My Heart Is Aching For My Toby!

My heart is aching for my Toby, he was put to sleep on 4/16, we aren't exactly sure what happened, but on the 13th, when he got out of his potty, he was dragging his right leg and he seemed disoriented. I took him to the vet the next morning, and they said he might have had a stroke or there could have been something neuorlogic going on, they told me I could take him home and see if things improved, by Thursday, it moved to his other leg and he could only drag himself across the floor for a little ways and then he would have to stop and rest before moving again, he also kept trying to go in and out of his potty but nothing was happening, and then I noticed that he wet himself twice. Toby was 15 years old and he was my Dads cat, but when my Dad died four years ago I promised I would take care of him and I brought him to live with me.

I took him back to the vet on Friday and they said the kindest thing would be to put him to sleep. I have cried everyday since then and feel so quilty that I did the right thing for him, I miss him so and wish with all my heart that he was with me now. I feel so empty inside and don't know when this will ever feel like me again. I hope Toby forgives me, I thought I was doing the right thing for him, but now I just don't know. How do I ever forgive myself for what I have done.

Cathy