I Miss My Best Friend

I lost the best friend I've ever known just 3 days ago. My cat Versache. His death was very unexpected and traumatic for him, me and my partner. After many tears, processing of info from the dr. and exploring every viable option, we had to choose to put him to sleep. I'm at peace with the decision to end his suffering, but that doesn't make it easier to live with. I've never felt a loss or pain like this ever before and am just lost, alone and can't express the hurt. I simply want him back and wish my hurt would end. He gave me joy, love and so much comfort. Followed me endlessly and rarely gave me a moment's peace as he wanted to be by my side all of the time. I enjoyed his unconditional love for 14 years. He made me feel special as I saw us both as outcasts in one way or another...like a team. Had I not felt as though he loved me every bit as much as I love him, this wouldn't be so hard. Its only been 3 days, so I know my future holds more sorrow and "firsts" without him.

I just confirmed his final arrangements. Thinking of him out there, without me with him, just cuts so deep.

This post makes a step on the path to grieving in a healthy way. And makes it all real, while I still feel like I'm in a dream.

I know there are no words that can return my buddy to me. Nor words that can end my sorrow and feeling of immense loss. But any wisdom anyone can provide as to how I can best begin healing would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Derrick