My Babygirl Alex

Where to begin. I am from South Africa. I adopted a beautiful Abbysinian from our reputable SPCA around 2.5 yrs ago. She is my sole-mate, my shadow and my companion. She is loving, kind, gentle and loyal. We formed a strong bond immediately and she is a very significant part of my life. She is now 4yrs old. She loves to follow me around, watch what I do, watch me cook and chase my shoe laces. When she is thirsty I have to turn the tap on for her. Only the freshest water will do for my princess. About a week ago she stopped all her usual behaviour and became a little bit withdrawn. I put it down to the heat wave we are experiencing. On Monday she didn't want to move and lay about the house, so I took her to our vet Tuesday. They confirmed my worst fears: Feline Leukemia and cancer of the kidney (renal failure). They gave her an antibiotic and sent her home to me with a ton of pills. They said that I don't have long. I am shattered, heartbroken. This lively little cat is slowly dying in front of me. I give her the best food now (when she feels like eating) and make sure she is comfortable. But it is still killing me slowly. Today I noticed her eating a little less and lying around a lot more. Her fur is still soft and beautiful and she is drinking lots of water. I am struggling to come to term with this sentence hanging around our necks. She looks at me with her big green eyes and I can see sadness for the first time. I tell her I am with her and will keep her safe but I think she nows that the game is up. I love this cat so much and it is tearing me apart to watch her start to fade away.

I know that when the time comes I will do what is best for her. Her pride and dignity will be kept intact and I will make sure of that. This is very bitter-sweet and I am dreading the final whistle. She is a fighter and has always been one but I think this is her last innings. I cry everyday when I hold her ahd try to spend as much time as my schedule allows. This is the worst I have ever been and I don't want her to die.