My Kirby

On Wednesday Feb 23 330P we put our beloved Kirby down. He was a kind and gentle Newfoundland. I am not able to function. I have such guily feelings. Kirby had skin allergys and constant ear infections. It got so bad he could not be in the house for the smell and his ears hurt all the time. I tried many vets and also put him on a mega vitamin diet. Nothing worked he was losing his fur and was always itching. But I still can not get over the guilt. That final day at the vets was one of the most painful things I have ever done. During the process I swear he looked at me in a way that said what are doing to me I am not ready to go. I feel I have murdered my dog. I am so sad and lonely, I have flashes of him laying on the deck. I wake up ready to feed him and then get a horrible sick feeling that he is no longer here. How long does it take to get thru this. There is a sickness in my stomach and I start sobbing and feel a rush come over me all thru the day. I just want him back so bad. I want to hold him one more time. I want him to shake for a treat one more time. I want to walk him one more time. Everything I look at in and outside of my house reminds me of him. His footprints are still in the snow. How am I going to get thru this. The guilt is overwhelming me. Was there more I could do.....did I make the right decision. The only thing that keeps me going is to think he is in heaven healthy with no more pain, itching and sore ears. How do you ever know you made the right decision? I can only hope it gets better as the days go by.

Thank you for listening

Debbie