Trying To Cope

I had to put my beloved Ceasar kitty to sleep on Friday March 4, 2005. He was 2 years old. We got him when he was 8 weeks old and was told he he had a hole in his heart. But I was just recovering from heart failure myself and thought is was meant to be. They told me at the time he would probably wouldnt live 6 months. He turned 2yrs the past Jan 12. Last wednesday he started looking ill and not eating I took him to the vet and said he had a fever and started treating him for an infection. Thursday he started vomiting blood I took him back to the vet and he stayed until Friday morning when they called me and told me he vomited again and to take him to the speciality clinic. So I rushed him over there,,,he was so very weak he couldnt even stand. They couldnt do the laproscopic test because he was to weak so they ddi an ultrasound of his tummy. Thats when my world fell apart. They said he had cancer and it was bad. They told me we could treat him but he was on limited time. So I decided not to let him suffer. He was to wonderful and to loving of a cat for me to do that to him. My hubby was with him and he purred to the end. We arranged him in his box curled up like he always used to sleep. He looked at peace. Then we buried him at my moms house next to some other beloved pets. It has been one of the hardest things to cope with. I keep looking for him and I want him back so I could hold him again and hear him purr one more time. It hurts sooo bad. He was the most loving cat he slept with me every night and would jump up in my arms. I still find myself looking towards one of his favorite sunning spots to only find it empty. I'm glad this site is here and you are all here to listen I really could use a listening ear.

Christie