Meatballs Last Vet Trip

Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the replies in the past 48 hours, they have really smoothed this out a lot.

I just got back from taking Meatball to the vet for the last time.
I'l be able to pick him up in a week, but this time in a urn.
We decided to have him cremated, to keep him with us the rest of our lives.
When he died last night, in bed with me, he took a part of me with him.
So, in turn I snuck a hair clipping of mine from my last haircut between his front legs to be cremated too.

I felt it was just fitting,
David

Its Over

At the last moment meatball was nice to me again.

He saved me from the anguishing drive to the vet.

He went into culvulsions and died next to me in bed.
I talked to him all night, rubbed his back and his nose, between the eyes, Oh man did he used to love that.
He would let out a heartbreaking moan, but iwas determined to stay with him
I cried during, but immediately afterwards I was calm, he's with my dad.
Tomorrow might be another story.
last thing I said to him was "I love you. "
It didnt last very long, but was hard to see.
The body, is going to the vet to see if it happen to be rabies, for saftey.
That is no longer him, its where he used to live.
He even gave a reason to have a small consoling smile in death.
When i picked up his body his paw went up to my nose, as to say "No kisses"

Goodbye, Meatball I will love you even after Im gone.
David

My Last Night With Meatball

Ive done something i NEVER thought i do.

We've decided to send Meatball on his way.

3 years ago I almost lost him to a backed up uninary tract the doctor said probably missed it
by hours. One option that was brought up on the way to the vet was putting him to sleep.
I said I would never NEVER give him up. The thought made me furious.
He was MY cat and I wouldnt give him up for anything. As time went on my look at it softened
to "If He needed it"
Until today my attitude was almost back to the 1st, but some things happened.
1: I found a way to ask my questions about my role of his Guardian protector, and got a answer that i
Believed Because they werent friends and family trying to get me in a better mood.
2: Today as i said in my last post, I believe in my heart he told me he knows where he is going and what he means to me
So tonight I plan to let him sleep with me as usual, although i prolly wont be able to sleep at all.
Its okay though i'll put in a dvd in the computer and watch it, and give him rubs all night. then when my ride gets here we'll take him to the vet and tell him about how dad loves "rubs" and animals that sit in his lap, and (best of all) he will get all the tuna he wants. (lol) Tell him I love him and will miss him. Then, deliver him to Dad.
Meatball or what my roomate calls him some "dude" was always kinda skitish cat, when company came in, he went out. or would hide in 1 of the bedrooms.
Dad on the other hand was able to hold him on occasion.
The last time we brought him home from the vet about a week ago I think, for the next 3 days he was the classic meatball, rubs all the time even when i was in the middle of something.
(hehe) he sent some instant messages out for me by walking on the keyboard. Purred in this high-pitched "Im happy" purr.
Crawled under the sheets to play "blanket of Death" with any fingers that happen to poke them or any toes he happen to see from under them.
Unfortunately, the week led to todays desicion. But, those 3 days I think will be the most cherished moments I will have of him because he was sick for months and to see him like that was amazing, it helped me alot. It was just all too brief.
I realized today its for the best, and tonight im surprisingly calm If a bit talky.

He is to me, your pets were to you, "The best cat in the world"
Again thanks for listening. David

Meatball Knows

Hi all.
I don't know to say fortunately, or unfortunatly meatball hasnt died.
I guess it would matterif it was for me or him.
I know he wants to be alone, but I cant help going in to my room and talking to him and evn cradling him more.
After all thats going to be the thing I miss the most.
I think he knows im mourning, he ws there when my dad passed away. he remember how I was then.
and when i would sit on my back porch and cry he would walk up and hop into my lap and nuzzle me.
It always helped, but today he can barely move.
The skies are grey here, and a light rain is coming down.
I go into the room and talk to him normally, when i can. And tell him I love him and will miss him.
But today I think I had the most special moment i might ever have.
Last time I walked out of my room I noticed a single wide shaft of light coming in as the rain let up.
So, more for myself, I called to him and said theres something I wanted him to see.
when we got to the back porch i pointed up and said "See that? Thats where you're going, your going to see Dad. he'll take care of you."
What amazed me is that HE LOOKED RIGHT AT IT , then laid his head on my shoulder nose buried in my neck.
I wasnt even sure he could see.

He knows, You were right.
David

I Need To Know

Hi,
I just signed up, althought ive seen this page for a little while now.
Ihave a cat who is dying in my bed. where he slept almost nightly for 9 or more years
and we're basically waiting.
Im not quite homebound but, i usually dont leave the house for upto a week at a time.
and cant work. My best friend is my roomate but he works 2 jobs. so he is gone alot.
Of course this means my cat Meatball, is my biggest source of company and affection, which i need.
and I think only people here can understand what he means to me.
I have the usual questions: "Could I have done more, better?"
"Did I do right by him?" "did I let him go too soon?"
"Will I be able to get another 1 like him?" "Would I love it the same?"
"Would he want me too?"
BUT the 1 Question that is tearing my heart out and kepping me in tears constantly is:
"Does he know how much i love him, and what he means to me??"
I desperately want him to know before its too late.
Ive'd asked my Dad (who passed on in 2000) to please take care of him until i can again.
Lonliness is my worst fear.
Thnaks for listening.
David