. How I grew up, what I came from and all the pain I went through and all the love I have found has made me who I am.

All the love, compassion and understanding in my heart runs deep and I strive everyday of my life to be gentle loving and kind. With my Snookie's love I was able to learn how to trust and love even more than I ever thought I could. My precious Snookie thought I was worthy of her love and devotion and she lavished me with it and my heart was made whole. She helped to heal all the heartbreak that I have ever lived through. I can't say enough how blessed I am, I never say I am lucky because it was only the blessing of God who kept me.
Ann

Dear Ann,

What a heartbreaking story. I'm so sorry that you suffered so much in the early part of your life. How wonderful that you found such a loving mother at the age of 8. It sickens me to hear of children or animals being abused in any way. How can people be that way to ones so innocent and trusting?

You were blessed to have found Clair and he to have found you and now you have your beautiful family. You were so good to Snookie. She knew how special she was to you and how much you loved her, hence those "dog eyes". My mother had a poodle (Molly), who used to look at her with those same eyes. She followed her everywhere. She'd look right into her eyes. It was really funny to see Molly "staring" at her all the time. You could just see the love in those eyes. My husband and I had gotten Molly (she was older and only had a short time left before she was to be euthanized) from a dog shelter, thinking she would be our dog. Molly loved all of us but was just enamored of my mother, which turned out to be a good thing since my dad had recently passed away. We had Molly for only 5 years and had to have her put to sleep due to cancer.

You're such a strong person, Ann. You have overcome so much in your life. You will get through this and be able one day to remember, with happiness the good times you had with Snookie.

Thinking of you.

Love,
Lynn

Dear Ann,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. That was such a painful beginning to your life! You really are so blessed to have turned into such a caring and compassionate woman. You were not the only blessed one, though. Your dear Clair, family, furbabies and especially Snookie were just as blessed to be sent to you. You all have a purpose in life, and how wonderful and blessed all those lives have been.

My beginning can not be compared to yours, but when my parents divorced I was only 8 years old. I remember being left out of conversations and court battles because of my young age. At the time I didn't understand, and my brother's Irish Setter, Minnie, was the only one that seemed to be "there" for me. I know that is when I developed such a deep love for furbabies. In that way, I can relate to your deep love for animals.

I can't stand abuse to any child or animal! To this day I have never watched Ole Yeller or Bambi because I know they die. My husband tries to protect me from seeing movies where an animal dies or gets hurt. Even if the movie is fiction, it upsets me. He shields my eyes from death on the sides of roads, etc. I used to work as a veterinary tech. because I love animals so much. However, I had to quit when I saw so much death and cruelty from owners.

Ann, you have come so far in your life and it's easy to see where you had to get your strength. Snookie brought so much into your life for you. I know the pain is unbearable right now, but she gave you unconditional love and taught you to trust. Her precious life may have ended here on earth physically, but her memory, love and teachings will be in your heart forever. You must stay strong and teach this to the world now. You need to spread her joy and trust to help those who haven't learned the joys and healing powers of being loved by God's precious furbabies.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Ann!
Cheri

Dear Ann,

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's a heartbreaking story with such a triumphant ending. It's wonderful that you turned your life around and became such a loving, compassionate person.

I think that you and Snookie were a gift in each other's life. I'm sure if Snookie could've written a post here, she would've written about how blest she was to have had a human being as wonderful as you for a mom, that you taught her to be the wonderful, caring dog she was, and that you were the love of her life, too.

It's just amazing what our furbabies teach us and how they help us become better people.

Ann, I know you miss little Snookie Lynn with all your heart. My thoughts continue to be with you.
Love,
Kathleen

Thank you for sharing your story Ann. It shows the strength of the human spirit and your goodness, kindness, and compassion shines right through. As horrible as the beginning of your life was, you became the warm, loving person you are today... and that's amazing. You have a good soul and a strong spirit, nothing could have changed that or who you were destined (and determined) to become.

Never forget that Snookie was just as lucky to have you as you were to have her (and that's a LOT)

Warm thoughts,
Kristie

Ann-
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I am amazed at awed at your will to survive and the success and love you were able to find in life despite such difficult beginings.
I found Indy at a time when I thought I was unlovable so I know what Snookie meant to you. Our babies gave us the "undying love and devotion " we so craved when it seemed like no one else could. You are worthy and deserving of all the love and devotion of your family and friends. Snookie showed you the way.
You are blessed. Despite what you have lost, God has seen that you gained so much more.
In time, your pain will lessen and I pray you will rejoice in the life and love brought to you by your darling Snookie.
Stay strong my friend.
Love,
Fran

Thank you Ann. That is a wonderful testimony. It shows how God can take a torn life and turn it for the better. And Snookie was there to give you a glimpse of what is to come. You better believe she was a gift, one you just have to give back for a little while you finish your life. Pamela

My story was painful to tell and I left out the worst parts that only my husband and Snookie ever knew about but you all got the picture. Thank you all so much and I wanted everyone to know that I do feel so very blessed having had my little girl in my life. Snookie was the love of my life who helped me work through all the pain I carried in my heart. She was a bundle of love from the day I got her and my life has been so enriched from being her Mama.

I just have to keep my mind on the fact that I will see her again otherwise I couldn't take another step and wouldn't want to take another breath. Snookie filled my world with love and I am always going to bask in the love that she gave to me.
Love, Ann

Hi Ann,

I'm sorry to hear of the heartbreak you went through as a child. I'm so glad that you have your husband, your kids, and your grandchildren.

I think that when a special furbaby dies it brings back a lot of terrible memories because it is so traumatic to lose them. After Luba died I went through ALL of the previous deaths and losses that I've experienced.

Pets can follow us into those dark corners that other humans, even very kind, loving humans, cannot entirely follow us into. The pets come to those dark corners and help bring us out. But when they leave we must face the darkness alone. And God it hurts.

I'm sorry.

Darkness is just what it feels like without my little girl being with me. And it sure did bring out a lot of feelings when I lost my precious Snookie. When I would tell her of my past and all the sadness that still remains in my heart she would put her paw upon my breast and lay her head across my neck and it would bring me comfort. I felt like she understood every word I said and she was telling me she would never let anything hurt me ever again. I used to show her my scars on my back and the scars from broken and chipped bones on my legs and she would look at them. I told her thats why I had never spanked her or the kids. I always talked calmly to them and they all turned out wonderful. I do not believe that those who were beat need to do the same thing. I told myself when I was a little girl I would never do that to my children or to any living being and I never have. We are what we want to be and we must work at being what we want to be. I always strive to be kind, understanding, gentle, loving and compassionate.