Still Consumed By The Ache In My Heart

I don't know maybe I am trying to rush my grief which is the wrong thing to do. I feel like a bonehead still being so weepy and so distraught over having the Euthanize Ebony. I mean it hasn't even been a week yet! I just feel that I should be happy because we are expectin our second furless child in January and I should be happy about that and I am but I just feel like someone ripped my heart out and part of the family will not be here to welcome our second little girl into the world. I just miss my Ebony so very much and feel so empty without her here. It hurts to see my 3 year old grieving and my other ##er grieving too, she is just pacing around the house looking for Eb and whimpering.

Well thanks for listening to me guys! You all are the best!

Hugs Sharon

My 3 Year Olds Thoughts On Where Ebony Has Gone

My Husband and I had the tough Job of explaining to our 3 year old daughter that Ebony was not coming home. We basically told her that the big lump on Ebby's belly was hurting her too much and she went to be with Jesus so he could take away her pain. She proceeded to cry and bawl for what seemed like an eternity. (Actually about 10 minutes) Well the next morning we all got up as usual, Mak through a kiss up to heaven for ebony and told her good morning, she then proceeded to tell jesus "Jesus please get your OWN dog!"

It was the first smile I was able to muster.

Hugs Sharon

I Put My Best Friend To Rest Yesterday

A picture of my Pal Ebony

Hi ,

I am so happy to have found this forum! Yesterday (12-6-04) we had to put our dear sweet ##er spaniel Ebony to sleep. Ebony was a 12 year old female black ##er spaniel. We found Eb in a garbage can behind a 7-Eleven 11 years ago. Ebony had bladder and kidney cancer and in the last month her tumor grew and grew like nothing I have ever seen in my 33 years. Sunday night was like any other night she was happy go lucky a little tired she had taken to sleeping much more than usual. At about 10 PM she fell and cried out in pain, I carried her to her bed and new something had changed, and the time had arrived, you see I promised Eb when she got sick, as soon as I knew she was in pain and couldn't bear the pain, I would taker the pain away and make it mine. I would make the toughtest decision of my life and put her down. That night I slept on the floor with my best friend and my husband would come and lay with us too. My 3 year old was fast asleep. My husband and I both knew if we were to stay true to the promise I made her, this would be our last night with our beloved pal. My poor sweet girl couldn't stand and couldn't get to the bathroom, she had a sad look in her eyes, and I believe she knew that her time had come. I believe that her mind, heart and spirit did not fail her just a cancer stricken body that couldn't keep up with her. At noon on Monday mornning I took my friend on our last road trip to the vet and had her pain ended.

My only problem is that I can't stop crying, I keep looking for her in all her usual spots, I keep hearing her. My daughter is crying occasionally my other ##er Daisy is looking for her. I am so sad, sad to the core of my being, angry because I feel like I needed more time with her, more time to love her, more time to pet her soft coat, more time. I MISS MY FRIEND! Whenever I would cry my baby would jump up on my lap and lick the tears off my face and wag her tail til I smiled, and now I don't have her to dry this imense puddle of tears. Thank you all for listening to me.

Hugs Sharon