Dottie...

I sent you a message about Oscar. I hope you don't mind and I got your reply today and will do some of the things you are suggesting tommorow, without hurting anyone. I promise. Thanks so much for your support. I may try to go to bed now, so I look fwd. to your private mess. tommorow.

How Do You Deal With The Numbness...

I go from having an I could give a crap about the world attitude to having deep sadness, and back and forth. I realize this is grief, but I actually think I would like this stupid coping mechanism (numbness) to go away, so I can grieve properly for my dear Oscar. When I feel numb it feels like it's not real (he died last Tuesday) like I sometimes look at his picture or see something of his, and not only does his death not seem real, but in this numb feeling it doesn't even seem like HE was real. I actually kind of wish that I would just cry non-stop, at least then I would feel normal. I feel like I sound crazy, and maybe I do, but I thought you guys might understand this and just need some support in my insane moments. Also, my husband doesn't seem to be showing any grief. I mean he is trying to be there for me, and says he misses Oscar, but it just does not seem to effect him in near the way it effects me. This kinda adds to my insanity.

A Sign

I'm new here. I lost my beautiful 12 year old basset hound the other day, due to complications from bloat. I was feeling a lot of regret and blame (don't want to get into that, right now). Anyway, long story short, I have been meaning to mail this package for a while and just kept procrastinating and decided I would take it today to the UPS store as I went by, because they tend to be less crowded than the post office. Well, when I got there you would have thought it was Christmas again, there were so many people, so I had to stand in line. I got bored and started looking around and staring back at me was the cutest basset hound card, same colors as Oscar, sleeping under the covers with his ear covering his eyes. Really hard to explain, but I think you get the picture. I truly believe this is a sign from Oscar to let me know that he is ok with everything and that he is sleeping peacefully. (of course, I bought the card and it is currently displayed). I mean, so much had to happen in order for me to see this card, that I know it was a sign. First, I procrastinated, decided to go to the ups store instead of the post office, it was crowded, bc if it wasn't I probably would have walked straight up to the counter without seeing the card. I now have this peaceful feeling, I don't know how long it will last, but is nice to feel for the moment. So, was this a sign? I totally believe it was, but just curious on your take.