Calvin

My kitty Calvin passed away at 1:31 this morning from Liver Disease. It came upon him so quickly I can't believe he was sick and now I can't believe he's gone. He was just diagnoised Tuesday. He was having trouble walking and breathing last night so I knew his time was near to leave me.
I put him to bed with me and held him in my arms. He passed away and I haven't stopped crying yet. I miss him so much and every little thing makes me think of him. I had him for 4 years. He belong to a friend who moved away and couldn't take him with her. I adopted him and fell in love. He was my baby boy and I feel like I lost my child. He was only 10 years old. I thought he'd live for at least another 5 to 8 years. I know that's stupid as cats get sick at different times and die but I never thought my Calvin would leave me like this.
I also have two other cats, Jessie (who I've had since she was a kitten and she's 12) and Mr. Boots who really belongs to my Mother who lives with me but I love him too. He will be 3 months old the 1st of September. I've been loving on them extra today.
Calvin is the first pet that I have had to die. It's so hard. I feel lost without him and I feel guilty, like it's my fault, even though I know it's not.
Will I ever feel better?

Tina Kay